A/n I wasn't originally planning on updating so quickly but all your lovely reviews/comments have really blown me away so here is the next chapter!

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Turning As White As A Sheet

He doesn't know what to do. He feels the colour drain from him and he becomes weak at the knees but the gurgling of the baby, his son, in his arms stops him from collapsing. Instead, he decides to safely place him back in his crib so he doesn't risk dropping him. The action is clumsy, and it does make her grimace from the doorway, worried for a fleeting moment that he was going to drop her, their son. "H-he's mine?" Jane stutters and takes a step back, his head spinning and breathing becoming laboured. How is this possible? "I-I have a son?"

The words struggle to come out of his mouth because he truly has trouble believing them. Of course, he knows what he and Lisbon did back in Sacramento a little over two years ago but… he is a father again and the news has pulled the rug from his feet. "Yes, he's your son." Her voice cracks, the emotion hitting her thick and fast. "I didn't think I would ever get the chance to share him with you."

He looks back at his son who has seemingly sensed the strange mood in the air and has decided to settle down after all, but his bright blue eyes are still staring at his father and suddenly it all makes sense. Of course this is his son. The eyes, the curls… he is definitely a Jane. "William." He murmurs distractedly.

"William Patrick." His mouth falls agape at this new knowledge and all she wants to do is hug him, but she thinks that he needs the space and time to process what he has just learnt. To say that he is shellshocked would be a huge understatement. The fifteen-month-old coos happily from his crib, apparently very comfortable around the man who has just walked into his life. "Come on, let me make some tea and we can chat. Okay?" The mother suggests and Jane finds himself nodding.

"Can I bring him?" He asks, sounding very hopeful but she is already shaking her head.

"He needs to sleep."

"I understand." This isn't his first rodeo into fatherhood, he does understand the importance of a sleep routine but that doesn't mean he wouldn't rather spend the night hugging his son tight.

Reluctantly, he follows her out of the neutrally coloured nursery as their son's eyes flutter shut once more. He glances back towards the crib from the doorway and smiles for the first time since discovering the news. It may be unexpected, but this can only be a good thing. He then follows her downstairs.

They don't share any words whilst Lisbon makes some tea, he takes a seat at the kitchen table and lets everything sink in. It has been a crazy few days, he wasn't expecting coming back to the US and definitely wasn't anticipating being a father on his return. She lets him think in silence as the sight of the boiling water in the mugs turning an amber colour almost hypnotises her. She isn't really a big tea drinker and only kept them for guests, with hope that perhaps one day he would be one of them. He is the reason why she started to buy teabags in Sacramento all those years ago and it is habit she has struggled to break, mainly out of not wanting to.

Jane thanks her when she puts the cup in front of him before she takes a seat opposite her ex-consultant. He rests the palms of his hands on the hot china, to find some sort of comfort from the heat and he does start to feel the tension release from his form. "Does anyone know?" He asks, out of the blue. "Apart from Cho…"

"Cho knows?" It certainly is news to her if the agent knows about her son's true parentage. He never mentioned it, not once.

"I suspect he does."

"Hm…" She hums, wondering if the man ever thought to broach the subject with her. "I think Grace and Wayne guessed but they never asked for confirmation."

"Why's that?"

"They probably thought it would be too painful."

An uncomfortable silence settles between them after this omission and the guilt he feels is palpable. He knows that she is very capable of raising a child – she did raise her three younger brothers after all – but she shouldn't have had to do so alone. This wonderful woman deserves an idyllic life: the perfect family, the career that she desires and the house with a white picket fence, and he robbed her of that. That's how it seems anyway. "Tell me about William." He requests, thankfully breaking the quiet.

William Patrick Lisbon is fairly well behaved when it comes to fifteen-month-olds and is the ray of sunshine on her cloudy days. She enjoys recalling stories and character traits to the boy's father who sits there listening to every single word. The only noise he makes is when takes the occasional sip of tea.

The child apparently can walk quite competently for someone of his age but still looks clumsy when he goes to sit on the floor. He loves playing ball, colouring with crayons - especially red and orange ones - and building towers with his toy blocks. There was one incident when he threw one of the blocks at his mother but after her telling him off and some tears from the boy, he has not done it since.

He has two words in his vocabulary, "mama" and "juice", he makes sucking noises when he wants food. He loves to eat sticks of apple, cereal and egg but hates cucumber so much that it makes him bawl. She has been giving him a good structure from the day he was born because she knew that she would be returning to work only a few months after having him. This was sadly a necessity because of being a single mom with no child support, but he likes the staff at the nursery who look after him when she's working. "He's a good kid."

