Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever owned the rights to 911 or its characters. It all belongs to Fox TV and the show's creators like Brad Falchuk, Ryan Murphy and whoever else.

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Chapter 2

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Buck let out a deep breath and finally let go of his steering wheel that he had been clutching at for the last few minutes. Steadying his nerves, the young man climbed out of his jeep and pulled his duffel bag out with him. After he had shut the car door, he turned and gazed at Firehouse 118 as it loomed over him. Feeling bitter apprehension going into work was nothing new for Buck, it had been the case every since he came back to work after the whole lawsuit debacle. Now though, his apprehension was not about the wave of disdain and anger that usually came his way whenever he stepped into the station, now he was wondering what he would face now that the truth was out.

The truth that he had been ordered by the LAFD brass to actually file the lawsuit as a means of distracting Chase Mackey while internal affairs and LAPD built their case against him.

Chief Miranda Williams had come to the firehouse and revealed all last week, giving him the whole week off while she had brought down the proverbial hammer on Bobby and the whole of the 118. Buck had spent that week off staying with Christopher... and Eddie by default. Eddie may have promised that he would fix things, and Buck had assured him that he did believe him... that didn't magically wash away the months and months of hurt they had all caused Buck in one way or another.

Now his week off was up and Buck had to report to work... without his team since they were all still serving out the suspensions Chief Williams had doled out to them for their behavior. Bobby, Hen, and Chim had all tried to reach out, even Eddie had tried to talk but Buck just was not ready to even begin to address all the issues they had between all of them. Buck had just wanted to rest and be with Christopher, the little boy who was literally like a God-given balm to his wounded heart and soul. Things with Eddie were awkward, but ok and the latter had dived headfirst into actually making amends and getting help for his anger. From whatever snippets he got from Maddie, who was still royally pissed at Chim and the others on Buck's behalf, Bobby, Hen, and Chim were also diving back into therapy and also dedicated to the mandatory leadership and sensitivity classes the higher ups had ordered them all to attend and pass before they would be allowed back, even once their suspensions were up.

Buck quickly shook himself of his musings and stepped forward towards the firehouse, not wanting to end up late because he was caught up thinking too deeply on things that were only just starting to get mended. Adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder, Buck sighed and stepped over the threshold into the fire truck and ambulance rig bay. At first there was nothing as Buck walked, but within a few steps the blue eyes man felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck as multiple eyes zeroed in on him and the entire station seemed to go still.

Buck ducked his head, avoided any and all gazes sent his way and ducked into the blessedly empty locker room. When he had first returned to work this past Halloween, it had been to cold stares and a general disinterest, everyone going about their shift without a care of his return, working out, chatting, even playing ping-pong. There was no welcome back banner, no cake save for Hen's bleeding cupcake, and just barely veiled disdain from all over at having to suffer his presence. Now Buck could feel so many eyes hyper focused on him as he changed and got ready for his shift, so much eagerness at his presence in the air that honestly made Buck want to just drop everything and go back to his cold and lonely loft, maybe even hide under the bed.

Inevitably, Buck did the last button on his uniform and rolled up his sleeves to his elbows before he stepped out of the locker room.

" Hey Buckley, welcome back." Came a voice from the ambulance rig.

Buck paused and turned to see one of the B-shift paramedics, smiling at him warmly.

" Thanks Mays." He said with a slightly forced smile.

The paramedic's own smile dimmed a little, regret and sadness overtaking her features as she nodded and then went back to her inventorying.

As he made his way up to the loft, there were more of such greetings, the 'Good morning Buckley's the 'Good to see you back Buck's and the awkward yet warm smiles and looks. If this had happened two weeks earlier Buck would have been sobbing with joy, now he honestly didn't know whether to fly into a rage or just curl up on the floor and cry in open despair.

All these pleasantries because now they knew the truth about all he had been willing to sacrifice to keep this house and his team safe from Chase Mackey's ill machinations, but what about before? What about all the hateful looks and disdainful whispers behind his back and sometimes spoken loud and clear directly to his face?

As he reached the top of the stares, the entire loft fell silent. Buck opened his mouth to maybe say good morning but it died in his lips as everyone occupying the loft collectively rose to their feet and again as one, started clapping loud and hard. Buck stood stunned, his heart flip-flopping inside his chest. Buck couldn't really dwell on the unexpected display as a tall, muscular black man, whom Buck recognized as Captain Henry Mills from 208, approached him from the kitchen with a smile on his face.

" Good morning Fire Fighter Buckley and welcome home." The man said as he held out his hand.

" T-Thank you Captain Mills." Buck said as he took the offered hand and felt his face head up a little at the many looks of admiration and also regret being sent his way.

" Go have a seat at the table, I may not be as good a chef as Captain Nash but I make a pretty decent omelette, everyone's been dying to catch up with you." Captain Mills said as he gestured for Buck to head over to the dining table.

