Chapter 2 - hell on earth
EPOV
Every second that passed seemed to take an eternity. The pain was intense. I sat on the windowsill in my little attic room somewhere in Buenos Aires. I did little else except stare out the window and hunt. Even hunting was a chore. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to live. Why had I done this? Why had I done this to us? I felt my will crumbling slowly. Although I knew it was dangerous for her if we were close, although I remembered all the reasons I had left in the first place were still valid, I knew that I was losing this battle. I needed her like I needed my next breath. She was the reason I existed. But she was on the other side of the world now. She was safe from me and my world. She could be human now. I owed it to her to give her a human life. With a husband, children, a career, everything. I stared out of the window while another second ticked by.
My family had given up on coaxing me out of these shadows that clouded me. I had tried to stay with them. I had lasted a week. They were worried about me, I could hear it in their thoughts. They were worried and were debating whether we should just go back. Jasper had felt the depth of my despair, and was struggling to cope with it. Rosalie was pissed off of course, but also smug. Smug that she had finally gotten her way, and I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand her gloating. So I knew I had to leave them. I couldn't allow them to go back to Forks, and I couldn't keep up the pretence of being alright and dealing with them as if everything was normal. I knew that any reminder would be painful for Bella. She needed a clean break. So I decided to separate from my family. I knew I would cause Esme pain as I tore her family apart. I knew I worried Carlisle because there was no life left in my eyes. I knew I had upset Rosalie even more with my selfishness. I knew Alice hated me for taking away her best friend. Yet none of their pain measured up to the pain I had inflicted on myself. Somewhere in the room my phone rang, pulling me from my musings.
I turned towards the sound and saw my phone vibrating on the kitchen counter. The number flashing on the screen was unfamiliar. I frowned. Very few people had that number. Who could be calling me?br /I walked over and brought the phone to my ear as I pressed answer.
'Hello?' I answered, my voice rough and my tone clipped.
'Edward.' Alice's voice cut through the line. I sighed. So she had resorted to tricks to get me to answer now, had she?
'What is it Alice?' I spat. I had no patience to pretend to be civil. I was in too much pain.
'You have to come home.'
'I'm not coming home.'
'You have to Edward' She paused for a moment. 'It's about Bella.'
My hand nearly crushed the phone as I felt panic course through me. 'What? What's happened?
'It's best if I explain in person.' Alice's voice sounded clipped.
I closed my eyes in defeat. She was dead. There was no other reason for Alice's sour tone of voice.
'She's dead.' I spoke softly. The words felt alien. Wrong. They couldn't be true could they? How had she died? Why had she died? Was it all my fault? I was only dimly aware of Alice babbling on the other side of the line. I shook my head and tried to focus on her words.
'She's not dead, not in that sense, Edward. Just trust me. Come home I will explain it then.
Not in that sense. What did that mean?
'What are you talking about Alice?' I demanded. Cursing the fact I couldn't just read her mind over the phone.
I need you to come home.' She repeated again. I blew out a harsh breath. Then I decided. I could head home and see Alice and the rest of the family. If she was really dead, then I could always catch a flight to Italy easily enough. I heard Alice's teeth snap together on the other end. She must have seen my decision to go to Italy then. She growled and I hissed back.
'just come home.' She snapped at me then the line went dead.
I sighed and glanced outside. It was dark already. I looked down at myself. I couldn't go out in public like this. I hadn't taken care of myself at all these past months. I stepped into the dingy bathroom of my room and showered. I grabbed some fresh clothes and did my hair. Then I packed my bags and left the room. It was paid for until the end of the month. They would just assume I left early. I didn't really care about the money so I just left. I headed to the airport in a cab and booked the first flight to the States.