The Story of Destiel

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XXX

"Dean and I do share a more profound bond." She had claimed, if not but a bit exasperated that she had to even mention it.

The next three years they spent fighting together side by side and growing closer. At first, Dean assumed it was just like his relationship with Jo, could be flirty but mostly familial. But as months turned into years he started to think she didn't feel the same. He learned after a while he began to understand that it wasn't that she didn't feel the same. Heaven had drilled Melania of anti-human relations into her so she was scared to act on her feelings. He wasn't going to push her. She would come to him if and when she was ready.

Or that was the plan.

But then he became a demon and he didn't see the point in waiting anymore.

So he ditched Crowly and went hunting for his angel.

It didn't take him long to find her. He didn't even have to look really. She was just a phone call away.

"Hello." her voice sounded strained on the other end.

"Hey there angel." he gruffed out, putting as much gravel to it as he could.

"Dean?" her voice pitched in surprise and exhaustion letting him know just how bad his angel was suffering.

"Where are you?" he asked, a slight demand to his voice.

"Where am I?" she echoed, clueless. "Dean, where are you? Sam has been looking for you. You vanished after the fight with Metatron. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine angel," Dean assured her. "I know Sammy is looking for me, but I don't want him to find me."

"Dean, please, go home. I'll meet you there. Whatever happened we can fix it."

"Fix it." he chuckled. "You don't even know what's wrong with me."

"Dean, listen to - " she cut herself off as she began to cough uncontrollably.

"Tell me where you are, angel. Right now." His tone made it clear that there was no arguing.

She didn't say anything for a long while.

Then she sighed and relented her location.

"I'll be there in a minute, just got to pick up some medicine first." with that he hung up eyeing the angel sitting in a cafe just across the street.

XXX

Thinking to be just a little polite, at least in the start, Dean knocked on the door to the studio apartment and waited for his angel to answer. He knew it would be a shock for her once she realized. He also knew she would realize the second she saw him. And she most certainly did.

At first, she tiredly smiled at him, but the second she got a good look at him her eyes widened.

"Angel." he addressed.

Jumping in her panic she rushed to close the door on him. But it was effortless for him to shove it open and enter. So instead she tried to run, but he caught her. Grabbing her by her upper arms he backed her into the nearest wall.

"You're not Dean." she spat. "Get out of him!"

"It's me, angel," he promised. "Look closer at my soul, you know it's me."

Shaking her head, she looked away.

"No, you can't be."

"I am," he told her, stepping just a bit closer, admiring her in just a blue bathrobe. "You know that."

"Dean." she whimpered, tearing up as she looked back at him. "How?"

"When I died, the mark turned me." he informed, tilting his head to keep her eyes. "Is it that bad?"

"Dean," she shook her head again. "You are an abomination! This is the worst outcome."

"You'd rather I'd be dead?"

"At least you'd still be you." she spat back.

His grip tightened making her wince.

"That hurts angel." he hissed. "I thought I meant more to you than that."

She locked eyes, making sure he felt the full brunt of her words.

"You mean more to me than anything in this world or any other." she urged. "But this isn't you. Not the real you."

"Your right, this is a better me." he smirked.

"Dean-"

"Think about it angel." he insisted. "You and me, we've always had this 'profound bond' as you put it. Now, you think that I'm your charge or whatever and that's all there is to it. But you and I know that isn't all. You were meant for me angel, and I for you."

"Dean stop." she struggled a bit more.

"Now that I'm a demon, we can be together forever. I'll never die, same as you."

"You're wrong." to prove her point, another coughing fit wracked her body, bending forward.

He cradled to him gently as she had her fit, soothing her back.

"There, there, angel." he cooed.

"As you can see," she petered off, glancing up at him. "I'm dying. The grace I took is fading. I have maybe a month left."

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll take care of you." he assured, leaning her back against the wall and pulling a vile out of his coat pocket. "Take it."

