A/N: This is our first peek into Ana and Christian's dynamic. Reminder that this is a continuation from the books. Again, feedback appreciated!

Chapter 1

Ana

"Good morning, Ana." Gail's sympathetic eyes meet mine. I don't bother to hide the dark circles underneath them, she was more than used to it by now.

"Good morning," I answer softly. "You know you're not supposed to be here? It's Saturday."

"I thought I'd help out this morning so you and Mr. Grey get settled in again so you all could focus on the children."

"Gail, you know he's probably going straight to the office after he changes clothes."

She smiles sadly. "Jason mentioned that he'd been missing them."

Must be nice to have a husband that actually talks to you. "Well, knock me over with a feather," I mutter, hopping onto a stool at the breakfast bar as she slides a cup of coffee towards me. Tea is still a favorite, but motherhood had ended up permanently turning my tastes towards something stronger in the morning. "ETA?"

"It should be about half an hour."

"Thanks, Gail." She smiles and quietly leaves the room. It is about 6:30 by now and my little munchkins already both enjoy a little sleep-in, so I sit and drink my coffee and try to brace myself for Hurricane Grey. Or Deep Freeze Grey. You never know.

I finish my coffee and go up to the bedroom to change out of my stained, ratty pajamas. My standard uniform used to be one of Christian's t-shirts, but I can't even look at those anymore, let alone wear one. It's cold and rainy and I see no reason to dress for anything but comfort, so I just choose a black sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. I quickly wash my face in the bathroom, then slip down the hall to peek into my daughter's room. She's still asleep, splayed out like a starfish on her stomach with her wild brown waves almost completely covering her face. I smile and continue down the hall to my son. He's sitting on the edge of his bed rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Good morning, Teddy bear," I whisper.

He meets my eyes and smiles adorably. "Morning, Mommy." He gets up and walks into my waiting arms.

I kiss his copper mop several times. "How do blueberry pancakes sound?"

He nods sleepily and I take his hand and lead him down to the kitchen where Gail is gathering ingredients. As I get him settled, I hear a car pull around at the front door. Reflexively, I freeze. He's here. Teddy hears the car as well and looks up at me with big blue eyes. "Daddy?" he asks hopefully.

An ache ripples through my chest as I look down at him, just a boy who misses his father. "It should be," I manage to choke out.

Just then, the front door opens and Teddy clambers out of the room to investigate. I lean against the breakfast bar, which might as well be holding me up right now for all the good my legs are doing me. My husband is home, and it feels like I'm preparing for war.

"Daddy!" I hear Teddy's squeal of delight echo through the house. The pain in my chest is briefly assuaged knowing that at least my baby is happy. "Mommy! Mommy! Daddy's home!"

Gail gives me a knowing look as I square my shoulders and walk into the foyer.

My husband is kneeling in front of our son, holding him against his chest and nodding as he babbles about what he's been up to lately. For a moment, he closes his eyes, almost reverently, and holds him slightly tighter. He opens them and immediately turns and locks eyes with me, as if he could sense me there.

I register the intensity in them momentarily but drop my eyes before I can read too much into it. I can feel a small smile on my face that is only partially artificial at the sight of my son's exuberance. Teddy looks behind him to see what his father is looking at and breaks away from his embrace, instead running to me and grabbing my hand.

"Mommy, look! Daddy's back. He's back!" He continues to celebrate his father's arrival out loud as he pulls me over to where Christian is still kneeling.

Once we are parked right in front of him, he stands with Teddy in his arms and looks at me. We say nothing, and the eye contact that used to feel like two souls meeting and intertwining between us just feels uncomfortable and foreign now.

"Daddy?" Teddy looks between us. "Kiss Mommy hello?"

I look down again, having no interest in witnessing Christian's inevitable rejection of that idea. "Teddy, I'm going to go check on baby sister so she can have pancakes too." I lean in and kiss my son's cheek, careful not to breathe so I don't catch a whiff of Christian's ever-intoxicating scent and hightail it out of there and up the stairs.

By the grace of the heavens, she is awake now and blinking her silver eyes sleepily. She smiles brightly when she sees me, and I immediately scoop her up and kiss her chubby cheeks. She's growing up, but she still has that irresistible baby smell and I take in a deep, calming breath of it.

I'm startled by a voice in the doorway as I give my daughter her morning cuddle. "Ana?"

I whirl around and see Christian. I finally get a good look at him. He's in a grey suit, no tie, with the top few buttons of his shirt undone. Hair as wild and just-fucked as ever. As usual, he looks unfairly fresh and delicious for someone who just got off a redeye.

Phoebe sees him too and points. "Daddy?" she says questioningly.

I swallow the bitter taste of disappointment at my daughter seeming unsure of who her father is. "Yes, babydoll, Daddy," I confirm softly in her ear. She continues to look at him speculatively.

