||MONDAY||
Monday. The most terrible part of the week. The beginning of a fresh hellscape of the 7 days. Nothing but torment and tired pain for everyone. Everyone suffered, including one guy who woke up to the sound of his alarm clock going off and waking him with loud radio talk about political stuff and the news going on in Paradise; the town that was almost as simple and basic as a bowl of cereal.
The guy had no name, but he was always called the Dude. Dude was just an average guy with an average life Everything throughout the past few years for him was just that. Average. An average bitchy wife. An average dog. An average job. An average house. An average town.
It was the most boring lifestyle for the Dude and he hated it every single time he had to wake up and smell the morning coffee. He groaned and pressed the button to shut the machine off and had to slowly move his body until his body cracked and his joints were no longer stiff. He yawned and had his feet touch the floor before his shaky legs got himself up and was ready for whatever his day was going to be like.
He was only in his striped boxers and looked over to the side of the bed to see nobody was with him. It meant his wife was able to make coffee AND not forget about it this time. The Dude rubbed his eyes to awaken himself and to clean them from the crust. He yawned again but covered his mouth with a fist as his body started to make a move to the closet.
In the kitchen was the wife who was drinking coffee with a mug. To the Dude and to everyone else in town, she was only called one name for one reason and only that reason. She was known as the Bitch. She always nagged the Dude and acted totally insane around in public; yelling at women and wanting to fight with the managers of fast food joints and buildings. She caused so much infamy on herself that she was labeled as the first 'Karen of Paradise'. It was a title that she seemed to hold greatly and never attempted to try to clear her name. She was proud of being a Karen it seemed. A foul mouthed and very bitchy Karen.
The Dude got on his usual outfit; His black buttoned up shirt with a blue tie and clean jeans. He got his socks on and letted out a sigh as a way to let the old out and let the new embrace him. It was a new life for this week afterall, so anything good could happen for him. He made his way out of the room and was heading down the hall with the scent of roasted coffee beans getting stronger.
He went down the stairs and as he made the final step he turned to the corner and from there he made it to the kitchen. Over by the table was his wife having to be using her mug to drink the coffee while eating a pancake as she stood up. The mug said 'Bad Bitches Drink Coffee' in bold capitalized letters.
The Dude went past his wife to reach over the coffee machine that was close by with another mug by the side of it being ready to be used. "No. Not yet." The Dude said to himself as he got the coffee pot and started to pour the rich liquid in the cup.
"I didn't say anything yet." His wife looked at him puzzlingly as he put the pot back in place and took a grab of the handle.
"Well you always pester me about the job. I still heard no call from them yet." He began to take a sip and feel the rush of energy course through him. Coffee wasn't nowhere near as good as a can of soda or beer, but it was the only thing that he had to drink besides water and fruit flavored drinks.
"Man. That job really sucks massive loads of shit if they can't even bring you in to just play video games." She annoyingly sighed while rubbing her forehead and getting to blow away some of her long blonde hair out of the way. "I give them this week to call you, or I will flip shit at them and then at you."
'Great. I'm being yelled at for something again as usual.'. "Look, just give me some time ok? It's hard to find a job like this you know? I blame this Mad Cow Disease that is spreading." It was a good point to make. Jobs weren't really hiring anyone due to this pandemic going on thanks to some rabid cows that have gone wild and starting to slaughter, breed, and eat their own kind. It was a madhouse in the outside world.
To the wife, aka the Bitch, it meant nothing but just excuses that were made so he couldn't get a job and keep mooching off her.
"Fuck that. Go get a job and go find one soon. If you literally wait for the whole week, I will kick your ass out of here." She kept nagging and complaining at him as he drinks his coffee and tried to make sure that he wasn't going to suffer through any headaches again like last week when it came to her bitching.
A new noise started to peak his attention and move his head to the side. He went from looking at the nagging lady wife of his to now on the floor to see the cause of the happy sounds of an awake and excited being. Champ. The Dude and the wife's new puppy; Even though technically it is Dude's new dog.