She stared at the glowing blue substance inside it and shook her head emphatically.

"No, Dean no."

"Don't make me force you." he warned.

"I won't do it." she snarled, breaking off into more coughs.

"You don't have a choice." uncapping the vial, he pressed himself against her fully pressing her harshly into the wall and gripping her chin so she had no choice to open her mouth. "There we go."

He smiled as the grace flowed easily into her no matter how she struggled to keep it out.

"Don't fight it, baby." he soothed, pressing even harder.

Her eyes lit up with power as the grace-filled her before fading into her natural blue.

"Feel better?" Dean smiled.

"Yes." she snarled, using her new power to push him across the room so he was sprawling on the floor.

He laughed as she stalked closer, jumping back to his feet.

"That's the girl I know." he smirked.

"I'm taking you back to the bunker," she growled. "Sam and I will bring you back."

"And if I don't want to be brought back?"

They were now circling each other, squaring off.

"You don't have a choice." she shot back, throwing the first punch.

He blocked, pushing her back. She was pulling her punches and he knew it. She wasn't willing to hurt him, but he was. If this went on too long and he didn't get his way, he would force her into submission.

Luckily that wasn't the case.

At first, they were just throwing each other across the room, but then their fight was getting more heated, and closer. They were now wrestling on the ground knocking over furniture and rubbing bits together. He delighted in the contact while she fought it. But then they paused. She was under him, he was pressing into her again, grinding really, making her lose focus.

"C'mon angel, we've both wanted this for a long time." he breathed against her lips. "Just give in to it. Let me have you."

"I will never lie with a demon." she gritted.

"Really?" he questioned, grinding harder, making her whimper. "Because I think I can get you to change your mind."

He kept his weight on her as he forced open her robe and started groping her breasts.

"Dean," she whined, turning her head away. "Stop."

"Say it one more time and I will." he told her before quickly ducking his head and pressing his tongue into her folds.

She couldn't get out any words, just cried to the heavens.

He smirked against her and kept up his harassments.

Soon enough she was a writhing murmuring mess on the floor, easy for him to hold and take.

"Been waiting for this for a long time, Cas." he moaned to her. "I'm going to take my time."

And he did.

For a whole month, he had her in every way imaginable and ways that can't be. On her bed, against the wall, in the shower, on the floor, and even on the ceiling. He took her however he wanted and she could barely fight him. Because she had wanted this too. And without her true grace fighting the human instincts she accumulated was near impossible. He took complete advantage of this. Fully embracing his demon influence.

Her grace was fading fast though, so he had to let her rest after the thirtieth day.

"Rest up angel," he told her, tucking her in gently. "I'll be back soon."

"Dean, don't do this," she begged, reaching for him. "Just stay with me, till the end."

"I'm not letting you die." he snarled. "Not after I finally got you."

"Dean-" but he was already taking off out the door.

It didn't take long for him to find an angel that wanted his head, or for him to take his grace. He came back with haste, only to find the apartment sans Castiel and the first blade- which he had foolishly left with the angel thinking her too week to do much.

"Cas," he called, ducking into the bathroom. "CASTIEL!"

She was gone, it was gone, and he knew it.

Roaring, he pulled out his phone.

"Dean." she answered on the first ring.

"Where are you?" he snarled. "What did you do with the blade?"

"I'm at the bunker, with Sam. The blade is with Crowley."

"Get it back and get your ass back here."

"No."

"Castiel-"

"If you want me, come and get me."

He threw the phone against the wall and ported just outside the bunker.

"I'm not letting you get away." he snarled.

He never had a chance.

Sam and Cas had him locked up in the dungeon within minutes of him entering the bunker.

Thankfully, he was cured.

XXX

Dean couldn't even bring himself to look at Cas when he was human again. He felt sick with himself. How could he have done that to her?

"Dean." she called to him, cornering him in the kitchen.

He kept his back to her, staring down into the bacon and eggs he was cooking up.

