–
Chapter 2: David Karofsky (And A Lot Blaine Anderson)
–
It took time for Kurt to come around again. He didn't even go to the Lima Bean and Sebastian had staked it out daily.
In fact, surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly, they had come to him in the end, or at least Santana. She fronted and pretended that she was upset about Blaine but with the way she chose her words, he could see right through her.
"You nearly blinded Blaine!" There was a roar of concern about the traitor behind Sebastian.
"That's too bad, he was attractive but the slushy was meant for Kurt, he shouldn't have gotten in the way." He said it with enough emphasis to calm down those behind him and he succeeded but it only made Santana visibly angrier. Good. He wanted her to be concerned more over Kurt than Blaine. Yet, his words were true, Blaine shouldn't have gotten in the way of Sebastian's intentions to sleep with the countertenor. The slushy was meant for Kurt, to free him.
She asked for a duet faceoff and he had fun with her. The song was perfect too, she might have thought she was talking about him slushying Blaine but he was singing about Blaine striking Kurt, killing him slowly, perhaps not physically but as good as.
They were panting in the end and Santana's eyes were wide and they were right up against each other. "Kurt." She said it so softly that he almost didn't hear her, there were tears in her eyes and he knew that she was aware that there was a lot more going on with Kurt and Blaine than she let on. She pretended that she had come here for Blaine but she'd come here for Kurt. She had known that the slushy was meant for Kurt and he had almost been hit by it. Sebastian's words of confirmation were all she had needed for her anger to reach critical limits. Yet he sang with her as if he knew too, they both sang of someone being hurt by someone else and concern for the one who was hurt.
If anyone heard them - the celloists – would think they were singing about Blaine, it would fit him in their minds too (red slushy- blood, in an arch- a 'crescendo') but from what he'd seen of Santana, he knew she was incredibly smart and could see between the lines. Smooth Criminal was definitely a line they could use on Blaine. Sebastian was not nearly that smooth, he was obvious in his intentions usually. The subterfuge with Kurt – arguing so they could still see each other – that was smooth. Blaine thought he was the puppet master but he didn't realize someone was behind him watching him and slowly cutting strings.
Her voice was breathless and taunt with unshed tears. "What did you put in that slushy?"
Sebastian gave her a bone, she cared about Kurt, a lot, and she wanted to know what had almost hurt him. "Rock salt, but it's ok." He brushed his thumb along her cheekbone.
"Why is it ok?" She asked slightly offended and angry.
"Because-" He bent his head so his mouth was by her ear and nobody else could hear him. "It was meant for Blaine all along. Kurt would never have gotten hurt." He pulled away and winked at her but the others had come in and he turned to them, seeing another slushy in their hands and he adapted quickly. "Because-" He said again as a warning, as if he'd never answered in the first place, she was still gaping at that answer anyway. "This one doesn't have it in it." He turned and felt bad about slushying her but he had to maintain his position so he could save Kurt. While she spluttered – the only time she'd ever gotten slushied – they left.
He didn't see Kurt for a considerable amount of time after the slushy incident with Blaine. He heard from Rachel that Kurt was spending as much time as he was allowed by his bedside. Rachel had told him that after he was trying to get their attention and threatened to release a badly photoshopped picture of Finn. That had backfired for him then, he had pushed them closer together and made Kurt feel even guiltier, giving Blaine even more attention.
Then the Warblers were invited to McKinley for a taste of what they could expect to go up against. It was an intimidation effort. They did MJ and then stopped and faced the Warblers in the audience. "You can have MJ, we've been there, done that, you can have our scraps." Santana announced.
The boys cheered and totally missed the insult and filed out. Sebastian stayed, it had all been a ploy to get him here, after all. They waited until the boys were gone before overhead Sebastian's voice was heard. "What are you doing here?"
"I want to know what you put into that slushy. Gravel?"
"Rock salt, but it's ok."
The voices cut off and Sebastian gave a slow clap. "Good job, I can use the fact that you cut the tape as a defense, if it were to ever come to that, which it won't. This is just a small incident between high school students. Have the adults ever actually done anything about this type of stuff?"
"It's enough to kick you out of Dalton!" Rachel tried to argue back. Santana and Kurt were standing off to the side, surprisingly not saying anything, just looking at Sebastian. He wondered what they were thinking.
"Wasn't done on school property and they don't care about what we do to kids at another school. Only what's done to their own students, between their students. You have no proof."
The rest grumbled and walked out, knowing he had good points and they had been on a fools errand trying to trick or convince or intimidate him into... something. Santana and Kurt remained though and Santana made a big show of giving Kurt the tape. "Do with this what you want."
In Kurt's hands, it could have more impact than anything else, Sebastian reckoned. Kurt walked up to the front center of the stage, just feet from Sebastian and he glanced one more time over to Santana who shrugged. He looked back to Sebastian and his eyes scanned over Sebastian's face. His eyes weren't hard or angry and he tossed the tape to Sebastian. "Like you said, it's useless. Hopefully you'll keep it as a reminder of how you went too far."
"Do you really believe that?" It could be taken many ways and Kurt gave a quick half smile that disappeared so fast someone might have missed it if they weren't watching him so closely.