The adorable puppy was founded a couple of weeks ago by Dude after a late night of drinking due to the wife having to return back as the Bitch. As he was puking his guts behind the dumpster of the bar, he found the puppy alone on his own. He was skinny and whimpering. Normally the Dude would just ignore it and claim it to be part of the cruel world since Earth was a total bitch basket. Yet, something made him take Champ home and give him that name and feed him with hotdogs and with clean water bottles to drink from. To this day, The Dude couldn't believe that he did a good deed since forever, and it was all because of this mutt. The Dude had to let out a little smile seeing the happy wagging dog who was panting like crazy with a smile.
"Um, hello?" The wife kept her anger going as she was now furious that she was being ignored by her husband. "Are you even going to say anything?"
Dude had to think fast. He had to somehow survive the torment of her. He looked back at the dog again and the collar. Quickly, he found a reason to escape the hell house. "Oh sorry. I was going to walk the mutt. He is small and needs his strength to survive after all."
Normally the wife would not back down and keep her voice raised and wanting to finish the fight with her opponent's ears bleeding. Yet she couldn't since she had her girls night to attend to, and she needed to keep her voice pure and ready to spit out facts and political talk with the few women that adore her and her Karen-like way and thinking.
"Fine. Could you also go get milk. Used it up for the coffee." The wife said it with no please and no care. She just wanted the milk since it was healthy but at least drinkable compared to water and fruit drinks.
The Dude took one more drink from the coffee and agreed to her demands. He got to live another day, but hopefully the milk will be enough to keep her happy and prevent her from being so bitchy again. He placed the cup down on the table and walked out of the kitchen with Champ following behind him and getting ready to go out for his walk.
At the front door the Dude grabbed the leash and squatted down to click the metal hook clamp to the collar's small metal ring. Champ was barking with joy with having to finally be going out this early in the morning. The one last thing the Dude had to put on was his shoes. There were two pairs that belonged to him and fitted him like a glove; one was brown loafers that were just so ridiculously hideous that he cringed at the sight of them, but the other...were black boots that he had for the past couple of years until his wife made him change everything about him.
He was stuck with two choices here. He could let his wild clothing stand out or he could just wear the shittiest shoes to ever exist. One would make him cool but he would be hated by the nagging Bitch but the other would keep him safe and keep his reputation perfect for Paradise. It was a choice that was going to affect him forever. Actions did have consequences after all, so he had the decision to let his old self have fresh air too, or play safe for the sake of himself and to please the Bitch.
He took the loafers and looked like a total idiot. He walked on the sidewalk and got his chance to fully wake up thanks to the hot sun being on his face and body. The Dude walked with Champ taking the lead with his tail still wagging and the puppy being so full of energy.
The Dude kept trying to keep up with Champ since the puppy was going too fast. The two ran past bystanders who were doing their usual lifestyle on this Monday morning. Some were rude to the pup and the Dude, some were just ignorant and only moved aside with a pissed off look, some just didn't care.
The town itself was like a mixed bag at this point. With Mad Cow Disease being the thing that's plaguing the town there was no wonder why people were getting scared and worried. A huge crisis was happening in a town that was ranked '5th most safest place in the world' afterall.
Champ and Dude kept running past the neighborhood all the way to where the stores and most motels and even where the mall was stationed. They stopped in the heart of Paradise. Champ took a breather and painted heavy with the pup laying on his belly on the warm concrete.
"Jeez. You really outdone yourself Champ." The Dude said as he got on his knees and gently patted the pups head. Guess this means he has to get milk and get something cold for Champ so he doesn't get dehydrated and burn up in a crisp. He gently grabbed the dog and picked him up to have him lay on his arms as the Dude got himself up and looked around for the small convenient store.
He spotted it which was a good 30 feet away from him. All he had to do was wait for the crosswalk lights to turn green and he and Champ could get what they wanted. He was thankful to be wearing sunglasses as the sun was directly in front of him and still beaming its rays on him and the dog. He tapped his foot and waited. All he wanted to do was go home and just lay in bed. He was thinking of maybe renting some pornos on the tv and-
"HEEEEEYYYY!~" Oh no. It was him again. Every single day he appeared as if he was just teleporting all over the place. The Dude was tapping his foot faster and praying to God, Jesus, and Satan to make that damned light turn green before the guy would show up.
