The cab ride to the restaurant was quieter than she would have anticipated it to have been but given the circumstances, she could forgive a slight silence, after all, it had to have been a complete surprise for Edgar to find his date for the evening entirely lost in the embrace of another man. A man who Olivia still did not know if Edgar knew anything about, the rumour mill runs strong and she wouldn't be naive enough to think Edgar hadn't done a little digging into her life.
"Have you been to this restaurant before?" The sudden question from Edgar instantaneously dropped the tension from the cab and Olivia felt her body unwittingly releasing the bated breath she had been holding.
"No, I haven't. I've heard of it before, it always looked nice and well, it was on my list… Look Edgar, I'm sorry I feel like I should explain to you what happened outside of my apartment.."
"No, there's no need, honestly" Edgar holds up his hands as a way of attempting to physically substantiate what he's saying "whatever you have going on there, it's not my business, well not yet anyway. As far as I can see if it was anything I needed to be concerned about you wouldn't be sat here with me now" she feels his dark eyes scanning over her face, hair and neck before he reaches out for her hand, her hand which is elegantly placed over her crossed knees, He takes it in his own and she can't help but smile, it's been so long since someone has looked at like this.
The restaurant was as beautiful as she imagined it would be. The interior design was lavishly decorated, from tasteful works of art purposefully positioned throughout the room, candles lit on each table and the slow tranquil sound of the classical music heightening the mood of the environment. The lighting was set low and the smell that consumed the air was a mixture of beautifully cooked food and a set aroma the restaurant was obviously trying to distinguish themselves with.
They were shown to their table, Edgar forever the gentleman pulled out the chair for Olivia to take a seat before they started discussing the wine menu.
The conversation began with questions over whether they preferred to drink wine or spirits. Both in agreement that wine was best with dinner, but they each were partial to holding a bottle or two at home, spirits were a choice to have on their own or with snacks and they both liked an occasional beer, in casual situations.
The discussions that took over their evening where each deciding on their meal choices, had they eaten certain dishes before and various conversation starters on the hot topics in the headlines at the moment.
Olivia discussed the importance of her work, the changes she was hoping to make and how close she was with her squad.
Edgar discussed his role as a defence attorney and how it had been inbred in him since a child to follow that career path.
When all of the obvious formalities of conversation have been covered they were onto their second bottle of wine and perusing through the dessert menu.
"So Edgar, tell me have you ever been married, have children, what's the story there?" clearly the glasses of wine are starting to dull her inhibitions and she's going straight in for the need to know questions.
"Well, Olivia, Ive been married twice, both women were the stay at home, not working types. Not because of any commitments but simply because they'd rather just spend my money and their days in spas . I don't have any children, unfortunately but I suppose life just… well it was never the right time. Have you ever been married? I already know you have a son, Noah is his name, isn't it?"
"Ahh yes Noah is my baby, well technically he's no longer a baby but he's the light of my life" the obvious smile of admiration shining over her face as she beams about her boy isn't missed on Edgar. "I've never been married, I suppose yeah it just obviously just was never the right time."
She takes another sip of her wine and smiles towards Edgar as the waiter brings over the desserts
"You really are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen Olivia, your smile and laugh are infectious."
She feels his knee gently collide with the bare skin of hers under the table and it sends a tingle of goosebumps all the way up her body, she's certain she just blushed but is currently living in the hopes that her change in color has been developing as a 'wine glow' throughout the evening rather than a new sense of arousal from a slight knee stroke, she's swiftly saved from the impending uneasiness by the waiter, dropping the bill towards Edgar.
The decision to go back to Edgar's apartment was one that was made rather innocently, chemistry had been building all night but when it came down to it, she was enjoying his company more than anything else, he made her feel different to how she's felt in a long time, the feminine energy she was radiating was a fresh change from being Captain, mother, friend and evidently it wasn't going unnoticed. The careful gazes from Edgar she caught wind of only heightened her feelings of self-confidence and she liked it when she caught him making glances over her body during dinner.
