Chapter Warning: this chapter contains self-harm

Chapter 2

Alone once again, as his mother was not allowed to leave the house to accompany him, Draco made his way through Kings Cross Station. It was an odd feeling to be more comfortable on the muggle side of the platform than amongst his own kind. He knew that as soon as he crossed the barrier that separated the wizards from the muggles, he would be looked upon with contempt. And so, Draco waited until 10:55 AM to enter platform 93/4, hoping that 5 minutes would provide him with just enough time to get onto the train and find a compartment, without allowing excess time to be stared at.

He scanned the train for a suitable place to sit and eventually settled down in a compartment with Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott. Draco pretended to listen to their stories throughout the train ride, although he honestly couldn't care less about what they had to say. It was fair to say, Draco didn't feel particularly social these days.

"Draco… I asked you what you thought…" Blaise said.

"Oh, I was phased out, sorry."

"Clearly, it seems you've been phased out this entire train ride. What's gotten into you?" Nott asked.

"Just tired I guess, didn't sleep great last night."

Draco had no desire to share his feelings with his so-called friends. All he wanted was to get through the school year. Afterwards, he would likely move far away from England, where people would be unlikely to care about the Malfoy name. Perhaps the wizarding community in New York or northern Europe would give him a fresh start.

The train began to slow, and many students were collecting their things. Draco hung back temporarily, thinking it was best to stay behind the pack. By the time he finally made his way onto the platform, Hagrid had already gotten the first years onto the boats, and many of the upper-year students were entering the carriages.

He could see the golden trio up ahead and was glad he wasn't close enough for them to acknowledge him. At that moment, Draco noticed Hermione's facial expression. She looked as if she was about to pass out in horror. But what was she looking at? The only thing in front of her were the carriages. Then it clicked, unlike him, Hermione had never seen a thestral before. She was standing in front of a giant reminder of all the death she had witnessed earlier that year. He began to wonder who's face she was thinking of. Would her first thought be the Weasley twin who had died in battle, or maybe the old defence against the dark arts teacher, Lupin, who she seemed close with. In that moment, Draco felt sorry for her. He remembered what it was like to see them after Dumbledore's death. They were truly horrible reminders of the past.

"Come on Draco, you can ride up to the castle with us," he heard a fellow Slytherin call.

Once in the great hall, Draco took a seat near the back of the Slytherin table. The old frayed sorting hat sat at the front of the room on a stool. The brim of the hat slowly opened to reveal its mouth and then it began to sing:

I'm glad to see you've return,

for last year Hogwarts was in danger.

I'd like to acknowledge some brave wizards,

so first, I'll thank miss Granger.

Her clever mind and aptitude,

will never be forgotten.

My gratitude next for Mr. Weasley,

who shows great values often.

A brave friend who supported our chosen one,

no matter the sacrifice,

or what was next to come.

And Neville my boy,

you surely have your parent strength,

for when we thought all was lost,

you were still willing to go a great length.

We lost many throughout the war,

but their memories will live on forever.

I'll sing for them each year,

and to those who will listen, whenever.

To all those who fought for Hogwarts,

I am indebted for your actions,

I hope you live a wonderful life,

and achieve true satisfaction.

And finally, I recognize the one who led us to victory.

Sir Potter, we thank you deeply.

We will never be able to make it up to you,

no never, not completely.

And please know that you represent,

everything a Gryffindor should be.

I'm glad to have watched you grow,

it was truly a wonderful sight to see.

Now it's time I do my job,

and sort the new class into their houses

First is Ravenclaw,

whose students are extremely wise,

they seek true knowledge,

and thus, will see through lies.

The loyal belong in Hufflepuff,

all are welcome to this house,

no one is not good enough.

In Slytherin I place the ambitious.

These students do anything to get ahead,

and have sometimes been viewed as viscous.

Finally, there is the house of Gryffindor.

Students here must be brave

for they are expected to act with great valour.

