Chapter Two

- A Father And His Daughter.

I went down to the lake at sunrise, the same as every other day, to complete my morning ritual before the Seer woke. Other than sleeping, it was the only time I was away from him and I cherished the time as the sun painted the sky dusky orange. Sat on my usual tree stump, legs wide, I tossed my head forward and twisted my dripping hair between my hands. When I'd wrung most of the lake water out, I gave my hair one last shake before throwing my head back, hair flipping behind my back. I gasped and almost toppled backwards off the tree.

"Well look at you."

Ragnar Lothbrok stood beaming so widely his eyes creased at the corners. I gaped at him, stunned into silence. Those three winters apart had not been kind to my father, he had deeper lines and more scars than I remembered and his head was shaven now, decorated with ink tattoos. But his eyes radiated a warmth I would recognise anywhere and when he beckoned me over, my legs were moving as if it was muscle memory. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel the bristle of his beard against the crown of my head. I realised then how long I had gone without an affectionate touch.

He pulled away but kept hold of my arms, angling me to get a better look. "You look more like your mother than your mother does."

I smiled up at him, indulging in being on the receiving end of something other than disappointment or impatience – the only two things I was certain the Seer felt around me. I could of sworn I saw pride in my fathers eyes as he looked at me and I wanted to hug him again. But questions were crawling their way through the elated haze in my mind.

"You shouldn't be here," I said quietly, as if I could be overheard. "It's forbidden for you to see me until the Seer decides I'm ready to go back to Kattegat."

He tilts his head in a shrug, the familiar smirk of his tugging the corner of his mouth. "When they next speak to you, tell the gods I am very sorry."

I couldn't help but laugh and a weight lifted from my chest. He always managed to make Bjorn and I laugh as children. We could forget any worries or childish troubles with one of his jokes. My heart stung at the thought of my brother, and then my mother, but it disappeared just as quickly as I cherished the feel of my father so close.

"Then you must have a good reason for upsetting the gods and going against the Seer's word?" I asked as he sat down on the grass bank, truthfully not really caring at all if he had a good reason. I couldn't deny the happiness I felt that he was here. I lowered myself from the tree trunk to sit on the ground next to him.

He leant his elbows on the tops of his knees, twiddling a stem between his fingers. "We're sailing to attack Francia tomorrow." he said, the sarcasm in his voice melting away.

I'd heard some about the first time my father and his men had reached this new land. People had spoke of it when they came for guidance or a reading from the Seer. I was always shooed away when people from the city came out into the mountains to meet with him but I tended to pick chores that could be done nearby, close enough to overhear. Of course when I asked the Seer about it, he told me to stop eavesdropping on things that were of no concern to me.

I looked across at him but he stared into the grass. Suddenly I felt like a silly child.

"You've come because you want to know your fate in the attack," I said, swallowing the embarrassment I felt. "You would be best going to the Seer, I'm not sure I-" A thought hit me. "I had a dream, a vision of Rollo, it must have something to do with your plans. The way he...I don't fully understand but I think he-"

"Oh I'm sure I'll see my brother soon," he cut me off and reached a calloused hand to touch my damp hair, his palm against the side of my face. "But I didn't come to ask of my fate Gyda, I came to see my only daughter before I leave."

"Why?" I asked dumbly as his hand dropped away from my face.

"I'm getting old, going soft," he shot me an impish look out of the corner of his eye. Then a sad smile flickered across his face. "And realising my failings. Maybe this time I'll meet Odin himself before I see you again."

My eyebrows furrowed and I gave his shoulder a push. "Don't say that. You will return home, I know it. The gods will make sure of it."

"Maybe we make our own fate, who's to say it's all down to the gods."

I stared at him, jarred by his words. My father had always been devoted to our gods for as long as I could remember. What had happened over these recent years for him to disrespect our beliefs and speak so carelessly now?

"But," I hesitated, "our fates have all already been written."

He tilted his head, the glint of the sun on the lake reflecting in his eyes. "But maybe not sealed." He dropped to his side, propping his elbow against the ground and leaning his head in his hand. "Or maybe I have just taken too many blows to the head."

His smile disarmed me, but even as I returned it, his words still echoed in my head.

"You were longer than usual."

I winced before I turned around to face the Seer, who was sat in his usual chair, incense smoke rising around him like ghostly serpents.

"I was tracking a deer but it got away." The lie rolled off my tongue with more ease than I expected. He had no way of knowing about my visit from Ragnar but the longer he took to respond, doubt crept its way up inside me. Surely the gods didn't show him everything?

"Shame," he said finally and I felt like I could breathe normally again.

Keen to avoid any more conversation on the matter, I ducked under the chimes hung in the archway and strode in the direction of my cot.

"There is a reason why you must live out here, in isolation."

I stopped mid-stride.

"You must commit your soul to the gods," he continued. "Only then will your vision's be forthcoming, and your dreams become clear. But you must also learn to live without the constraints of duty, loyalty or love. To be a messenger of the gods is to live a solitary life."

I turn around then, my mind reeling. Those few sentences were the most explanation he had ever given.

"So..." I willed my voice to keep steady. "I'm bound to living out here, away from my family and every one I knew, so I can forget what that feels like? So that I can learn to accept to a life without love or friendship?"

"So that you can fulfil your duty to the gods, as you are fated to. The burden of care for others and your own desires deafen you to their messages. Only when you can rid yourself of these thing, will you be ready."

I felt as if his words were stones, each one hitting me as hard as the last. I would only be ready to return to my home and to my family, when I no longer cared for them? That was the life I was destined for? Chosen to fulfil? Were the gods punishing me?

I looked at the Seer, his black stained lips downturned, his long pale fingers hovering over the incense that burned on the table in front of him, staring eyelessly into the space between us. It seemed the gods had been showing me my own fate all along, and it was sitting right in front of me.