Edgar took her hand and pulled her into the apartment, closing the door behind him, the room, noticeably, was beautifully appointed with exactly the kind of décor you would naturally associate with a successful, single man in his 50's. He clearly took a lot of care in the aesthetic of his living space, a lot like he did himself. Throughout dinner she couldn't help but notice just how well presented he was, the elegantly groomed facial hair and tight fitted suit which left little to the imagination, it was apparent just how much working out he must do, for the underneath of his shirt to pull against his chest and shoulders like that, this suit undoubtedly had been tailor made and was very expensive.
Beyond the lowly lit spotlights of the room was one of the most picturesque backdrops Olivia had ever seen, the back of the apartment had replacements of glass where the walls would usually be and the city was glowing in all of its nightlife.
"Wow, Edgar this really is something, this view… it's beautiful"
"Usually I just sit and look-out at the City, watching the flicker of lights and buzz of the place but right now there's something far more spectacular for me to admire" he moves towards her placing his warm, delicate hands on either side of her face. She locks her brown eyes into his and smiles a sign of approval that's she's just as into this as he is. The skim of his lips brushing against hers, allows them both to feel the warmth of each other's caress and the tingles flowing across her skin begin to enhance as he's slowly moving his lips against hers. The momentary intensity stopping only to trace his mouth down her jawline and to place gentle kisses on her neck.
"Shit Olivia, I really want you, I really want this … , his hands pulling away from her face and trailing down her curves, landing on her hips, he gently pushes her back, steering her hips until her back is firmly placed against the glass of the apartment wall. Olivia's gasp of excitement breathes into his mouth as the heat radiates between their adjacent bodies. Her lips reach out and brush against the soft, sensual feeling of his. The hands he has placed on her hips move to securing himself against the glass, she watches him encase her in-between his arms and it causes an involuntary bite to the bottom of her lip
"I really want you too Edgar"
The desire building with each kiss to the neck, if there was ever a spot to bring out her weakness for passionate lust it was the stroke of his lips and slight graze of his teeth against her there. He isn't wasting any time in pressing the full power of his strong, well-built frame against her, the extreme need coming from her body causing a rush of sensitivity pulsates her hips against his inviting him to lean deeper into her, she gently trails her fingertips against the smooth soft skin of his large hands positioned either side of her, before stretching out and gently stroking the hair at the back of his head. This alluring move from her propels him into driving more force behind his kisses, he slips the shoulders of her dress down the sides of her arms and lets his mouth travel down towards her now revealed robust cleavage. Olivia's sensitivity turning more into an aching throb and the…
--Ring Tone, Ring Tone, Ring Tone-
"Just leave it" Edgar's physical position adjusting slightly to let her out of his previous locked encirclement, he obviously can sense the change in her body and knows she will in fact be answering her phone.
"I'm sorry, I have to get it. Noah's on a field trip and that's the ring tone for the school." She hopes the apologetic tone in her voice lets him know she's not just looking for an excuse to bow out because if that phone hadn't rang there would have been no way to put the fire out.
"Olivia, its fine, I get it, quick before it rings off" he's a lot faster to the bench where her bag is than she and he swoops it up passing it to her before she answers
"Olivia Benson, right, ah ha, I see, Ok, so what time will you… oh right in an hour. Ok I get it, Thankyou" the disappointed look on her face and awkward glances between her phone and Edgar are enough to give him the idea that the evening is coming to a pre-emptive end.
"Is everything ok with Noah?"
"Yeah, the Observatory where they are staying has a water leak and for health and safety the kids have to come home. She briefly mentioned rescheduling in a couple of weeks" she leans in to stroke his arm and smiles "I really did, have such a lovely evening Edgar"
"I did too, I'd like to see you again Olivia, I really enjoyed your company and it's been refreshing having some stimulating conversations."
He looks her over once more and brushes the loose curls off her face before leaning in for a short but very satisfactory goodbye kiss.
"I'd like to see you again too, my uber is about 7 minutes out, so I better head downstairs" she smooths out her lips to make sure there's no stray lipstick across her face, she wouldn't want to give any passer-by's in the lobby a clue as to what she'd been visiting Mr Goodwin for.
