A/N: Hey guys and gals! Sorry for such a delay on the second half of this chapter. I had some super serial real world stuff come up and this kind of got pushed by the wayside for a few months. Hopefully you're all still interested!
Especially you, Nari! I'm so, so sorry, love, that this has taken me to long to finish for you. I hope you're still excited to see how it ends, finally? And don't worry, if I ever get you as my giftee again, I will never make you wait this long again. I promise!
Big big shout out to my best ever, Beej88, for being my ever-present bea-ta and helping me to add all the necessary angst. Angst is not my forte, (although I do think this fic helped me get a little better) and Beej helped me add just the right amount!
Also thank you to ReiOki for helping me figure this outline out and for her betaing skills! This was so much fun getting to work with her on this!
oOo
Usagi practically tripped over the trimming of the threshold in her rush to get into her house. She impatiently pulled at her fingers to slide her gloves off, feeling restless in her determination. It was only as she was slipping out of her jacket, replacing her shoes with slippers, that she finally remembered that she'd made plans to go shopping with the girls late this afternoon.
She cringed, mentally cursing her forgetfulness before deciding that she'd send them a text to apologize for being a no-show. Motoki's words, and the ones she'd stupidly tossed in Mamoru's face, still rang hollowly in the cavity of her chest. She felt awful, and she was willing to risk Rei's wrath if it meant that she could make it right.
Sighing, a pang of regret and something else she didn't care to examine too closely fluttering in the pit of her stomach, she turned to make her way up to her room.
"Hey, Usagi!" Ikuko called from the living room just as Usagi's foot hit the bottom step of the staircase. "Cold out there?"
Usagi stopped, making her way to the couch where her mother was sitting instead. "Yes, Mama. It's getting cold outside." She glanced up at the television and frowned. "What are you watching?"
Ikuko smiled. "Your father took Shingo out for a while. You know, guys night," she giggled, shaking her head. "So I'm enjoying a cheesy romantic Christmas movie and knitting him a new scarf. He lost his at work. Again," she rolled her eyes. "Men!" She turned her attention back to the movie as her fingers went back to knitting. "Did you have a good day today?"
Usagi stared at the scarf, brow furrowed in contemplation as she watched as her mother's fingers moved, expertly weaving the yarn in and out of itself to create something beautiful. Usagi straightened, perking up as an idea began to take root. Over the years, her mother had crafted some of the prettiest handknit scarves, blankets, and hats that Usagi had ever seen, lovingly gifting her creations to family. Usagi was always delighted, heart brimming with excitement, every time her mother made something new for her. There was nothing in the world better than receiving a gift handmade with love. It was perfect. And if she really thought about it, she'd never seen Mamoru wear a scarf either.
"Mama," she asked softly, "can you teach me how to knit?"
Ikuko blinked, clearly startled by her request. Which, truthfully, Usagi understood. She'd never shown an interest in learning to knit before.
Though confusion was still etched into Ikuko's expression, she smiled. "Sure." She scooched over on the couch, giving Usagi room to sit. Reaching down, she pulled a bag into her lap, searching inside. "Let's see. I've got different colors here, Usa. Which would you like? I have black? Red? Blue? Orange? Wait, I know!" She pulled out a skein of wool, a victorious smile on her face. "Pink!"
Usagi's eyes widened, delighted by the vibrancy of the pink wool, and she had to fight back the urge to snatch the gorgeous color from her mother's hands. She cleared her throat, biting her lip as she inwardly reminded herself that this scarf wasn't for her. And as hilarious as it was to picture gifting brooding Mamoru with a pink garment, she was trying to make amends here. Plus, she wanted him to like it. Besides, pink would clash with his salmon-colored shirt.
Instead, she shook her head. "Actually, Mama, I'll take the black."
Her mother's eyes narrowed, lifting an eyebrow in question. But she dropped the pink skein back into the bag and pulled out the black, handing it over, along with a pair of knitting needles instead.
Usagi laughed nervously; the heat of an embarrassed blush fanned across her cheeks as she squirmed under the scrutiny of her mother's probing stare. Thankfully, Ikuko didn't press the issue as she proceeded to patiently guide her in the basics of knitting. Usagi's brow wrinkled in concentration as she diligently followed her mother's instruction, the tip of her tongue poised between her teeth, as she carefully twisted the yarn around the needle, threaded it under, and pulled it through. After a few times, a couple of snags, and a little bit of recalibration, Usagi smiled with pride. She was totally getting it!
In fact, now that she'd gotten the hang of it, the movements repetitive enough that she didn't have to concentrate so hard, her thoughts began to drift. They finally settled on the recipient of her gift, and her heart involuntarily fluttered as an image of Mamoru popped into her head. She frowned as she envisioned the intensity in cobalt blue eyes, his expression sculpted in that sarcastic teasing way that drove her insane while also increasing her heart rate in a way she didn't really understand. Would Mamoru even like a handmade scarf? She worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she twisted the yarn around the needles, suddenly second-guessing herself.
"So," Ikuko sighed, her eyes moving between the movie and her scarf. "Who is he?"
Usagi paused, her heart jumping as she swallowed. "Who is who?"
"The guy you're making the scarf for." Ikuko gave her a sly sideways smile, and Usagi blushed, quickly averting her gaze.
"W-who said this was for a guy?" she stuttered, clearing her throat nervously.
Ikuko rolled her eyes with a breathy laugh. "Usagi Tsukino chooses the color black instead of pink?" she drawled knowingly. "Definitely for a guy."
Usagi's face felt like it was on fire. "Mamaaaaa," she whined, dropping her hands to her lap, sighing dramatically. "You sound like Minako." Ikuko stared at her pointedly, waiting, until finally, Usagi exhaled in resignation. "Okay, yes, it's for a guy. But it's not how you think."
"How is it then?"