"Heeeyy man!~" The voice was louder as the Dude looked over by his shoulder to see the guy standing there. He almost jumped out of his pants at the sight of the annoying pest that was wearing the most stand out clothing ever.
"Oh...hey Jeton." Jeton Gay. The most basic guy in Paradise. He was the local good guy who always raises donations, gives donations, donates a donation for a donation to help out donations. He never does bad deeds and always tries to help the good in his pink polo and white tennis shorts with the whitest sneakers and socks in the entire world.
The only thing the Dude knew about him was only three important details; he's a goody two shoes, a bright color mess, and that he was a French man born and raised in the city of love. Paris. The town that made him become what he is today. He waved hello and gave a friendly welcome morning to the Dude and to Champ. The latter was thrilled to see him as Champ always has been getting tons of treats and almost was spoiled by Jeton while the Dude was just begging for someone to blow his damaged brains out in a violent manner.
"I didn't expect you two to be going over here so early! Usually you take your walkies out in the neighborhood!" Jeton said as he had a bottle of cherry flavored water in his hand as he wiped the sweat off his brow. It seemed as if he was jogging in that same outfit he wears every day; the Dude always thought about if he even has any other pair of clothing.
"Well the wife of mine kept begging me for milk. Now I gotta get it and Champ some water and then I will be home doing my usual thing."
"Oh. Exercise? Spend time with your wife? Watch the newest sports game?"
"Nah. Just jack off on the screen to a woman with massive titties." The Dude's response got Jeton to be all disgusted while the Dude chuckled to himself and hoped that it would be enough of grossness to get him to walk away.
Of course like always it never worked at all. "Well mister 'porno enthusiest', I hope you have fun with your...weird shit."
"Gladly will." The light turned green and the Dude walked the crosswalk while still holding Champ in his arms while the annoying resident of Paradise kept walking beside them and giving the pitbull terrier puppy small pats on the head and kept saying how he was the cutest dog in town. Again, the Dude was wanting some bus to run him over horribly.
The Dude looked over at Jeton. "Sooo are you following me to piss me off or you looking for something weird and kinky to happen in the middle of town?"
Jeton laughed as he continued petting the dog. "Well I need to get more water. My ex boyfriend stole all of them last night."
The Dude raised a brow. "Got dumped again huh?"
Jeton sighed. "Yeah...this time over because of a flamingo lawn ornament I bought! Like, he wanted to take it down and I said no and then he got pissy and took all the greatest bottles of water in the universe! Like...fuck, it sucks you know?"
"Yeeah. I'd be pissed too if someone took my beer and soda. I need it to make the foulest of strong drink combos." The Dude made it to the street and walked slightly to his right to enter right where the store was.
A small convenient store that was owned and operated by a family from the Middle East. The Lucky Ganesh was its name, and many items for cheap prices were their game. It was fair and fine for the Dude who couldn't believe how these people were not booming with business due to how cheap and fair they were being. It was probably because of the most common thing that is ruining the lives of foriegn folk who live in the USA...capitalism.
The two guys walked in and were blasted with the cool air conditioning. The fellas may have very VERY big differences between the two, but both felt relief to be in the cool air as they closed the door and continued walking in. Inside they were greeted by the owner of the convenient store. It was Habib who was in his nice red shirt and brown jeans.
"Hey! It's my two favorite customers!" Habib shouted as he was in the middle of getting a customer's cigarettes.
"Heey Habib!~" Jeton said in a mild flirtatious manner while the Dude was looking around to remember where the milk was.
Habib looked over at the Dude and noticed what he was holding in his arms. "Hey man, I thought we agreed on this."
That's right. No dogs allowed. At least after what happened with Champ having to steal a whole cup of noodles and make off with it. The wife really complained into the Dude's ear for days because of that incident.
"Don't worry I got him. Besides, this adorable little pooch wants some water. I'm paying for it."
Habib gave the customer the cigarettes and started to give them their change. "You are lucky to be one of my favorite people here." He then turned over to the customer to bid them a pleasant day. "Thank you for unclean visit, now GET OUT! And come again, please."