"I'll walk you down and wait with you" Edgar closes the door and smoothly takes hold of her hand as they walk.
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"Oh sweet boy, come here. I know it's disappointing but think of it this way, you get to go away in two weeks and do the whole thing all over again. That's good isn't it?" Olivia hugs onto her son and comfortingly strokes the dark curls on his head.
"I know mom but I wanted to stay over we had just fell asleep and we all agreed we were gonna wake super early and scare the girls in their room"
"hmmmmm Noah, maybe that wouldn't have been the best plan, you would have gotten into trouble and I would had to have been picking you up all over again" the tickling from her into his side sending an eruption of giggles from both of them
"Ok, now bed its super late and you have to sleep, you have a big day with Lucy tomorrow"
"aww but I don't wanna go with Lucy, please mom, please can I stay with you"
"Noah, sweetheart, you know I have to work but I'm going to finish a little early and we can go out for dinner."
"Yeahhh, ok mom. Come tuck me in"
The next morning Olivia awoke with a fuzzy headache. Maybe a little too much wine last night or maybe a little too much pent up sexual tension teasing to be eased more like but either way nothing, some water and a short shift at the precinct wouldn't fix. She'd made plans with Noah tonight and that was something she was really looking forward to, she hated seeing his disappointed face last night when she picked him up in the cab. She'd walked into the school car park to greet Noah's bus straight from her date with Edgar and there was a clear distinction amongst the staff and Noah that they didn't usually see her dressed this way. After Noah's teacher apologised for interrupting her night and she reassured her that it was obviously, quite alright she then had to spend the entire cab ride back home deflecting the range of curious questions from Noah.
Where had she been?
Who was she with?
Why was she wearing a dress?
What did she eat?
Why was she out?
This chain of questioning continued until she was able to distract the child with asking about his trip, a tactic she soon regretted when the realisation that he was on his way home and without his friends had set in.
Olivia was ready for work and Noah was all set and ready for his day out with Lucy when her text tone went off. Applying her glasses and taking out her phone she can't help but smile
Hey,Last night was amazing.When can I see you again?
She types her response out wondering when she could next arrange a date to meet Edgar. She contemplates asking Lucy when she arrives if she can take Noah for an extra night but the poor girl had already changed her plans with friends to accommodate having Noah today so she couldn't ask her again so soon.
It really was amazing,Thanks again for dinner, you really didn't have to insist on paying. Next time it's on me.My next day off isn't until Friday?
Message sent, she was just about to place the phone back into her bag when the text chime rang out again
"That was quick" she accidently spoke out loud, thankfully little enquiring ears were not close enough to hear, she'd had enough personal questions from last night.
If you insist, Captain.Are you really going to make me wait 5 days?Would brunch suit you?
The flush of rosiness flooding her cheeks at being called Captain in a provocative manner rather than a professional one would be something she would need to shake off, before she has to hear it multiple times today at work.
Yes, brunch sounds perfect1030am?
That would give her enough time to drop Noah off at school and run a quick errand or two before the date. She heard the text chime go off a couple more times between saying goodbye to Noah then Lucy and making her way into her office but the hustle and bustle of the commute and Amanda and Fin diving straight in with an update on this morning's latest rape victim took precedent over checking her phone.
The rest of the day filtered through as a usual day at SVU. Sonny had come in to check the victims' account of the awful incident and Amanda and Fin were interviewing the suspect who she had just identified as her assailant. The case seemed straightforward and Olivia was pleased to be able to wrap it up within the day. She took comfort in being able to provide the young girl with the knowledge that today's work was enough to get her attacker off the streets and when the poor girl broke down in front of her, distraught about her life being ruined and how it would never be the same, Olivia couldn't help herself but to offer her confidence and optimism. Just as she had told many victims before she was strong and she had gone through the toughest part already, she re-told her story countless times to complete strangers, put all of her vulnerabilities and raw emotions out there for all to see and as a result they caught the guy. Olivia elusively discussed her own feelings of dealing with trauma and assured the young girl that she will be fine in time and that this incident does not define her.