Usagi shrugged, hair falling over her shoulders with the movement, pointedly concentrating extra hard on the scarf. "Mamoru and I...we fight...like, a lot," she blurted, the words getting tangled on her tongue. "And usually he starts it. But this time… I mean, how was I supposed to know he didn't have a family when I teased him about being alone for Christmas?"
Ikuko's head snapped up, eyes wide with stunned disapproval. "Oh, Usagi!"
Usagi cringed, shame burning hotly in the pit of her stomach. "I feel really bad, okay?" she defended. "This wasn't normal banter, mama. I think I really hurt his feelings this time. And I swear I didn't mean to. I didn't know! Really! He never talks about himself. I know he doesn't like me already, but he probably really hates me now. And you know, he doesn't even own a scarf, mama. So maybe making him this and giving it to him will help? Black is his favorite color, and I just think that if he-"
"Usagi," Ikuko interrupted, holding up a hand to silence her remorse-filled tirade. She held Usagi's gaze quietly for a moment before her expression softened. "How do you know that he doesn't have a scarf?"
Usagi frowned, confused by the question. "I see him every day at the Crown, mama. I've never seen him wear a scarf ever."
Ikuko nodded. "And how do you know his favorite color is black?"
She blinked, a little surprised as she thought about it. "I've known him for years… I must have picked up a lot?" Then she sighed miserably, her shoulders dropping. "But clearly, I didn't pick up on everything." Ikuko went quiet, leaving Usagi to her thoughts as the movie played in the background.
She really did know a lot about him. His favorite color; black. His favorite drink; coffee. His favorite food; chocolate. She even knew that he was afraid of needles. She paused, breath caught in her throat as she recalled the time Motoki had asked Mamoru if he was going to the Red Cross event to donate blood, and he'd gone pale, giving her the side-eye before clearing his throat nervously and saying he had studying to do.
She'd teased him. "Don't you want to be a doctor? Shouldn't you be the first person in line to donate blood? What's the matter? Scared of a little old needle?" He'd paled even more. That was when she'd realized that yes, he was scared of needles. So she'd dragged him with her, making sure to get the seat right next to him so she could talk him through it. And he'd kept his eyes on hers the entire time, swallowing hard when the phlebotomist said she was ready.
Usagi smiled at the memory.
"I think he will love the scarf, Usagi," Ikuko's soft voice pulled her from her thoughts. Usagi smiled, then turned her attention back to the scarf, concentrating hard to make sure she didn't mess it up.
oOo
Mamoru stood over the stove in his kitchen, absentmindedly stirring ramen in the pot. It had been two days since he'd last been to the Crown and seen Usagi. Seen anyone for that matter. He'd decided, given the unpredictability of his emotions over the holiday season, it would be best to just stay home; hide out in his apartment until the whole Christmas holiday was over. At this point, that seemed like the most logical course of action.
After he'd had time to really sit and think, he knew Usagi hadn't meant what she said. Not really. It wasn't her fault that he was a little more sensitive over the holidays. There'd been nothing different in her heated retorts. Usagi with her chin tilted upwards in defiance, eyes flashing fiercely. It had been the usual back and forth banter. Or, it should have been, anyway. Maybe if it had been anyone else calling him out for being alone this time of year, he probably would have dismissed them. But coming from her…
He shook his head, black hair falling into his eyes as he ladled some ramen into a bowl, saving the rest for later, and moved to his small two-person table. The spoon was halfway to his mouth when a knock rang throughout his apartment. He frowned, startled as he hadn't been expecting anyone. Motoki had texted him earlier to check on him, but he hadn't mentioned anything about coming over. Who else could it be?
Dropping his spoon back into the bowl, he stood, brow furrowed as he headed for the door. He typically kept to himself, and Motoki was the only person that had been over, so he was half-expecting to find the blond arcade part-timer on the other side of the door when he opened it. He froze, breath caught in his throat, hand poised on the door handle as a different blonde greeted him behind his apartment door.
"Hi," she greeted with a nervous smile, arms crossed behind her back, shifting uncomfortably beneath the glare of the harsh fluorescent lighting.
Mamoru blinked a few times in disbelief because surely it wasn't really Tsukino Usagi standing in the hallway of his apartment complex. "Uh, hi," he finally answered, the dull heat of an embarrassed blush creeping up his neck with the realization that he'd stood there for a moment, practically gawking at her, without saying a word.
"Toki' gave me your address," she explained quickly, pausing for a response that, for the life of him, he couldn't manage. When he didn't respond right away, she cleared her throat, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other. "I wanted to apologize about the other day. I was out of line. I shouldn't have said… what I said."
Mamoru frowned, equal parts stunned and uncomfortable with this line of conversation. "It's okay, Odango," he replied, attempting his usual callous smirk but feeling like he was failing at it miserably. "It's not like you haven't said those things to me before."
Her eyes narrowed, pressing bubblegum pink lips together tightly in displeasure. "This was different," she emphasized with determination.
His frown deepened, further confused by both her presence and an apology he was not expecting. As far as she was concerned, there shouldn't have been anything different.
He shook his head, and the confusion must have been plainly written in his expression because she sighed with exasperation, wrinkling her nose in that annoyed, adorable way that only Usagi seemed capable of pulling off.
"C'mon, baka, don't let me off the hook that easy," she huffed before her expression softened, and she bit the bottom of her lip worriedly in a way that involuntarily pulled his gaze to her mouth. "Of course it was different, Mamoru," she whispered, and his eyes snapped back to hers, disconcerted now because had she just called him Mamoru? "You know...because…" she trailed off, red blooming brightly on her cheeks as she nervously met his gaze.
