FINN

I hear the door bell ringing from inside the house. I'm sitting in my garden and I really don't want to see anyone. Someone really wants to get in. I hug my knees tighter and hope the person on the other side of my front door will go away. There's no light on in my house. Nothing to indicate I'm actually home.

"Finn!" Sheamus yells.

Of course it's him. Fenella's brother. I don't wanna see him. I know he's here to argue and blame me again. As if I don't already blame myself enough. He starts pounding away on my door with his hands. I keep hugging my knees, wishing for him to give up and go away.

"Go away, please," I whisper.

The knocking stops and for a short while I don't hear anything. I think he finally gave up and went home, but unfortunately that turns out not to be true. He suddenly stands next to me. The bastard walked around my house and found me in the garden.

"I knocked on your door, asshole," he says.

I look up at him with tears running down my face. I don't care that he sees me cry. I wouldn't be able to stop the tears anyway. He seems more angry by seeing my tears. I thought he would feel joy in seeing me hurt.

"Wipe your fucking face!" He growls.
"I'm so sorry, Sheamus. I miss her so much," I say.
"She was my sister!" He yells.
"She was my girlfriend!" I yell back.

He seems stunned for a moment. I've never raised my voice at him before but it was called for in this moment. I get up on my feet and he actually looks nervous. Maybe he forgot how big I am.

"You killed her," he says.
"It was an accident," I say.
"You drove that car. You're the reason she was on the road with you that night. It should have been you lying in the hospital. It should have been you who's in the ground now," he says.
"You're the one who pulled the plug," I throw in his face.

It's true I drove the car that day, but I never meant to kill her. I didn't speed. If anything, the bad weather made me slow down. Cloudburst from out of nowhere hit. We were stuck in it. I drove slower to try and make us get home in safety. The car slipped in the water on the road. We spun around and ended in a tree. It was pushed into her side of the car. I knew it was bad right away. She wasn't responding at all. The hospital said it was best to give her peace. She was braindead and would never wake up. I begged him not to pull the plug. I would pay for everything and take care of her as long as he let her live. He still chose to pull the plug though. For that I will never forgive him.

"You don't get to fucking blame me! You killed her!" He snarls. "I wish I had never introduced you to her. You fucking ruined her."
"I loved her!" I scream. "Fenella was my heart and soul. She was my everything. I loved her more than you can ever imagine. You're the one who killed her. You pulled the plug. Not me. She's dead because of you. Now get the fuck off my property before I make you."

He bares his teeth at me as if he's a cornered animal ready to attack. I know this is it. We have no more words to say so we're gonna talk with our fists instead.

"You're a fucking dead man!" He spits in anger.

He steps towards me. I raise my fists, ready to fight back. I will not let him hurt me because of this. It's not my fault. I didn't kill her. He's about to take a swing at me but something pushes us apart. It's like a lightning strikes the ground between us. We both look up at the sky and then back at each other. We both felt it. Something pushed us apart by force.

"Did you feel that?" I ask lowly.
"Yes," he answers. "What was that?"
"Fenella," I say.

I feel her presence as if she's right here next to me. My red haired, blue eyed angel. He stands still for a second or two. I can see he's about to break down. There's no anger left in this moment. I want to make things right between us. We should hurt and heal together instead of fighting each other. I wanna ask him to come inside for a drink. Ask him to sit down and talk like we used to. I never get to say anything. He turns around and storms away. I'm left in the dark garden alone again. I'll always be alone. Fenella is gone. She's never coming back. The realization of that breaks me once again. I sit back down, hug my knees and start crying again.