"He needed surgery, Sebastian. That's too much." Kurt held his gaze. "You're off the hook though, we're not going to press this anymore. Blaine's forgiven you."
"What? Why?" Sebastian jumped to his feet, what had Kurt done?
"I asked him to, it's a small community and holding on to anger and resentment is going to get us nowhere in life. It was meant for me afterall, he was the one who pushed his way in, he can't be angry at you for hurting him, he did that to himself. Besides, you're a Warbler, Warblers are family, once a Warbler, always a Warbler."
"Except when it comes to you, it seems." Sebastian said quietly, knowing they hadn't felt that way about Kurt who had been there for a semester. Why wasn't Blaine mad at least that Sebastian had intended to hurt his boyfriend?
"But didn't you hear?" Kurt asked with a bright, big, fake smile. "I was only a spy, not a real Warbler, so I don't count."
So Kurt knew and Sebastian suspected that Kurt was catching on to a lot of the happenings going on around him, even if he was spending a lot more time with Blaine than ever.
A door opened and Rachel's voice could be heard. "Santana, Kurt, are you still here? We're waiting for you in the choir room, we need to practice."
Santana pushed away from the wall and winked at Sebastian before straightening up. "How could you Kurt?! How could you give that rat-faced fink the tape?" She shooed Sebastian away and he quickly made his exit, but not before he heard Kurt's response, drawn out and exhausted as if he'd explained it already a hundred times.
"Like he said, it was worthless. It's just better if we all just move along."
"But it's Blaine!" Rachel squealed and Sebastian chuckled as he closed the door. "He deserves us to defend him and get him justice!"
"Blaine's tired of this too!" Kurt's voice was raised more and he could hear him through the door. "Just give it up Rachel! It's not like you actually did anything. Santana was the one who went and got slushied for her efforts!"
He didn't hear the rest, perhaps he didn't need to remind Santana what Sebastian did, she seemed cool with him right now but maybe not after that reminder. He supposed time would tell. He got to the parking lot and was glad that everyone had left, he wasn't even offended that they left him on 'enemy territory' alone. He didn't want to deal with any of them.
He delayed his return to Dalton and drove around Lima for a short while before he ended up at the Lima Bean. He stayed there for 3 hours and it was well worth it because just as he was about to leave an hour and a half in, Kurt appeared in the doorway. He spotted Sebastian and came over, dropped off his stuff and then went to the counter and ordered himself a chai tea latte. At Sebastian's raised eyebrow, Blaine had always ordered him a non-fat mocha without asking and paid for it, Kurt shrugged.
"Can't always be drinking coffee, especially so late." He picked up his tea and fully joined Sebastian at his table. "Doesn't help that I ordered that last year, once, and he decided that was my drink order from then on, not even bothering to ask if I want to change it up. He always gets the same thing, so he probably assumed I was the same way."
"I don't understand why you're still with him."
"Well someone nearly blinded him so I can't exactly break up with him right now, can I?" Kurt asked dryly and Sebastian smirked, ok, he deserved that. "He's just so vulnerable, someone might swoop in on him and take advantage. Can't have that."
Sebastian deserved that too. "You know where my interests truly lie, you've known for a month now, at least."
Kurt smiled slightly. "I knew from the moment we met. All those 'back off' looks were for his benefit and at the time I still thought we had something special."
"Any chance?" Sebastian asked carefully, this was the most honest they'd been with each other, they hadn't had a lot of time alone, Blaine was always popping up at the worst moments, just when they started talking civilly to each other and had to reverse gears quickly.
"Done the right way, yes." Kurt looked unsure still though. "I'm currently in a pretty committed relationship, he switched schools to be with me; he really loves me. I thought I loved him until recently. I slept with him, thinking I loved him, even after meeting you. It was only afterward that I realized that I didn't. Maybe I would have still believed it had I not met you, maybe I would have wised up even if you weren't around. I haven't slept with him a second time despite his pushing. In a lot of ways, I'm the vulnerable one." He was too, Sebastian had seen that. "But it will require something of you that you don't do or believe in."
Sebastian looked around before reaching out and covering Kurt's hand with his own. "What did you have in mind?"
"I'm not going to break up with him for you." Kurt started, holding his gaze. "I need to break up with Blaine regardless, but it's a difficult thing to do with his claws in my friends like he does. It needs to be done carefully and systematically."
"Not for me, got it." Sebastian smiled as if he knew it was not the truth, but it probably was. He didn't want it to be, he wanted Kurt to want him too. "But you'll sleep with me, won't you?"
Kurt eyed him skeptically. "Maybe."
"Maybe?"
"Is that something you're willing to accept and take as possibility but no reassurances it'll ever happen?"
"Oh, it'll happen, you're attracted to me."
"Doesn't mean I don't have self-restraint or a strong will." Kurt countered. "I don't have to sleep with you. I've already been pressured into doing more than I wanted twice and I said no both times."
Sebastian figured he'd circle back around to that confession. "But you'll want to."
"I don't believe in one night stands. Granted, you can't always be a hundred percent sure of another person, but I don't go consciously into them."
Sebastian lifted a mocking brow. "It's happened before?" He knew for certain that Blaine and Kurt had lost their virginities to each other and Kurt just admitted he hadn't done it again.
