"I ain't gonna let you be!" Mars sang along with their pocket radio/TV in full force. "No more lying, no more lying! Don't come crying to me! I saw somebody dying theeeeere! I saw it right there!"

Marceline, or rather, Mars, as they often preferred to be referred to, was a non-binary Guardian Shroob of the age of 15 who was easily recognisable by their freckles and purple bandanna with bluish-grey dots, and lived at their aunt and uncle's hotel, the Kunichinmi. They, themself, lost their parents in a UFO crash when they were still a baby, and their aunt Melony and uncle Pierce's decision of being awarded custody of them afterwards surely wasn't a decision that'd easily regret, since the two were filthy rich with their famous and luxurious hotel that got hundreds of visitors daily. And who wouldn't prefer that over a stereotypical dirt-poor orphanage?

The Kunichinmi had recently been re-established in an invaded bank building in the utmost northwest of Toad Town - or rather, Shroob Town - and the family was only very pleased with that, because they didn't want that luxurious life of theirs to take such a horrid turn all out of sudden!

"And this has been DS5 with Crying To Me" the host of the current radio show said, "and beforehand, you could hear Tame Galoomba with Ignorance Is Bliss." Soul Bubble Radio. Among the Shroobs, it was the most favourite radio channel of the majority of them.

"And now for some breaking news" the news reporter suddenly interrupted the host. "It's currently 5 p.m., and my name is Steven Byrne."

"Breaking news?" Mars said to themself, as they ran to the door of their room, opened it up and started shouting into the hallway to get their family's attention. "Auntie! Uncle! Paris! Breaking news! Turn your radios and TVs on!"

Paris was their cousin, as well as a Guardian Shroob and Pierce and Melony's only daughter, who was aged 18 and never seen without make-up, her favourite broad-brim hat and expensive jewellery.

"Breaking news, you say?" Odeko, the family's favourite bellman, suddenly beamed, convinced that it was finally some good news. "Ooh, I'll come and listen!" He frantically tossed some luggage aside and sprinted into Mars's room so they could listen to the news together.

"Hey!" a tired-looking Blazing Shroob mother shouted, "what about our luggage, sir?" She swiftly turned to her two children, who had been 'infected' with the bellman's enthusiasm. "Noel! Bill! Behave yourselves! This is no time to cause chaos!"

"Is it?" the teenage Guardian Shroob chuckled in some sort of defying manner as they swiftly closed the door behind them and huddled at their pocket radio/TV with Odeko.

Odeko was an RC Shroober of the age of 18 who graduated from high school early and immediately dropped out of college after a week due to being offered his current job a year ago. He did lose most of his friends because of it, but the income and the fact that he actually has a subtle place to live nowadays have absolutely been worth it for him.

"The Mushroom Kingdom of the past - I don't even know what they mean by 'the past', but alright" the news reporter continued, "it has been successfully invaded by us Shroobs as of today!" He sounded very enthusiastic for someone who actually had a very serious position on the radio. "From this day on, it will officially be known as the Shroob Kingdom!"

"Oh my goodness, yes!" both of the teenage Shroobs exclaimed, "finally!" They enthusiastically jumped up and gave each other quite the high-five.

Meanwhile, in the family room, Melony, Pierce and Paris had heard Mars's exclamation, and in response, the TV was immediately turned on.

In response to the one of the few rounds of good breaking news that one would get, Paris enthusiastically shouted and chuckled, because she didn't quite know how else to react.

"About time that we all got some recognition!" Pierce said with a smile. "This kingdom is finally ours!"

"Now for the rest of the world, eventually" Melony chuckled, "and to eradicate all of the humans."

"But first to let a ton of new Shroobs be born, Mother" Paris stated. "We can't just invade the earth that easily, you know? Also, that whole concept already sounds crazy as ever!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right about that."

Pierce, a Guardian Shroob, was the younger brother of Mars's late father, and the two used to hit it off very well when they were kids and teenagers. He was just your average everyday Shroob until he met Melony in middle school and immediately started crushing on her, to the point where even her parents took quite the liking to him. He was currently the owner and CEO of the Kunichinmi, and was easily recognisable by his purple tie that he never wanted to go to work without.