"He sounds it." Jane comments, his face blank from any expression but Lisbon quickly realises that he is trying to mask whatever emotions he is experiencing. She has seen him do it so many times before, but it doesn't get any easier. A part of her hoped that now the Red John stuff is finished, and he is back that he would find it easier to be open and honest with her, this doesn't look the case.

He watches her shoulders deflate as she sighs, her fingertips drumming on the side of her mug of untouched tea. It is only now he notices that she does look tired, he has seen her in this state before, many times, but now it is different because he knows the true reason behind her weariness and for once, it isn't work related. "It must have been difficult to face all this alone." He appreciates. "I'm sorry you had to do that."

"You're here now."

"I know but… I am sorry."

The brunette knows that she should be honoured to receive two Patrick Jane apologies within seconds of each other. He is a man who has always struggled to say sorry so when he does so it means a great deal. "I just had to cling on the hope that one day I may get to see you again." She replies earnestly and he detects the slight crack in her voice at the end before she clears her throat, obviously embarrassed to display vulnerability. She then continues to hide behind her explanation of what he has missed.

Being pregnant was as trouble free as it could be although the added stress of the FBI's investigation into her team's handling of the Red John case and into the Blake Association did take its toll. Fatigue seemed to be her constant condition and she was definitely more emotional than she has been before in her entire life. Thankfully she had support around her.

Grace was a godsend. She was the first-person Lisbon talked to about the pregnancy and she took her old boss to all her doctor's appointments, despite the busyness in her own life with trying to set up her surveillance business with Rigsby. She even was at the birth and if the baby was a girl, then she would have definitely been called Grace. No expression of gratitude would be enough to represent how much Teresa appreciated her presence throughout. She also appreciated her lack of questions about the baby's father, maybe because she thought it was best not to ask.

If Jane was the dad – which he is – then what use would it be talking about it when he was gone, out of her life. "Jane… if you knew that I was pregnant before-" Before he murdered Red John and got into heaps of trouble with the law. "-would you have done what you did?"

Her question floors him and he sucks in a breath. "I had to do what I did. For Angela and for Charlotte."

"Okay." She nods, deciding not to say anymore because she doesn't need to. He did what he did, and she isn't going to hold that against him. "What happens now?"

"I-I don't know." He stammers and runs a hand town his face tiredly. "I want to be a dad, I want to be there for him, for both of you… I am also tied into this FBI contract." Why are things never easy? "Would you come and live in Austin?"

"And do what?" He furrows his brow at this, but before he can reply she is continuing. "Jane things aren't like how they were before. You can't just whistle, and I will come running. I have to think of William."

As soon as the words leave her mouth, he is appalled that this is the impression she has because of their history. He knows that he was selfish, but now he wants what is best for his child and he thinks that being in his life, him having a dad, is so important. "I get that, I do. It isn't what I meant, I know and understand where your priorities lie." The I've been there, is lost on his lips. "What if I could get you a job?"

"At the FBI?" She raises her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Sure, why not? You're a great cop." The compliment earns a small smile from her. "I could talk to Abbott and-"

"Dennis Abbott? He's your new boss?" She remembers the FBI agent quite vividly and not necessarily for good reasons. He may have only been doing his job, but the manner in which he took over her team's Red John and Blake Association investigations and shut down the CBI were harsh. Until he knew for sure that the brunette wasn't part of the criminal network for bent cops, he made her feel so small and insignificant. "Wow. Good luck to him."

Her tone hurts Jane and when he leans back in the chair, she realises that she has upset him because his guard falters fleetingly, she can see the pain behind his eyes. Lisbon doesn't know if it is because his eyes are the same brilliant blue as their son's, but it makes her heart pang with guilt. "Do you not want to work with me again?"

"If I'm honest Jane… I don't know." She exhales wearily. "I loved those days, I really did but things got complicated before you left, you know that."

"Because we…" He awkwardly shrugs, indicating that he is talking about their night together and she nods. "Something good came out of it though. Someone."

"I know that. I love William more than anything in the world but that isn't what I meant. That night made you leaving so much harder and that was before I found out I was pregnant." He doesn't know what to say to this because she is heading into unchartered territory and he isn't sure he is ready to face up to certain feelings yet.

So, perhaps cowardly, he doesn't say a word, but this causes her to simmer a little with anger. However she makes herself hold her tongue because the last thing either of them need right now is an argument. Not when things are already so complicated. "I should be getting to bed. Work tomorrow." His disappointment is immeasurable at her announcement.

