CW: Self Harm, Eating Disorders, chapter is very dark.

Author Note: Thank you so much for everyone's reviews, favorites, and follows! Love to hear everyone's thoughts :)

Chapter 2

The Search

"Do we have any food?" Aang asked, his voice thick with sleep. Katara wrapped up in her thoughts jumped slightly. The boy had been slumped against her back most of the afternoon. As they rode through the monotonous landscape, his light snores had accompanied her reflection of the last few hours. So many revelations and questions needed to be processed.

Pops and crackles of the boy's joints sounded behind her as he stretched, and brought her back to the present. They had been riding for hours without pause. Fear pushing them to gain as much ground as possible. Kayi, the village's only polar bear dog, tongue swung thickly out of her mouth and the sky was dimming. Soon it would be impossible to navigate these unknown woods.

"There's a little in the bag, but we should stop first." Katara replied, scanning the trees for a suitable place to make camp. The child's stomach growled but he didn't complain. Ahead, there was a small babbling creek only partially frozen by the winter. That was as good a place as any. The waterbender stopped the polar bear dog and dismounted hard. Momentary pain radiated up her legs at the impact. She had expected a thick layer of snow to cushion the jump, but only a dusting was on the forest floor. Aang gracefully got off - it was as if air briefly suspended above the ground before he gently landed. That's impossible, right?

"Can you take Kayi to the creek for a drink?" The waterbender asked, unbuckling the small travel bag and blanket rolls from the worn saddle. Aang nodded excited, despite the evident tiredness under his eyes, and he kindly took the polar bear dog by the reins. The animal licked the nomad's cheek and followed without hesitation.

Katara was at a bit of a loss on how to set up camp among the trees. When she was younger, she had accompanied her father and brother multiple times to the sacred hunting grounds in the South Pole. There, among the snow, they built a temporary shelter from the ice. However, this far north that wasn't an option and she didn't have time to grab the tent Gran Gran had set aside for them.

Gran Gran.

Her sweaty palm scrubbed over her face at the thought of her family. I can't believe I left Sokka. She shoved down the shame into the ever-present knot in her stomach, and buried herself in work. There was an alcove of trees she decided would suffice for a campsite - then began brushing the snow to make a bare patch of earth. The dead grass underneath was wet. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her element. A hum grew in her chest and she began to pull the water from the ground. The water formed a loose ball, and Katara's muscles shook with effort. Before the exertion became too much, she bent the liquid a few meters away from the campsite. With a splash the water released onto the snow.

Heat rushed to her cheeks as she looked down at her shaking hands. Before today, the waterbender hadn't known she could bend without the full moon. Yet, something unlocked in her, as the Fire Temple Prince had pursued them through the woods. She had prayed feverishly to her goddess, as his terrifyingly stony, face grew closer. She remembered instinctually whipping her arm out and water just came to her. No concentration needed. It zapped a lot of her energy to bend in the daylight, but she assumed with more practice it would grow easier.

The Air Nomad bounded up to the campsite with Kayi padding close behind. Slowly the polar bear dog circled the cleared patch of land then collapsed in exhaustion. Aang, unprompted, began to release the animal of it's saddle and reins. He soothingly hummed as he moved around Kayi. With her big snout, she nuzzled the boy affectionately once free.

"You're really good with animals." Katara stated, as she laid out a big, wooly blue and black blanket on the ground - close enough to Kayi that the two could cuddle against her for warmth during the night.

Aang stroked the soft white fur of the polar bear dog's head. "I guess so? It was my job to watch after the animals in the camp."

"What kind of animals did you have?" Katara asked, trying to get the child to get comfortable sharing with her. The boy had been reluctant to give any information when they took him in the night before. Gran Gran had told her and Sokka not to push, saying he would share with time. However, with the presence of Prince Zuko the day after Aang's arrival, it now felt imperative that the boy share what he knew.

"We had winged lemurs and eel hounds. But my favorite were the flying bison." His eyes glimmered. Katara offered him a smile and dug through their pack. At the bottom were maybe a week worth of rations and some seal jerky for Kayi. We'll have to go into town soon.