I walk towards him and settle her into his arms, to which she doesn't object. I make to brush past him, but his hand reaches out and takes hold of mine. "Ana, can we talk? Just us?" he says softly.

I look at him and he looks sincere, almost pleading. I stare for a beat and too long before dropping my eyes again, looking at his hand enveloping mine. "Sure. After they eat, please." Without waiting for a response, I shake myself free and go downstairs to help with breakfast.

Gail is just serving up the first of the pancakes onto a plate and I sit next to Teddy and cut his food up while he chatters about his week at preschool. Christian joins us a few minutes later with Phoebe in his arms. He attempts to get her into her highchair, but he's out of practice, so I silently take her and do it myself. He lingers next to me as I settle her in, but Teddy demands his attention, so I get a little breathing room.

We eat a relatively quiet breakfast, minus Phoebe's coos and Teddy's constant stream of conversation. The proximity of my husband is keeping me on edge. Teddy keeps remarking on all of his family being together, and it's not lost on me that even my four-year-old has picked up on how rare that is.

Once he finishes his pancakes, Teddy quickly loses interest in sitting and skitters off into the great room to watch cartoons. I keep my attention on Phoebe as she finishes her last few bites of pancakes, but I can feel Christian's eyes on me. Quite honestly, I don't understand why he's even still in the room.

Phoebe starts to squirm as we finish the last bite and that's her cue that she's ready to join her brother. I take her to the other room and plop her onto the couch. Teddy immediately scoots over and puts his arm around his sister. Always protective.

Gail and Jason are in the room, so I decide to make myself scarce before Christian comes in here. I'm sure he'll find me if he actually wants to talk. Given what I have in mind to bring up to him, I'm not eager to be the one to start it. I kiss both of their little heads and head upstairs to Teddy's room.

I'm just tidying his bed up when I feel him behind me. I continue what I'm doing, half out of spite and half just to delay the inevitable, and he takes the bait. "Ana," he says softly, almost like he's talking to a cornered animal. Fitting. "Can we talk in our bedroom?"

I swallow my scoff at his terminology. I'm the only one who ever sleeps in our bedroom. I murmur an acknowledgement and he follows me in that direction, closing the door when we get there.

I perch myself on the edge of the bed, smoothing the covers that are mussed on my side up to the headboard and fixing the pillows. He keeps his distance near the door, but eyes me the whole time. I finally sit still and meet his gaze expectantly, waiting for him to speak.

He clears his throat. "I need to go into the office today."

The biting retorts bubble up in my throat. And you're telling me this why? It's not like you ever do me that courtesy anymore. I again swallow them. "Okay."

He runs his fingers through his hair, which momentarily distracts me. I used to do that. The chilly, unfamiliar aura between us snaps me back into reality. "I… I was hoping you could bring the kids over for lunch. We could spend some time together, all of us?"

I blink. Unexpected.

I don't know what to say besides, "Okay."

He continues to look at me, his brow furrowed. His expression looks almost raw, conflicted… desperate. It's too much for me to take in. "Was there anything else?" I ask, my voice surprisingly steady.

His gaze doesn't lose one bit of its intensity and he appears to be struggling for words. "Ana, look, I… I know that things haven't been right lately..."

Lately. For the past year plus. Whichever.

"…but I want us to talk about that."

And there's my in.

I clear my throat. "I want us to talk about that too, actually. But I can't right now. The kids and I always spend the day together on Saturday and they're already waiting. If it's possible for you to be home tonight, I would like to do so sooner rather than later."

He looks so forlorn at my words, and I almost want to hold him. If touching him hadn't been so harshly conditioned out of me, I probably would. But I don't understand this Christian anymore. I only know the detached, vacant version. So I just look away.

"Of course I'll be home tonight… I want to have dinner with them and help with bedtime."

Again, unexpected.

"I'm sure they'll like that," I say diplomatically. Not sure if I can say the same. The thought of the bedtime routine with him after all this time sounds painful in more ways than one.

After a few more beats of silence, I stand and walk towards the double doors, careful to use the one furthest away from him. I debate leaving him with a greeting such as 'have a good day,' but it just doesn't come out. It seems his only good days are ones spent away from me.

Back downstairs, Teddy breaks his gaze away from the television when he sees me. "Where's Daddy?" he asks, his face falling a bit.

My chest throbs at the sight of it. "We'll see Daddy again at lunchtime. We're going to go to his office. Would you like to get dressed up like a big boy to go downtown?"

He nods excitedly. Distraction accomplished. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Christian standing in the next room, out of sight of the kids. I pointedly do not return his gaze and settle onto the couch with the kids. Soon enough, I hear the car door outside again. Back to the status quo.