Chaptur 2, A New Hope.
Durk slowly cruses back to his multi-billion-dollar mansion in the Hamptons. As they stumble through the door while passionately making out, they both slowly start removing articles of their clothing, when Sharty says, "Durk, baby, I cannot do this with you, there is something I have not told you..." Durk stops giving her hickies and says, "Why my little shart, what is it?" She stammers, "I-I... I can't say Sp-pongeBob..." Durk says angerly, "You had better tell me what it is, or I will throw my massive black cock on your face." She says, "It is OUR MASSIVE BLACK COCK! WE BOUGHT IT TOGETHER!" He, being scared of his new lover, he grunts like a porky little pig. She says violently, "Did you just insult my weight?" Durk, who was drunk at the retirement home, realizes as his buzz is wearing off, Sharty is really 749 pounds. He gazes at those massive rolls in fear. He thinks to himself, but I am already in love. He looks at her forehead and realizes that he really did tattoo a number on her head, what Durk finds out is that it is not his own number, but the Pizza Hut delivery phone number.
He lets out an audible cry "Oh, oh my." She, still angry says, "What? What is the matter with you?" He says, "Um, u-uh nothing my dear." Sharty jumps up and runs (as fast as a 749-pound woman can) to the nearest mirror. What she sees makes her unleash one of the greatest strings of profanity ever spoken. This paragraph of explicits made even Lucifer himself blush from within. Durk, scared at what the behemoth might do next, makes his way to the nearest exit. He bursts through revealing the tornado that is coming towards the mansion, but not just any tornado, a tornado of angry anti-fatphobic Karens. He jumps back inside and closes the door just in time for them to smack straight into the locked and bolted entry. Sharty has begun to sprint toward Durk whilst brandishing a freshly polished frying pan. Durk, having little-to-no common sense pulls out his 1814 English battle sword from his anal cavity and asks her if she wishes to spar. Sharty, also being very dumb, says, "Yes of course I would, my knight in shining armor." Both Sharty and Durk begin to spar, when suddenly, the army of anti-fatphobic Karens burst through the door, with torches in hand, and states, "You are under arrest Mr. Durk for being a meany pants." Durk, in the heat of the moment, decides its best to stab the poop covered sword into the neck of the K.I.C (Karen in Charge). The army of Karens, amazed and disgusted by the murder of their leader, ask politely, "Can we speak to the manager?" Durk states, "I am the manager." The Karens, shocked by this, cower in fear and decide to retreat back to their son's soccer game.