The two guys started to make their way to where the freezers were to get what they wanted. Jeton was quick to find his case of bottles of water as he gasped with his mouth being covered with one hand and a wide grin on his face. He really loves his water...too much to be exact.
The Dude was able to find the milk that she liked. Low fat whole milk from Silicon Valley. Expensive milk too. Five whole dollars just to drink some rich cows' weird nipples that were put in a gallon jug. Regardless he had enough money for the milk; he thanked god for Lucky Ganesh. He pulled out his wallet and checked to see how much he got. He only had just enough for the milk, but not enough for a bottle of water for Champ.
He sighed. He was stuck with two choices that have a good and bad outcome. Getting the milk would make the Bitch happy, but Champ would be dehydrated to the point that he would be too weak to do anything all day; plus might even hold a grudge on the Dude. Getting the water would be saving him money and making him have a good reputation to his new dog, but the Bitch would start...bitching.
'Wait...am I starting to call her the Bitch aga-'
"HANDS IN THE AIR!" The loud yelling made the Dude and Jeton look back to see that over at the cashier stand was a tall male robber with a hunting shotgun in hand. The robber was wearing a mask and gloves to cover up his skin with a zipped up hoodie to conceal his shirt.
The Dude and Jeton both hide behind the shelves to cover themselves as the robber keeps the gun on Habib and kept demanding him to open the cash register. All that was going on was a showdown of who could become the loudest yeller between Middle Eastern or American. The Dude was able to peek over and watch the event unfolding before his sunglasses and eyes.
Jeton was panicky for good reason given that this was his first time having to be in a robbery. He never has been robbed or has ever been involved with a robbery at all, while the Dude just smiled and admired the stupidity and chaos that was right in front of him in walking distance. Jeton looked at the Dude and wanted to say something but felt like he would give them away. So he started to wave his hand over to the Dude in quick motion before going back into hiding by the shelf.
Thankfully for him, the Dude was able to see that Jeton was trying to communicate with him. "What?" He whispers over to the shaking Frenchman.
"I-I ain't liking this morning so far." Jeton felt his legs were shaking as him and Dude were squatting down during their hiding. He was afraid his legs were going to give and he would fall and cost him both his life and his bottles that could explode from dropping on the floor.
The Dude paid no worries. "I think it's fun. Rarely do I see shit like this in the morning."
"Plleeeaasse man. You gotta do something!"
"Why? I wanna see how it-"
BOOM
The sound of the shotgun going off made both their heads turn to see the robber was now getting more pissed off and at that point he was ready to spill blood on the floor. He yelled at Habib to open the cash register or he would take it himself. Habib started to realize that he was at a losing battle, and he had to give in before he ended up dying in his own store.
The Dude looked over at Jeton who was more worried than ever. Not for just himself, but for Habib who had the shotgun real close to his chest as he started to open the cash register. The Dude could let the chaos go on even further, but maybe it was best to keep the only guy who gives out cheap prices alive. He handed Champ over to Jeton and got himself up.
"W-wait! What the hell are you doing?" Jeton wanted the Dude to not do anything reckless and stupid. Yet the Dude ignored him and just walked forward. Being reckless and stupid, surprisngly, was what kept the Dude throughout the years.
He went behind the robber whose focus was on Habib and his finger really close to pulling the trigger. One wrong move and the Dude or Habib would end up as a decaying corpse in the church grounds with a blown off head. He had to make a noise to distract him and get the gun to be away from Habib. He just needed to do what the Dude does. Play dumb and be ignorant to people.
"Excuse me good sir. You mind lowering the gun away from the kind and caring low paid owner?"
The robber moved his shotgun and had the barrel inches away from the Dude's chest. "Back off fuckface!"
The Dude raised his hands up. "Whoa there. I'm just trying to buy some milk." He points over to the jug of milk he wanted over by the freezer.
"Well wait until I get this fuckers money then you can buy your shit milk." The robber was about ready to move his gun back over to Habib until the Dude kept being, well, himself.
"Well I got places to be bub. It will only take a second." The Dude was only given a click-click warning as the shotgun was cocked and ready for another shot.
