Chapter 2: On the Sacred World an Apology is Given; Deities Offer Saiyans Manfruit

"I can't believe Vegeta agreed to fuse," Beerus said as they rode home and Whis regaled the tale of the fight against Broly.

"I can't believe you agreed to look after Bra."

Beerus shrugged. "A small human? How hard can it be? I got some good peace and quiet for once."

"I'm glad to hear it. And I'm pleased you two got along. Seeing as I delivered her we must be considered honorary uncles or something, I suppose."

"You've been hanging around the humans too much."

Whis laughed. "Perhaps, but I certainly wouldn't be adverse to Bra calling me 'Uncle Whis' in the future."

"Yeah, maybe for you. I expect her to use my title just like everyone else."

"I'm sure you'll have to deal with being called several other things before she reaches that stage, Beewus."

Beerus pinched the exposed flesh of Whis's neck. "Enough baby talk."

"But it was so sweet to see you two curled up – ah!" Whis shut up as Beerus's nails dug into his flesh. "You're so mean! I should just fly off without you."

"Tell me more about the fusion."

"Yes, it is quite a sight to see, especially when it's our favourite saiyans – what a handsome pair!"

"Get on with it, Whis."

"Gogeta –"

"Gogeta?"

"Yes, Goku and Vegeta –"

"I'm not an idiot," Beerus huffed. "I thought their fusion was called Vegito?"

"That would be their potara fusion – I'm assured there are differences."

"What? Why?" Beerus was in an utter state of confusion. "Why wouldn't they potara fuse? Goku's proven he can use instant transmission to get to the kais' world."

Whis shrugged. "I didn't ask, nor was I there for the fusing itself. But if I recall correctly, last time they fused with potara it didn't last as long as expected, so maybe they wished to see how the old tried and tested way would fare – after all, it's not often Vegeta agrees to such a thing."

"Yeah, I guess…"

"I have more suggestions – not being able to locate either kai's energy, or perhaps they have finally taken on board your warning to stop relying on the gods so much."

Beerus nodded. "That… That would be a good bit of development for them - well, mainly Goku. Vegeta doesn't bring his problems to us unless they're also Goku's."

"Mm, I thought that maybe he was trying to keep the Supreme Kai out of harm's way, but perhaps that's too much to expect from Goku. He probably could just envision you shouting at him for bothering the kais and decided it wasn't worth the trip."

"Well, a trip like that must cost a lot of energy."

"I guess. They had no senzu either, so perhaps it wasn't feasible. You can ask Goku next time he's here, or we're there. They must have had some trouble getting it right, because poor Frieza was there for ages fighting Broly by himself."

"Poor Frieza!" Beerus scoffed. "He still needs to be taken down a peg or two in my opinion. I hope Broly did that. I'm both surprised, and not, that it took them so long to get it right though. Obviously they're completely out of tune with each other most of the time, but when I see them spar with you it's clear they can work together."

Whis beamed. "Exactly! I could see the fruits of my training with them when they were fighting Broly two-on-one. I should be careful or they'll be knocking on Broly's door for training instead."

"Good. More peace and quiet for me. Say, Whis, can we check-in on Shin?"

"If you wish. Any particular reason?"

Beerus didn't want to state the truth, but he'd finally found a cover-up reason to visit the Sacred World. "I just want to check. This lack of a potara fusion has me…concerned."

ooo

"So you are here," Beerus said as he strode towards Shin.

"Where else would I be?"

Beerus shrugged and he nosily looked over Shin's shoulder to see what he was doing. The crystal ball on the table showed a luscious green planet, the papers in front of Shin full of terrible handwriting and calculations. "I always took you for one with nice handwriting."

"I do have nice handwriting. You've seen it enough times, haven't you? Or do you not read the list of planets I give to you?"

"Oh, of course. For a moment I wondered if perhaps Kibito had been writing it out for you."

Shin scooped his papers up into a neat pile. "This isn't for anyone else to read, so I don't care to make it legible. But anyway, why are you here? And why did you think I might not be? Were you planning to run amuck in my perceived absence?"

