2. Forever Yours
"KVN, get that thing out of here before I shoot it and you."
At the sound of Avocato's sharp tone, Gary Goodspeed looked up from where he and Fox were improvising a camp stove out of broken engine components. It was a desperate bid on their part to save them from having to eat regenerating worm sushi day in, day out, for two whole days. Only Ash actually liked the worms, Tribore could tolerate them, and Mooncake swallowed them whole even though he didn't need to eat. The rest of the Team Squad was clinging to hope that cooking the short, torpedo-shaped worms could make them somewhat palatable.
Gary had never thought the day would dawn where he dreamed about ketchup, but he had never craved condiments like he did here. Not even on the Galaxy 1, where he'd only been allowed tiny packets of mustard and ketchup.
But it was no idle threat Avocato issued, and he was clearly fed up. KVN had a lousy (or excellent, depending on your point of view) track record when it came to Avocato shooting him. Without straining, Gary could think of half a dozen occasions where the Ventrexian had made good on his promise. Each occurrence was a treasured memory, something he recalled when his spirits needed a lift. Avocato was not one to mess with or mess around, though at least he warned the robot first. Most of the time, anyway.
Personally, Gary would have been delighted to see KVN get blasted out of the sky again, preferably for good. Casting Fox a knowing look, Gary rose from where he crouched, discovering all sorts of cricks and creaks as he moved.
"KVN, I'd tell you to listen to Avocato, but I'd seriously rather see you get shot again."
As he spoke, the battered yellow Deep Space Insanity Avoidance Robot backed out of their makeshift shelter, both hands held where Avocato could see and clutching a purple sphere. A pissed off Ventrexian warlord, his blaster leveled at the robot, emerged from the shadows.
"S'up, Cato?" wondered Gary, his side already chosen, stepping out of the line of fire and motioning Fox back. He knew Avocato wouldn't miss, but he wanted to give Avocato a clear shot. Besides, if KVN exploded he didn't want to miss a blessed moment of it.
"Some idiot gave this idiot a forever ball, which he just set loose inside," growled Avocato.
Gary groaned, having witnessed firsthand the destruction that toy could cause. "You still have that thing? Where did you find it?"
KVN whirled to face him, sounding inordinately pleased as he pointed to his own back. "In my butt!"
He very deliberately did not look away from the robot as he answered, "Not going there. Avocato, what did he break?"
"Noting vital, but Ash and Tribore won't be real happy."
Now Fox got in on the disapproving frown action, and he actually liked KVN. They had so few things left to them, and what they had was highly valued (forever balls being the sole exception). The last thing Fox wanted was for his sister to be upset.
"What the hell!" snapped Gary, unleashing. "KVN, you saw that stupid thing kill a guy! I mean, granted he was an animated mummy and was scheduled to die with disco, but you know what these things can do! I told you not to use that on the ship! Ever! That wreck right there is still the ship!"
KVN spun around and danced mid-air. "We have a ship! Hooray! Let's fly awa-"
Avocato fired. A shower of sparks flew wide and KVN let out a little scream of fear. He darted away, doing a poor job of hiding behind Gary. Fully on the same page as Avocato, Gary reached over and wrestled the ball out of KVN's pincer, holding it up.
"See this?" He whipped the ball as hard and as far as he could over the closest cliff. "It comes no closer to the ship than that or Avocato melts you into slag. Got it?"
"I got it! I got it!" cried KVN as if he was about to make the ultimate catch in the outfield. He zoomed off after the forever ball, singing to himself.
Avocato sighed and turned back to the shelter, shaking his head. "And I've got a headache." He looked at Gary, weary. "Wake me up in about three years."
"Deal."
Gary watched him head inside, worried. Avocato had been experiencing headaches a lot, lately. They all had, in one form or another, but in Avocato's case, Gary knew it wasn't just whining. He'd been sleeping a lot, and despite the composed exterior, he wasn't feeling well. Given the state of mind and body the Ventrexian had enjoyed less than a week prior, it was a legitimate concern.