Melony, a Shrooba Diver who had very rich parents who worked in the travelling compartment, worked as a performer in her free time, and those performances didn't just consist of diving! Three years after she married Pierce and shortly before they had Paris, the circus that she was part of, the Rainbow Circus, suddenly disbanded due to decreasing finances. But that didn't stop her from still successfully performing for the hotel guests whenever she could, determined as she was. During such performances, she was easily recognisable by her light layer of orange make-up and purple goggles.

All the way downstairs in the hotel lobby, at the candy counter where the radio was practically on all day, Bridget and her older brother Sean were also very curious about what the breaking news could possibly bring them.

"Ooh, this seems important" Bridget said as she turned the speaker of the radio towards the side of the customers and turned the volume of the device up as high as possible.

"Why is that radio suddenly playing so loudly?" a young adult female 'regular' Shroob said. "I was just trying to maintain peace in my head by resting for a little while!"

"I wonder…" her girlfriend, a female Dr. Shroob among very few, muttered in curiosity.

"This news is just in from our one and only Princess Shroob" the news reporter said. "The Mushroom Kingdom of the past - I don't even know what they mean by 'the past', but alright - it has been successfully invaded by us Shroobs as of today! From this day on, it will officially be known as the Shroob Kingdom!"

"Wahoo!" Bridget and Sean exclaimed enthusiastically while tangling themselves into a tight hug. "We did it!"

The rest of the Shroobs in the lobby also cheered in an extremely enthusiastic fashion, some of the parents among them not really caring about accidentally waking up their sleeping young children at the same time.

Bridget, who was also a Guardian Shroob of the age of 18, was the best friend of Paris who ran the candy counter at the hotel lobby, and only sells candy of the highest and best quality. She was never seen without her cat ears headband as she considers herself to be one of the 'kawaii' Shroobs, but in reality, is strongly obsessed with a horror anime called Book Party where the protagonists dress the exact same way.

Sean, who was also a Shrooba Diver but not related to Melony by any means, was Bridget's silly older brother, aged 22, who was actually supposed to run the candy counter, but never really did since he preferred telling bad jokes to the customers instead. He was also never seen without his black cloak since he was very much into fantasy, wizardry and live-action role play.

"I kind of wonder if Paris and the others already know about it" Bridget said. "Wouldn't surprise me, though, since Mars has their radio/TV combination on all day after a long day of school."

"In fact" Sean said, "I wonder if any TVs or radios of the other Shroobs even turned themselves on just for that snippet of breaking news!"

"Bro, you know that's not even possible! They probably either got it from the neighbours, or the newspapers that are flooding their doorsteps!"

"You know that was a jest, right?"

"You could've told me sooner. I can't always read that from your facial expression." The cutesy Shroob chuckled a little as she somewhat lowered the radio's volume since music had started playing again.

"What are you doing, cat girl?" the same female Dr. Shroob asked. "Turn it back on at the loudest volume, there's a literal victory song playing, you know?"

"Sorry, didn't know that!" The radio was turned back on at the same maximum volume, soon resulting in almost the entire lobby singing along enthusiastically with the victory song.

Meanwhile, back in the Mushroom Kingdom of the present, the two pairs of Mario brothers and Stuffwell still felt very sad when they arrived back in the castle.

"Where's the princess?" Toadsworth asked. "I thought you lot would be bringing her back."

"Well… about that…" Luigi tried.

"Pwincess be gone!" baby Luigi wept. "We be doomed!"

"Exactly…"

"It doesn't seem like we can bypass Princess Shroob's plans either in order to save poor Peach" Mario sighed. "She's convinced that they won't work, no matter what the plans may regard."

"Not faiwh" baby Mario huffed in disapproval. "We wanna pwincess back, an' dat stupid Pwincess Shwoob should not intahfewe wif ouh pwans." He even crossed his arms and looked away.

All of the statements after Luigi's "exactly" fell on deaf ears, since Toadsworth had apparently passed out in the meantime due to disappointment and devastation.

"You lot" Toadsworth the Younger said once he suddenly saw the group again, "what's all of the fuss and anger about? Also, why is the other Toadsworth passed out?"