Mamoru felt his blood run cold, and his breath hitched when he finally deciphered what the hell was going on. He closed his eyes for a second, reigning in the frustration that was threatening to boil over before he met her gaze again. "Motoki told you, didn't he?" The look on her face said it all, and he groaned, determined to have a talk with his "friend" later. "Listen, I don't want your pity or for anything to change with us just because of what happened or because you think-"
But Usagi let out a loud "Pft," mimicking his from the other day, interrupting his tirade. "You think something like that is going to change how I treat you? You're still the same baka I knew before. And still very much full of yourself. This right here?" She wagged a finger between the two of them. "This stays the same. Now, I will give you one or two extra baka-y days a year if you're feeling extra jerky. But that's because I'm, like, super awesome and nice." She popped her hand on her hip with a grin. "But that's all you get. Got it?"
He inhaled sharply, and as her words registered, he was suddenly and inexplicably overwhelmed. It should have meant nothing, and he should have been able to smirk, thank her and send her on her way without a second thought. If it was anyone else, even Motoki who knew better and always tended to tread lightly over these kinds of things, he probably would have. But Usagi Tsukino was different, and damn, why the hell did it even matter so much? Why did the realization that she wouldn't look at him differently ease the tension with an overwhelming sense of relief?
So, instead of sending her away, he swallowed, feeling unbearably awkward as he took a tentative step back. "I just made lunch," he blurted with a glance over his shoulder toward the kitchen. "Do you want some?"
Her eyebrow lifted, eyes lighting up in a way that constricted his throat as the corners of her lips curled up into what he assumed was an attempt to smirk. "What a dumb question," she scoffed, though her tone belied her words. "Of course I want some. When have you ever known me to turn down free food?"
He suppressed the urge to grin, his lips twitching as he stepped out of the way, holding the door open to let her in. She was like a blur of energy, skipping past him, pausing in the genkan, casting her eyes downwards.
Mamoru followed her gaze, blushing as he nervously scratched the back of his neck. "The only person who ever comes over is Motoki, so…" He reached down, pulling out the slippers solely reserved for his friend, and handed them to Usagi.
She smiled. "It's okay," she replied brightly, taking them. "I don't mind using Motoki's." He watched as she dropped a small gift bag from behind her back onto the floor so she could replace her shoes with the slippers.
He swallowed, not really knowing what to say. Should he make small talk? He wasn't used to having anyone in his apartment, much less Usagi. This was uncharted territory, and, well, oddly, the idea of having the bright, sparkling personality that belonged to Usagi in the dull greys that made up the miserable, lonely nooks and crannies of his apartment made him nervous. What would she think? His breath hitched, and he furtively pulled at the collar of his shirt. What was wrong with him?
When she was done, she straightened, giving him a crooked, diffident smile, and his heart stuttered. Usagi? Diffident? That was something he never thought he'd see. Then again, this was a situation neither were used to being in.
He tried his best to give her a reassuring smile, though he wasn't feeling very reassured himself and motioned for her to follow him. She nodded once, trailing behind him as he made his way through his apartment.
"Your place is very… bare, baka," she said. He stopped, turning back to see her standing in the middle of his living room, looking around. He looked around too, inwardly cringing as he attempted to examine it through her eyes.
"Yeah," he muttered, his eyes sweeping across empty walls. "I guess it is."
"Is that why you stay at the Crown so much?" she teased, her tone closer to the playful banter he was used to.
He met her gaze, some of the tension easing as he raised a brow, smirking at her quip. "It's one of the reasons." The words fell from his lips before he could catch them, and her cheeks flushed a bright red as she bit her bottom lip. His stomach flipped, eyes wide as his own smirk faded because he definitely had not meant to say that out loud. He cleared his throat, jerking his thumb over his shoulder toward the kitchen. "Lunch is getting cold," he said gruffly, and she nodded, taking a step forward to follow him the rest of the way.
He made a motion for her to take a seat at the table as he moved to the stove to scoop her a bowl of her own. He set the ramen in front of her, then took his seat across from her, giving her a small smile before taking a bite of his food. She bit her bottom lip, eyes sparkling as she looked in her bowl.
He bit back a smile. Usagi and her food. If there was one thing that would never change, it was the way Usagi Tsukino looked at food. His eyebrows raised as she ladled a spoonful into her mouth, and her eyes widened with surprise.
"Mamoru," she mumbled around the mouthful of ramen. "This is delicious!"
He grinned around his own spoonful. "I'm glad you like it," he replied, watching as she dug in. She shoveled the food into her mouth like it was the last thing she would ever eat, and he went back to eating his own bowl.
Things progressed awkwardly after that, and the tension was thick as the only permeating the silence was the occasional clink of their spoons grazing the edges of their bowls. They did their best to avoid eye contact, but Mamoru couldn't help but furtively observe her when she wasn't looking. He wondered if she could hear the way his heart was thundering against his ribcage, and he suddenly wished that they were back at the Crown.
At the Crown, he probably would have teased her, forced himself to shrug nonchalantly as he smirked at her from behind the safety of his coffee cup. Surrounded by a crowd of people that could easily distract him from the way tendrils of her hair curled softly along her temple, the way her eyes flashed brightly when she spoke, or the bow-shaped curl of her lips when she smiled.
He fixed his gaze on his half-eaten bowl of ramen. He didn't know how to act with her here in the quiet intimacy of his apartment.
"So," she began tentatively, interrupting his thoughts and drawing his attention back to her, "aren't you going to say anything?" He frowned, blinking because he was completely lost. Say anything about what? What was he missing?
She must have noticed the confusion in his expression because she rolled her eyes, dramatically leaning back in her chair to show off another Christmas sweater. He swallowed hard past the lump in his throat, gaze hesitantly lowering to her chest. After a moment, she cleared her throat loudly, motioning to the design on the sweater.
He blinked, frowning as he studied her sweater. It was green with a black cat wearing a Santa hat. Under the cat in big, sparkly letters were the words "Meowy Catmas." Mamoru's mouth twitched with amusement because this was definitely a sweater Usagi would wear.