"No, but I'm not going to with you either."
"Ye of little faith. I'm not looking for a one-night stand with you. Why would you even think that of me?"
"Please, your theme song should be Ex's and Oh's. The second you walk in the door it should be playing, giving everyone fair warning of your devious ways."
Sebastian grinned. "You know I'm going to give you an oh? Good, I can definitely promise you that."
"The only thing I know you can promise me is ex."
"X, maybe, lots of Xs." Sebastian assured easily, readily, excitedly. Kurt just looked at him as if he was sure that Sebastian was just putting him on.
"You can't promise me anything, actually." Kurt held his eyes. "Nobody can, no matter how sure you are about it before it happens. I thought I knew what I had, I thought I knew what the future held."
Something about what Kurt had originally said bothered him and he reached out to cover Kurt's hand with his. "He doesn't really love you, if he did, he wouldn't have hurt you in all the ways he has."
"He thinks he loves me, and in his own way he does. I don't want to hurt him." Kurt didn't pull his hand away though it would have been more appropriate to do so then and there. "You have to accept the fact that I may never sleep with you. It's a decision that I'll have to come to when the time is right, when I've broken up with Blaine. I don't cheat."
"It is going to surprise you, but I'll accept those odds and you'll have to accept that a one-night stand is the last thing I want from you." Kurt didn't believe him but he squeezed Kurt's hand. "I'll surprise you yet." And it surprised him that he wanted to.
This could be considered in a lot of ways to be cheating but it wasn't, Kurt was just trying to find the right way to break up with Blaine. He wouldn't go further with Sebastian until then.
He was going to break up with Blaine for the sake of their own relationship. He didn't want to hurt Blaine. Besides, he hadn't done anything with Sebastian and it was Blaine who thought he was the one flirting with Sebastian, in front of Kurt of all things, not even trying to hide it. Whereas Kurt and Sebastian both knew they were the ones secretly flirting with each other in front of Blaine but only because Blaine would have thrown a stinker if he'd figured it out. Not even that Kurt was the one flirting, but because he wasn't getting the attention he thought he deserved.
Kurt wasn't trying to hang onto Blaine, he just didn't want to hurt anyone but also couldn't ignore he had more attraction to Sebastian than he had for Blaine. "It's going to take time and I'm going to have to do things that you're not going to like. That I probably won't like."
"That's... reasonable. I'm sure I'm still going to do things you won't like."
"Like other boys?" Kurt asked carefully.
"No." He hadn't looked at another boy since meeting Kurt, not seriously at any rate. "I'm a jealous ass, haven't you already seen that in action? In my mind, you're already mine and I'm trying hard to tame this side of myself. I can't promise I won't do more of that. Sometimes it just takes over."
"Like with the slushy." Kurt shook his head in disbelief. "God, you're like Karofsky, but instead of doing it to me, you've done it to Blaine. I'm insane for even thinking I want to potentially be with you. You're going to end up hurting me, I just know it. I always end up hurt."
Sebastian's hand curled around Kurt's. "Karofsky?" He questioned. He would deal with the fear of being hurt later, he wouldn't ever hurt Kurt. His mission was to make sure Kurt wasn't anymore. Time and effort would aid him in that endeavor.
"Yeah, locker shoves and slushies were his favorite form of flirting before he kissed me. He shoved and slushied anyone he thought might be interested in me too or vice versa. He was furious when he met Blaine and realized we liked each other, despite all the crap Blaine pulled before we got together. He was pissed when we became an official couple and pulled a few other crappy things on me before eventually he reformed and then left our school. Still not sure why he left, he and Santana were making progress. Now that he's gone though, I've been left relatively alone. Maybe they fear that I'll infect them like I infected Karofsky. I'm also not alone anymore as the only out gay male in the school with Blaine there. The remaining hate is spread between the two of us now, it's not as overwhelming. Though that was the first time Blaine has been slushied."
"Good, he deserved it. The slushy, not nearly being blinded." Sebastian shrugged. "I thought it would just hurt him, not do that. I was pissed at him for how he's treated you and … well I don't think I thought much beyond that, just a vague hope that he'd leave you alone or something, I guess. I wanted you to be able to have time away from him so you could find out exactly what he's done to you."
"I suspected a few things after we slept together, I'm just so angry that he tried to force me in the car and then I went willingly to him later on that week. I'm angry with myself for being manipulated like that. He was good to me during it but afterward, when I went home, all that happy buzz drained away and I was furious with myself for falling for it again. I didn't know about the Warblers and what he did there or what he was doing to the ND until after the slushy and time. Santana was the one who pointed some of that out to me after she confronted you, she had started to notice it too after Blaine wasn't hanging about as much."
"I knew you and Santana were the smartest of the bunch." Sebastian praised but Kurt scowled at him, thinking it was an insult. "It's easy to see when you're not drowning in it, especially when the water slowly rose before you knew it. I'm sure at some point he was genuinely good to you."
"He has been good to me, actually, despite trying to isolate me." Kurt argued. "He's been sweet, romantic, kind, protective, listens to me and is comforting."
"Definitely the worst case of Stockholm Syndrome I've ever seen. Even when you know he's doing it, you defend him! I wonder when was the last time he was actually any of those things?"