Olivia left her office for a quick refill of coffee before filling in some paperwork, the usual banter of the squad was in full swing. Kat was goading Carisi into some form of debate, if previous situations prevailed it would end with them both digging in their heels and desperately trying to prove their own point to one another. Amanda was loosely trying to join in but by now she knew when and when not to have any involvement when these two started to 'get into it' and Fin was sat back in his chair, shaking his head and mumbling something about the way this always ends.
The vibration of her phone in her pocket quickly reminds her of the unread messages she had received from Edgar earlier.
She scrolls straight to his messages. 1 text and 1 picture message.
Her heart instantly skips a beat, a picture message, she's blushing just at the thought of opening it.
1030 Friday, it's a date.Can't stop thinking of you and last night.--media text message--
"Liv, Liv, everything ok?" Carisi shouts over to the coffee machine
"Sonny...yes of course, why?" It was difficult to distinguish between the two who was more embarrassed when Sonny realised that the look of surprise across his Captain's face was clearly one of a personal nature rather than anything to do with the case.
"Sorry Liv, i didn't realise that you erm, erm"
"Just leave it alone kid" the satisfactory look spreads across Fin's face as he watches the awkwardness widen over both of them.
"All I'm sayin Liv…..is good for you" he finishes off his sentence.
"Ok guys, come on... that's enough. I need to finish off some paperwork and then Im outta here"
Olivia shuts the office door behind her and sits down in her chair. The response to this message needed to be well thought out, as far as she can recall she had never received a photo message of a shirtless man, obviously post workout, if the perspiration was anything to go by, stood in front of the glass wall she had so intimately been pressed up against last night with the words
Thinking of you (flame emoji)
After some flushed thinking and and an inner debate as to whether she was going to fess up entirely, and tell him how she actually wanted the evening to have played out or whether she would restrain herself and 'play it cool' she began typing
Yes, it was a very nice evening
erase --
You have no idea what I wanted you to do to me up against that glass (winking emoji)
erase--
Im looking forwar
erase--
She dropped her phone into her bag, retrieved her coat and headed for the door, this was a 'new world' and a lot had changed since she was last on the dating scene.
"Night everyone, don't stay too late and I'll see you all in the morning"
she waved goodbye as always, then stood briefly observing the team in pearls of playful laughter together. What has she got to lose she thought as she took out her phone and typed
To be continued?…..
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The following day was relatively quiet, for once the criminals must have taken some flexi time
and let the NYPD have a quieter sunday
Knock Knock Knock
"Come in Kat"
Olivia shouts towards the door and peers over her glasses
"Captain, there's someone here to see you, its Detective Stabler"
Quickly realising she didn't text him yesterday she jumps up from her desk
"Shit" she accidently whispers aloud, thought speech is becoming a bit of a habit she thinks
"Send him in please Kat"
"Sure thing Boss"
Olivia can hear Kat telling him to head straight in and just like that, there he was again, stood in her office. Memories surging through her as she remembers the tense conversation and the emotional hold at the end of it, the hold that she'd pine'd to have as just hers, for many years previous. The hold where she felt safe, the hold that was so familiar but also so distant because no matter what, it always belonged to a married man. It always belonged to a man who at the end of the day would always go home to his wife and his children, a man who knew no matter what, Olivia would be there for him, waiting for him, and she was, for so many years- she was, she waited for his call, she waited for him to just show up one day, hold her like that and tell her how he much he missed her and how he was sorry for abandoning her. She had learned to live as just his friend, his partner and to some extent she had convinced herself that that was enough, having some of him in her life was better than none and not everyone can have everything perfectly how they want it. She was certain Kathy hadnt had everything she wanted, she loved Elliot, she had Elliot, they were married with kids but in the end she hadn't signed up for his long hours, the single handley attending the kids constant activities alone or him arriving late/leaving early to events. She certainly had not signed on for him working with a partner who according to his mother 'scares the pants off of Kathy' so yes, not everyone can have everything they wholeheartedly want, not even the wife of the man she wholeheartedly wanted.