"We need to talk." she urged, now right beside him.

"There is nothing to talk about." Dean hissed.

"Yes there is, quite a lot actually." she insisted.

"What do you want me to say, Cas?" he demanded, facing her and throwing the spatula on the counter. "That it wasn't me? That the demon me was this other thing and I'm not to blame for what happened? You and I know that is crap." his anger had her shrinking back, but he couldn't stop now. It had all bubbled to the surface and was now overflowing. "That was me, all of it. I was a monster and I did what monsters do. I hunted you down, and I forced myself on you."- he was gonna be sick- "And I liked it. Hell, I enjoyed it so damn much that I couldn't stop. There was not an ounce of humanity in me to stop me. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Hey!" Sam interjected, rushing through the door. "What's going on?"

Cas didn't answer, she just turned on her heels and marched out the room, then out the bunker all together Sam close behind calling out to her.

But Dean knew, she was gone.

"What the hell was that?" he demanded once he was back in the kitchen.

"Nothing." Dean shook his head.

"Nothing?" Sam snorted. "Dean, you have been stalking all around the bunker ever since we cured you. You won't even look at her. She won't tell me what happened and neither will you, but that isn't gonna cut it anymore. I need to know what happened."

"No, you don't." Dean growled, tossing the skillet into the trash.

"Enough already." the younger Winchester had enough with all this angst and aggression, he put himself between the door and Dean and squared his shoulders. "No matter what it was I won't judge. Dean, you need to talk about this and get it out because it is eating you up completely. And I can't help either of you unless I know what's going on. So please, just tell me."

"Sammy, just drop it." Dean snarled. "I mean it."

"What was it, Dean?"

Sam was pushing now, and Dean knew he was doing it with the full understanding that his older brother might just lash out with a fist.

But he kept going.

"What did you do to her? Did you throw her around the room? Cut her up with the first blade?"

"I would never." Dean hissed, now turning his full Winchester glare on the younger.

"Then what? What was it, Dean? What was so terrible that you both can't talk about it?"

"I raped her!" Dean snapped, realizing a second too late what he said and slumping defeated against the island.

"What?" Sam looked so confused, the words were not connecting and Dean didn't want to say them again.

"You heard me." Dean murmured, the tears finally breaking free.

Out of his periphery, he saw Sam put one hand on his hip and the other rubbing at his chin. He was working it out, letting the words play over and over again until it finally clicked. And when it did he finally let his eyes fall on his brother.

"Dean, I'm... I'm sorry."

"Stow it." Dean gritted. "You wanted to know, now you know. Don't go throwing your sympathy at a monster."

"Dean, your not-"

"Shut up." Dean snapped again standing to his full height. "It was me. That whole thing was me. I've been in love with her for years now, and when I became a demon all the decent gentleman crap went out the window and I just took what I wanted."

"Dean."

"And you turned me back." The tears were falling faster now. "You turned me back and now all I feel is sick. I can't even look at myself anymore without wanting to punch the mirror. I want to throw myself into Lucifer's cage and let him have at it because that is what I deserve."

"No." Sam urged taking a step forward only to pause when Dean tensed. "Dean, no. That… I wouldn't wish that on our worst enemies."

"I'm worse than them." Dean snarled. "How would you feel if you had done something like this to Jess?"

He knew he had his brother there, Sam couldn't say anything and just looked at his shoes.

"That's what I thought." he ticked. "Don't pretend that what I did wasn't awful. I don't want Cas here ever again. I want her as far from me as she can get so that I can never hurt her again. I still have this mark, I can still become a demon. Or worse, maybe next time I'll be human. So I want her to be on another planet if she can manage that. Anything to keep her safe from me."

With that he marched out and down the hall, unable to stop the tears as they rained down his cheeks.

XXX

They hadn't seen Cas in months.

Last they heard she had gotten Metatron out of heaven prison so she could find her grace.

Meanwhile, Sam and he were working on finding a way to get rid of the mark.