"And yes," she exaggerated loudly, "my friends do love my Christmas sweaters!" She crossed her arms defiantly, sticking her tongue out.
He coughed to cover an involuntary chuckle, infinitely grateful that she was clearly trying to ease the obvious tension between them. "I'm sure they do, Odango."
"They do! Mako-chan even bought me this one!" she mumbled around yet another mouthful of ramen she'd just shoved in her mouth. She swallowed noisily, the sight oddly adorable, as she pointed her spoon at him. "You could stand to have a little more Christmas spirit, you know." She tilted the bowl, scooping the last little bit of food out to eat before dropping her spoon with a satisfied and resounding clang. "That really was delicious, Mamoru. Thank you."
He looked wide-eyed at her empty bowl while his sat still half full in front of him. He knew the girl well enough by now to know that it was no secret that she could put away some food. And yet, it still surprised him sometimes how fast she could eat.
"I really should be going," she said as she stood, adjusting her sweater. He stood too, abandoning his food on the table. "I'm supposed to meet up with the girls soon. I'm already going to be late."
"What else is new?"
Again, the words spilled from his lips before he had time to catch them. Was it weird, now, to tease her like he had before? He was genuinely grateful that she'd come here today, and he didn't want to ruin it.
Surprisingly, instead of anger blazing in her eyes like it usually did when he threw an insult at her, she grinned. "Well, I wouldn't be me if I wasn't diligent in my tardiness!" When he frowned at her retort, she responded with a shrug and, "That's what Ami says." Which made much more sense. "Oh! Hold on!" She cried out and rushed from the kitchen.
He followed, confused at the sudden burst of excitement in her tone. By the time he made it into the living room by his little tree, she was rushing back to him from the genkan, the little gift bag from earlier in hand.
She stopped a few steps in front of him and held it out. "This is for you."
He hesitated, looking from the bag to her for a moment before taking it. Ever so slowly, he reached in and pulled out a black-knitted scarf. He frowned, confused, because why would she give him a scarf? And...were those roses knitted into the ends?
"Momma had to help me with the roses on the ends," she said, pointing them out as he looked them over.
His heart stopped as he slowly looked up at her. "You-you made this?"
She bounced on her toes nervously as she nodded. "Mm-hmm. I messed up a few times, but momma helped me fix it. You can't even tell!" She paused a moment, looking the scarf over before looking back up at him. "Do you like it?" she asked softly.
For a moment, Mamoru couldn't speak. All he could think about was the fact that this was the first real present he'd ever received, the first present that actually meant something.
"Usagi," he started, swallowing, overwhelmed as he reverently ran his thumb over the knitted rose, "I love it." It took a moment, but he gathered the courage to look up at her and meet her gaze. "Thank you."
She blushed again, flashing him a relieved, brilliant smile. "You're welcome," she replied softly. "I knew you didn't have one. And since black is your favorite color, I figured I would go with that."
His throat constricted with emotion, and his hand shook slightly as he met her gaze. "And the roses?"
She blinked, frowning as she glanced from the scarf in his hand back up to his face. "Well, roses are your favorite flower, right?"
His breath hitched, stunned, caught off guard by her words. "Yeah, but...how did you know that?" There weren't a lot of people who knew personal information about him. And he considered that personal information.
She shrugged one shoulder, her fingers twining together nervously. "I've picked up a thing here and there."
His lips parted, entirely at a loss for words, as he averted his gaze and studied the scarf that she'd made in his favorite color, by hand, with roses, for him. The ache blooming in his chest was overwhelming. When he met her gaze again, all he could do was awkwardly clear his throat, unable to put into words how he was feeling. Mamoru had no idea what to say to break the silence this time. So instead, he just stood there, staring into the piercing blue of her eyes as she stared back into his.
She blinked first. "Okay," she said, smiling nervously, finally turning. "I've really got to go now."
She headed for the door, and he followed, scarf in hand. He watched as she exchanged her slippers for her shoes, searching his brain for something, anything, to say to her. But he was drawing a blank.
When she was done, she straightened, turning to face him. She bit her bottom lip again as she stared at him, only this time he could tell she was thinking of the right way to say something. So he waited.
"Mamoru," she started hesitantly, "my family… We have a Christmas party every year at my parents' house. It's nothing huge. Just the family… Shingo will probably invite some of his friends… the girls will be coming…" Mamoru held his breath, his heart about to pound out of his chest, as he waited anxiously. "Would you… would you like to come?"
He paused, thinking. "Do you… want me to come?"
She laughed, "I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want you to, baka."
He smiled tentatively, his heart skipping a beat. "I would love to come."
She sighed in relief as if she'd been holding her breath the whole time she'd been waiting for his answer. "Great! Give me your phone real quick."
He frowned but pulled out his phone without question and handed it over. She took it, typing away for a few minutes, and he lifted a quizzical eyebrow, wondering who she could possibly be messaging using his phone.
After a minute, she handed it back with a smile. "There. I put my phone number in there with my address." He looked down at the phone before looking back at her, confused. "The party is in two days. Christmas Eve. It starts about 6ish? We have dinner first. Then dessert. Mama makes the best kurisumasu keki. It's to die for, trust me! Then we decorate the tree. There's going to be music, dancing, and it's going to be so much fun!"
Mamoru forced a small smile. "Uh...can't wait, Usagi," he said, uncertainly. Because while yes, he was excited to participate in these classic Christmas activities for the first time, he was still participating in all of them for the first time. It was overwhelming.
Usagi stopped jumping and looked up at him, a soft smile on her heart-shaped face. "I'll see you then, Mamoru." She turned, skipping out of the apartment.