"I've only heard about air bison through stories. Can you tell me about them?" She offered the boy some dried cranberries and nuts. Which he preceded to shove in his mouth in one handful.

Still chewing, he launched into a long tale about some shenanigans him and his friend, Bumi, pulled in the stables - as opposed to telling her about the bison themselves. Katara couldn't keep up with all the details of the boy's ramblings, but nodded and laughed nonetheless. He was an excitable kid and his wide smile was contagious. "But yeah, I tried to escape the camp on an air bison, but it turns out the soldiers clip their tails so they can't fly." Aang said, ending his story. Then, as if realizing the implications of what he said, the boy drew up his knees and his face went deadpanned.

"Aang, I know you don't want to talk about it… but why did you have to leave?"

The boy shook his head. His eyes glassy.

Anger flared up in Katara. "Listen, I've likely lost my brother and grandmother because I helped you escape. Now I'm probably wanted myself. So I need to know why you are so valuable to the Fire Temple?"

Heavy silence filled the air between them. Tightness constricted her chest.

"I'm sorry," Katara apologized, letting out a breath, "It's been a hellish day."

Aang moved to cuddle Kayi, who was now sleeping. His face disappeared into her long fur and he began talking. "When I was really small I figured out I could bend air," he started, his voice muffled. The waterbender's eyebrows shot up, but remained quiet. "My parents always told me to hide it. I didn't know why. Until…" his shoulder's started shaking, "until, I got careless one day and showed Bumi a new trick I learned. It was so stupid. I was just riding a ball of air, but two soldiers saw me. I was just having fun." He looked up at her, his face red with tears. "They grabbed me and took me home. I didn't know what was going on… but they started shouting at my mom. Then… then they started beating her. That's when I blacked out. Next thing I remember is the soldiers on the ground and my mom yelling at me to run."

"Aang, I'm so sorry…"

"I guess whatever I did to the men was loud. More soldiers got to my home. I… I didn't know where to go so I just ran and ran. I used airbending to get me over the wall around the camp, and I think more people saw me. I don't know though… It happened so fast." More tears poured down his cheeks.

Katara was at a loss. Considering her abilities, she shouldn't have been surprised at Aang's story or that he could air bend. However, the tale of the Air Nomads and the execution of the air benders was one told in the most remote parts of the empire. Supposedly, the air benders had resisted the advances of the Earth Kingdom and the Temple of Fire the longest - but because of their defiance, they had been dealt with brutally. All benders were captured and sentenced to a brutal death - or so the story goes. It was told more as a cautionary tale to scare people from rebellion, then a historical account. But what is fact and what is fiction anymore?

Small sniffles began to subside as the boy descended into sleep. Katara's joints popped as she rose and placed the only spare blanket they had over his tiny body. As if the gesture could assuage her guilt of ending the night on this sour note. With a sigh she tilted her head back, and looked up to the almost full moon. It's light, the only thing keeping the forest from plunging into complete darkness. The breeze was cool and the unfamiliar woods felt unfriendly. She wished she could safely make a fire, but there wasn't enough space between them and the Prince. Prince Zuko…

~Yih~ Her goddess wistfully said, as the memory of the Prince in the clearing crossed her mind. There had been a moment when his face relaxed and she had an unfounded longing to embrace him. She had wanted to lash out against him so badly. Yet, this deep seeded pinning that was not her own, stopped her. It was unsettling. Who is Yih, goddess?

~Yih is my other half~

What do you mean? But her goddess did not answer.

Mild pain radiated from her temples. All these crypt answers and snippets of truth frustrated her - it meant she was operating with only half the picture. She wanted to curse the moon, but stop short. Nothing good would come from disrespecting her goddess.

