Not-Kim
Things got worse in Kim's second class of the day— gym.
La Push High was small enough that everyone knew everyone else, and by the time first period was over, everyone knew about Kim's brand-new twin sister with a different last name. The whispers were louder as the two girls wound their way through the halls to the back of the school, where the gymnasium and swimming pool were housed.
Laini stayed close to Kim, dutifully looking when Kim point out the cafeteria or the back entrance where student parking was. She ignored all the people staring. No one even looked away when she looked in their direction.
No shame.
"Hey, Kim," a girl said, pushing off her locker as they passed. She looked friendly, her hair in a peppy ponytail and a genuine smile plastered on her face. She stepped in front of the twins, stalling them in their walk. She gestured to Laini, eyebrows raised. "Who's this?"
The girl was probably perfectly nice, but Laini could practically feel her hackles rising. She ducked her head, hating the attention. She would have stalked off if she knew where they were going.
Kim balked for a moment. "Kayla, hey!" She paused, glancing at Laini, who was giving off big "leave me alone" vibes. Still, Kim's need to be polite won over. "Laini, this is my friend, Kayla. We're in debate club together. Kayla, this is Laini."
"And?" Kayla asked expectantly, dancing around the obvious question at hand.
"I'll explain later," Kim said hurriedly. "Can't be late. See you!"
It looked like it practically pained Kim to brush her friend like that, but she did it. She grabbed Laini's wrist and pulled her into the locker room, which was blessedly still empty. Laini wrenched her wrist from Kim's grip and sat on the wooden bench in the middle of the lockers.
She pulled her phone out, pretending she had someone to text. She'd tried last night— no one had responded. Not even Rose, her supposed best friend.
Out of sight, out of mind.
"It's not normally this bad," Kim said after a moment. She twisted a combination lock until it opened with a click. "Honestly, it's probably better this way. Now it won't be such big news when you start on Monday—"
"God, can you stop for two seconds?" Laini snapped, rubbing at her eyes. "Do you have to be so annoyingly positive all the fucking time?"
Kim wilted, practically sticking her face inside her locker while she rummaged through her bag. Laini grimaced, already feeling guilty, but she didn't apologize.
She hated being the center of attention— hated the thought of people talking about her. Hated that attention was inevitable in this situation. Hated that she was going to be bombarded with questions and comments for the foreseeable future— that she was never going to be normal here.
The bell rang above them, and the locker room filled up quickly. Laini took her cue and slipped out the other door into the gym. She had a brief flashback of being forced to change in the bathroom because the other girls didn't want her in the locker room.
She shook her head, pushing the memory away. She leaned against the wall, sliding until she sat on the shiny hardwood floor. If she squinted, she could almost imagine she was in the gym at her old school, back home.
"Why aren't you dressed?" Laini looked up at the harsh voice. A woman— presumably, the gym teacher— had just stepped into the gym from an adjoining office. She put her hands on her hips, clutching a clipboard in one of them. "Get back in there, Walker. We don't have all day."
"I'm not Kim," Laini said, harsher than she intended. She did not like being mistaken for Kim— never mind that they had the same face or that she was wearing Kim's clothes. The teacher raised her eyebrows stoically, obviously not believing her. "Didn't Anna call and say Kim's— her twin was coming today?"
Just then, Kim came out in her gym uniform, her hair pulled up in a high ponytail.
"Hey, Coach!" Kim said brightly. She glanced at Laini and her smile strained just a tad. Just enough to notice. "Have you met Laini, yet?"
"When your mom said 'twin', I didn't realize we were talking identical," Coach muttered, writing something on her clipboard. To Laini, she added, "You can take a seat on the bleachers and observe. Kim, get started on your laps."
"You okay?" Kim asked as Coach walked away, making a show of stretching so she could delay her run a bit more.
"Peachy." Laini pushed herself off the floor. She almost walked away, but paused for a moment. "I didn't mean to snap in there."
It was as close to an apology as she could get to right then. Kim nodded, smiling a little. Laini couldn't help but think she smiled too much. Gave them away too easily, to people like Laini who didn't deserve them.
"It's okay," Kim said, even though it wasn't. Laini nodded, awkwardness settling over them. From the utility closet across the room, Coach blew her whistle at Kim and the other students who'd begun filtering their way into the gym. Kim waved and jogged off with a "Gotta run!"
Laini walked in the opposite direction of everyone else, settling a couple rows up on the bleachers. Silently, she wondered what the point of coming to the school today was. Sure, she knew where the cafeteria, the gym, and the front office was. And yeah, she knew that each of the halls were designated for each core subject and then there were two halls for electives. But she could have learned all that with a map on Monday.
Anna had said something about spending time with Kim, but so far Laini hadn't done anything but make the morning rough on Kim and snap at her.