"What if we gave the mark back to Cain?" Sam suddenly said one day.

"What?" it took Dean a moment to process something that wasn't words on a page.

"I mean, he gave it to you, couldn't he take it back?"

"Do you think he would want to? Especially after he gave in and killed all those demons. Give him the mark back and the first blade and you got the most unstoppable monster we've ever dealt with. Do you want that?"

"Well no, but what if we offer him an alternative."

"And that would be?"

"What if we locked him in this thing I read about, the Malec box? It's nearly impossible to get out so he couldn't hurt anybody."

"There is no way he would go along with that. That is a fate worse than hell. The maddening boredom alone. He won't go with it."

"... I don't know, maybe Rowena can help us. I mean she tried to kill you only to find that the curse won't let you die. This thing probably scares her just as much as it scares the rest of us. It would be in her best interest to help us get rid of it."

"What is she gonna do?"

"Maybe she has a spell that will knock him out." Sam shrugged. "Lock him in a dream world or something."

Dean stared at him for a long moment before giving a small huh.

"Okay, let's give Crowley a call." he shrugged, reaching for his phone at the same moment the bunker door opened.

The brothers shared a look then cautiously got up guns tucked behind their backs.

"Cas?" Sam asked when they reached the war room.

"Hello." she said sheepishly.

Her long dark hair was a lot shinier than it had been and her eyes more vibrant, Dean noted leading him to one conclusion.

"You got your grace back." he said with a turs nod.

"Yes." she nodded back, averting his gaze.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "You could have just called."

"Dean." Sam chastised.

"No, it's fine." she assured him. "I didn't just come here because of that."

She had her arms crossed in front of her keeping her trench coat close to her body but not enough to reveal any shape of her.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked.

"I…" she sighed, trying to figure out how to put into words what has happened.

Instead, she just took a deep breath and opened her coat. What greeted them was her usual outfit underneath only with a bit more pudge in the stomach area than she normally has.

Angels don't gain weight.

"Cas?" Sam gaped where Dean could only stare.

"I wouldn't come unless I had to." she told them. "After what happened, Dean made it very clear he didn't want me here. But the angels and Crowley are hunting me."

"Cas." Dean choked. "What is that?"

She took another deep breath, placing her hand on the bump and rubbing it in small circles.

"It's a baby." she told him, becoming a bit wistful.

"Whose?" Dean hissed out, praying for and cursing the answer he knew was coming.

"Mine," she told him, finally locking eyes with him, clear skies meeting rolling green hills. "And yours."

It was his.

Dean was completely unsure of what to do at this moment.

Castiel, his Castiel, the woman, the angel he had hoped to be with for the rest of his life, was pregnant with his child. His half Knight of Hell child. What in the hell does he do here. Pull out his gun and shoot it?

Oh, that just made him feel so very ill. Almost as sick as when he regained his humanity and remembered what he did to her.

This was his child. Yes, it was a part-demon but he had met one of those. Jesse was a sweet kid despite his parents. But it was also part angel- which wasn't any better now that he thought about it. But it was part him, the human him, and part Cas.

It was their child.

And their child couldn't be inherently evil.

Not when they could make them so much more.

"Dean?" she asked, looking scared, covering herself back up and backing up a bit. "Please say something."

"I…" he couldn't put it into words, everything was just crashing together. "Cas, I'm so sorry."

She seemed to expect that, or at least partially did. It still seemed to disappoint her. She crossed her arms over her belly.

"What happened, happened. We can't change it." she told him. "We have to move on and focus on what is happening now. Right now, I'm pregnant with our child. Right now heaven and hell are hunting me down to either kill my baby or take it from me. Right now I need to know if you will please help me."

