(Meanwhile, at the Loud House, A sign on the farm's board says "Get Your PANDEMIC SPECIAL medicine!" Other signs promote safe distancing and safe curbside pick-up. A line of cars waits for its purchases. Lynn Sr. has an umbrella out, as it's raining.)
Lynn Sr.: [as a driver pulls away] Okay, thank you very much! Hope you enjoy the Pandemic Special! [another driver pulls up] Hi, you here for the special? Here you go.
(In the kitchen, Rita and several other daughters (Luna, Luan, Lucy, Lana, and Lisa) are eating lunch when Leni walks up to the table and joins her.)
Rita: How was school, girls?
Luna: It's not school! It's a fucking joke. We're not even learning anything.
Rita: I know this has all been really hard on you, girls. Do you wanna talk about it?
Leni: No, we're fine, Mom! You know, I'm strong. I'm just totes worried about how this is all affecting weaker kids like, you know, like Lincoln.
Rita: Yeah. Well, it's nice you care about our brother, but if you need to talk... I know this is really hard on everyone.
Lynn Sr.: [Walks in happily] Well, that's it, guys. My work for today is done. [takes a seat inbetween the girls] Oh, hang on. Sorry, uh, didn't somebody say the pandemic special was a bad idea?
Rita: Look, I wasn't saying we wouldn't make money, I was just saying maybe that's not what should matter right now, honey!
Lynn Sr.: Maybe you're right. Do you know anyone personally who's dying of COVID?
Rita: Yes! My aunt Ruth, who is in the hospital!
Lucy: (sighs) Aunt Ruth, for someone as old as her, living with her was like hell.
Lisa: Hold it, fellas. All my father is saying is that they can't let some dirty virus from "China" completely upend our lives and shut us down!
Rita: Lisa, do not quote the President in front of the other girls!
Lynn Sr.: Wait, Lisa's right, we went to China, remember? Last season? We went there to show them some of our finest cooking skills and ended up hanging out with Disney and Mickey Mouse. You remember all that? I know what China's like. Doesn't surprise us all this shit came from there.
Rita: Oh yeah. I must have lost my mind there for a moment.
Lola: [off screen] We're going back to school!
Lynn Sr.: Huh?
Rita: What was that, Lola?
Lola: [peeks in] They're gonna let us go back to school! [runs out]
(Meanwhile, in the living room, The TV is on and Lola runs in to watch the news. The parents and all the other girls join in.)
Johnny Elaine: The Royal Woods County School District is holding a parent meeting tomorrow, and officials are hopeful that students can return to school on Monday.
Leni: Wow, that's great!
Luan: Definitely.
Luna: Oh, I don't know if this is a good idea, sisters.
Johnny Elaine: The openings come on the heels that scientists are getting closer to finding the origins of the COVID pandemic.
Chief Scientist: Y-yes, we've been able to trace the virus and confirm that it did, in fact, come from a seedy part of China.
Lynn Sr.: Wow. [turns and walks towards the kitchen.]
Chief Scientist: And, in fact, we've pinpointed the virus to a certain bat in Wuhan.
Lynn Sr.: (stops in his tracks and looks back) A bat in Wuhan?
Chief Scientist: What we still don't understand is, how did a transmitted disease get from a bat to a human? How can a virus jump species like that? We just don't know.
(Lynn Sr. and Rita flash back to their China trip last year, on which they're traveling with a bunch of other American companies to pitch their skills to the Chinese. They remember the landing and being caught for the alcohol in Rita's luggage...] Hello. Oh, Oh hey! [...their time in a Chinese prison making goods, their trial at a tribunal...] You could use some alcohol, China! [...celebrating the discharge with Mickey Mouse]''
Rita: Here's to us.
Mickey: And here's to China. Haha.
Rita, Lynn Sr. and Mickey, To China!
[Later on, during their trip in China, Lynn Sr., Rita and Mickey are at a bar downing some drinks]
Lynn Sr.: Wow, you sure know how to party, Mick!
Mickey: Oh my God! Look at her! Haha! She's so hot! [Lynn Sr. and Rita get a good look at the female Mickey's looking at]
Rita: I think that's a bat.
Mickey: Yeah! It's a bat! It's a mouse, with wings!
(Outside the bar, Lynn Sr. and Rita wander the narrow streets looking for Mickey.)
Rita: Hey, Mick? Where'd you go? [They stumble upon Mickey playing with the bat]
Mickey: Haha, haha. Oh boy!
Rita and Lynn: Oooh!
Mickey: Haha! fellas, you gotta try it! Go ahead, take a turn!
Lynn Sr.: (takes his turn and thoroughly enjoys it with Rita following along. Lynn Sr. then snaps out of the memory)
Leni: If they're letting us go back to school, then soon we can get back to everything!
Luna: I mean, doesn't this mean things are finally going back to normal? Pops?
Lynn Sr.: Oh, um yes. Things are going to go back to normal. I need to go do something real quick. Gotta go! (He runs to the kitchen, Lynn Jr. becomes angry about the fact that they have to go back to school.)
Lynn Jr.: What the fuck did they say? Did they say we're going to go back to school?
Rita: Yes. They said they were going back to school starting on Monday.
(Lynn Jr. becomes enraged by this.)
Lynn Jr.: We can't go back to school, there's a fucking PANDEMIC!
Rita: But Lynn, they're talking about maybe staggering you all every other day.
Lynn Jr.: They can't do that!