He closed the door behind her and stood in the genkan, the silence of his empty apartment echoing in his ears. He realized he very much enjoyed it not being silent when she was in here. Maybe he could convince her to come back and visit more often? And maybe next time, it wouldn't be so awkward?
He looked back at the scarf in his hand. He couldn't believe Usagi had made that for him. She'd made this for him! His heart jumped, and his stomach filled with the flutter of butterflies. He couldn't remember ever being as nervous about anything as he was about going to this party.
oOo
Mamoru pulled up in front of the Tsukino residence, his heart pounding as he fixed his gaze on the front door from the safety of the front seat of his car. He'd never been to a Christmas party. He'd never been invited to a Christmas party. Sure, he'd been asked to go to the Furuhata's for Christmas before. But this felt different. Bigger. He wasn't sure why, though. Maybe because the invite had come from her?
The Tsukino house was decorated with white Christmas lights strung against the house, bright and twinkling. Cute decorative snowmen sat in the middle of the front yard, surrounded by lights to brighten them up. It was definitely a festively decorated household.
He swallowed, gaze blurring nervously on the black vinyl of his steering wheel as his fingers flexed tightly around it. He hadn't seen Usagi since she'd shown up to his apartment and invited him to her family's party. Even when he'd ventured out to the Crown, she hadn't been there. It'd been Ami who'd told him she'd been home helping her parents decorate the house.
He frowned, glancing down at his outfit, sighing because he hoped he looked okay. He had no idea what people wore to Christmas parties, and he'd very much stressed over having the proper attire, even going as far as to research what people wore to Christmas parties. He couldn't come up with a good answer and finally broke down, messaging Usagi to ask. She'd replied almost instantly with, "wear whatever you want, baka! It's a party!" followed by a winking tongue-out emoji. Which hadn't been helpful at all… He just hoped the black dress pants and red sweater he'd finally picked, paired with the scarf Usagi had made him, was good enough to get him through the front door.
He'd debated not even coming. What if her invite had only been a pity invite? The thought had crossed his mind more than a few times. But it hadn't seemed like a pity invite when she'd asked him. And she did give him a handmade scarf; handmade by her. Maybe she really did want him here?
He could spend all night debating this in his head, and with a sigh of frustration, he closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and forced himself out of the car and up to the front porch before he ended up chickening out. Before he could even knock, the door, wrapped in shiny red tinfoil that he assumed was meant to resemble a present, flew open.
"Mamoru!" she squealed cheerfully, a brilliant smile lighting up her perfectly heart-shaped face. "There you are! I was starting to worry you weren't coming."
His breath caught as he looked her over. She wore yet another Christmas sweater, but this one was fitted more snugly, the softly knit fabric hugging her curves. It was silver with a white snowman wearing a red scarf and a black top hat. Snowflakes fluttered down and around the sweater, sparkling in the lights. She wore a pair of tight blue jeans that flared at the bottom, red bows in her buns with streamers threaded down her hair.
"You look amazing." He hadn't even realized what he'd said until her eyes widened and a red blush fanned across her cheeks. He couldn't breathe, unable to swallow past the lump in his throat because what was wrong with him?
"Thanks," she muttered, biting her bottom lip like she did when she got nervous. Then she cleared her throat, shaking herself a bit as if she were reigning in her emotions. Maybe he should be doing that, too? Thankfully the tension-filled moment passed, and she frowned, looking him up and down, tapping a tapered index finger against her chin. "You look too good."
His brow furrowed, and instinctively he looked down, quickly inspected the outfit he'd agonized over before looking back up at her. "Um...thanks?"
"Hold on!" She threw up a finger. "I got you something."
"Something else?" He said as she rushed off, disappearing into what he thought might be her living room, leaving him poised awkwardly at the door. She was muttering to herself as she rummaged around. He grimaced when he heard her trip over something, letting out an "ow" as she stumbled her way back into the entryway.
"This is for you," she said, jutting her chin proudly as she extended her arm and shoved a Christmas sweater into his hands. "You gotta fit in."
He held the shirt up to get a better look. It was light blue with white snowflakes. In the middle of the sweater was Santa in a boxing ring, wearing a red bathing suit, boxing a giant shark. Mamoru's eyes widened, suppressing the urge to cringe as he looked it over before he slid his eyes slowly from the sweater to Usagi, whose expression was filled with excitement.
"What?" she said, eyebrow cocked as a mischievous grin played on her lips. "Santa is protecting us from the evil shark trying to take our Christmas away." Mamoru looked back at the sweater, blinking at the design in disbelief, before looking back at her. She giggled and rolled her eyes. "Just put it on!"
He frowned, gaze still darting between the sweater and Usagi's expectant expression, and he shook his head, slowly, not comprehending because surely she didn't mean right now?
"You mean here?" he croaked. "Like, right now?"
Usagi nodded, laughing with a wry glint in her eyes that made Mamoru suspect that she might be getting revenge for his comments about her sweater. "Oh, c'mon," she giggled. "You're wearing a sweater with a shirt underneath. It's a quick switch, and besides, it's a rule. No entry without a Christmas sweater."
Mamoru sighed, eyes narrowing because he'd specifically asked her what to wear, but judging by the mischievous look in her eyes, he was sure that this had pre-planned. Resigned and a little impressed, he handed her back the sweater so he could take his own off.
He reached behind him, grasping at the bottom seam of his red sweater. Usagi was right; he did have a white shirt on underneath. What he hadn't counted on was that in his rush to get this over with, his t-shirt would stick to and come off with his sweater. He realized it immediately, jerking his shirt down as fast as he could, the tips of his ears flushing red with embarrassment.