"Last warning dick face. Back off now!" He yelled as Habib was about placing the money in a plastic bag. The Dude looked slightly over to Habib as the store owner was grabbing the handles and starting to tie them together. He had a plan up his sleeve, and the Dude was starting to follow along with it.
"Then can I just say one last thing?" The Dude watched as Habib held the tied handles with one hand and was starting to move his arm back; being ready for the next step to take place.
"What is it then?"
The Dude only grinned as he thought of the last words to say to the robber. "Moneyshot him."
"Money w-" The second the robber turned around to face Habib, he was hit with the cold and very hard cash he was willing to kill for. The bag being so strong that the impact to the masked face was not enough to break it apart and have the cash fly out. Habib may be cheap, but he seems to know what to do for his store.
As the robber's body began to spin with his feet only once with his vision being dazed and only seeing the light brown plastic and the world around him spinning, the Dude took the tag team assist and moved forward with his hands getting a hold of the shotguns barrel and stock.
He pulled it away without much of a hassle as the robber took a step back with the Dude having his hands on the forestock and the receiver with his finger right on the trigger guard. The robber was quick to get his focus back and see that he was now the one being robbed at gunpoint.
"Y-yo man it...it was just a prank for Youtube I swear to god!" The robber was lying in every way to prevent himself from being laughed and gawked at by millions of people on the internet. While the Dude was in a thought...a deep, twisted thought.
He has never held a gun for so long. It felt warm and cold to him. His spine shivered from the feeling he was getting. It was indescribable to him. Mixed array of emotions looped around in his brain. Lust of blood. Wraith with bullets. Murder and bloodshed all around him. The muffled screams were all he could hear as it inched closer to becoming louder.
He looked at the robber and saw nothing but a slim jim that was ready to be torn apart with multiple pellets tearing his body chunk by chunk. Flashes of that image of the freshly killed robber began to corrupt his vision of reality. It has been so many years. He wanted to have the chance to grab a gun and use it. For practice. For the real deal. For any God given reason. Now, he had one in his possession. He was feeling his body starting to get warmer and give off only one thought of what was making him feel hot; bloodlust.
When he looked at Habib he didn't him as a person he was trying to safe; he only saw a body with his head bashed on the counter with one eye almost popping out of the sockets and the bag of money turning into a bloody bag of blood money that leaked down from the counter and onto the floor. His next view was of Jeton. Jeton would get it the worst of all. Death by something so violently ill provoking that even Satan would hurl in disgust of what type of mortal would dare be this cruel to another.
His grin was getting wilder and he felt his lungs wanting to let out the laughter he was trying to hold back. Bleeding walls and decaying mangled corpses that kept screaming. It kept getting worse with every single second he held onto that gun. The voices and flesh skinned bodies that were sucked into the wall and floor and ceiling were pleading with their lives for him to not slaughter them like pigs. They begged for somewhat any mercy he could give. To not let them die horribly and so harshly.
His laughter was about to come out. His past self was going full force and was getting ready to come out. He could feel it. The Dude was ready for the gun to be empty in a matter of five seconds. The finger was now on the trigger. He took one last look at all of the new victims that would soon be on the red fleshed flooring. He looked at Champ and-
"C..Champ?" Champ was the only one that stood out. He wasn't covered in blood. He wasn't a fleshy monster. He wasn't dead. He was alive and wagging his tail as if he was happy to see him.
"Ch...champ…" The Dude couldn't look away from him. The puppy was just so carefree. So innocent and pure. A special kind of good luck charm. To the Dude, seeing Champ being clean and being himself was...relaxing. Comforting like a light in the darkness. The Dude just only looked at Champ. The screaming was starting to flicker away and the walls were tearing apart the flesh and showing off the world of reality. No more screaming souls from the Dude's past. No feeling of the past self taking over. He refused to turn back to his old ways. Only because of-
The robber screamed in a raging last stand. His fists being ready to swing and get a chance to hit something. He swung and got his first hit on the man that wasn't fully awakened yet. The Dude took the blow like a pro to the right temple. He didn't let go of the gun, but he refused to use it. He wasn't going to let his inner self come out.