Buck felt his throat tightening up painfully so he could only nod as Captain Mills made his way back to the kitchen and Buck forced himself to walk normally towards the table where the other firefighters were waiting. He made the obligatory greetings and sat down near the middle of the table. It was only a few moments before the first wave of contrite looks and apologies began. As Buck graciously accepted the words of regret and promises to be better, and the heartfelt thanks for protecting the station and the many livelihoods that depended on it operating, he felt this lance of deep pain course through him, this ache and yearning because while he was surrounded by many grateful remorseful fellow fire fighters, he didn't have his core team, his family.

Chim might be back next week, but the house would be incomplete without Hen, Eddie, and Bobby.

Buck just hated having to wait, yet on the flip-side part of him was still hurt and furious at all four of his family members.

The lawsuit may have been fake, but their attitude and behavior had not been. They were sorry now that Chief Williams had opened their eyes, but it left Buck with a bitter taste in his mouth that Bobby and the others would have happily gone along treating him like an outsider, shunning him both at work and in their personal lives had they not been made aware. Buck was shaken from his musings as Captain Mills called him over to take the plate he had made up for him.

Feeling a small but genuine smile come to his lips, Buck got up and trotted over. He shoved all thoughts of Bobby, Hen, Chim, and Eddie to the back of his mind and instead focused on actually enjoying his breakfast and catching up with his fellow fire fighters. After breakfast Buck found himself curiously or maybe not so curiously tasks with none of the cleaning chores and had been assigned to simple inventory. No doubt Chief Williams' scalding words about how Buck had been tasked with all the nastiest chores while at risk while on blood thinners but purposely kept of calls for the same reason had reached even Captain Mills' ears.

Just an hour later the emergency horns were sounding. Buck hesitated, months and months of being left behind still ingrained in him until Captain Mills' sharp voice shot through the air.

" Get moving Buckley we haven't got all day." He called without any heat and warmth in his eyes.

" Yes Captain!" Buck yelled back, swallowing back the powerful emotions that rose up inside him as he took off running down the stairs to the gear alcove, a grin finally coming to his face as he set about donning his turn-out gear as fast as he could before dashing off to join his fellow firefighters in the truck.

It may not have been perfect, he didn't have his captain and immediate team with him, he wouldn't have them fully for several months in fact but as the truck pulled out of the firehouse to heed the call to help, Buck felt a brightness and hope fill him fully for the first time in a really long while.

He was going out on a call after months of being left behind, he was back doing what he loved, and such a feeling was more sublime and glorious than he could ever describe.

One week and some days later...

Howard "Chimney" Han sighed as he did up the lace to his shoe before standing up and smoothing out his uniform.

He was back to work at the 118 after having served his suspension. The moment he had stepped into the station just a few minutes ago his heart had given a painful lurch at the sight of everyone going about their duties, cleaning the rigs or inventorying, working out or just hanging out. As he had made his way towards the locker room he was met with normal, if somewhat subdued greetings. He felt like there was this collective guilt that still permeated the air and he was the newest reminder of that fateful day when Chief Williams had arrived and had not only torn them all a new one but also temporarily torn them apart.

As he stepped out of the locker room Chim's eyes eagerly sought out the tall and blue eyed individual who had been at the center of the proverbial maelstrom that had hit station. Their collective actions had been what had led to their suspensions, but Buck had been the one to bare it all in sad silence, following his orders to not disclose the truth without fail.

In the two weeks he had had to sit home, tellingly alone since Maddie had blown her lid and gone straight to Buck after he had come clean about why he suddenly had so much free time on his hands, Chim had been forced to re-evaluate and understand that his own inaction was action, that he had left Buck to the wolves by following Bobby's example of holding onto a grudge. He had absolutely abhorred Chase Mackey during the arbitration but now that he looked at things objectively with Chief Williams' own cutting words towards him in particular accompanying those memories, Chimney understood that Mackey, though a bottom feeder, had been right.

He had gotten a freaking piece of rebar through his brain and almost been gutted by a psychopathic abuser not long after that, and he hadn't had to face nearly the same level of interference and difficulty Buck had faced. With a melancholic sigh Chim headed up the stairs to the loft, trying to figure out what he'd say to Buck if he saw him since he didn't see the young man in the gym area.

No sooner had Chim reached the top of the stairs he was greeted by an almost glowing Evan Buckley.

The difference a couple of weeks made was evident to Chim as he gazed at Buck. Gone was the paleness and the air of utter defeat and loneliness. Buck was standing tall, a vibrancy seeming to radiate from him.

" Hey Chim." Buck said quietly with a smile and eagerness in his blue eyes.

