George looked up at his ceiling and sighed. It had been about twenty minutes since he had first woken up but he couldn't bring himself to get out of bed. He lay there with his covers thrown haphazardly over him, trying to avoid the looming feeling of all his daily tasks. Despite what people may think George wasn't one to shuck off all his responsibilities just because he was feeling a little sad. But on this particular day he didn't think he could go through all the motions.
He didn't feel up to filming a video, he knew he should, but he really didn't feel like listening to himself talk for the hour and a half it took to actually film one. Then watch anxiously as the comments pilled in, waiting to see if he would meet his some what unrealistic expectations. He knew logically that not all of his videos were going to do as well as others, but that didn't stop the over critical, pessimistic thoughts from crashing in on him.
Most of his viewers were, for the most part, very sweet and supportive. However he somehow always managed to find those comments. The ones that really got to him. As much as he would like to believe he wasn't always the same unbothered guy he makes himself seem. Sometimes when he puts on the mask he imagines putting on a different personality for a moment. Someone happier, someone funnier, someone who could meet those expectations.
As George waited in the overwhelming silence, he could hear a soft pattering about the flat. He knew it was Alex. A rare occurrence this was really. Not often was Alex awake and moving before George was. Normally he would be having his coffee at the island, the two of them scrolling through twitter in the morning quiet.
He listened as Alex's footsteps wandered about. They fell short right in front George's door. There was no noise for a second as Alex pondered whether or not he should bother his flatmate. After all he may have been sleeping.
Two knocks sounded softly at the door. "George, mate?" He spoke before knocking for a third time. "George, I've brought you something.." Alex opens the door timidly, his brown hair peeking out. Seeing that George was awake, he stepped fully into the room. "Mate? You Alright?"
George didn't respond, just turned his head in order to get a better look at his friend. Alex was in his usual black sweats and hot pink hoodie. His messy hair was parted down the middle, and his bright eyes were looking at George worriedly.
He hold's up his hands showing a white mug with steam rising from the top. "I've brought you some coffee." He says, placing it on George's beside table. "Thanks mate." George mumbles, tugging his pillow closer to him. A frown settles on Alex's face. "George buddy, what's wrong?" He goes to sit on the end of his bed, George curls his knees up to make room for him.
He sighs again, not really sure how to get it across, it feels so stupid and juvenile when he thinks about it but he couldn't help it. "I just- I" He was struggling for words again. He had never been good at words before. It made him feel like he was back in school, he hated that feeling. That feeling of being stupid, not good enough, like everyone was staring at him and judging him at the same time.
"It's only me George, you know you can tell me.." He knew Alex meant it, but he just felt so alone. So stupid and alone. "Alex I-" He could feel his breath hitch, his eyes becoming teary suddenly. He sniffled looking down at his sheets. "Oh Mate come here." Alex moves to sit next to George so that he is by the wall and George was next to the bedside table. He wrapped his arms around George tightly. George couldn't hold it in any longer, it felt so nice just to be hugged. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to tell Alex what was bothering him. "I hate it Alex,I feel so stupid!" He was getting more frustrated and more incoherent as he spoke. "It's okay Gee, it's alright." Tears began to prick at Alex's eyes seeing his best friend in so much pain.
George let himself be held resting his head on Alex's shoulder as he cried. "It hurts Al, it just really hurts andidontknowhy" Alex just strokes his hair. "I know George. I know." He wraps the two of them up in George's blankets. They stay like this for a long while, Alex whispering to George that everything would be just fine.
When he had calmed down enough, Alex made the two of them some popcorn and then settled back in George's bed for a movie. To be honest, George wasn't quite sure if he knew that everything was going to be okay, but with a best mate like Alex he knew he could take it. He had never had a better best friend he thought to himself, as Alex cracked jokes and rubbed his back in a soothing way through out the film.