Their first shouting match commenced then and there. Since it was a very public place both liked going to, it wasn't as loud as later ones in the privacy of their personal space, they did it in harsh whispers this time. Sebastian was pissed about so many things he'd learned 1. Karofsky had bullied and assaulted Kurt, 2. Kurt accepted the serenade because Blaine had basically manipulated him into doing so, 3. Kurt slept with Blaine for the exact same reason after being attacked by him.
Sebastian had known a lot of that but he was stuck on the one thing he hadn't known. "He tried to force you!"
Kurt hesitated, seeing the look on Sebastian's face. "Not hard or anything but he required a lot of nos before he finally understood and stopped pushing. We'd talked about it the week before and were going to wait but then between the alcohol, his ego being stroked by two boys dancing with him and his jealousy over you even being close to me, and Karofsky talking with me at the bar, who he knows had a massive crush on me, he got super jealous. I left Karofsky because I could see it in Blaine's face, he was trying to hide it with enticing invitations to join him on the dance floor, but he was ready to leave it himself and come over and have it out with Karofsky, he only held back as long as he had because you were there. It all culminated in him trying to strengthen his claim on me further in the car that night. Despite our agreement."
"He sensed you were pulling away and he manipulated the situation in his favor." Sebastian was angry. "He did it while you were at Dalton, dangling something you wanted any time you started to pull away... that asshat. I'm glad I nearly blinded him now. He may not have actually forced you but he manipulated and tricked you into having sex with him."
"Sebastian, it was something I had wanted too. I had suggested it a couple of days before at school but he was oblivious. I was probably too subtle." Kurt shrugged. "I was more angry at how it happened than anything. I've been withholding it since, he thinks it's because it was in the end too early for me and my prim sensibilities. Him being the dapper gentleman of old, understands that and isn't pushing too hard. Now he can't while in the hospital, but when he gets out, he'll suggest it again but won't press."
"Keep saying no, will you?" Sebastian had a lot to think about, now he was understanding how it was so easy for Blaine to manipulate Kurt, Kurt had been incredibly vulnerable when he entered his life and had only succeeded in making him more isolated and vulnerable. After that though, Sebastian's tone became more reasonable again. Karofsky, oh he had a lot to answer for too.
Maybe Sebastian should talk to the other boy, if only to warn him off, put him in his place and let him know in no uncertain terms exactly what he thought of him and his chances with any of them. He needed to know he wasn't very many people's type, maybe then he would stop punching above his weight and go after people more in his class.
The vitriol Sebastian was spitting in his own mind was surprising and he turned away to try and calm his brain. He wasn't interested in the boy himself but that didn't mean someone else wouldn't find him attractive. He just didn't want Kurt to find him attractive.
"Seb-" Kurt turned his hand to link their fingers. "I... I... I'm crazy but I like you. I'm not going to do anything with Blaine. I might be forced to kiss him once or twice because it'll be expected as his boyfriend who's happy for him to come out of the hospital and surgery. I'm going to work on breaking up with him slowly at the right time. He's got his hooks in the ND and they're quick to turn on me, despite my being there first and loving me as a family member and Blaine a spy from Dalton. They keep claiming that they want me there, that I'm very important to them both in the ND and out of it and that they have my back but if Blaine says anything, half of them turn on me and make my life a living hell. I thought it was over after Karofsky left but it's just a different kind of hell. It's why I haven't said much in practice about Blaine and Rachel being front and center now. Until I can pull the hooks out, they're going to be on his side, just like the Warblers. Dalton was it's own type of hell too."
"Santana will be on your side."
"She will be." Kurt agreed. "Brittany, Mercedes, Puck, and Mike will all be. Tina is in love with Blaine despite never having a chance with him. Rachel too for whatever reason, she has Finn now who she's been after for forever. Finn's a question mark, he's going to hate being pulled between his loyalties to his friend and brother and girlfriend and fellow captain of the ND. Quinn's going to try and aim for Switzerland but I don't know if she doesn't like either of us or likes both of us equally. She's part of the God-Squad, leader of it actually. Artie is so see through, he's going to be on Blaine's side because of the recent injury, talent as a male singer that sounds like a guy and Blaine can rightfully claim I'm not being totally faithful. He's got a thing about cheating since Tina did it to him with Mike, and Brittany with Santana, though I know, I know that if he had the chance to do the same, he totally would and wouldn't be apologetic unless they found out."
Kurt scowled. "I hate cheating too, which is why this is as far as this is going to go until I officially break things off with Blaine and it's been a respectable time apart." He gestured toward their linked hands and meant the conversation in general too. "We can continue to bicker but that's as far it's going to go, ok? I don't want to cheat on Blaine and I already feel incredibly guilty about what we've done so far, but I don't want to lose you either. Even though I'm out of the relationship, it's not over yet and I won't do anything else. I'm not a cheater, I respect established relationships."
They had never exchanged phone numbers and so there was no electronic trail to follow or intercede. Sebastian didn't like what Kurt was saying but he also knew that he had to respect it since it was Kurt's decisions to make. He could just help hurry it along, right? Subtly, of course. He understood too that Kurt didn't want to establish a pattern, he feared if he stepped out of line once, it would be easier to do a second time and he was all about trust in a relationship. If either party wasn't feeling it anymore, then they should end it before moving on to someone else. Cheating was a line he would not cross and wouldn't tolerate either.