He was even more embarrassed when his eyes flicked back onto Usagi to catch her staring, wide-eyed, cheeks tinted with a bright red blush. He wasn't ashamed of his body, far from it. When he wasn't studying, he tended to work out in his apartment, taking the extra time to make sure his body was toned like he wanted it to be. That was for his own benefit, not anyone else's. He found it easier to focus on school when he was healthy and feeling good, but when she was staring at him like that…
He took the sweater from her, clearing his throat as he quickly put it on over the white t-shirt. He was sure that just by being here, he was making things awkward. Now, after this, he was positive. Avoiding eye contact, he pulled off his shoes, switching them out for the nearby slippers Usagi slid to him with the tip of her toe.
Finally, he straightened, smoothing out the borrowed sweater, brow raised in question as he held his arms out for her to inspect. "How do I look?"
She broke into a smile, giggling behind her hand, and the sound made something flutter in his stomach. "You look great. Very Christmassy. Now come on." She wrapped her arm around his, pulling him further into the house. "Everyone is just sitting down to eat."
They entered the kitchen, where an extended table was set up. Usagi's family, Usagi's friends, a boy and girl sitting with Usagi's brother Mamoru didn't recognize, were seated around it. Mamoru fought back the urge to bolt when several pairs of eyes glanced up with their arrival.
He flushed, politely nodding in response to the smiles, waves, and chorus of friendly greetings. Mostly they talked in loud conversations over each other as they passed buckets of chicken and sides around to load their plates.
Usagi led him around the table to two open spots, seating him between her and Minako. He took a deep breath, his insides wracked with nerves. "Papa, Mama, this is Chiba Mamoru." She gestured eagerly in introduction. Her mother and father smiled, nodding in his direction.
"Mamoru," Ikuko chimed, "it's so nice to finally meet you! Here, make sure you eat up." She pushed a bucket of chicken past Usagi and into his hands. "We've got plenty to go around, right Kenji?"
"That's right," Usagi's father piped in. "Like my father always said, if you leave this table hungry, it's your own fault. Shingo! Don't you dare fling those at your sister on Christmas!"
Kenji's eyes narrowed with warning on Shingo, and Usagi's little brother looked contrite, though Mamoru suspected he was more upset that he'd been caught. Mamoru chuckled, amused, and though it was absolutely chaotic, he was starting to feel a little lighter about the night. Was this how families acted at dinners and on holidays? He glanced around the table, throat constricting with unexpected emotion. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad?
"Sup, Chiba?"
He turned, startled by Minako, who watched him, her head tilted with an eyebrow raised.
"Minako," he greeted back with a nod.
"It's nice to see you, Mamoru-san," Ami interjected from across the table, a soft smile curled on her lips. Mamoru tentatively returned her smile.
He opened his mouth to respond, but Minako interrupted. "I really didn't expect you to show up," Minako said, shoving a piece of chicken in her mouth. "Kinda weird, actually."
"Mina!" Rei scolded from beside Ami, her brow dipped in anger. Mamoru froze, heart skipping a beat. Was it weird that he was here?
"What?" Minako shrugged, finally swallowing the mouthful of food. "I'm not saying it's bad! Just weird! Who would have ever thought Mamoru Chiba would be at the Tsukino Christmas party, am I right?"
Mamoru snapped his mouth shut, suppressing the urge to flinch as he ran his palm along the back of his neck. She did have a point.
"I told you I invited him," Usagi chided, cutting Minako a sharp scowl, thoroughly embarrassed by her friend's antics.
"I know this!" Minako nodded. "I just honestly didn't think he would actually come." She turned her focus on Mamoru. "Don't get me wrong, Chiba. It's totally cool you're here. I just wasn't expecting it, is all," she shrugged nonchalantly.
He usually had an arsenal of good comebacks for Usagi or any of her friends. But this one caught him off guard. Because Minako was right. He and Usagi didn't have a good friendship at the best of times. He was starting to doubt his decision to come here. Maybe this was a mistake. He was clearly out of place. His stomach clenched with regret as his gaze briefly swept over those gathered around the table. He should go. He should…
Something bumped his shoulder, and he turned to see Usagi nudging him playfully. "Hey," she said softly, smiling in a way that he'd never seen before. "I'm happy you're here."
Usagi elicited many emotions, but his throat constricted because he'd never been so disarmed by a smile in his life. The look on her face caught him off guard, and he cleared his throat, nodding gratefully as the unease began to dissipate.
"We all are," Rei confirmed with a curt nod.
"And after dinner, we all get to decorate the tree," Mokoto cheered with an excited clap.
"Yeah, you're super tall," Minako eyed him up and down. "You can put the star on top."
"For the love of everything," Shingo chimed in, "don't let Usagi try to put the star on again this year. I do not want to have to clean up another wrecked tree!"
Usagi squared her shoulders defensively. "I wouldn't have knocked the tree over if you hadn't tripped me with your big feet, you little twerp."
"Hey, don't blame me because your klutz attack ruined last year's party," Shingo countered with a triumphant sneer.
Beside him, the girl smacked his arm. "Shingo," she hissed. "Stop it."
"I didn't ruin last year's party!" Usagi huffed, offended, banging an indignant fist on the table. "You—"
"That's enough," Kenji bellowed from the other end of the table. "Can we just have one Christmas dinner where there is no arguing?" The table quieted down, everyone returning to their meals. Usagi's head bowed, and she moved her food around on her plate.
Mamoru frowned. It was one thing for him to tease her about being a klutz. She always gave it right back to him with his love of books or choice in clothing. It was completely different watching someone else tease her, even if it was her own family.
He leaned over, speaking in a lowered voice but loud enough for brother to hear. "It's okay, Usagi. Eventually, you might grow out of being a klutz," he started, and she eyed him questioningly. He smirked, turning a shifty gaze on Shingo to make sure he had his attention before glancing back at her. "But there's no shrinking his gigantic feet," he said and heard a gasp from across the table as Usagi's eyes widened. "While you're learning to walk gracefully, he'll be learning how to walk with clown feet."