Sometimes, Laini could see why everyone in her life had left her, or pushed her away. She wasn't exactly easy to love.
"Hey, Not-Kim," a boy said, collapsing easily onto the bench next to her. Laini slid over, turning to look at the intruder. The boy was tall and overall big, in a muscular way. And handsome, she thought as he winked at her playfully.
She'd never been winked at before.
"Don't call me that," she said belatedly, and without half the heat she should've. "It's Laini."
"Paul," he said, holding his hand out. Laini rolled her eyes, but shook his hand. She waited for the inevitable questions— why haven't you been in La Push until now, how does Kim randomly have a twin sister, where have you been, etc. "So, you come here often?"
Laini snorted, pleasantly surprised. "Oh, yeah, definitely. That's why you've never seen me before, because I hide out in the gym all the time."
"Figured as much," Paul said easily. He leaned back, resting his arms on the bench behind him. "Though I would have run into you before. I ditch here a lot."
Laini nodded to him, eyeing his gym uniform. White T-shirt with "La Push High School" on the back, plain black shorts. "Looks like you should be running right about now."
"But it's more fun up here with you," Paul protested, teasing. Coach's shrill whistle blared through the gym, making Laini jump. Paul laughed at her. Without thinking, she slapped him lightly in the side.
"Lahote! Get running or you get a zero for the day!" Coach shouted from across the gym, hands on her hips. Paul laughed easily, not fazed in the least.
"What, no 'welcome back'?" he shouted back, cupping his hand around his mouth.
"Now!"
Paul elbowed Laini softly as he stood. "See you around, Not-Kim."
"Don't call me that!" Laini called without heat. He wasn't so bad— maybe the first person in La Push she didn't hate on principle.
Not that she intended to be making friends. Friends would make this place more bearable, but she was intent on hating this place and only staying long enough to get through high school and secure on-campus living at a college far away. No reason to get attached.
She thought back to her unanswered texts to Rose and her other friends. No reason to pretend to have friends anymore, she corrected silently.
She watched Paul for a moment as he melded into the group, easily overtaking them. He was probably on the track team— had to be, with speed like that. It was impressive. Even someone as disinterested in sports as Laini could see that.
Laini's phone buzzed in her pocket. Frowning, she dug it out and slid the notification open.
AUNT MORGAN: How are you holding up?
Laini locked her phone, leaving the message unanswered.
Anna hummed along to the song on the radio— some top forty hit Laini recognized but didn't really know— as they pulled into the Port Angeles Shopping Centre. It was a long stretch of the main road in the city, comprising of multiple strip malls and restaurants and a pier overlooking the ocean. If it were a sunny day in the summer, it would be idyllic.
Too bad it was a rainy in March. Anna had brought the girls jackets when she picked them up, but Laini childishly refused to wear hers. The jacket was Anna's and she did not want to wear anything that belonged to her. It was bad enough wearing Kim's clothes.
Kim sat in the passenger seat, scrolling through her phone quietly. After a few awkward attempts at small talk when Anna had first picked them up, they'd all lapsed into silence for the duration of the hour-long ride.
Anna parked the car. "So, where to first? Delaney?"
"I don't care," Laini said dully, ignoring the second text to appear on her phone. Aunt Morgan again. Left her on read again.
"Come on, it's your shopping trip!" Anna egged on, turning around to give Laini the Puppy Eyed Stare. "Target, Forever 21, or Pink? We can start there and work our way around, whatever you want."
In the distance, Laini spotted a bookstore— Odyssey Books. If she was truly picking, that's where she would go first. But she didn't want to say it— didn't want to allow Anna to be the one who bought her books.
"Delaney?"
Laini knew this would just be worse if she didn't give an answer. "Pink, I guess."
The shopping trip was fairly painful, as far as Laini was concerned. Every three minutes, Anna was pulling down shirts and skirts with a "Ooh! Delaney, this would look adorable on you!" It was always something Kim would like. Always.
Laini ignored her as best she could, focused more on finding clothes she actually liked. She didn't know how much Anna was planning to spend, so she kept herself reigned in. Only the bare essentials— enough to have a workable wardrobe, and nothing more. She didn't want to owe Anna anything.
Eventually, Kim stepped in and occupied Anna by comparing body spray scents. Laini couldn't decide if Kim was trying to help her or if she was jealous and trying to steal the attention from her. (She knew it was probably the former, but you never know. Only child syndrome could be a bitch.)
Soon, they made their way to Target, weighed down by three Pink bags and two big Forever 21 bags. In Laini's defense, one and a half of those bags had stuff for Anna and Kim. In Target, Laini focused less on clothes and more on the other things she'd left behind back in Michigan— simple things like face wash, candles, proper bedding. Normal things that she'd been missing.