Kurt did have a point, if he cheated on Blaine with Sebastian then was in a relationship with Sebastian, what was to keep Sebastian from easily believing that Kurt was cheating on him? Sebastian was jealous of attention lavished on Kurt by males anyway but he knew Kurt wasn't feeling that way toward them but hated their presence and pressure on him. He may trust Kurt but he didn't trust the others from trying something. If Kurt was capable of cheating, that would just be worse, no matter how he felt about Sebastian or the others.
Sebastian was already going to have a tough time reassuring Kurt that he wasn't going to cheat, although he had never cheated on anyone because he never had a committed relationship to do so, he had helped others cheat. He didn't want to be that for Kurt either. He wanted all of Kurt, not share him with Blaine, even in the ways he was usually ok with. He didn't want to make Kurt a cheater, he didn't want him to be in a relationship with Blaine and then see Sebastian on the side for a few quick rolls in the hay and then go back to Blaine or anyone else. He would just have to be ok with Kurt's reassurances that he wouldn't do anything more with anyone until this mess was sorted out properly.
"You can stop with the gifts too, by the way." Kurt said dryly, popping a stick of chocolate onto the counter. "I'm not into empty calories with very little pleasure derived from it."
It was nice chocolate, he could see where Kurt may have thought it was from him. "I don't do that kind of thing, I never have. Although for you I may be tempted."
Kurt pulled his hand back from Sebastian's at that point. "This isn't from you?" He asked carefully.
"Nope." Sebastian wondered if he should... but Kurt's reaction told him – definitely not.
"I- ok." Kurt pulled it back across the table and put it back in his bag. "Must be from Blaine."
"Don't go falling back in love with him." Sebastian had enough on his plate with those two as it was, he didn't need more complications.
"I won't, this romantic gesture stuff was old Kurt, new Kurt sees right through it." Though there was a bit of pleasure on his face and Sebastian scowled as Kurt got up and left with little in way of goodbye. He was serious, this was going to remain a static thing until he could deal with everything else first. He still didn't entirely trust Sebastian either, and he'd been the only one to admit to liking the other one. Except Sebastian as good as said it a few times. Kurt was still a gullible romantic, Sebastian knew that and he would have to watch him like a hawk.
Kurt wouldn't let them get any closer than they were already and would do his best to put the breaks on even that much. Sebastian didn't like that at all and he had to think about what he was going to do about it.
The weekend before Valentine's Day found him at Scandals again. He didn't know why he was there other than he liked to dance, even this crappy swaying dancing that he did there. The Dalton boys were bothering him and he was a bit frustrated with the fact that he hadn't seen Kurt in nearly 4 days. Something about the chocolate really bothered him.
Blaine was known for big gestures and big gestures on Valentine's day was not unheard of. He feared that he'd manage to convince Kurt back into bed with just a comment about how he spent so much time and effort on Kurt this year... doesn't he get something out of that? He could hear it now. 'Come on, baby, I'm an invalid, spare me a little love and take pity on me'. It disgusted Sebastian, though it may be something he might employ if he were in a relationship with Kurt too; but Kurt had feelings for him, even if he was blocking them right now; he no longer felt that way about Blaine. It would definitely be a pity fuck if he went through with it and he would feel even more disgusted with himself if he ended up in Blaine's bed again.
Frustrated that the dancing wasn't easing his tensions, he decided to check out the fish. Water and fish and bubbles were calming sources, or so he heard and it did help soothe his nerves a little. Now that Kurt was aware of what was going on, he wouldn't be so easily tricked. He had a trusting, caring, forgiving nature but he was also sharp and witty and knew what he wanted and didn't want and wouldn't let himself be pushed and bullied into something he didn't want. He would find ways around it, and even if he got pushed back into a corner with no out, he'd find a way out, even if he just had to be honest.
He did what he wanted and based it off how he was feeling, if he backed down from a fight it was either because he didn't want to fight, finding benefit out of not fighting or because he secretly wanted it. This much, Sebastian could already gleam out of the complex boy who he was surprisingly patiently waiting for.
A large warm presence joined him at the fish tank, looking in at the fish as well and Sebastian recognized the face and he would usually just walk away. Instead, he had a bone to pick with this particular boy, he'd hurt his man and forced a kiss onto him. He would hurt him back, justice. He also wasn't getting the message that Sebastian wasn't interested nor would ever be.
"I've seen you in here with so many different guys, even the ice queen. How do you manage it? How do you get boys in bed so easily?"
"It's not always a bed." Sebastian was barely holding on to his temper. Snotty he could handle, but 'Ice Queen' was a bit much. "It's easy for me, I'm attractive."
He nodded as if that was a given and he thought he was too, apparently. "So what do you say to them if it's that easy? How do you get them to like you?"
"You don't." Sebastian glanced at him. "You just sit back and let someone become desperate enough to spare you a chance and then you give them a fantastic blow job and they'll pat you on the head, thank you and you'll never see them again. That's all you're worth."