Instead, she dug around in the travel bag and found the old, crinkled map Gran Gran had packed. The glow of the moonlight illuminated the fading outlines of the empire and small black dots notated cities and towns. Before the attack on the village, the plan had been for her and Sokka to deliver Aang to her father on Kyoshi Island. The older woman had assured the three of them that Hakoda would be able to help the Air Nomad; however, hadn't elaborated further. It was another point of frustration in this half truth Katara was trying to figure out. She had always been told her father was out of town on business, trading seal skins and making contracts for lumber. Now he was in a position to help a runaway Airbender? Hopefully, her questions would be answered soon.

Her finger traced the rough parchment - approximating where were to the Islands. According to the map legend, it would easily be a week of travel and that would be moving full speed on Kayi. On foot, the trip would likely be three weeks. Katara glanced at the furry creature curled around Aang with a pinch of guilt - they would likely have to drop her off over the next couple days. Domesticated polar bear dogs were illegal and likely to draw suspicion. Maybe they could just stick to the outskirts of towns and not raise questions.

Quietly, she rolled the map back up and tucked it away. The weight of fatigue hit her fully, and she laid on her back. Goddess, please keep us safe.

The moon stood on guard while the waterbender fell into sleep.

...

Pinks and purples drenched the sky as dawn broke. Thirteen weary Water Tribes members staggered into the small Earth Kingdom Village. All able adults were bound with course rope at the wrists and tied together - pulled forward by a soldier on a leopard-caribou. The village elder and four children, with their puffy faces, had been similarly bound and thrown into the convoy's one carriage. The trip that had taken the soldiers and clergy five hours, took the bloated caravan almost three times as long. The warrior that had protected the two benders, was singularly gagged and bound to Zuko's saddle. Blood welled at his raw wrists where he had twisted against his restraints.

Even though it was the edge of daybreak, villagers came into the street, standing in front of their pitiful, plaster and stone houses. Their eyes followed the prisoners. Gasps and murmurs trickled through the crowd when they saw the children in the carriage. Zuko pulled down his hood, his chin raised. The eyes turned to scrutinize him. Let them fear me. The more people are scared of me, the sooner I can go home. However, the irony of destroying another's home so he could finally reach his, wasn't lost on him. On the trail, a band of tension constricted his chest every time his Uncle offhandedly said they could return the prisoners to the village - suggesting a simple reprimand could have been enough. The prince had kept his eyes fixed to the snowy road every time Iroh had approached him. After the third attempt, the old man stopped talking to him altogether.

Protocol dictated the harsh treatment to those who opposed the Crown and Temple. Who was he to challenge the law of the Temple Father?

Blood flow needled his legs as he dismounted from the leopard caribou. His eyes scanned the faces of the Water Tribe prisoners. Fear had been replaced by deep creases of exhaustion - all eyes downcast accept for one. The young mother, of whose house he burned, eyes continued to flick over to her daughters in the carriage then back at Zuko. Fine lines of worry feathered out from the corners. He held her bloodshot stare for a moment. You caused this, you shit. He averted his gaze.

"Get them water and bread." He ordered to no one in particular. Regardless, multiple soldiers and villagers jumped to fulfill his request. They'll be more comfortable in carriages. Rolling his shoulders back, he addressed his second in command, "Exchange the leopard caribous for our eel hounds and round up as many carriages as possible. I want to be back on the road in 30 minutes." The man sharply bowed and jogged to the stable at the end of the street.

"Good idea nephew. They'll be much more comfortable." Iroh said - the first words he had spoken in hours. His eyes now kind.

"It will be faster." Zuko replied curtly, turning his back to the old man stretching. He began unbuckling his personal rucksack from the saddle - when a private approached the warrior, still gagged and bound, with a meager portion of bread. The prisoner's eyes glistened at the prospect of food, but Zuko's hand shot up. "No, none for him." Muffled curses came from the captive's mouth as his face grew red. Blood dripped down his hands as he twisted against the ropes. The Prince looked at the bewildered private. "Tighten his gag."