"Goku and Vegeta chose to fuse without potara. I couldn't understand why, and in the course of pondering, wondered if perhaps you'd gone somewhere, or maybe you've had a falling out with the saiyans."

Shin looked relieved they hadn't sought him out. "It's good for them to learn the old-fashioned way, because, as you say, there may be times I'm not reachable. More likely there will be times when there isn't time for a trip here."

"Yeah, that was one of my hypotheses. But, seeing as I'm here now, could I have a word?"

"Of course." Shin handed his papers to Kibito with a request for tea.

"Oh, no, I meant alone."

Shin frowned, not sure he was as accepting of the request now. Nevertheless he got up. "As you wish."

Beerus began walking in one direction, but on spotting Old Kai quickly turned about and went the opposite way.

"What's so secret you don't want to discuss it in front of Whis?" Shin asked once he believed they were out of earshot.

Beerus gave a short laugh. "Whis? No, I think you'll find it's Kibito I'd rather not speak in front of. But also, I have a feeling you'd prefer if neither of our attendants were listening."

"Really? I must admit, Lord Beerus, I'm rather anxious to be in your presence alone after last time…"

"Pfft, when are you not anxious?"

"I was beginning to feel… At some point I started feeling like you were a comforting presence, but perhaps that was just because we had the universe's erasure looming over us."

"I should be a comfort," Beerus said. "I may not act like it, but I'm most relaxed when I'm with my life-links. After all, it's the only time I know I'm perfectly safe." He stepped towards Shin, but the kai took a step backwards.

"Oh, I can believe that," Shin said. "It explains why you're happy to sleep through most of the coordination meetings. Now, if you'd tell me why we're out here I'd be grateful."

"First I wanted to…" Beerus paused as if he couldn't quite get the words out. "To apologise. I'm sorry about…about last time."

"Oh…" Shin's shock was barely disguised. That was the last thing he'd expected to hear out of Beerus.

"I didn't mean to…" Beerus screwed up his face and huffed. "Fuck. This is too awkward." He turned his back on Shin, not wanting to look into those inquisitive eyes. "Look, I've said sorry, you know what I'm apologising for anyway, so it's not like I need to explain myself."

The situation almost made Shin want to chuckle as he realised he was witnessing Beerus having some kind of internal conflict, and if it was anyone else he would have allowed himself to do so. He swallowed the laugh as he watched Beerus begin to walk away.

"Wait, you're wrong." Shin wanted to hit himself when he realised he'd just told Beerus he's wrong. That wasn't something he would do in his wildest daydreams, and yet he'd just let it slip out. As Beerus turned to face him it felt like an eternity.

"Am I?" Beerus's expression was difficult to read.

"I – I mean –" Shin could feel his heart pounding. "I wanted –" I can't just demand an explanation from Beerus!

Beerus seemed to have regained his own composure as he closed the gap between them. "Look at you, absolutely tongue-tied around me. It's rather cute." He ran a nail lightly down Shin's jaw.

Shin gently grabbed Beerus's wrist and held him still. "No, I need an explanation. Why did you try to kiss me if you don't even like me?"

"You don't have to like someone to kiss them," Beerus said, first line of defence.

"Then…then…" Shin had more questions, but he didn't really want to ask them, afraid of the answers. He looked at the ground as he mumbled out, "Why did you make that face?"

Beerus hated the fact that he knew what Shin was talking about. Since when did he start caring what his kai thought of him? "Because I don't like a lot of people and I don't lie about that fact. But also we were talking about a specific kind of 'liking' and really I'm not going to fawn over you the way you do after Gohan."

"Well, you say that, but if the situation arose I think you'd find you would."

"Nuh-uh." Beerus folded his arms. "Yeah, I'll protect you, but I'm not going to sit there staring after you like a sap. In case you forgot that I noticed that." Beerus gave a quick smirk.

"Do you like Goku?"

There was the start of a grimace before Beerus's expression changed to confusion. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"You started to make the same face. I just wanted to check."

"That guy's a pain in my ass."