Usagi immediately burst out into a fit of giggles, her hand covering her mouth. Mamoru smiled triumphantly until he realized that all eyes were on him. The whole table had heard him.
He cringed, stomach churning because what the hell had he been thinking? Usagi's laughter stopped when she noticed they'd garnered everyone's attention. Shingo's eyes were wide with indignation, and everyone was staring, stunned. Except for Minako, whose grin lit up the whole room like the Cheshire cat.
The silence seemed to go on forever, and just when he thought he might drown in it, a snort sounded from the end of the table. Everyone turned to see Ikuko's head down, her shoulders shaking as she laughed into the table.
"Mamaaaa!" Shingo cried out, immediately offended.
She snorted again, louder, as she laughed harder. Her laughter was contagious, and Kenji grinned, chuckling as well. Slowly but surely, the whole table broke into a fit of laughter, and Kenji glanced up, winking at his daughter. The tension eased from Mamoru's shoulders, and his heart lightened as a significant weight lifted off his chest. Maybe… maybe he wasn't as hopeless as he'd believed?
"Oh my goodness," Ikuko sighed as she wiped a tear from her eye, her laughter finally calming down. "Can someone please pass the chicken."
Makoto handed her the bucket of chicken, and the whole table resumed their normal conversation. Even Shingo spared him a half-smile before turning back to his friends.
The rest of the dinner went on without incident. He didn't speak much unless he was spoken to, answering questions asked by Ikuko —who insisted that she call him Ikuko-mama— about his classes and plans for his future. He answered as best as he could, trying his hardest to focus on Usagi's mother, but he couldn't help but notice the glances Usagi cast him throughout dinner, nor could he ignore the way it made his heart eagerly twist and jump in his chest.
When dinner was over, he helped clear the table, bringing the dishes to the sink, despite protests from Ikuko. She refused to let him help her wash them, though, and promptly shooed him from the kitchen and into the living room where the others stood, drinking and conversing around a glass punchbowl.
He inhaled nervously as he made his way to the bowl to get himself a drink, not knowing where to go after he poured himself a glass. As he took a sip of the yuku punch, making a mental note to tell Ikuko how delicious it was, his gaze fell onto Usagi, who was standing with the girls, giggling over something Minako had said.
She glanced in his direction, a brilliant smile brightening her features as their eyes met. He smiled back, tilting his cup in her direction, and she blushed a bit, causing his stomach to flip.
As he was deciding whether to go over there or not, Kenji walked up, taking a stand beside him. Mamoru's anxiety immediately returned. This was Usagi's father, after all. What in the world was he supposed to say to him?
"Mamoru-san," Kenji started. "I'm glad you could come."
"Thank you, Tsukino-san," Mamoru answered quickly, his nerves making it difficult to speak. He was glad he'd perfected the mask he hid his emotions behind over the years.
"Call me Kenji. Tsukino-san is much too formal for Christmas," Kenji said with a smile as he looked around the living room at everyone enjoying the party. Mamoru did the same, keeping his eyes on the party as they spoke. "Do your parents throw a party every year as well?"
Mamoru inhaled, caught off guard. He typically kept to himself, and when he did interact with others, he was rarely questioned about his day, much less his parents, so he was tempted to lie. In his experience, pity was a typical reaction to his situation, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to set himself apart. There was something about Usagi's dad, though, that made him want to tell the truth despite what he might think afterward.
Mamoru cleared his throat, shifting nervously in place. "They passed away when I was young," he breathed, refusing to meet Kenji's gaze, even as he saw the man turn toward him from the corner of his eye.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Kenji said. Then after a moment, he took a sip of his punch, turning back to face the party. "Just know, you're welcome here whenever you like."
Mamoru swallowed, feeling the lump in his throat starting to form. "Thank you, sir." He took a sip of the punch, looking back at Usagi, watching as she cocked her hip to the side, rolling her eyes at something Rei said.
"So you're going to Keio to become a doctor, you said?" Kenji said, making conversation as his gaze scanned the room.
Mamoru took a sip of his punch, gaze sweeping over the room, watching Shingo laugh with his friends in the corner of the room, obviously trying his best to impress the girl he'd invited. "Yes. I'm studying to become a pediatric neurologist."
"Wow," Kenji said, turning slightly towards him. "That's impressive. And ambitious. I'm going to assume this has something to do with your past?"
Mamoru swallowed again, anxiety tumbling in the cavity of his chest as he turned toward Kenji. "It does."
Kenji smiled, nodding as he took a sip of his punch. "Then I know you have some fire behind that learning. Usagi said you always had your nose in a book," he chuckled with a twinkle in his eye that made Mamoru freeze. Usagi had mentioned him to her parents?
"Yes sir, I definitely do," he stuttered, not really sure how to proceed with this line of conversation.
"Ah," Kenji smiled, shaking his head as he looked back out into the party. Mamoru followed his line of sight to see it had settled on Usagi, laughing and smiling with her friends. "If only you could lend some of that fire to my daughter. I can't seem to get her to care about school much at all." At this, Mamoru grinned, replaying all the times he'd teased her for her inability to care about her studies. "And please. Kenji. Not sir."
"Well, Kenji," Mamoru said, catching Usagi's eye again. She smiled, her cheeks turning a perfect blushing red before she turned back to her friends. Makoto noticed, sending a knowing look his way before giving Usagi her full attention again. "I've tried to tell her before, but she just doesn't listen to me."
"I'm glad she has a friend like you," Kenji said, clapping him on his back. "You're welcome here any time, son." And with that, he walked away to join the rest of the party.
Mamoru's breath hitched. Son. That was the first time he'd ever been called son. At least the first time he remembered, anyway. The emotions were welling in his chest, getting caught in his throat, and it took a second before he realized that someone else had sidled up next to him.