The soldier's eyebrows furrowed together, but followed the order. A wheeze escaped the prisoner as the fabric was tightened around his mouth. The man had been a pain in Zuko's ass since he rode back from the clearing to collect him. Even with an injured arm, the warrior spit, cursed, and kicked as he was bound and thrown unceremoniously onto the back of the snow leopard caribou. Zuko hadn't gagged him initially. However, the man's colorful curses and jabs at his manhood coupled with the unwillingness to answer questions about the benders, had grown tiresome. The Prince didn't really care about the insults to his masculinity - people had called him far worse - but two hours of non stop jabbering, that interrupted his thoughts, irritated him. While on the trail, he had ripped the fabric to wrestle over the man's mouth. In retaliation, the Water Tribe warrior had clamped down on the fleshy part between the thumb and pointer finger.

Zuko stared down at the torn hem of his sleeve and the nasty, pink bite mark on his hand. He'll pay for that later.

"Sir." The Prince looked up to see his lieutenant with his eel hound. The well trained creature stooped as shown as Zuko approached. It's long, green tail lazily moving in excitement. With a shove, he forced the Water Tribe warrior over the hound then tied his hands to the leather saddle. More blood dripped down his hands as the prisoner reared back. Light nausea rolled through Zuko's stomach.

"If you behave, you can ride with me." Zuko stated, deadpanned. "If you do not, I will push you off her back and let the creature drag you in the dirt." The warrior bore his teeth like the savage he was, but clumsily climbed up onto the large saddle. The Prince's shoulder's sagged a centimeter, as the captive obeyed. He hoped he wouldn't need to make good on that threat. Destruction of property was one thing, but needless violence - that never sat well with him.

Turning around he surveyed his team. Eel hounds twitched ready to run and the Water Tribe villagers were loaded into mismatched carriages - no doubt rounded up from the local families. Even though morning light now illuminated everything, the local townspeople had retreated back into their houses and gray snow lined the street. Zuko climbed aboard his hound. Even with the extra man crowding him, he felt more in control with the sleek beast. With a sharp kick to the side they were off at top speeds.

The caravan rode hard for the entire morning. Greens and whites of the landscape merely blurred in their periphery. Positioned at the front of the convoy, two flag bearers held red and black 'Crown and Temple' banners. Time was never lost, because the colors signaled for other travelers to move off the road and avert their eyes. Thoughts of the two bender's occupied Zuko's mind on the road. The blue eyes of the waterbender always lurked on the edges of the thoughts. Judging him as a strategy began to form to track the two down.

By high noon, the convoy entered a bustling town. They were far enough North that snow no longer blanketed the well constructed, brick buildings or obscured the cobblestone streets. Men in black military uniforms crowded the shops for lunch. Zuko pulled his hood down over his scar. The town serviced the soldiers stationed in the nearby Reeducation Camp, and he didn't need the unwanted attention. Further down the street, black spires of the town's Fire Temple glinted in the sun. With a wave of the hand, he halted the caravan. His lieutenant moved until their hounds were side-by-side, waiting for an order.

"Lieutenant, find lunch for the tribespeople and keep an eye on this one." Zuko commanded, elbowing the warrior at his back. Not waiting for an answer, he jumped off and quickly walked to the temple. No care for if Uncle or the other clergy followed. He was almost late for afternoon prayers - again.

Crossing the threshold into the temple from the street was surreal. The building had been constructed so all street sound immediately ceased once you stepped inside. Candles set at three specific points was the only source of light in the windowless room made entirely of black marble. Sandalwood incense saturated the air and caused a thick layer of smoke. At the front of the temple, draped in fine, gold robes, kneeled the local priest. Zuko removed his hood and moved past the rows of red prayer cushions. Footsteps echoed, amplified by the vaulted ceiling, causing the priest to whip his head around startled.

"Prince… Prince Zuko?" The holy man asked, blinking rapidly.

Zuko didn't need to answer that question. "Do you have a private prayer room?"