"Isn't he just?" Shin smiled for the first time that day.

"Actually, that's, uh…" Beerus trailed off and wished Whis was there to fill in these awkward silences he felt like he kept leaving.

"You're unusually speechless today," Shin noted.

"I, uh… I made a list of things I like about you because…because I did. And I wanted to tell you some of the things on the list to make you feel better, I guess. And when you smiled just now it reminded me that was one of the things."

"You like my smile?"

Beerus nodded. "Yeah, you're really… It's cute. But not when you do those creepy forced smiles."

"What else was on the list?"

"I've told you one thing, that's enough for today. I'm already exhausted from whatever this is." Beerus began walking back the way they came.

"That's it?" Shin asked as he trotted after the destroyer.

"Yeah? Was I meant to say something else?"

"N-no…"

Beerus stopped, causing Shin to almost crash into him. "Was there something else you wanted to talk about while we're still out of earshot?"

"No."

Beerus narrowed his eyes at the kai. "If you say so."

Shin waited until they were closer, not in view, but in shouting distance. "Actually, I thought you were going to try and kiss me again."

Beerus chuckled. "Did you want that? I was under the impression you'd get mad if I tried again."

"I guess I just expected it from you – to wind me up, as you seem fond of doing."

"Maybe next time. Today was an apology day, and I'd like to be on your good side for at least a day before I screw it up again."

"Since when did you care about my feelings?"

Beerus shrugged. "I wouldn't be certain that I do. I just figure you deserve the same grace I give to Whis when I piss him off."

Shin began walking ahead again, a sudden confidence in his step. "Well, Lord Beerus, if you didn't care, you wouldn't have come to apologise in the first place."

Beerus stood there scratching his head; the kai had a point. But now really was not the time for more deep thoughts and pondering, because as he followed Shin towards the temple he could see their attendants eating without them.

"Did you have fun?" Whis asked as he watched Beerus pile up his plate with a bit of everything.

"Yeah, as much fun as one can have on this – fucking hell, you don't just put manfruit on the table!" Beerus retracted his hand from that particular bowl.

"Language, my lord," Whis scolded.

Beerus rolled his eyes. "Sorry, I meant to say, why in the Home For Infinite Losers have you put such a disgusting fruit on the table?" He chanced a look again – it was a yellow-green fruit that bore a striking resemblance to a baby. The fruit had ears, eyes, a nose and a mouth – it was uncanny and freaked him out whenever he saw it.

"It's been a long time since I heard anyone refer to hell like that," Shin laughed. "You know we wait ten thousand years for the manfruit to mature, and you disregard it as if it's worthless."

"It's… It's completely unnecessary to have a fruit look like that. Especially when you've got those immortal peaches growing in less than half the time."

Shin shrugged. "Yes, but you get many more times the lifespan from a single manfruit. It's certainly worth the wait." He reached over to take one, sniffing it first. "They say that just smelling these grants one several more centuries."

"I'm surprised more mortals aren't trying to take advantage of this," Beerus mused.

"Most mortals believe the fruit to be a myth," Kibito chipped in as Beerus grimaced as he watched Shin bite into the fruit. "Those who do believe often don't have the faintest idea where to find a tree that bears the fruit. If one were to figure out the tree is here, how would they get here? And even then, what are the chances they arrive when the fruit is ripe?"

Beerus had semi-zoned out, too focused on the way Shin was digging into the fruit like it was any old ordinary fruit. "Say, are you even allowed to eat that? Is that why you're so old for a kai?"

Shin swallowed his mouthful before replying. "As if I haven't fed you immortal peaches before. Besides, these things grow on my planet, so I am entitled to eat them. It would be a waste otherwise."

"I mean, you could… You could choose some mortals to become semi-immortal…" Beerus wondered how that would play out. "You only get a few of these every ten thousand years, right?"

"30 to be exact."

"And you eat all of them?!"

Shin shook his head. "I send some away – Grand Zeno always gets some, as does Whis. I send you one as well, but I assume Whis has been eating it…"

"Guilty as charged." Whis smiled as he helped himself to one.

