Nowhere Station was surprisingly clean and orderly for an Outlaw Station, it could be mistaken for a civilian one if not for the amounts of illegal wares on display. As I saw a small food stand I gave Barriss a small nudge, "Hungry? I have still some credits left." She just gave me a small nod, in general she hasn't talked much since what happened on the Patchwork. "Hello girls, what can I get you?"an old Besalisk woman greeted us as we sat down at the small counter, her six arms never stopped moving while talking to us. "The number... seven for both of us." "Good choice." A moment later two bowls with hot stew were placed in front of us. That got a reaction out of Barriss, "It was far too long since I had actual food and not some kind of rations." "Is this your first visit on this station?" "Yes, just arrived." "Thought so, newcomers always look a bit confused. What are you two up to in our small part of lawless space?" "We are looking for..." "Work.", I continued after taking a spoonful of stew, "A Twi'lek with a missing lekku." "Ah, you're looking for Tase. Nice young man, spends his time in the Cantina. Go left from here...", she pointed with a pan in the direction, "...and then there is a staircase, go three levels up, and you´re there." "Thank you for the directions... and the food.", Barriss first words towards the woman. I left the credits on the counter before walking together with Barriss in the direction of the stairs. The Cantina was on the highest point of the station. A winding staircase close to the core brought us up, right in the middle of the Cantina. Some of the patrons turned around to take a quick look at us, but none seemed overly interested. So, where's...? "Soka.", Barriss pointed towards the other end of the room, a red skinned Twi'lek was sitting in a small booth. The left side of his face was a mess of scars and one of his lekku was cut off at its base. "That must be him." A broad smile appeared on his disfigured face when he saw us approach, "Ladies. What can I... wait.", he gave us a closer look, "Are you the two girls who came in on the Patchwork?" "Yes..." "That means you must have a great story to tell, Vaarro doesn't care for boring people." He paused like he expected us to tell him. "Very well, sit down. I guess he sent you two to me because you need some work." "That's right." "Good, very good...", he gestured towards the bartender before pulling out a small datapad, "Lets see what we have... a couple of bounties, but that would need a ship, no..." While he was searching and mumbling to himself a droid brought us something to drink, it was... blue? And burned like acid down my throat. "Ah here, perfect. The Wanderer." "The Wanderer?"Barriss looked at her glass but didn't drink from it. "It's an ancient colony ship, the automated navigation system went screwy a couple of centuries ago, and now it's just cruising around. Later this day it will stop here at Nowhere Station for refuelling and as it happens they need bodyguards." "Why does a colony ship need bodyguards?" "Over the years something like a... religion formed around the ship, something about always to keep moving and sharing stories. Harmless." "If so, why do they need bodyguards?", pointed Barriss out. "For every religion there is at least one other religion who wants it destroyed. It seems the Wanderer found theirs. Pay is good, food and a room is covered for, even the flight back to Nowhere Station. What are you saying?" I glanced over to Barriss, her eyes approved and the outlines of a smile could be seen under her veil. "We take it."

The Wanderer was quite a big ship, almost the size of a Republic Destroyer and old, ancient even. "We seem to get rides on all the strange ships, don't we?" "Barriss!"I was barely able to restrain my laughter as three of the crew members, a Twi'lek and two humans, came to welcome us on the gangway. They wear metallic looking robes, probably made from spacesuits. "Are you the two mercenaries Tase talked about?", asked the oldest of the humans. "Yes, my name is Ahsoka Tano." "Barriss Offee.", she bowed with her usual grace, "At your service." "First mate Chiran.", he introduces himself, "Please follow us, we have prepared a small ceremony." "How old is this ship exactly?", I asked as they led us through the ship. Everything looked worn but still functioning, thousands of steps had worn down the coating of the floor, leaving tracks of bare metal. "Her maiden voyage was 2736 years ago." "...wow.", was the best I could come up with. We stopped in the lower decks just in front of a small bulkhead, the hull of the Wanderer must be just beyond it. "Ahsoka Tano and Barriss Offee." Chiran grabbed a small flask with some kind of liquid, "Beyond being a vessel for souls running from their old lives the Wanderer has a second purpose.", he gestured towards the door, "Beyond is the skin of this ancient ship, over hundreds of years thousands carved their story in its flesh." With a small "pop" the flask opened, and he caught the brownish fluid with two fingers. "In a hundred lifetimes, long after the last soul with your names on his lips died, the Wanderer will remember." He drew some kind of symbol on our foreheads. "So please, add your story and name.", one of his companions gave us two plasma cutters. A bit confused I asked, "What story?" "The one you think is the most important in your life. Ship hand Siar will bring you to your quarters after you're finished.", he gestured towards the green skinned Twi'lek before leaving. I gave Barriss an uncertain shrug before stepping through the bulkhead. Chiran wasn't wrong when he said thousands travelled on this ship, every inch of the inside hull was covered in writing, some of it I couldn't read. Mom left with us just before our village was attacked. The day my brother showed me how to hunt. My first skirmish. "Incredible.", Barriss hand hovered just above the writing, like touching it would be a mistake. "Yes..." We split up to find some free space for our stories. I found mine next to the writing of a young girl who retold how she was saved by a clone trooper. What was the most important moment of my life? I have two: The day Master Plo Koon found and took me to the Jedi temple. The day I saw what the Order has become, and I left it behind. Yes, that feels... right. I found Barriss just as she finished her story: The day I destroyed a droid factory and nearly died under a mountain of rubble, but I was saved by the most incredible person I have ever met. The woman I love. "Did I leave such an impression on you that day?" "You saved me more than once, was ready to sacrifice yourself and never lost hope. How couldn't I be impressed by someone like this? And the way you smile always made my heart flutter." With a chuckle, I kissed her on the forehead... what made me spit out immediately. "Machine Oil." "What?", Barriss traced the symbol on her forehead with a finger. "It´s machine oil. They really believe this ship is divine." "If something gets old enough someone will worship it." "Maybe, but you have to admit... It's impressive. All these lives..." "And now we are part of it." I could see a sad smile appear under her veil.