He looked at the robber who was ready to throw another punch. The Dude was quick to position his hand from being on the trigger to grabbing a hold of the stock and raising up the shotgun so the only thing the attackers hand would come into contact with would be metal. The robber yelped in pain and pulled his hand back as his knuckles were in a mild shocking pain from hitting hard refurbished metal.
The Dude letted go of the fore-end and got a hold of the stock with both hands and gripped onto it tightly. He raised the weapon up to the point that the barrel barely scraped the ceiling. The robber got to focus back onto his opponent but before he could think of even an attempt to dodge, the barrel came down and hit right in the middle of his skull. The sudden impact was enough to make the robber collapse and fall on the floor.
The impact was enough to make the Dude's arms shake as metal met bone in a hard way as the robber still laid on the floor. The Dude dropped the gun and walked over to the body. Habib, the Dude, and Jeton who was starting to come out of hiding while holding onto Champ tightly, all came over to look at the body that didn't move an inch. Did the Dude go too far? Did he actually slaughter someone? The Dude was internally panicking as he couldn't believe it happened. He kill-
A loud snore was heard coming out of the nostrils of the fallen robber. The Dude sighed with his conscious being clear. He only made him pass out with the gun. He couldn't believe it, but he got to use a weapon and not kill anyone for the first time. He was just shocked by how much will power it took for him to snap back. Well, that and Champ being his saving grace.
Habib looked over to the Dude and was thrilled by how the robbery was handled. He got to keep his cash and the robber was knocked out cold. A huge win for him and a bigger win for his store.
"I owe you one man." Habib said with the Dude trying to decline the offer.
"No I'm good" The Dudes refusal of the offer didn't stop Habib though.
"I'm serious. Look, I can offer you one free item but that is it." Habib was being back to his old ways, but was being generous with it.
A free item out of this store? To the Dude, it might have been the hardest choice. Decisions really can make a person think. There was some good chips here and some great ice cream in the mix too. His eyes from behind his sunglasses wondered around and he looked to see if something caught his eye. There by the freezers was the dreadful milk and the water that Champ likes to drink.
This was going to be the easiest choice ever for him. "I'll take the milk for free, and I'll pay for the water bottle."
"Done deal my friend!" Habib was starting to put the cash back into the resgister as Jeton was helping out with counting the bills; it was a dumb attempt of trying to flirt with Habib in any way shape and form.
The Dude walked over to get the two important items in his day. As he went over he wondered about the word Habib said. 'Friend'. The Dude shuddered at the word. It sounded so vile and disgusting to him. Friends were something he never wanted in his life. All he had was a dog, an annoying wife, and himself as the only company he needed. Friends were just a nuisance. Piggybackers that would harm your wallet, your emotions, and even your life. Friends were just replaceable really. The one thing he cared about was getting the damned milk and getting Monday to be over and done with; it was all that he cared for.
||MONNIGHT||
It was always the same dream with the Dude. A burnt house with pieces of fleshy substance oozing out of the cracks. Outside the windows was fire and the sound of bullets emptying out of chambers like rain drops. The furniture was broken and in pieces. Tables, chairs, desks and drawers were all broken apart and scattered on the floor like confetti. The only thing that stood in place was the couch. The dark green couch with stains and a torn hole on one of the couch cushions.
Home. The Dude was at home. He laid his back on the cushions while his arm was off the couch and his hand on the flooring with his head on a couch pillow. When the days were so rough and so terrible, he always dreamt up this place. It was his only shelter. To be away from the outside world would be a wet dream of his.
It was his sanctuary away from the idiots and the craziness the world is today. Politics. Riots. Fear Mongering. All of the negative reputations of the world were always affecting the Dude and making him just want to snap again one day. To go on a day of chaos. A day of killing…
"Ah. The memories." A voice said. It was his own. Yet, it wasn't him. Beside sat down a male in a straightjacket His face being somewhat covered with a restrained strap mask. That white restriction tool and brown strap leathered mask were the only things to stand out and be different. Everything else was the same. The same clothing, the same skin and hair color, and the same shades. Next to the Dude was himself. A twisted restrained version of himself; he was the only problem as to why the Dude refuses to dream up his place of safety.