"Are you enjoying the party?" Usagi said, a smile curved onto her lips.
He nodded, the corner of his lips curving up tentatively. "I am. Thank you for inviting me, Usagi."
She blushed, opening her mouth to respond when Ikuko came whirling into the room, interrupting her. "Okay, everyone," she clapped in an attempt to gain the room's attention. The party grew silent as they all turned to her. "It's time to decorate the tree." She moved to the stereo, clicking a button to turn on the music.
Beside him, Usagi gasped and rushed towards the tree. He chuckled, smiling at her excitement. He'd never decorated a real tree before, and he watched in amusement as they all rushed a box on the floor he hadn't noticed until now. Everyone oohed and ahhed over different ornaments as they were placed on the branches, some picking out their favorites amongst the throngs of trinkets tangled among the many others.
Suddenly Usagi straightened and looked around the crowded group of her friends and family, all rummaging through the box and hanging ornaments on the tree branches. Mamoru frowned as he watched her scan the area, and when she couldn't find what she was looking for, her gaze traveled beyond the group until it landed on him.
She rolled her eyes long and hard before stepping over a bent Minako, around Rei, running towards him. "What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" He frowned, confused. "I'm just standing here-"
"Exactly!" she said loudly as she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the tree. "You should not be standing over here. You should be decorating the tree with us, baka."
His heart was racing, feeling her small hand in his. As they reached the tree, she let go, and he was surprised by the sense of loss. Then an ornament was held in his direction, a silver ball. Mamoru turned to see Shingo holding it out, a small smile on the boy's lips. He nodded as he handed it to him. Mamoru returned the smile as he took the decoration, reaching out to hook it onto a branch on the tree.
This was nice. He'd never felt this accepted before, especially at this time of the year. There was something calming about listening to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony while surrounded by people he felt comfortable with while decorating a tree. Wait...people he felt comfortable with? When had that happened?
After the tree was decorated, and everyone had insisted he be the one to put the topper on, Ikuko served her famous dessert, kurisumasu keki. It was by far the best Christmas cake he'd ever had, and he had no problem making sure she knew it. She'd beamed, letting him know he'd won some brownie points with her.
As he made his way to the door at the end of the night, Usagi followed him out; he was surprisingly disappointed that the night was over. He hadn't been sure what to expect, coming here tonight, but now, suddenly, the unbearable silence and loneliness waiting for him in his apartment seemed extra daunting after having spent the night in a flurry of the bright warmth of sounds, colors, and love.
As he reached the door, he turned to her. "I'm keeping this sweater," he blurted, feeling a little impulsive, unwilling to give up the small reminder of this unforgettable night.
Usagi laughed, her cheeks rosy, eyes bright. "I would hope so. You need a little Christmas in your wardrobe." She reached over to the side, grabbing the red sweater he'd worn in off the hook as he exchanged the borrowed slippers for his shoes. "Here you go," she said softly as she handed the sweater over. Next, she swung the scarf around his neck, settling it in place. Her eyes softened as the tip of her finger swept over the prettily knit rose. "Made with love."
Mamoru's breath hitched, heartbeat pounding in his ears because she truly did look beautiful tonight. Usagi, he realized, encompassed everything he'd ever coveted and secretly wished for in the loneliest crevices of his heart. She was kindness, compassion, and love personified.
Before he could wrap his mind around the realization, she gently tugged on his wrist. "Come on," she chirruped. "I'll walk you out."
He followed her out the door and onto the porch, where they both stopped, and his eyes met hers. Mamoru took a deep breath, suddenly feeling very nervous, butterflies soaring and crashing around in his stomach, his heart flipping in the cavity of his chest.
"Thank you for inviting me, Usagi," he blurted, trying his best to keep his voice as steady and regular as possible.
She smiled, biting her bottom lip most enticingly. "I'm really glad you came, Mamoru." She took a small step forward, glancing up. He followed her gaze, and his breath hitched.
Mistletoe.
Suddenly he felt soft lips on his cheek. He jumped, startled, and turned, caught off guard, the unexpected movement causing those lips to land squarely on his. She pulled away quickly, gasping, her eyes wide as she owlishly blinked up at him.
She'd obviously only meant to kiss his cheek. Probably an innocent, friendly kiss that had ended up with her lips accidentally meeting his. Still, the tension, the chemistry between them was undeniable. Everything, all of his emotions, everything she'd done for him tonight, welled up in his chest until he couldn't take it anymore.
He slipped his hand around her neck and pulled her to him, bringing his lips down to hers. She responded with a sigh, melting into his embrace as her lips moved against his. She leaned forward, lifting delicate fingers to weave through in the hair at the nape of his neck. Propelling herself up on the tips of her toes, she deepened their kiss, and he couldn't help the groan that escaped him as he slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her tight against him.
When she trembled, he knew he had to stop. Against every instinct that begged him to continue kissing her, he pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers. Their breath was labored, tangling between them. Her eyes remained closed for a moment, and she seemed to struggle to catch her breath.
Finally, they slid open, and she gazed up at him, dazed and blushing. She bit her bottom lip as she smiled, slowly dropping back onto her feet. She pulled her arms from him and took a step back toward the door. He watched her, mesmerized by the way she kept her gaze fixed on him even as she walked backward.
He chuckled when she smacked into the door, her hand searching blindly for the knob. "Merry Christmas, Mamo-chan," she smiled before quickly turning the knob, letting herself in, closing the door behind her.
He stood on her porch for what seemed like forever, staring at her door. This night had definitely not gone like he'd thought it would, but it had definitely been his best Christmas ever.
"Merry Christmas, Usako," he finally whispered to the door before turning and heading back to his car.
oOo
Hope you liked the ending, Nari! And everyone else, too! A little Christmas break in the middle of April. Everyone needs that, yeah? Hope your year is going well so far!
See you in the next fic!