They needed to talk. Soon. It wasn't something Gary could let slide. He also needed to talk to Quinn, and his mom, and . . . the to-do list was endless. This was the downside to this being The Captain gig. Still, they were all back together, and Gary counted that as a major victory for their side.
In the distance, he could see KVN joyously chasing the forever ball as it bounced across the rocky surface. With any luck, rescue or escape would come while the robot was preoccupied, and Gary could escape for real.
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Over the next few days, KVN quickly learned to either leave the ever-bouncing forever ball somewhere safe outside the range of Avocato's blaster, or put it back where he found it and not say anything. Gary wasn't sure which scenario was a fact, and he didn't care, so long as KVN stayed away and Avocato wasn't being riled.
The stove was a success, but cooking was an abysmal failure, proof positive that there was no god. Roasted, the worms screamed in agony, stopping only at that moment they turned to carbon and crumbled off the spit. Boiled, they just turned to gooey water, which at least was still potable, though gross. Baked, they dried out to dust. Everyone sighed and came to terms with worm sushi.
They were just rousing one frosty morning (Gary, Quinn, Mooncake, and Little Cato were piled atop the oven that was Avocato, the rest of the Team Squad was clustered around Fox, who was almost as warm as a Ventrexian and had a lot more surface to radiate heat) when the tremor hit. Instantly alert, everyone piled outside the shelter, wide-eyed and anxious.
"Earthquakes," Gary could not help but bitch. "Just freakin' perfect. Can this ball of rock get any wor-"
"What's that there?" wondered Sheryl, pointing. "It's moving."
They squinted into the distance. In a few moments they all spotted the small dark object moving between the sharp pinnacles of rock. As they watched, it ping-ponged back and forth.
"I believe that may be the forever ball," said HUE.
"Someone else has one?" KVN asked, thrilled.
HUE looked at him, managing to convey disgust with his clunky robot body language. "KVN, you told me yourself that you hid yours out there."
"I did? How smart of me! Hear that, me? I'm smart!"
"Not really."
"The hell's a forever ball?" Sheryl demanded.
"They bounce forever!" cheered KVN.
"Yeah." Avocato let out a huff. "What KVN's failing to mention is that forever balls also store kinetic energy and release it on impact to gain speed. Get them going fast enough, those things can do more damage than a meteor swarm, just from the inside. They were banned on Ventrexia after some obnoxious kid trashed an entire art gallery with one. We've actually deployed them as weapons in the Ventrexian military."
"It must have fallen from wherever KVN hid it and started bouncing," lisped Tribore. "Not a good thing, people."
"That one's a killer," said Little Cato, pointing.
KVN clasped his hands with pride. "I did take it off a dead Sintilina worshiper!"
"Oh, sure, now you can say it," Gary snapped.
Muttered Ash, "No, he can't."
"Guys," warned Avocato, looking down at his boots. "We're not done yet. Brace yourselves!"
HUE toppled over and rolled away, coming to rest against Fox's leg as another tremor shook the ground. Sheryl kept Tribore from falling, and Quinn grabbed Tribore's other hand as they all swayed with the planet. Little Cato seized his father's tail, holding on tight. Gary pinwheeled his arms and struggled to maintain his balance, fixated on the forever ball.
Avocato had called it – the forever ball was picking up strength with each impact. It was moving faster and faster until it wasn't just bouncing off the rocky spires, it was shattering them.
"Oh, my crap," breathed Gary as a huge, sharply-angled pinnacle of solid stone crumbled, sliding down the mountainside. Another soon followed, then another. Unless stopped, a toy could destroy the whole planet. "Cato, can you shoot that?"
The one-time general shook his head. "It's out of range and moving too fast to hit with a blaster."
"We've gotta stop it," swore Gary. He gestured. "KVN, it's your ball. Go stop it."
Please, please, please, his mind begged.
"What? No!" squawked Fox. "KVN, you can't! You'll be killed."
"Sure he can," Avocato said, oozing support for this plan.