"It was fun wasn't it? To have the day of killings. To let out all your anger." The other version of Dude said with a deep chuckle. The Dude gave him a name as a way to prevent him from saying 'the other me'. The name was fitting for what he did years ago. Postal Dude.
The Postal Dude looked over to his weak other self. He couldn't believe the fact that someone like him had turned soft. Weak. Letting a bitch ruin his day and having to be a pushover by everyone. At his jobs he was always the bitch that got replaced easy. The Postal Dude questioned the Dude if he was even the one who wore the pants in the marriage.
The Dude said nothing. Looking over to the Postal Dude who was smiling. There was one new thing added to this corrupted being. In his head was a pair of scissors where only an inch of the blades and the handles were sticking out like a sore thumb on the right temple.
"What's with the scissors?" The Dude questioned in an attempt to silence the complaining of his other self.
"Well just my head hurts is all." The Postal Dude said while the Dude nodded.
"Well you know what they say, Running With Scissors is bad for your health."
"Pfft. Running With Scissors is for hypersexual deviant t-rex's. Like me." He looked down and up at the Dude with his shades covering his eyes. "Well, before I turned soft."
"Yeah yeah…" The Dude was going to remain silent. Just to enjoy his breath of peace and ignore the crazy man in the straightjacket who was trying to chew and bite through it in an attempt to escape somehow.
During the middle of the biting, the Postal Dude was able to start up a conversation; much to the dismay of the Dude. "It was fun wasn't it?"
He knew what he was talking about. The Dude kept his cool and kept quiet while closing his eyes.
"Commoooon. It was thrilling. To feel the rage. To feel the need to end all of the world. To let your violence take over and give the Earth the biggest middle finger and dick shaking combo ever!"
"It was fun. I will admit to it." The Dude had to say something. Anything to shut him up really.
"Then…" The Postal Dude stopped his biting and looked over to the lazy version of himself. "Why did you wuss out?"
The Postal Dude knew the answer. The Dude knows that he knows the reason. He refused to say anything.
"It was because of a dog? Really? I get that you had a dog before, but why this one?"
"I don't know, ok? Maybe...maybe I guess...because he is a puppy. A child really."
The Postal Dude cocked an eyebrow. "You spared the world...because of a puppy...fuck, that is sadder than life itself you know?"
The Dude was already getting tired of dealing with him. He wanted to escape reality, but when his past self was being a piece of shit he had to leave before he got himself a splitting headache.
"Well I want to change. I don't want to become you anymore."
"What? Fun? Exciting? Bloodlust filled? I was better than ever because you wanted to show the world who was their daddy."
"I was mentally ill. I would have been in that cell in that same straightjacket forever if it wasn't for the fellas."
"Maybe...but you would have escaped either way I bet, and would have created more bloodshed. So why stop?"
The conversation was going to be nothing more but headaches. If he stayed longer it would probably put him in the sour mood for tomorrow. It was time for him to wake up now. This long thought and discussion was just nonsense. The Dude started to get off the couch and get up with his hands going into his pockets.
"This talk is over." The Dude said without ever look and headed straight for the door. His hand reached over to the knob before the other him started to talk.
"I will break my chains one day. One day...and all because you will release me." The Postal Dude grinned with a small laughter of insanity escaping his lips.
"One day I might just release you. Only incase of a big emergency that would be too much for me to handle. When I get everything back to normal and the chaotic mess is done with, the last pool of blood that will be on the soil would be my own." He turned the knob and opened the door.
Outside was a bright light that made the Dude cover his face with his hand. He always hated that light being his only reason for waking up. He would take walking through fire or going through a dark hallway instead of dealing with this powerful ray of light.
The Postal Dude released another chuckle. This time looking up at the other him that decided to become 'normal' and 'perfect'. "Heh...you are already starting to sound more and more like me."
The Dude walked forward and felt his skin getting warm. His body absorbing in the light and being ready to escape his room of peace and go and face the cruel world with his humor and sunglasses being the only thing that wasn't going to change. Before he woke up, he heard one last sentence from the Postal Dude.
"I will make sure that everyone knows my name...and be double sure that they will fear me...I hope you are ready for my return, because I know everyone won't be...hahahahahahaa…~"