Target was a weirdly nostalgic place. It was the same no matter where in the country you were, and if Anna would shut up for a moment Laini could almost pretend she were back home with her real mom— adoptive mom, she corrected.
Was it healthy to keep rejecting reality and pretending she was home? Probably not, but they were the only moments of peace she had. Until she remembered that she wasn't welcome at home anymore.
Right.
"Delaney, what do you think? This would be adorable with your bedding!" Anna held up a teal throw pillow that would, admittedly, look great with her new bedspread. It was actually pretty cute— a nice swirling pattern. Anna held it up next to her face, beaming as she showed it off.
Laini hated it.
"I don't need it," she said sharply, picking up a throw blanket in the same design. She threw it into the basket that was cradled in the crook of her elbow. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Anna slowly put the pillow back.
"Okay, Delaney, what about—"
"Could you just fucking call me Laini, please?" Laini snapped, at the end of her rope. "I hate the name Delaney."
"I was trying to be respectful," Anna stammered, taken aback. So far, Laini had ignored her more than lashed out.
"No one's called me Delaney since I was a little kid," she said.
"And you wouldn't want to be called Melanie, right?"
The name practically sent hives up Laini's spine.
"Hell no."
Melanie was her birth name. The one Anna and Steven had given her— Kimberly and Melanie Walker, how cute. But when Laini's adoptive parents got her, they decided to change her name to Delaney. She was so young that it wouldn't confuse her, after all.
She could not imagine herself as a Mel. Not in the least.
Anna was blessedly quiet for a few aisles. Kim picked up the chatter, much more open around her mother than when it was just her and Laini. Kind of ironic that Laini preferred it when it was just her and Kim.
"And Jared is back in school," Kim was saying. "Paul Lahote, too. Kind of weird that they got sick at the same time and then came back on the same day. But I didn't get to see much of him because he was late. Jared, I mean. Not Paul."
"I think I'm going to go look at the DVDs," Anna interrupted. "I'll be back in a bit. Do you girls need the cart?" She was pushing a big, red cart around. All of her and Kim's items were in there, along with Laini's bedding and table lamp.
Laini silently held up her basket, showing they were fine. Anna nodded.
"I'll be back," she said, and wandered down the aisle. Laini visibly relaxed when she was out of view.
"She's trying, you know," Kim said quietly. She was examined coffee mugs, pulling down a pretty flowery one. She wasn't looking at Laini, but Laini's cheeks heated with emotion.
"I don't care," Laini said shortly.
"Laini—"
"No, don't," Laini snapped, setting a mug down too hard. She whipped around to glare at Kim. "You don't know— you don't know what this is like for me. I don't care if she's trying. She can try for the rest of her life and she's never going to make it up to me. I'm never going to forgive her."
"She's your mom!"
"No, Kim," Laini said impatiently, "she's your mom. To me, she's just the woman who gave me up. The one who decided I wasn't good enough and tossed me aside. That's who she is to me."
Kim struggled to find words, eyes welling up. "Then— then why are you even here?"
Laini scoffed, shaking her head. "Because I'm sixteen and I had nowhere else to go! No one else would take me in and—" She choked up, turning away. She took a deep, unsteady breath, absolutely refusing to cry inside a Target. And in front of her sister, no less.
No one else would take her in. Laini had grown up with a big extended family; she had grandparents and aunts and uncles on both sides. And yet, she'd sat for hours in the park calling family member after family member, begging for someone to let her stay with them.
She'd slept on a bench that night.
No one had wanted to upset her parents— at least, not until they got "their side of the story", as if there was another side besides throwing their only child on the street because she wasn't straight.
The two texts from Aunt Morgan weighed on her mind.
"I'm going to the car," Laini muttered, a lump in her throat making it hard to talk. She ignored the stupid speechless look on Kim's face and shoved her basket at her, not caring if they bought the shit or not. She just needed to get out of there immediately.
She practically ran out of the store and down the street.
She felt like she couldn't breathe— her throat was closing and suffocating her. She stumbled, falling forward onto the sidewalk. The heels of her palms scraped painfully on the concrete, but she just curled her hands into fists and sat there on her knees.
And for the first real time since that fateful day, Laini allowed herself to cry.
A/N: Thank you guys so much for the amazing reviews! I'm so happy that you guys like this so far :) I have a few more points to share.
1. I'm fudging the timeline of New Moon/Jared and Paul phasing some. This chapter included both boys returning after they phased for the first time and it's the beginning of March. We'll pretend the wolfy events of New Moon happen in, like, May.
2. The next chapter is going to be an Interlude. There will be a couple of these in the story— kind of like an opportunity to pop into other characters' heads. They won't be progressing the story, really, so they'll be pretty short. Not chapter-length. Just a head's up!
Thanks again for showing this story so much love! Please, please keep it up :)