"But I also use some as offerings…to those I used to share them with."

Beerus watched as sadness seemed to engulf the kai and he quickly moved the conversation forward. "Do you reckon I could get Goku to eat one of these?"

Shin's eyes widened at the suggestion. "You want him to live that long?!"

"Gods no, but do you think he would?"

Without hesitation Shin nodded. "If I held this out to Goku and told him it would make him stronger, he would shove it in his mouth without even looking at it."

"Wrong," Whis couldn't help but butt-in. "Vegeta would snatch it out of your hand before Goku finished processing what you were saying."

"I really want to try this for a good laugh, but I'm so worried that the pair of you are right," Beerus sighed. "I can't deal with having Goku around for another, what, 30,000 years?"

"47,000," Shin corrected him.

"If neither of us kill ourselves, I might just have to look into retirement."

Ooo

"Where would you like them?" Shin asked as he surveyed the food laid out on the table.

"Uhh…" Beerus placed a hand on his chin.

"You didn't think about this?"

Beerus shrugged. "Not that much. Just give it to Whis and he'll know what to do; he's good like that."

"It's strange. You seemed so enthusiastic about this prank the other day that I thought you'd have every detail planned."

"Seems you still have a lot to learn about Lord Beerus," Whis said as he finished laying the table. "Naturally he made sure the important detail of how to stop either saiyan from actually consuming the fruit was covered, and then promptly went to sleep in order to feel like mere minutes had passed rather than wait three whole days."

"And how will you do that?"

"Again, I leave that in Whis's capable hands." Beerus took his seat, tapping the table in anticipation.

"You leave a lot to Whis, don't you?"

"Well yeah, I can trust him to do everything I ask, and do it correctly."

Shin narrowed his eyes, wondering if that was meant to be a dig at him, but Beerus seemed to mean it as a wholehearted compliment for his angel. "When do they get to stop?" Shin asked, looking over at the saiyans doing press-ups.

"When Vegeta gets to 50,000."

Shin cocked a brow. "What about Goku?"

"Do you really think Goku counts to 50,000?" Beerus laughed. "If Vegeta hits 50,000, then…" Beerus trailed off. "Hey, it's cute when you try and hide your laugh like that."

Caught off guard, Shin couldn't help but blush at the compliment.

"I told you - you embarrass the Supreme Kai," Whis said. "A perfect example right here."

Shin was staring hard at the table now, even more embarrassed that Whis was here to witness it.

"Am I not allowed to compliment my kai?" Beerus asked. "Don't you like it, Shin?"

"I – I do. It was just unexpected is all…"

Beerus didn't get to tease Shin further due to a victorious '50,000!' being yelled by Vegeta. The pair of saiyans rushed over, coming to an abrupt halt before the table, eyes glistening as they looked at all the food. They looked to Whis for permission.

"Well done, gentlemen, you may join us."

Beerus sat there grinning as he watched and waited. Naturally the saiyans had eyes for nothing but the food at that moment, so they didn't notice how they were being watched. It took about 45 seconds for Vegeta's hand to grab onto the strategically-placed manfruit. Beerus felt like he saw the moment in slow motion: the way Vegeta absentmindedly grabbed whatever was nearest to him, found the texture to be unexpected, so he stole a glance at what he'd picked up, and promptly dropped it. His eyes were wide and he choked on the mouthful he was munching on.

"What the fuck is that?!" He was just about intelligible through his stuffed cheeks.

Beerus was finding it very hard to play his role rather than burst out laughing.

Goku looked over. "Is that a baby?" He leaned over to prod it. "Ew, it looks like a baby – Vegeta, look it even has little ears and eyes!"

"It's disgusting!"

"Didn't your parents teach you not to insult food from other places?" Beerus asked, having regained some composure.

The saiyans looked at each other, thinking about the lack of parenting either of them had.

Shin picked the manfruit up and held it to his nose, inhaling the aroma. "Smells wonderful." He carefully cracked open the fruit, making sure it looked like he'd decapitated the head. The flesh inside was red and made the saiyans recoil.