Neither brothers said anything at first. Dean could feel Sam looking between them both seeing his brother was slowly unraveling and Cas was so on edge she was humming with power. Which also made him realize that a baby of an angel and Knight of Hell could give the mother a power boost while still pregnant. Right now Cas was most likely the most dangerous thing they have ever faced. But regardless, she was still Cas. She was their family. And she needed help. Dean knew that, but he still couldn't form proper words. Thankfully Sam had his back.

"What do you need from us Cas?" The youngest Winchester asked.

"I just…" she sighed, suddenly looking so tired and slumping into the nearest chair. "I need a place to lay low for now. But ultimately I need a way to keep my child safe."

"We'll find it." Sam promised. "In the meantime, this is your home as much as it is ours. You can stay as long as you need."

Cas nodded her thanks, glancing at Dean before looking away just as fast.

This needed to be put to rest.

There was too much going on for them to beat around this. They needed to talk. They needed to come to an understanding. They had a child coming. They needed to stand together in this.

"Sam, can you give us a moment?" he finally said. "I need to talk to Cas."

He saw Sam look between them again before nodding.

Dean waited till he knew Sam was out of earshot before he approached the angel. Slowly and calmly so as not to scare her. Once he was right in front of her he pulled out a chair and sat before her, tilting his head to catch her eyes.

"Cas-"

"I won't get rid of her." she suddenly cried, biting her trembling lip. "I know what she is. I know what she could become. But I will not throw her away. She is part of you. I can't… I could never kill a part of you, even a small part. She is mine. Please don't make me give her up."

It all slammed into him, and he knew that is where her mind would go. He doesn't have a good track record with these sorts of things. But still, something completely off-topic caught his attention.

"She?" he breathed.

Unable to stop herself, Cas smiled a small watery smile looking down at her belly and rubbing it gently.

"I don't exactly know how I know." she told him. "I just do. She's my little girl."

"Our little girl." he assured her, taking her hand. "Cas, I'm so sorry for what I did. I should have talked to you, I should have-"

"Dean." she hushed. "I forgave you a long time ago. What hurt most is that you couldn't even look at me. I know why, but it made me feel like somehow you were disgusted by me now. For being touched in such a way by a demon."

"Cas, no." Dean felt sick all over again. "I would never think that. You are still the pure angel I love. I just… I still remember what I did. How it felt, the look in your eyes. I can't help but get a little excited at the memories. I've wanted you for so long. By my side. In my life as my partner and lover. But the way it happened, the fact that it was neither of our choices. That was taken from both of us, and I was the reason for that. That's what gets to me. That's why I can't look at you. Because I just remember that I took so much from you. That I hurt you in such a way. And god forbid I go dark side again, it could happen again. It will happen again, I know. That scares me. That's why I chased you away. Because I thought you were safer without me. And now with our daughter… Cas, I could hurt her."

"You won't." she insisted.

"You can't stop me." Dean shook his head. "No one could. But either way, now I can't let you out of my sight. Not with Heaven and Hell on your ass again. I won't let them touch you."

"Dean-" she suddenly gasped, a broader smile coming to her face.

"What?" Dean asked, panicking just for a moment.

"She's kicking." Cas hummed, catching his look of wonder. "Do you want to feel?"

Flustered, Dean began to shake his head before she reached for his hand and placed it on her belly. Wonder became aw as he felt his daughter under his hand, moving for his hand. It was like she was reaching out for him.

"She senses you." Cas mused. "She loves you."

"How do you know?" he breathed, tears pricking his eyes.

"I just do." she giggled. "I feel it… do you want to feel it?"

"Is that even possible?"

Instead of answering, she simply smiled and let her power flow as her eyes glowed. Instantly Dean was filled with memories of Cas and the baby. Of when she found out and how scared she was. When she felt her move for the first time and how she was filled with overwhelming love. To now, how she could feel her daughter stir every time she heard her daddy's voice.

All this only made Dean tear up more.

He couldn't say it out loud, not yet, but he knew, he loved her too.

XXX

Thank you for giving this a read.

Next chapter will be out next Sunday.

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See you in the next chapter.