Draco was frustrated with the stupid hat's song. Even it was praising the Gryffindors and clearly hated the Slytherin house.

The sorting ceremony went by relatively quickly and very few first years joined the Slytherin table. Then McGonagall gave a speech, which also praised the bravery of many students during the war. Draco zoned out, not wanting to hear anymore reminders that he and his house were a shame to the school.

When the food appeared on the table, Draco filled his plate and ate in silence. For the most part, he kept his eyes down, not wanting to be aware of the whispers and stares around the room. As he reached for his glass, he looked up briefly and glanced towards the Gryffindor table. Hermione Granger, of all people, was looking at him. He quickly reverted his sight back to his plate. He hated having to look into her glossy eyes and remember all the horrible things his family had done. If only he was allowed to go to a different school. That way, he wouldn't have to see her again.

Once the feast was complete, Draco stood up and headed for his dormitory. Behind him, he could hear Romilda Vane say, "they're all just a bunch of death eaters."

He became increasingly aware of the mark on his forearm. He was forever branded as a villain. There was no chance at redemption with that tattoo on his skin. Even if he fled from England after graduation, other wizarding communities would no doubt know what the dark mark was. And so, in that moment, Draco became determined to remove it from his skin.

Draco changed his path, as he no longer was headed to the Slytherin dormitories. Instead, he would need to find somewhere much more private. He walked to a seemingly deserted corridor and made his way into one of the many school bathrooms. Pulling his sleeve up, Draco stared at the faded, yet still very present, skull that contained a serpent protruding from its mouth. Tears began to well up in his eyes. Then, he pulled a pen from his pocket and transformed it into a sharp blade. Unsure if it would work, Draco sliced into his skin and attempted to cut out the tattoo-like mark.

The area surrounding the mark bled profusely, but the mark itself remained unharmed. Not willing to give up yet, Draco pulled his wand from his robes and started using a wide variety of incantations, hoping something, anything, would make a difference. Nothing did. Eventually, the pain was too much to handle, and Draco put down his wand.

He sat in the bathroom for several minutes, watching blood fall from his arm. Then, he stood up and walked out of the bathroom.

That's when she collided with him…

"For god's sake Granger, watch where the fuck you're going," Malfoy yelled.

He thought to himself, why did it have to be her? Why couldn't it be anyone else?

"I didn't mean too," she replied sternly.

When she stood up, he noticed she too had swollen red eyes. It became evident to him that she had chosen this corridor as a safe place, just like he did. They were both hoping to get away from the crowd.

Draco shifted his robes, attempting to conceal his injured arm, but with no luck. Hermione had already noticed the blood.

"You're arm… I think you might need to see Madam Pomfrey."

The tone of her voice actually sounded concerned.

"I can take care of myself. I don't need someone like you trying to tell me what to do," he snarled.

The blood began to drip out of his robes onto the floor. A small pool was forming at Draco's feet. He really would need to find help soon.

"Fine, but if you bleed to death it's not my fault. If you choose to drop the pride act though, I can help."

He doubted she actually would be willing to help him, and so he responded by saying, "and why the fuck would you want to help me?"

There was a brief pause before she said, "you're right, I don't want to," in a stern voice.

Making sure to hit his shoulder as she passed, Hermione left the corridor. As soon as she was out of sight, Draco went to the infirmary to seek help from Madame Pomfrey.

"Oh dear, less than one day in and you're already running about getting yourself injured," Madame Pomfrey said as she helped Draco onto a bed.

She lifted the sleeve of his robes to see his arm. As soon as she saw the dark mark she knew what had happened.

In a soft voice she said, "cutting it won't do anything my dear. I'm afraid a mark like this will never go away."

The rest of the night she didn't say a word to him. She wrapped the wound and gave him two potions to help. The first was to speed up the healing and the second was to help him sleep. Draco was more grateful for the sleeping potion. For the first time in a long time, Draco slept without dreaming.