"Surely that's a bit limited, even if I'm not svelte like you or Fancy. I can be loved and loveable. Maybe it will take more effort on my part but I can get love too if I approach it the right way. Fancy even told me that."
"Fancy was lying." Sebastian groaned at his use of the terrible nickname, he was barely keeping himself from gritting his teeth. "He's just too nice, I'm honest. No one will ever love you, no matter what you do. Give it up."
Karofsky looked furious and Sebastian braced himself for a punch but he just spun around and walked away. Sebastian breathed a little easier but hoped that wasn't going to blow up in his face as well. He was a bit cruel. Someone had to like bear-cubs after all, he just wanted him to stop hitting on him and Kurt. Maybe once Blaine became available those two would hit it off, Blaine liked vulnerable boys and Karofsky liked smaller guys, there weren't many who came here who were smaller than Blaine (even if he were average height for an American male, those here in Ohio were just abnormally large).
Sebastian didn't see Karofsky again, or if he did, he kept a wide berth and it seemed Karofsky was doing the same. He doubted he'd stayed though, he probably went home in a pout.
Valentine's Day was on Tuesday and Sebastian thought about stopping by McKinley and inviting Kurt out to dinner in a town nobody else would be in or have connections too. Just that act though would betray all that they were working toward.
By the following weekend, Sebastian cursed himself and wished he'd gone with his initial gut reaction. Now he felt guilty as hell on so many fronts.
Karofsky had been the one giving Kurt the gifts and had invited him out to Valentine's Day dinner at Breadstix where some boys from his new school were also having dinner, out of town for them but in town for Kurt and Karofsky. Kurt had thought it was Blaine and had been putting on an act of happiness and anticipation since it'd been awhile since he'd gone home to recuperate and thought he was now going to be able to see him again. His parents hadn't let him in, and Blaine hadn't said when he would be allowed out again. With Karofsky's reveal he was dismayed and disappointed, he thought that he could take the first step in ending the relationship, but instead it just complicated things.
Apparently Karofsky thought that Kurt was free now that he hadn't seen Blaine around, thought Blaine had gone back to Dalton or something and that they'd broken up, he hadn't heard about the eye. He hadn't seen him with Sebastian either, thankfully, since apparently he was spying.
Kurt had tried to gently explain that he was still with Blaine and that he was appreciative of the efforts that Karofsky had gone through but he wasn't available. He hadn't lied, he hadn't twisted the truth, even if he weren't with Blaine, he still wasn't available. He tried to tell him that he was glad that he'd reformed and that it was hard that he was still into Kurt considering their very fraught history and they would be best off remaining purely and only friends. It was even harder since Karofsky still wasn't out to anyone but Kurt and those at Scandals and Kurt was so obviously gay that his secret would be out in seconds if they were ever spotted together. That Kurt wasn't willing to be a secret in someone's closet and that he wasn't afraid for people to know or see him with his boyfriend. He wouldn't go to another town just to go on a date. He'd go to another town for a very specific date but not because he wasn't allowed to date in town.
Karofsky didn't listen well and took it that Kurt just wasn't interested in him, old words said in the heat of anger, not knowing the truth about Karofsky, new words mingling together not just from Kurt but from Sebastian too to tell him he was worthless, unlovable and unattractive.
Perhaps it would have been fine, perhaps it would have ended there but the jock sitting nearby caught Karofsky's attention as he tried to leave. He was on a date with a girl on Valentine's Day and had seen Karofsky and Kurt together at a table in his hometown. "On a date, Karofsky?"
Kurt popped up and stood next to Karofsky, all about the defense and protecting others. He did too much of that. "No, I'm waiting for my boyfriend, he was just saying hi, we haven't seen each other since he transferred." It unfortunately didn't explain what Karofsky was doing in the restaurant in the first place on his own on Valentine's Day. They all knew the truth.
"See you at school tomorrow, Karofsky." The boy made it sound polite enough but he did not seem kind. Kurt and Karofsky shared one panicked look before Karofsky left and Kurt went back to his table. Sugar had promised a surprise in about a half hour, maybe he could fend off suspicions until then. He hadn't realized he'd effectively dampened Karofsky's confidence and self-worth even more by his comment about a boyfriend. He may have been able to save face a little had Kurt not effectively said that he wasn't even worth Kurt's attention, that he wasn't good enough for Kurt, that Kurt had someone else and Karofsky had made a shot and failed to get it into the goal.
There was no way that Kurt would know this when he spoke up, there was no way that he could anticipated that thought process between the two jocks because to him, that's not how relationships worked, that's not how self-worth was assessed or obtained. He had asked out a dozen guys, straight and gay and had been turned down every time, sometimes more nicely than others but he'd always bounced back, not taking it as a criticism against him directly but because of preferences and he just wasn't their type.
He'd gone through the Finn, Sam and Blaine debacles after all. He had tough skin when it came to asking boys out. Perhaps Karofsky had seen Kurt try and try and try again with Finn and Blaine and finally got Blaine (and Finn as a brother) and thought maybe he could do the same with Kurt.