"Technically, KVN's not alive," argued HUE, struggling to rise. "Therefore, he can't be killed."
"Exactly!" agreed Gary. "Thank you, HUE! No downside to this plan!"
"I know, I know, I know the lack of love for KVN is well documented!" preached Fox. "But that sunny ball of crazy saved my life on Darga and no way am I gonna stand around and let him get killed by a rogue bouncy ball!"
"You'll get over it, kiddo," Sheryl assured him.
Gary nodded his wholehearted support. His mom might be the most un-mom mom who never mommed, but when you were right, you were right. And right now, she was right.
Suddenly Tribore struck a pose and pointed dramatically into the distance. "Heads up, sports fans! We got incoming! Oh! Somebody get a picture! I can feel how good I look right now. Posterity deserves this."
As always, they ignored the ego and heeded the warning. Little Cato's ears flattened sharply as he spotted what Tribore's six eyes had picked up first – a black dot arcing out of the distant ravine, growing larger as it made a beeline right for them.
"Daaaaaaaaaad!"
"Out of the way!" ordered Avocato in his best outside voice, laying hold of his son as Gary tackled Mooncake to the ground.
They scattered, diving and rolling and screaming a second before the forever ball came smashing down right where they'd been standing. An ear-cracking sound echoed off the mountains. The impact sent them tumbling, carving out a crater and a deep furrow through the rock as the forever ball bounced on.
Shaking off a coat of newly-made purple dirt and pebbles, Gary pushed himself to his knees just in time to see the ball come smashing down on the battered hulk of the Crimson Light. The ball passed clean through the hull, through the deck, through the lower hull, then bounced back up at a new angle, producing a series of basketball-sized holes in and holes out. He gaped, a tiny whine escaping his throat as the forever ball shot into the sky at what seemed to be escape velocity. If it came back down here, they wouldn't have a chance.
Everyone watched, transfixed, as the ball rocketed higher and higher, growing smaller and smaller. It was a dot. A speck. It was . . . gone? They waited, and then waited some more, until . . .
"Where is it?" asked Ash. "Can anyone see it?"
"It can't have broken atmosphere." Quinn shielded her eyes with both hands, trying to spot the projectile. "It must have burned up."
"It got off too easy," huffed Tribore, shaking pink grit off her beret. "Just look at my pants! Wait! Don't! Avert your eyes! Just sympathize from afar."
"Everyone okay?" asked Avocato, and got quiet mutters and coughs in reply. Little Cato hopped to his feet and gave himself a good shake, sending up a cloud of purple dust that delighted Mooncake and made the green blob sneeze.
Gary stared at the new damage to their shelter, dropping back on his heels. His mother clapped him on the shoulder as she went to inspect this latest outrage to the Crimson Light.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Gare. It was already a hulk."
Fox scrambled for a bright side to this. "Now with air conditioning!"
Sheryl smirked. "You rest. I'll see if there's anything to be done. C'mon, HUE."
Avocato plopped down bonelessly next to Gary, and Quinn leaned against him from the other side. They all looked at KVN, who hadn't seemed to realize his forever ball was, in fact, not forever after all and was not coming back. The insanity avoidance robot kept his arms spread in preparation to catch, and his attention was fixed upwards, calling for it to return.
"I hate you," whispered Gary, staring at the yellow robot. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you forever. Why won't you die?"
"We tried, baby," said Avocato, snuggling his head onto Gary's shoulder.
"The hurt," Gary quietly ranted. "The agonizing pain his existence causes me is beyond comprehension. Why won't he die?"
"Maybe next time. I'll distract Fox," promised Quinn, her eyes bright with more emotion than she'd shown since they'd crashed.
They all started and sat up as the planet rumbled again. The aftershock faded quickly, and Avocato snorted, unimpressed with the planet's efforts to kill them, and settled right back down, grumbling, "Who cares?" as he wrapped an arm around Gary's back.
Gary and Quinn followed Avocato's example, nestling together for warmth and comfort. A friend sandwich. And despite horrible food and earthquakes and KVN and everything, he could not help but smile.