"Elliot, is everything ok?"
He breezes in, closing the door behind him with a look of gratification in his eyes, approvingly looking over the contents of her office he picks up the Captain Olivia Benson plaque on her desk.
"I knew you'd make Captain one day Liv, I'm so proud of you."
realising from the look she just shot across to him, he hasn't answered her question.
"Yes, everything's fine, I've been working with a new unit for a while now and its going well. Me, the kids, we are all settling into being back in New York and are starting to get a routine"
"That's great El, I'm really happy for you. I am always here for you, you know that" she offers him a sympathetic smile and he moves in closer towards her
"Liv, we really need to talk, there's things I need to discuss with you, some things you don't know about and I want you to find out from me rather than anyone else, we're back in the city now and there may be a chance you will hear"
"What are you talking about El? there's a lot of things I don't know about, not just some! I know things are difficult for you at the moment and I am here for you, again you know that" she takes his hands into hers in an attempt to reinforce the sincerity of her words to him.
"There's just a lot i feel like I need to process about us El and there's a lot you need to process about you and I feel like I can't handle this right now, I suppose what I'm trying to say is, I'm here for you, for you, for anything you need but I can't, I just can't yet open that box and discuss you leaving or discuss my life when you were gone. I need you to heal and"
Elliot pulls his hands from underneath hers and waves them in the air, he doesn't miss the almost bloodshot, puffiness of her eyes, and he knows the inner turmoil this is causing her, he knew all those years ago that she loved him as he did her
"Liv, I respect that, I do. You know I will always respect you with everything you ask of me and if you can't talk about us...yet. I get that. Maybe we can restart? I need my friend right now Liv and you and the kids are all Ive got"
The sadness growing in his voice as his tone is almost pleading with her, that last sentence causes a twist in her chest and it reminds her of times many years ago.
"El…"
"No Liv, wait, hear me out, it's not about us. Kathy and I….. we weren't together for the last few years. We were just trying to do right by the kids. I loved her and I always will, she was the mother of my children but she wasnt y.."
"Elliot, please, I said I can't process any of this yet, I need some time and you need some time."
She backs entirely away from him so that she's now leaning against the handle of her office.
"Ok, I just wanted you to know that, I wanted you to know and if, hopefully when you feel like you're ready to talk, well... I owe you a lot of answers. I'm leaving tomorrow for a week or two but you have my number?"
"I have your number El" an unsubstantial pfft of laughter creating some common ground between the two at the obvious acknowledgement to Elliot's question.
He makes his way towards the door, leaning in and gently kissing her dark hair at the top of her head. As he crosses the squadroom he looks back towards her, makes sure he's loud and clear
"Coffee? When I'm back?"
"Coffee" she nods, walking back into her office.
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Hey Beautiful,Looking forward to brunch, I booked us up at a quiet spot near my apartment.Here's the address(address)
"Bye Noah have a great day, Love you Sweet boy"
"Bye Mom, you dressed like a girl again today, you look nice"
"Hah, thanks baby"
The backhanded compliments from her son never ceased to make her laugh, especially on days like today when she was filled with nerves. Their last encounter was cut drastically short and she had been frequently reliving that moment ever since.
She ran a couple of errands such as a visit to the postal office and a quick stop by a children's clothing store to return a jacket she had previously bought for Noah and then made her way over to meet Edgar.
Olivia wasn't surprised to see he was already sitting at a table as she arrived. He immediately spotted her and lifted himself from the table pulling out the chair opposite him.
"Olivia I'm so pleased to see you, wow you look absolutely beautiful"
"Thankyou Edgar, You look wonderful, have you ordered anything to drink yet?
"Not yet" he replied while politely holding his hand for the waiter.
The young waiter heads straight for their table
"Hi, Would you like to order any drinks to start?"
Edgar speaks first smiling towards Olivia
"Yes, Olivia would you like to join me with a bottle of Champagne?"