"Please, follow me. I will bring you to your quarters.", Ship hand Siar greeted us with a friendly smile as we returned from the hull. He guided us through the guts of the ship, sometimes we saw other crew members, a lone passenger or an ancient droid repairing something but mostly just empty rooms and halls. He stopped at a room with a "13" next to the door. "These are your quarters. And these belong to you.", he gave us a small datapad, "It´s connected to the security system of the ship and will tell you if there's an alarm. If you want I can give you a quick tour of the ship." "I think I stay here, I... need a moment." Ahsoka gave me a broad smile before following Siar.

"For how long are you part of the crew?", I asked while we walked. "Five... Seven years? It's hard to keep track of time if you live on a ship." "And why did you become a crewmember?" His friendly smile cracked for a second, "There's a rule on this ship: we don't ask for the past, the answer is never pretty. If they want to tell you they will." "Oh, I see... Where are we going first?" "The observatory, one has a beautiful view into the galaxy from there." The Observatory was in the middle of the ship at its highest point, it was the same size as the bridge of a Republic Destroyer, but everything was made from a see-through material. A sea of lights was flying above me. "Wow." "Yeah it's beautiful here." We continued through the ship, two hangars whose big doors were sealed decades ago, a reactor still fulfilling its duty after all this time and a labyrinth of living quarters and storerooms. Seemingly most of the actual work, repairs, maintenance and so on was done by an army of droids with a few mechanics if some "improvisation" was needed. The maybe a dozen crewmembers are mostly here for everything outside this ship, refuelling and buying rations, and of course to help the passengers.

The quarters were small, just big enough for two beds, a closet and a small "bath". Carefully I sat down on one of the bunk beads, the mattress was worn out but still comfy enough. Am I doing the right thing? Should I have been forced to leave me behind? Taking a meditation pose I closed my eyes, deep breaths, clear your mind, concentrate.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There is no death, there is the Force.

You killed me. The face of Letta appeared in my head. Leave me alone. How? I'm you. Your faults, your mistakes, your guilt. I will never disappear. There is... Do you really think that will stop me? Or the screams of the people you killed, the cries of their loved ones. My heart began to race and my breathing became uncontrolled. No, no, no, no! Calm down, Barriss. You are in control of your fears. No you are not, you can´t fight us forever. Dozens of faces flashed through my mind and tears started to run down my face. No, no, I... I need to drown out the darkness... Ahsoka. The faces stopped with her. The white markings on her orange face, like clouds in front of an sunset. Her big blue eyes and lips who were meant to only smile. The darkness faded, and I opened my eyes, tears still running over my face and my clothing is sticking to me with cold sweat. Soon it will be better, I will be better. The door opened and Ahsoka made half a step inside before my sight stopped her. "Barriss, what happened?" "I... I...", it doesn't matter, "I am sorry Ahsoka. I should have told you sooner. I'm blocked... cut off from the Force, I tried to meditate but... there is so much chaos in me, darkness." She sat next to me and pulled me into her arms. "I am here for you, Barriss. You are no longer alone." How do I deserve her? For minutes, we just stayed in each other arms.