Chim parted his lips to greet Buck in turn, but nothing came out as his throat closed up on him and his eyes began to burn. The smile on Buck's face immediately dimmed at Chim's silence and the younger man looked so painfully unsure for a moment before a steely determination came over those bright blue eyes. With a small sigh Buck all but lunged forward, Chim letting out a startled gasp as he was seized in am almost crushing embrace.

" I am not mad at you Howard, you weren't the one who held me back." Buck said quietly against Chim's shoulder.

" But I wasn't there for you like I should've been Buck." Chim said just as quietly once his own voice returned to him, raising his arms and squeezing Buck back just as tightly.

" I know what it is like to be held back, to be left out and I swore I would never allow anyone else in this house to feel that way and look what I did, I didn't stick up for you when Bobby held you back and made you do all the nasty chores, I was to caught up in my own hurt feelings to see that you were being bullied right under my watch. I am so sorry Evan, I am so so sorry." Chim all but sobbed, not caring that they were standing in the loft and no doubt with a full audience in attendance... except when Chim actually opened his tearful eyes he saw that the entire loft had actually emptied out save for Captain Mills who was in the kitchen area cooking and pointedly not paying him and Buck much attention.

" Well then, I accept your apology and don't worry, I'll put in a good word with Maddie. She might be mad as hell but she's missing you just as hard Chim." Buck said as he finally drew back from Chim with his own eyes shining.

Chim let out a watery croak of a laugh before nodding, immediately missing Buck's warmth as the two of them made their way towards the kitchen so Chim could properly introduce himself to Captain Mills. After they had shared some obligatory pleasantries, Captain Mills' dark eyes had grown unforgiving and hard as he very firmly stated that while Chim was finally back from his suspension, he was by no means absolved for his failure to act regarding how Buck had been treated for so many months.

When the horns went off for the first call of the day, Chimney found himself as man behind and with a very long list of chores to keep him occupied while the rest of the crew was out on the call. Chim couldn't complain though if the encouraging smile Buck gave him as he went was anything to go on.

They had plenty more they needed to talk about, but they would be okay...eventually.

Two weeks later...

Henrietta Wilson let out a small sigh as she diligently scrubbed at one of the white porcelain sinks in the lady's bathroom, the yellow cleaning gloves she was wearing squeaking rhythmically with her swiping motions.

Her first day back from suspension had actually been yesterday and while she had been greeted by Chim and the others cordially enough, she had missed the one blue eyed man she had been desperately wanting to talk to in person for the entire month that she had been suspended. Buck had enjoyed the day off with Chris and Eddie and while they had tentatively started speaking on the phone again a week and some days ago, Hen just really wanted to make her meaningful statements to Buck directly.

She'd come in early today and gotten started on her list of chores courtesy of Interim Captain Mills. Now she just had to wait for when Buck finally came in.

This past month had been difficult to say the least. On top of her own shame and remorse for letting Buck and herself down, she also had to face Karen's painful disappointment after she had revealed why she was suspended for a month. Karen had been outraged and so saddened after finding out about Hen's inaction towards Buck and all the ridicule and unfairness he had been facing on his own every since he came back to work that Karen had promptly called up Buck to ask where he was, scooped up Denny, and had hightailed it to Eddie's where they had spent the night catching up with Buck, leaving Hen to her morose solitude. Even after Karen and Denny came back, Hen found herself getting the cold shoulder for several days before she and Karen were finally able to talk things out. While there was still a lingering disappointment in Karen's eyes, they were much better now.

With a smile coming to her lips at the thought of her beloved wife, Hen finished scrubbing and risking the sink before she got to mopping the floors. By the time she was done and wheeling the mop and bucket out of the ladies room, she startled badly with a yelp as a voice came up behind her and took the mop from her hand.

" I got it Hen." Buck said quietly with a warm look, not giving Hen a chance to protest as he pushed the mop and bucket away towards the supply closet.

Hen could only stutter for a second before taking a deep breath to fight back the wave of powerful emotions that rose up inside her at Buck's kind gesture. Hen shuffled over to the supply closet and waited for Buck, the younger man stepping out a few moments later, shutting the door behind him.

" H-Hey Buck." Hen said softly.

" Hi Hen." Buck replied with a smile, but his eyes guarded.

" It's really good to see you Buck." Hen began, fighting hard to meet Buck's gaze.

" I really missed you too Hen." Buck said with a shy smile.

" We really do need to talk, but only if you want to Buckaroo." Hen said, trying to keep the desperate hope out of her voice and only half-succeeding.

Hen felt her heart lurch as Buck's face crumbled for a second, thinking she had just made a serious misstep and upset her dear friend. At her look of askance, Buck shook his head and let out a slightly gruff huff as he spoke.

" I am alright Hen, you didn't do anything wrong. I just... You haven't called me Buckaroo in a really long time Hen." Buck said, ducking his head to hide how overbright his eyes had grown.