Sebastian didn't know, he only knew this much as Kurt had come to Dalton, found his dorm room, pounded on the door and sobbed on his shoulder and let out what he'd recalled from that fateful dinner. How he had enough on his plate when Blaine came back to school on Wednesday and totally forget that Valentine's Day existed that year and his guilty feelings about unknowingly letting Karofsky try to woo him thinking it was Blaine. For letting 'Blaine' get away with it too, knowing what he knew, how he no longer liked Blaine like that but was still interested in being friends with him, feeling like he was using Blaine. So he had ignored Karofsky's texts and calls, not wanting to add to the guilt and weight on him by interacting with a boy he knew liked him, period. Made even worse since Blaine was there, able to see, able to get hurt. Had been suspicious about the calls and texts especially after his absence.
Sebastian let Kurt sob about the Valentine's Day dinner and guilty feelings about letting someone buy him stuff and not putting a stop to it once he confirmed it wasn't Sebastian. It wasn't appropriate but he let Blaine do it since they were in a relationship and it was kind of expected. He had planned on giving Blaine a gift too once he saw him but that went out the window when it was Karofsky. He let him sob about the missed calls and texts. Sebastian just really didn't get where Kurt was coming from. If someone wanted to spend the money on them, then let them. It wasn't like Kurt was leading Karofsky on. He was doing it to a small extent with Blaine but only because he was trying to break things off gently and gradually and not just drop it on his lap with such incredible shock.
Karofsky had been hitting on Sebastian the weekend prior, he obviously wasn't all that hung up on Kurt. Or maybe he was asking Sebastian so he could use it on Kurt? That pissed Sebastian off, not because he wasn't the intended target but because Kurt hadn't needed that. It was Karofsky's fault for pushing himself onto Kurt and not just this round but for years with the bullying and assault.
For someone in the closet, he sure did pick a very big, crowded, obvious venue, on Valentine's Day of all days. How did he expect to spin that if Kurt said yes? He was still out on a date on the most romantic day of the year with an obviously gay guy and he'd done it with a lot of build up and lead up and showed up with a gorilla costume and a heart shaped box of chocolates. For someone who wanted to remain in the closet, he definitely went about it in a way that was like a neon sign saying what his real intentions were. Perhaps he thought for Kurt to say yes, he had to do it that way, risk everything for who he wanted.
Sebastian actually had to give him some credit there, that took balls.
He didn't get why Kurt was feeling so guilty for silencing those phone calls, not listening to the voicemails or reading the texts. He'd made his position clear and Karofsky was ignoring it, more than that, he was harassing and badgering Kurt. He'd already admitted to stalking him to an extent.
"Then... then an unknown number called me and I thought it was him just getting a hold of someone else's phone and I almost ignored it, but if he was that desperate to get a hold of me, I had to answer it, right?"
"No." Sebastian growled and held Kurt close; Kurt had no idea what he'd done coming into Sebastian's room. This wouldn't go anywhere but he was able to wrap his arms around Kurt for the fist time, it was the first time they actually touched and it wasn't how he had planned it, hadn't been how he had wanted it but he would take it. It just confirmed what he'd already suspected. They fit perfectly together. Kurt was still crying and hiccuping and barely heard his next words. "He's psychotic. You don't have to play into his mental health issues."
"But he's not! I told him I would be there for him as a friend and I wasn't even able to do that much! It was his dad on the phone. Karofsky... he... David... he tried to kill himself and his dad found him trying to hang himself and managed to get him down and to the hospital. It was my number that was on the screen of his phone, still clutched in his hand and his dad was handed it at the hospital, they hadn't done anything further with it except pry it out of his grasp."
Sebastian shuddered and at first he couldn't think of his own actions or feel badly for David or his dad, no, his first thoughts were again what a psycho. He had played on Kurt's softness even at what he had thought would be the end, if he hadn't planned on it for to be an aborted attempt. It had failed and Sebastian wondered if he had made sure it wouldn't work or if he was just inept. Either way, that was a horrible message to send to Kurt.
Later, when he'd talked to Kurt after he visited Karofsky at the hospital, and after he'd spoken to David himself there, he realized he had just wanted to hear Kurt's voice one more time. That it had not been an effort to make Kurt blame himself, far from it. He had been the only positive thing in his life, even after he'd been dismissed by him a second and third time (now fourth). He had called Kurt and listened to his voice on the voicemail as he stepped off the chair, wanting it to be the last thing he heard. He wasn't expecting Kurt to save him, he had already made his decision with how bad it had gotten at school. Just the tip of the iceberg compared to what Kurt had gone through. He didn't want Kurt feeling guilty, but actually should be proud of himself because he was the only one to show David kindness and he wanted that to be what he left this life with hearing.
David felt horribly guilty when he realized how it looked to the outside world and he apologized profusely to Kurt for sending him through all that. The last thing he'd wanted was for Kurt to feel badly, didn't want Kurt to hurt himself over his actions. Kurt promised he was a bit tougher than that, even if he acknowledged things could still build up and smack people unexpectedly with their intensity and sheer weight.
David said that he'd thought though Kurt's words and admitted that he'd spun it all around in a tizzy in his head but had never once blamed Kurt. Kurt and David had talked for a long time, sorting everything out and Kurt left feeling a bit more relieved and new promises to answer his phone in the future. He still thought he could have done or said something to stop David's attempt.