A couple of hours later Ahsoka and me decided to take a trip to the canteen for something to eat. We met the other passengers there: A small family of three, a kel´dor woman, and a muun. The family were probably refugees, the woman a weapons merchant, according to the amounts of weapon parts strewn about on the table in front of her. The muun... I wasn't quite sure about him, he was too well-dressed for a refugee... "Who are you?" The young boy of the family, suddenly stood next to us as we grabbed some rations from a dispenser. His eyes wandered to our weapons, "Are you bounty hunters?" Ahsoka leaned down to him with a big smile, "Yes, we are." "Wow." "Sansin!", his mother called him over, "Leave the girls alone." As we sat down at a free table stopped mid-bite, "You know, it's funny." Ahsoka looked at me puzzled. "How our story repeats itself. You, saving me, fighting against overwhelming odds, ending up on a ship with some unseen threat awaiting us." "We really have to stop meeting like that." Our snickering was interrupted by the beeping of the datapad. "An alarm?" "Yes.", she whispered so that the others couldn't hear us, "A airlock at the stern was forced open." "Let's go."

Following the blueprints we were able to reach the airlock within minutes, its control panel was fried and still smoking. "Was there a ship close to the Wanderer?", while I was talking to Ahsoka she took a closer look at the airlock. "We´re still close to Nowhere Station and the sensors of this ancient ship aren't precise enough." "What...", a thought hit me, "What's at the prow of this ship." "The bridge... this was a diversion.", Ahsoka immediately understood my thinking. "There are two direct ways to the bridge.", she pointed at a corridor and a set of stairs. "I take the stairs." "Be careful Barriss.", with a last smile, Ahsoka disappeared in the corridor. The stairs brought me to a broad hallway, it must run almost the whole length of the ship with only a few intersections. These cultists are smart, too smart and... Duck! At the next crossing I leaped, rolled under the blow of a vibro sword, standing back up with my own in hand. My attacker was a young man, barely older than me, wearing tattered black clothes. But his face... scars representing a skull was carved into his flesh. Without a word, he attacked me. Blocking his attacks was easy, he had only basic training and even that was sloppy. I could just... no! Setting my blaster to stun I pushed his sword aside and shot him directly in the chest. That should keep him knocked out until we dealt with the rest. ...how did I know? It thought I was blocked...? I have to understand what is wrong with me, but not now. From then on, I approached ever crossing carefully. A needless precaution as it turns out, nobody else attacked me. Finally, I saw the door to the... with a loud shot, the body of an dark clothed Twi´lek dropped from the left corridor, the whole in his chest was still smouldering as Ahsoka stepped beside him, a small cut on her cheek. "Are alright?", grabbing her by the shoulder, the cut was barely more than a scrape. "Yes, he just ambushed me and I had to react fast. How are you?" "I got attacked by one of them but could stun him." "Good... only two guards, they must be desperate." The panel beside the door to the bridge was also fried, just as the last. "They're already inside. Be careful where you shoot." As the bulkhead opened we were greeted by cables and power lines hanging down like drapes. Carefully pushing them aside, we stepped inside. The bridge was a mess, more electrical lines on the floor or hanging from the ceiling, half opened terminals and controls spilling their innards. From somewhere deeper muffled voices could be heard, the other attackers probably trying to destroy the controls. "Look out!", Ahsoka pushed me aside, a shot cutting through drapes of cables barely missing my face. Ahsoka rushed forward, crashing into someone behind it, a crushing sound followed. As I stepped through the curtains I could see what it was, as Ahsoka ran into the one shooting at us, he slipped and fell face-first into a monitor. Past him was an equal mess of electronic parts, the power lines converging past some servers. Servers the attackers used as cover, waiting to ambush us. Ahsoka walked around the left side, I took the right. If the three saw us, they gave no indication... Behind you! Two more jumped from behind cables at me. I blocked the blade of the first, grabbed his arm and pulled him over my shoulder, kicking the second between the legs and sending him with a punch to the floor. I took a quick look over to Ahsoka, she wanted to help me, but this moment used the three others to attack her. Ashoka grabbed the hand of the one closest to her, making his blaster barely miss her head. As I looked back my first attacker was already back on his feet, I tried to raise my blaster, but he was faster than expected and swatted it from my hand. His sword blows could be easily blocked but came with such a force that every hit sent painful vibrations through my arm. Maybe I can... Behind you! I ducked as a second blade hissed by my head, his friend was also back up. He must have an extreme pain tolerance. I can't block them forever, I... with his next blow I pushed the blade aside and cut off the weapon hand, blood spewing from his arm stump and screaming he dropped. Before his friend came back from his shock I shot him in the leg and with a slash through his neck he fell down dead. With a heavy beating heart, I took a look around, death and destruction around me. Ahsoka had killed one of her attacker with a stab to the chest and shot the other two with her blaster. The metallic smell of blood hit me, I'm not a stranger to death but lightsabers and blasters are clean, bloodless and quick. My hands were sticky and specks of blood covered my clothing. What am I doing? I wanted to be better, I... "The journey must continue. Find the promised land.", several voices spoke, slightly off from each other and were accompanied by several bits of binary. I followed the voices towards where the power lines converged. A dozen of half dismantled astromech droids were wired together and connected to the systems of the ship, constantly repeating the phrase, "The journey must continue. Find the promised land." "What is this?" "That's the navigator, the oldest serving member of the crew.", we turned around to the voice. Siar was standing there a shocked looked on his face, "What happened?"