The priest blinked again, then nodded - scrambling to his feet. "Yes, right this way." The stout man led the firebender through a narrow hallway, then gestured to a polished, wooden door. His head bowed in respect. Zuko said nothing as he entered. Shutting the door, he let his forehead fall against the cool wood. It grounded him as the weight of two weeks without anytime alone - snapped him in half. His chest constricted and his breath quickened. Tears threatened to reveal his weakness, but he squeezed his eyes and inhaled. After a moment, he turned around.

The tomb-like space was devoid of color except for the red and gold Temple of Fire emblem inlaid into the wall's black marble. Beneath the representation of fire, sat three, half melted candles - representing the flames of principle. Honor. Duty. Obedience. Zuko kneeled in front of the wax, forgoing the red cushion, so the hard floor would make his knees ache. With efficiency, he lit each candle with a flick of his index finger. Then he deviated from ritual.

It was the only deviation he allowed in the prescribed ceremony. He shed his dusty travel robe. Bare arms, covered in hand shaped welts, shivered in the drafty room.

Burning Yih, bringer of day, I cower before you. Lower than low. On the word low, Zuko brought his hands to either arm and forced his body to hover between bending fire and not. His hands burned without actual flame and his arms jolted with the familiar pain. Yih, I beg you, grant me one more day of mercy. He increased the heat and his voice grew strained. You are great and I am weak…

At fourteen, while laying in front of his home's altar with bruised sides and a slash across his cheek, he had started this personal practice. Emotions his teenage self couldn't handle, grew into this physical manifestation and the burn became a twisted comfort.

His hands squeezed his biceps. I am not worthy of your gift.

Who spoke that lie to you?

Zuko froze at the question. His hands went cold, but pain still radiated from the sight of the touch. It's not…

Why do you harm yourself in my name?

He stood up at the second question. Not bothering to finish the prayers. Raw skin blistered at the touch of his travel robe, as he shoved his arms through the sleeves. He rushed out into the empty hallway and hurried to the main entrance, ignoring the priest asking if everything was okay. Ringing rose in his ears as he stood in the street. Breath. A warm hand landed on his shoulder. His body jerked at the touch.

"Nephew," Iroh said, moving into view. He was holding a chunk of thick crusted bread and a cup of tea in one of his large palms. "You look pale. You should eat."

"I do not eat until evening."

"You're so disciplined Zuko, but I know you didn't eat last night." The older man replied, pushing the warm ceramic cup into his hand. "And it is hard to lead if you don't take care of yourself." The soft smell of jasmine caused his mouth to water. He took the smallest sip of the smooth liquid. It was a fine blend. He drank more and took the bread from his Uncle. Thick crust crunched and gave way to a soft, fluffy interior. It was truly a mystery how the older man could locate the finest foods in every location they visited.

As he ate, the band of tension starting at the base of his skull began to dissipate and heat came to his cheeks. "Thank you." He murmured to his Uncle who was enjoying his own portion of bread. The old man smiled, and for a moment, it felt like he was at home - not munching bread awkwardly in the middle of a sidewalk.

He finished and looked around the streets. They were still bursting with villagers and soldiers. However, many of them now shot glances his way. His fingers snaked up to the side of his face, to his rough, uncovered scar. Any warmth that had been there disappeared.

"It is time to go." Zuko stated in a low voice. He made his way to his eel hound, face tight and shoulder tense. Soldiers scrambled around him. Slumped over in the saddle asleep was the warrior with drool covering the left side of his face. The firebender roughly shook his shoulder. His bleary eyes opened. "Move over." The man shifted to the back of the saddle. Zuko swung his leg over the hound and commanded the beast to run forward. Flustered soldiers and clergy followed at a pace behind.

Within minutes the town disappeared behind them and the high, earth bender made walls of the camp appeared. The large, red words of "REEDUCATION CAMP" were painted on the dark, earthen exterior. Even with the gag, the warrior gasped at the sight. The camp's reputation was one of filth and hard labor. However, Zuko knew it was a necessary evil for maintaining order within the empire. They approached the entrance guarded by two firebenders and two earthbenders standing at attention. Eyes wide as Zuko approached.

"I have thirteen Water Tribe villagers for processing."