Hen felt her own heart split as Buck's words hit her full force and without any quarter.

Not being able to stand it one more moment more, Hen reached out and grabbed Buck by his shoulders, pulling him into a tight, vice-like hug. With a watery laugh Buck returned the embrace wholeheartedly.

" I am so sorry for not sticking up for you like I should have. You are like a brother to me and I just let Bobby and the others keep treating you unfairly." Hen said with tears in her eyes.

" I know Hen, and we'll be ok. How about we head upstairs to some place more quiet and keep talking?" Buck suggested.

" Y-Yeah, maybe bring Chim along so we can all clear the air together?" Hen asked, to which Buck nodded in agreement as they made their way towards the stairs up to the loft.

They found Chimney on one of the couches with a small smile on his face as he gazed down at his phone, no doubt texting with Maddie. True to his word, Buck had persuaded his big sister for finally talk to Chim and sort things out with him. Sure, she was plenty pissed off at how her little brother was treated for months on end but she also felt guilty herself for not seeing that things were so wrong for Buck to begin with. Chim and Buck had both been quick to assure her that she was not to blame, and she and Chim were talking again. Maddie was certain to let Chim know that he would be extra sorry if he let Buck down like that again and that both Buckleys would be done with him and the 118 for good if that ever happened. Chim was bound and determined to never lose either his pseudo-younger brother or the woman who had his heart.

The three of them headed off to a more secluded area where they could speak freely. Hen and Chim started with profuse apologies but Buck quickly quashed that down. He knew that they were sorry, he was mostly sad that it took Chief Williams having to very publicly rip them all a new one for them to even see that there was something else going on. He was hurt that they never tried to see things from his side even though the lawsuit itself was fake.

" Cap never interfered with you guys to the level that he did with me. I may have been reckless before but I think over these last few years I have grown up at least a little bit from that guy who'd steal the firetruck for hookups. The lawsuit might have been part of the higher-ups plan but I had legitimate grounds for it. You know now that I was under orders but even if it had been real, it wouldn't have been some impulsive stunt to hurt Bobby or any of you guys. It would've been my right as a grown man and a member of the LAFD. Both of you experienced similar situations to mine. You had the rebar and the stabbing Chim." Buck said as he gave Chim a sad look before turning to Hen.

" And you cut that guy's chest open without authority and yet Cap let you come back without question. It wasn't fair, I just wanted to come back and then I had this covert sting operation against Chase Mackey land in my lap." Buck sighed.

" I know Buckaroo, I know and I am so sorry for how I treated you, and for how I didn't stand up to Cap. Cap cares about you, he sees so much of himself in you and that is part of the problem. He thought he was keeping you safe by holding you back and giving you more time to heal." Hen explained.

" But Cap should have told you from the beginning, talked to you and respected you like an adult. He sees you like a son, but you're still a grown man and you're right about growing up a lot from the cocky kid you started off as." Chim cut in.

" I miss him and even though I am staying with him and Chris, I miss Eddie too." Buck said quietly.

Chim and Hen could only nod, understanding what Buck meant. Yes there was physically missing Bobby, both professionally at the house and also personally once they were off duty. Bobby had tried to reach out a few times but Buck hadn't been ready, and with his suspension being the longest and his orders to leadership and sensitivity classes being the most packed, their Captain had dived headfirst into healing and bettering himself before he could even begin to bridge the gap he had helped created and exacerbate between himself and Buck. As for Eddie, Hen and Chim got that too, that even though Eddie was probably right there in the same house with Buck and Chris, they may as well have been miles apart emotionally. Eddie was trying not to overstep and Buck still had his walls up, Eddie being the one who hurt him the most after Bobby.

Chris was a soothing presence and source of mutual love between the two of them, but there was still so much left to confront and fix.

" We miss us too Buck, but we'll all be together again soon, and above all else, we'll be better." Hen said with determination in her words, Chim nodding in full agreement.

Buck smiled warmly, feeling hope fill his heart. There was more he wanted to say but just like that the horns sounded and the three of them stood.

" Be safe out there you two." Hen said with a sigh as she hugged both Buck and Chim. In addition to her own cleaning duties, Hen was now the woman behind as per Captain Mills' orders, Chim finally going back into rotation.

" See you when we get back Hen." Buck said with a nod before he and Chim took off running, the two of them electing to use the pole to quickly get down to the ground floor before dashing to the gear alcove.

" Keep an eye on the pot-roast while we're gone Wilson." Captain Mills called up to the loft where Hen was leaning on the rail and trying to keep the longing from showing to much on her face as she watched the ambulance rig take off.

" Yes sir." Hen called back with a nod.

As she watched Captain Mills and Buck climb into the fire truck before it sped off out of the firehouse bay, Hen turned away and went into the kitchen to see how said pot-roast was fairing.

She was back but woman behind on calls for now, small price to pay.