"Actually, Vegeta, you're right, it's kinda gross," Goku said with a grimace.

Shin held the head towards them. "You don't want to try?"

The saiyans shook their heads and instead Whis took up his offer. Their expressions became grimmer as Shin bit into the fleshy body, a bit of juice rolling down his chin.

"Haha, Lord Beerus, do you like this, uh, thing?" Goku asked.

"Oh yes, I've eaten tons of babies," he said with a grin.

The saiyans looked to Whis, who sat there with the head in his hand, carefully scooping some of the flesh out.

He flashed them a smile. "It's called manfruit. It only matures every 10,000 years, so you're very lucky to even see it in the flesh."

"How unlucky we are to be alive to see it," Vegeta muttered.

Whis squeezed the head in his hand, making it ooze slightly. "If I told you that eating this would help you unlock greater powers, would you eat it?"

"YES!" Goku said, hand trembling as he considered trying to snatch it from Whis, and then realising he'd probably be better off stealing from Shin.

"No," Vegeta said. "I think you're all just winding us up so we'll eat something strange. I think even Lord Beerus is secretly disgusted by it. Why else would he let Whis take the head and not make Supreme Kai give him half of the body?"

Beerus burst out laughing, having held it in for so long. "YOUR FACES! This was such a good fucking idea! My sides!"

Having seemingly given up on the joke, Shin nodded. "You're quite right. We wanted to see if you would."

"But it wasn't a complete lie," Whis said. "If you were to eat this fruit, you would live considerably longer, which I suppose in the end would allow you to train for as long as it takes to unlock whatever power you wish."

Goku's eyes were back on the fruit. "Let me taste just a little bit."

"I always knew you were disgusting," Vegeta said. "Why does it even look like a baby anyway?"

Beerus answered, "To keep foolish mortals from snacking on it. Not many mortals can get to the tree where this grows, but as a deterrent, the fruit grows in the image of mortal young to make them seem repulsive. This way we don't end up with a bunch of mortals living longer than they should."

"Oh, so that's why Lord Beerus won't eat the fruit, but you two will?" Vegeta asked.

"Yes, although I've never seen a fruit that resembles Lord Beerus," Shin said, "I presume many moons ago there was one."

Whis thought about it and laughed. "I almost forgot! Lord Beerus, didn't your first Supreme Kai play this very trick on you?"

Beerus huffed and grabbed a round fruit that looked perfectly natural. "Look, I don't need to eat a fruit to make me live longer. I don't care about keeping my youthful looks or anything."

"Woah! Is that why Supreme Kai looks so young?!" Goku asked.

"Perhaps it would interest you to know that Gowasu of Universe 10 is around the same age as me. Actually, he might be slightly younger?" Shin said.

Goku's eyes widened as the wrinkled face of Gowasu appeared in his mind. He turned to Vegeta. "Don't you think we should try it? Before it's too late and we're already old. Supreme Kai must have been munching on this stuff since he was a kid, and look at him now! Even if we have just a little bite, I bet we'll stay young for another 10 years or something."

"Fine, fine. But I'm not touching it. One of you can scoop a bit out and put it on my plate."

Goku beamed at Whis, ready to receive, but Whis simply held up a hand, caught the other half of the fruit Shin had been eating, and banished it to the pocket dimension in his staff for safe-keeping.

Goku sat there dumbfounded. "Eh? Didn't you want us to eat the fruit a minute ago?"

"Well, we finally got our answer of whether you would, but certainly you cannot," Whis explained, "Luckily neither of you were eager to inspect the fruit up-close, because otherwise our fun would have ended earlier. The manfruit is so potent that even just smelling it will grant you an extra 360 years of life. It's very possible that the pair of you will live a few decades longer because you were sitting right next to us as we opened the fruit."

Goku looked at the finger he'd used to prod the fruit earlier, sniffing it. "Can't smell it."

"You saw how close the Supreme Kai had the fruit when smelling it, that's how close you'd need to be for the full effect."