Rita: Lynn, you're going to be able to be with all the other kids again!
Lynn Jr.: Oh no, I see! There's all this horrible stuff going on in the world, but apparently, Lynn Jr.'s life doesn't matter! I'm heading on over to Ni-Ni's house to talk to Stinkoln and Lori about this shit! [she storms out of the house]
Rita: (gives chase) Lynn, you can't-
Lynn Jr.: (forces her back) Ahp! Get back! Get back! Six feet, Mom! Six fucking feet! (She makes sure she doesn't move, then leaves.)
(Meanwhile, at the Walt Disney Company in Burbank, California in the corporate office, Mickey is fielding calls in a polite manner.)
Mickey: Then why don't we turn Epcot Center into a little home for visitors to be at. If we can't get people on the rides, then maybe we should upgrade them (He hangs up that phone and switches to another.) Come on, boys, we need more Mandalorian ASAP. If you want a coffee break, that's all right. (hangs up that phone) Jesus Christ. We're dying here. [answers his cell phone] Who is this on the phone right now?
Lynn Sr.: Hey, Lynn Sr. from Royal Woods?
Mickey: What is it, Lynn? I'm in lockdown right now so you might...
Lynn Sr.: Look, um, do you remember when Rita and I were playing with that bat in Wuhan?
Mickey: I've played with a lot of bats!
Lynn Sr.: Well, I've only played around with one! I remember. Right after, I got really sick, and this was all back in October.
Mickey: Jesus Christ, you bitch! You both started all this!
Lynn Sr.: You told me and my wife Rita to play around with the bat!
Mickey: You didn't quarantine yourself after you got home?!
Lynn Sr.: Nobody knew anything about COVID when we played around with the bat! I thought we just came back from China with the flu! Look, we can't let scientists find that bat. My daughters are crazy. If our daughters find out we started the pandemic, they're gonna be total bitches about it. [Mickey is stunned]
(Meanwhile, Lynn Jr. runs through the neighborhood while wearing a mask on her chin, running through a couple walks their toy dog and a jogger that goes towards a park exit. She then reaches the Santiago house where Lincoln and Lori are living and knocks on the door. Then she bangs on the door with the pole. Then she bangs even harder on the door. Lori opens the front door with Lincoln and Ronnie Anne standing behind her.)
Lynn Jr.: Dude, you are not gonna believe this.
Lori: What the hell are you doing here, Lynn?! Can't you see we're supposed to be fucking quarantined?!
Lynn Jr.: [barges in] Is Arturo home, Lori? We need to talk to a lawyer! Mr. Santiago?!
Lori: Lynn, get out of my damn house! If you wanna talk, we can go outside!
Lynn Jr.: They're gonna try and make us go back to school.
Lori: [covers her mouth and nose under her pink shirt, Lincoln and Ronnie follow suit.] Lynn, goddamn it, you could be spreading germs to us! You could even infect my son, Lincoln! [They back away]
Lynn Jr.: Maybe you didn't hear me, guys! They want us to go back. To school!
Ronnie Anne: So?
Lynn Jr.: "So?" What the hell is-? You really wanna go back to that slavery?!
Ronnie Anne: I want an education! I want to be able to compete for a job when I get older.
Lynn Jr.: You crazy, psychotic... Stinkoln, Ronnie, we need to get a lawyer to stop schools from forcing us back! Now, whatever your messed-up beliefs are about "wanting to go to school!"
Lincoln: Goddamn, Junior, You really wanna spend the next fucking year on Zoom?
Lynn Jr.: You don't have to be on Zoom, there's a million ways around it! Mark my words, Stinkoln: first they'll force us back to school, then they'll take social distancing away from us completely, and I'll be out of my room having to hang out with you fellas!
Lori: You're literally out of your room hanging out with us now!
Lynn Jr.: [realizes this] Oh my God. They won't get away with this bullshit!
(Meanwhile, somewhere else in Royal Woods, Lynn Sr. and Rita walk down Main Street with their masks on, deep in thought. They hear a woman sobbing. They look over to see an elderly woman weeping as her husband is carried out on a gurney into an ambulance. They both walk by the town cemetery, where he sees a casket lowered into the ground. They then see something that astonishes them: Red Robin going out of business due to COVID-19. As booth benches are being carried into trucks, Death appears and points to the interior. They both turn away and feel miserable.)
Man with Orange Shirt: Hey! Excuse me [Lynn Sr. and Rita turn to see him, and he approaches them], y-you're Lynn Sr. and Rita Loud, right?
Lynn Sr.: Uh... yes, we are.
Man with Orange Shirt: Yeah. Look man, I just wanna say thanks, you know? The Pandemic special is really amazing.
Lynn Sr.: Oh yeah. Cool. Thank you.
Man with Orange Shirt: Nono, listen. You... you're both awesome after all! All this horrible stuff going on and... well, you both come along and try to fight it!
Lynn Sr.: Okay, thanks.
Rita: Wow. I never thought it would be good. But it actually is.
Man with Orange Shirt: Y-you see, I... I lost my wife... to the virus. My kids, I... I don't even know how to talk to them, you know. Just... just thank God for your Pandemic Special. Thank God. It's a great special, it really is.
Rita: Wow. Surprising.
Man with Orange Shirt: No, it's an awesome special. And i-and it was a great idea to do a special.
Lynn Sr.: Okay okay, thanks. That's all we need to hear! [they both walk away]
To be continued in Part 3...