"Oh" Stuffwell suddenly said, as he felt something inside of him, "looks like an emergency broadcast is now going on!" He opened himself up and showed his in-built screen to the two pairs of Mario brothers, Professor Gadd, Toadsworth the Younger, and baby Peach, who was being held on by the latter.

"Breaking news at 5 p.m.!" the news reporter exclaimed, who didn't even bother to say her name. "Bad n- no, awful news for the Mushroom Kingdom of the past! The Shroobs… I… I'm very scared to say it, but… the Shroobs have fully invaded it! This Mushroom Kingdom of the past is now known as the Shroob Kingdom… and humans are not allowed to visibly enter it!"

"Oh my goodness!" Toadsworth the Younger exclaimed, accidentally making baby Peach weep out of shock. "This is awful indeed…"

"Criminy!" Professor Gadd gasped. "What is this world coming to?!"

"We didn't even need to tell it by ourselves anymore…" Mario stated.

"And there's more awful news!" the broadcast continued. "Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom of the present is still stuck in the clutches of Princess Shroob, and it doesn't look like Princess Shroob is allowing the Mario brothers to save her anytime soon since she still wants to interrogate her!"

"What be an intewwogate?" baby Luigi asked.

"I dunno" baby Mario replied with a shrug.

"It bettah be good…"

"Yeah…"

"An interrogation means that important questions are being asked to someone" Toadsworth the Younger explained while trying his best to console the still weeping baby princess. "Shh… there's no use in panicking along with me, princess…"

"Bettah be good ques'ions…"

"And there's no good news about Toadiko, Toadbert and Kylie Koopa either…" the disappointed news reporter sighed. "How are those from the Mushroom Kingdom of the present possibly going to save them now that they've become Shroob Mushrooms recently?"

"Those doggone Shroobs don't even have a weakness that's not Ice Flowers…" Professor Gadd sighed. "I really hate to say it, but I'm absolutely desperate…!"

"I hope we'll eventually discover a different kind of weakness besides Ice Flowers" Mario said. "It's not that there'll be a truce between us anytime soon or anything."

"No, there'd indeed be a very slim chance that that will happen."

"Rose Hip T., out!" And with that, the breaking news ended, and Stuffwell reverted himself back to normal.

A galore of major dread now hung among our heroes and their allies almost visibly...

In the basement of the castle, Fawful was bored of not having any customers at his Bean 'n Badge shop lately, and had decided to watch his favourite movie channel on his pocket radio/TV with some popped beans and Chuckola Cola. However, a breaking news flash would soon put a stop to that.

"Breaking news?" Fawful said. "Now I have fury!"

"Breaking news at 5 p.m.!" the same news reporter said. "Bad n- no, awful news for the Mushroom Kingdom of the past!"

"How should I have a care? Fawful is careless."

"The Shroobs… I… I'm very scared to say it, but… the Shroobs have fully invaded it! This Mushroom Kingdom of the past is now known as the Shroob Kingdom… and humans are not allowed to visibly enter it!"

"So what? Humans are fink-rats as big as those yucky Shroobs."

"And there's more awful news! Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom of the present is still stuck in the clutches of Princess Shroob, and it doesn't look like Princess Shroob is allowing the Mario brothers to save her anytime soon since she still wants to interrogate her!"

"Well, a kingdom without a princess? That's like the same definition as salt crystals without salt, or a steak sandwich with neither the steak nor the sandwich… also having the known as boring!"

"And there's no good news about Toadiko, Toadbert and Kylie Koopa either… How are those from the Mushroom Kingdom of the present possibly going to save them now that they've become Shroob Mushrooms recently?"

"Hmm… maybe beans have their weakness? I have an ought to try this… a plan as Fawfulicious as enoki with edamame!"

"Rose Hip T., out!" And with that, the breaking news flash had ended, and the movie on the movie channel was finally about to start.

"Oh, the movie channel should have the pox…" Fawful turned his pocket radio/TV off, grabbed a notebook and a pen and started making some plans. "I have the trying of beans at first… I wonder what'll have a happen…"

A/N: The story actually takes place in 2005 (also known as the year in which Mario & Luigi: Partners In Time was first released in North America), but that still didn't stop me from making occasional spoofs on songs that were made after that year. Can you guess the actual titles and artists of the spoofed songs as mentioned here? ;)