Vegeta returned to eating what he'd already put on his plate, but eyed the rest of the offerings suspiciously. "There's no more hidden surprises, are there?"

"I wish there were," Beerus said.

The rest of their lunch was uneventful, but littered with Goku begging Whis to let him taste the forbidden fruit.

"Goku, I want you to go home and forget about that fruit," Beerus said. "And no funny ideas either." He looked between the pair of saiyans, knowing Vegeta would be the one to come up with an actual plan.

Whis shook his head and turned to the saiyans. "All of the fruit has been harvested, so there's no point even looking for the tree as you won't be able to recognise it. And even if you could find it, and there was an extra fruit that was missed, you would have a hard time getting it off the tree without spoiling it." He turned back to Beerus. "I think that was a better way of telling them not to go looking, my lord."

"Did you make that up just to put us off?" Goku asked.

"No, Whis is quite right," Shin said. "The fruit needs to –" His mouth was suddenly smothered by Beerus's hand.

"Let's not tell them all the gods' secrets," Beerus said. "Now, run along and don't chew Whis's ears off on the way home."

"Aw man, can't we stay a little longer?" Goku begged. "Don't we get something for entertaining you?"

Beerus shot Goku a look of disbelief that had Vegeta pulling him by the arm as if to say 'shut up.'

"I'll be back soon, my lord," Whis intervened before anything more damaging could be said.

"Thank you for today; it was as fun as you said it would be." Shin smiled to show he meant it. "I should get going too." Because he had just realised he was alone with Beerus again.

"So soon?" Beerus asked, knowing exactly why.

"Well…"

"Before you go," Beerus said. "I've been thinking about universe improvements, and I thought that maybe we could work together some time. I know I've been a bit shit at that part of my job, so…"

"Yes, I think that would be good. You, um…" Shin had heard about how the other kais worked with their destroyers, and what he wanted to ask was whether Beerus had ever actually done the job properly alongside previous kais. However, he was struggling to find a polite way to phrase it. Annoyingly, Beerus had suddenly found a well of patience as he waited there with a small smirk on his lips. Instead, he changed tact. "I look forward to learning more about your side of the job."

"Yes, likewise." Beerus chuckled to himself. "I like that about you too, you know. When you realise whatever you were going to say isn't pristinely polite and inoffensive and you change whatever you were going to say. I think I'd call it endearing, although I am curious as to what you were going to say originally."

"Nothing vulgar. Of course, I don't require someone like Whis to pull me up on my language."

Beerus seemed to have a very pleasing thought. "Now that's something I'd like to see. I'd like to see you go off on one and shout all sorts of shit. Perhaps you'd like to see me fuck off? Call me a bastard? No, too tame. Perhaps a cunt would sound better. I don't even use that word, but if you said it? Well, maybe I could just die from shock - someone would have a heart attack at the very least."

"Then I wish you pleasant dreams, as I doubt you'll hear such things from me."

Beerus hummed loudly and Shin felt a cold sweat coming on.

"Lord Beerus, if you couldn't squeeze these words out of me the last time the two of us were alone on this planet, I don't know how else you think you can get me to say them," Shin said. "They're just not in my vocabulary."

"Simon says say shit."

Shin cocked a brow. "What?"

"Not 'what,' 'shit.' It's a game Trunks taught me. Whatever. I have other ways."

Shin was moments away from kai-kai'ing out of there.

"When we work together, we'll discuss so many things I'm sure. I'll refer to reproduction as fucking until you accidentally say it! Or something like that. Maybe if you hang around me long enough it'll just come naturally."

Shin shook his head. "Whis seems to pull you up often enough, but perhaps not in front of the saiyans. I pray that one day his admonishments get through to you."

"Weren't you leaving?" Beerus asked. "Or were you planning to keep me company until Whis returns?"

"When were you thinking of working together? This millennium?"

"How's next week sound?"

That was quite a shock. "So soon? I'll take my leave and prepare then."

"I'll call you," Beerus said as Shin disappeared.

A/N: See chapters 24 and 25 of Journey to the West to read the original manfruit story!