We used a small storage room as a makeshift cell for the only survivor, the one who attacked me in the corridor, and I was able to stun. "What now?", Siar paced around the corridor, sweat collecting on his brow. "We will ask him some question." He gave her a doubting look, "Maybe you should leave us alone for a bit..." Turning a brighter hue of green before disappearing around the next corner. This must be a first for him. The young cultist was bound to a chair and still unconscious as we entered the small room. Slowly he woke up. "What was your plan?", Ahsoka asked. "Silence..." "What was your plan?", this time the question was accompanied by a wave of her hand. "I... we..." "What was your plan?", again. "We... wanted to destroy the bridge... stop the ship, so..." "So?" "...so our brothers and sisters could board the ship." "When are they coming? How many?" "I don't know... not important." "I don't think we get anything else from him.", Ahsoka turned to leave, but I stopped her. "Wait, ask him if there are more of them on the ship." With a small smile, she turned back towards him, "Are there more of you on this ship?" "Yes... someone helped us get... on board." "Who?" "I... don't know. Her name... wasn't important." "Let's speak with Siar." "We should be careful. He said it himself, he wasn't important enough. There could be more on board. The Twi´lek was with some cleaning droids. "What did he say?" "Not much, they wanted to destroy the bridge, so their friends could board it easier." told him Ahsoka. "So there are more?" "Yes, though we don't know what their plan is now." "That is... I don't even... I have to talk to Chiran!" He basically run away, almost stumbling over a cleaning mech.

"Ahsoka, I don't..." "I saw you, I could feel something was wrong, so please tell me." As we returned to our room I immediately stepped into the "bath" to wash the blood off of me, as I returned she stood in the middle of the room, her blue eyes full of worries. "I... I wanted to be better Ahsoka. Not turning into a murderer... again. I should have... you should have left me in this cell!" I crawled back on my bunk, hiding in the furthest corners, my legs pulled to my chest. "Barriss. No, you are better. If we didn't have stopped these cultists what would have happened?" "...they would have killed us, destroyed the bridge." "..." "Given the others a chance to board this ship, destroy it and kill everyone on it." The small claws of my darkness stopped. "We knew this when we became Jedi. You saw the truth, we are not keepers of peace but warriors, protecting whoever is in need no matter what." Again I ended up in her arms, "How do you do this, Soka? Always saying the right thing." "I don't know..." For some minutes we just laid in each other's arms, me enjoying the warmth of her body. "I want to try something." Before I could ask she pulled me in the middle of the bed. "What are you...?" "Just... sit and meditate with me." "Ahsoka, I told you...''That your connection to the Force is blocked. So let's try together." How do I deserve her? I sat down in a meditation pose, Ahsoka across me with both hands in mine. "There is no em-..." "No." "No?", Ahsoka was confused by my interruption. "We are no longer Jedi, we shouldn´t follow their words... we will find our own." She gave me an understanding smile before closing her eyes again. Slow and controlled breaths, clear your mind. The darkness receded, not disappearing but growing weaker, almost forgotten. I listened to her slow breaths, feeling my body becoming lighter and... Murderer! My breath got stuck in my throat as my heart froze and the darkness returned. "Breath Barriss, breath." Ahsoka grabbed my hands tighter, and I concentrated on this feeling. Slowly I got my breathing back under control and opened my eyes. Her concerned face before me, clouds in front of a sunset. "Thank you." "One step at a time, Barriss. You will be better." A couple of hours later we were laying on one of the beds, my head in Ahsoka's lap, her hand slowly running through my dark hair. "What now?" "We have to wait Ahsoka, let them make the first step." "I don't like it. Just waiting around and hoping we´re able to catch them before they blow up the ship... what if we set a trap?" "How?" "We tell everyone that at the next stop a group of bounty hunters comes onto the ship. They will need to speed up their plan, make mistakes." "A risky plan but probably the only one where we have a chance to catch whoever is helping them. If we get her the others will have a hard time getting on board." "You´re right... I think I can modify the security system, so it tells me if someone enters the bridge or reactor unscheduled."