"Can I stop by in the morning? To see you and William." Both of you. He wants to see her, not just him. "We are staying in a motel tonight and aren't flying back until mid-morning."

"It will have to be quite early."

"I can do early." He shrugs, he would happily not even sleep if it meant spending time with them. "Is seven okay? Or earlier?"

"Seven is perfect."

xxx

Jane walked to the motel after saying goodnight. It was a long walk, almost an hour in fact, but he had no other means of transportation, no money for a cab and no phone to be able ring up Cho to pick him up. However, it gave him time to think about things, think of a potential plan for the future. On the Island he didn't feel like he had a future, it was like he was just floating from day to day, spiralling into boredom by the repeated daily routine. There was no point trying but now there is, now he does have a future. He has a son.

He did knock on Cho's door when he arrived at the motel just to show that he is back, and he didn't have to send out a search party. They didn't discuss what happened at Lisbon's but instead shared a knowing nod before he went to his own room to try and sleep. There wasn't much sleeping, his mind too busy working at a hundred miles per hour.

Arriving at her house at exactly seven o'clock, she answers the door holding William in her arms, resting him on her hip, and the image before him makes his heart leap out of his chest. "Right on time." She comments whilst letting him inside, he closes the door behind himself. "How did you sleep?"

"I didn't really." He admits with a lop-sided smile. "How about you?"

"I dozed a little but nothing substantial, and then this one woke me up at five." William coos, like he knows that he's being talked about, making his parents chuckle. "Do you mind giving him his breakfast whilst I finish getting changed?" She looks to be half ready for work, she is wearing uniform trousers but a pyjama tee on her top half, her hair is tied back neatly. She rarely used to tie her hair up back at CBI, be he understands that there are different requirements as a police chief. You need to look a certain way – an archaic attitude in his opinion.

"Of course." He follows her into the kitchen where there is all sorts of clutter on the counter as she has tried to get ready for the day ahead. Various plastic boxes containing different foodstuff what he assumes includes her lunch and whatever food their son eats at nursery. There is also a crumb-covered plate and an empty mug from what he supposes was her breakfast, she has done very well to do all this when William has been awake for two hours already.

Lisbon carefully seats the boy in his highchair and straps him in securely. "He has had some of his bottle, so he won't need loads of milk on his cereals." She indicates to a box of multi-grain hoops on the side. "He will need a bib. He is a messy eater."

"Well, he is a baby." She glowers at his sarcasm whilst chucking the bib straight at him, but he manages to catch it with a light laugh. "I've got this, you go finish getting ready."

The domesticity of the situation is something they could both easily get used to, the three of them sharing a morning routine together. Like a normal family.

He prepares his son's breakfast with so much ease it is almost like he has been doing it every morning, not that he found out about the boy's existence last night. He takes his time to feed William, remembering the patience required when feeding small children. They get distracted at every little noise and movement, that usually results in cereal and milk cascading down their face – the bib was definitely necessary.

Jane talks to him like he would to a fully grown human, talking about the weather and his plans for the day. When he mentions his journey, he makes aeroplane noises as he scoops the cereal-clad plastic spoon towards his son's mouth. William gurgles at him every so often as if he is listening to and understanding every word that he is saying. Briefly, the mentalist goes to open his mouth to mention Charlotte but quickly closes it again with the shake of his head, now isn't the time.

When the young child starts to blow bubbles in the milk, his father realises that he has had enough of his breakfast and starts to clear things away. In the process he happily tidies the rest of the kitchen, doing the washing up that was in the sink and packing his son's bag for nursery with the pots of food on the side. Whilst examining the contents of the bag, identifying the diapers and baby wipes, he makes a mental note to sort out access to his money as soon as he gets back to Austin. He recalls how expensive it is, having a child, and now that he is back, he doesn't want Lisbon paying for everything. He owes her and their son a lot at this point.

After finishing getting ready, she returns downstairs – now in her full uniform – but she hovers in kitchen doorway just in time to witness the curly-haired man planting a kiss on top of their son's head and it makes her heart flutter. She can see the bond they've already formed and the last thing she wants to do is now split them up. "If there is a way for us to move to Austin…" She finds herself saying and his eyes snap to meet hers. "Then I think that would be a great idea."

"You do?" He beams and she nods in response, making his smile widen further. "I will talk to Abbott about- wait, you don't mind if I tell people about this?"

"Trust me, I am so glad that this doesn't have to be a secret anymore."