Sebastian still wasn't sure but after talking with him, he realized David had just not measured the length of the tie right. He didn't let Sebastian so easily off the hook, Sebastian had after all intentionally lashed out and hurt him. He had contributed greatly to the suicide attempt and Sebastian's stomach rolled at the power he'd wielded against someone so vulnerable. He had even thought so when he railed against Karofsky but he hadn't realized how much. He didn't want to hurt anyone like that again.
He promised to change and knew Kurt was right, they needed to cool it until things could be dealt with. He added his poor attitude and cruel nature to the list. Until he was a better person, he had no business being with Kurt. So after an apology to Blaine the next time that he saw him at the coffee shop, he promised he'd leave them alone. He shared a look with Kurt. Kurt shook his head, he didn't want Sebastian to go that far but Sebastian needed to.
So Sebastian went about reforming himself over the next two months without a word to Kurt after that coffee sighting. He had nearly blinded one guy and contributed to a suicide attempt with his horrible, horrible and cruel words. He didn't want to hurt Kurt. He stuck to Dalton and worked on undoing the trouble Blaine had created there with Kurt, gently, kindly but determinedly. He did not see Kurt again except for at Sectionals and Kurt led the ovation to their performance and Sebastian had started up a charity for at risk youths.
Blaine invited them all after that to the play he was in. They were all in it actually and Blaine did a good job as Tony. Sebastian stopped to talk to Blaine along with the rest of the Warblers and while they gushed over him, Sebastian pulled away and headed backstage to where Kurt was hanging out. "You did a good job. You were hilarious."
Kurt shrugged. "Comic relief, that's all I'm good for." He glanced at Sebastian but didn't maintain the look, couldn't. "Haven't seen you for ages, except at Sectionals." Where they'd beaten the Warblers and were on the road to Nationals again. He'd heard all the Warblers grumbling about how it was only because of Blaine.
"You really were good up there and at sectionals too, glad they're using your talent more."
"I was once promised a solo but that's completely disappeared since I returned and Blaine followed." He sounded bitter about something but it wasn't completely directed at Sebastian, that much was obvious, there was something he didn't know.
"I couldn't keep my eyes off of you." Sebastian admitted even though it would cost both of them.
"I've always pulled focus, it's just because of who I am and what I am. I can't help it." He was ignoring the more intimate nature of what Sebastian was saying. "I tried out for Tony, actually, knowing that I pull focus and might as well be the lead up there, especially during my senior year, right?"
"Why didn't you get it?" Sebastian thought it would be an obvious choice too.
"Was told I wasn't manly enough to play the role of lovesick romantic fool but I could play a cop, that was believable." Kurt rolled his eyes and Sebastian knew where he was coming from.
"That's crazy." Sebastian looked around and took a step forward, his hands grasping Kurt's elbows. Oh, he'd missed the feel of Kurt in his hands, even if he hadn't had much experience with it, there was just something like homecoming any time he touched Kurt. "You're incredibly manly and believable in any role you apply yourself toward."
Kurt snorted. "You're the only one who thinks so. I was the only one who tried out for the role and they gave it to Blaine. Wouldn't surprise me if they'd have given it to Mike too if Blaine wasn't here. Finn didn't even bother trying out this time. He didn't want to be in this play. I don't blame him in the end, he knew he wouldn't be staring opposite Rachel this round and that's the only reason he'd put himself through the difficulties of stage theater. He acted upset though I know he's relieved not to have the staring role again, even if this time he didn't have to be in just his boxers."
"There's a lot to unpack there but I'm going to focus on the fact that you were the only one who tried out for Tony. You really didn't get it because of that?"
"Blaine sang a Tony song though in his audition but said he just wanted a side part. He's already the head male soloist. Of course they gave it to him and asked him to read for the part. He's managed to make the ND think that the reason the Warblers lost last year was because of me whereas with Blaine in the lead he was leading them to a National Championship, which he's doing for us this year. It was a no-brainer to pick him as lead here too with Rachel. I just feel bad for Mercedes, she should have been Maria."
"He didn't say no, that he was deferring it to you, like he'd promised?" Sebastian asked carefully, he hadn't seen if there was any progress with the breakup but it had been 2 months, maybe that's why he'd done it, acting out against Kurt. Maybe as punishment for breaking up with him. Or if they didn't break up, knowing it was something Kurt wanted and instead of manipulating him and giving him what he wanted for something Blaine wanted, he went after it instead, hurting Kurt purposefully in the process. Not that Kurt would have given it to him anyway.
"He keeps pulling this, he knows I'm going to break up with him so he throws a tantrum about something or making me seem shallow and little because I'm not getting what I want. So it makes it impossible for me to get out of this cleanly."
"You might just have to bite the bullet babe." Sebastian suggested softly.
"Maybe, if I knew there was someone I was biting the bullet for. Otherwise I can be patient, there's no rush if he's going to fight it so hard and I don't have anything to motivate me." Kurt was frustrated with Sebastian's distance. "I haven't exactly heard from you for a few months and now here you are, twice in one week!"
Sebastian was tempted to pull him into his arms. "I've done it for both of us, so you can get out cleanly and for me to pick up my act and be worthy of you when you're free. I'm not going to keep my distance any more, we have to figure something else out. I've missed you too much."
"Rich." Kurt complained but agreed, something had to give.