"Aah!", with an electric spark, I pulled my hand out of the broken water purifier, "That was the wrong cable." In the absence of anything better to do me and Barriss volunteered to repair some of the broken machines and there was definitely enough of that on this ship. And, though the machine was really broken, the real reason for us to be in the canteen was to watch the other passengers and members of the crew. This morning we told Chiran the "bounty hunters" and whoever their accomplice is, sooner or later she must come through here. "Who do you think is it?", Barriss words barely more than a whisper. "Hard to say. The kel´dor woman? She fits the part." "I think it's someone from the crew." "Maybe... could you give me the fuse over there? Thank you." With a small scraping noise one of the doors opened, "Mommy, did you hear?! More bounty hunters!" The small family entered, the son was ecstatic from the news while his parents seemed to be deep in thought. When the mother spotted us, she came over, "Is it true? They hired more?" "Yes,"answered Barriss, "They'll come aboard on our next stop." "Are we in danger?" "No, they just want to be sure." She thought about my words but didn't seem to relax. "Thank you but... I think we will jump ship on the next port." Probably better. "What are you doing?" Her son got somehow behind me without us noticing. "Oh this machine was broken so we´re repairing it." His eyes started to sparkle, curiosity only a child can have. "Sansin, let the girls alone." "No, it's fine.", I turned towards him, "How about I teach you a couple of things?" "Can I mommy, please?" "Fine, but do exactly what they say." He sat himself between me and Barriss on the floor. "Okay, look here..."

"So... which cable must be connected with the distillery?" Half an hour later I was finish with my lessons and looked if it was a success. After some seconds of deep thinking he pointed at a green cable. "That one?" "Yes, very good." With a satisfying hum the purifier awakened. "Mommy, mommy I repaired the machine!" With that, he run to his parents to tell them of his accomplishments. "You're good with kids." "Training. What is next?" "The waste incinerator on level four is malfunctioning.", she took at the notes one of the mechanics gave us, "But we have to first find some spare parts in the upper hangar." The upper hangar... I only went there once, on the quick tour through the ship with Sira. It's the bigger of the two hangars, at the back of the ship just above the engines. Several small old ships and machinery was stored there. All of them broken beyond repair. The heavy doors opened slowly and I was just about to take a step inside as Barriss stopped me, "Is something... different here?" Different? The machinery has been moved around, but that was normal. The crew came to search here for spare parts often, leaving tracks in the... "Where is all the dust?" The last time we were here everything was covered in a thick layer of dust, centuries old, but now everything was perfectly clean. Together we stepped inside, carefully watching our surroundings. Most of the machines and spaceships were to the right of us while the sealed hangar doors were to our left. "Wait... this ship is new.", Barriss pointed towards the one nearest to the hangar doors. The ship had the form of a half moon without any transition between the wings and the main body, just one smooth curve. That together with the dark red colour of its hull made the impression of a knife covered in blood, the four engines dangerous barbs. It´s real dangers where two cannons at the front for the pilot and a small rear turret, uncommon for a ship of its size. Not the last strange thing, the cockpit was separated in two parts: the copilot's seat was at the front of the ship while the pilot sat higher than him in a teardrop-shape dome in the upper hull. "How did it get here?", a terrible thought crept into my mind. "Barriss, search the hangar, I'll check the doors." The last time they were welded shut, sealed... not anymore, someone cracked them open. "Ahsoka, come here! I found some bodies." I don't like where this is going. Barriss was standing beside an old generator close to the wall. In the small space between three bodies were stacked next to each other. Half standing, like they were just having a nap. "Is this...?" "Shiphand Siar.", confirmed Barriss my suspicion, "They killed some members of the crew and took their uniforms?" "But why? Three are not nearly enough to take over the ship and..." "There is maintenance on the main reactor scheduled for today." Seconds later we were out the hangar running towards the machine deck. "How did it not cause an alarm when the hangar doors opened?" "They were sealed for centuries, the security system is only decades old. They probably didn't add the doors on the schematics, why should they? The system didn´t know the doors existed." We weren't even able to reach the elevators as a shudder went through the ship, the lights flickered and turned to the red of emergency energy. The engines died last. We can't run anymore.