Chapter 2

30 minutes later

Shortly after tapping his knuckles on the door, Elliot is greeted by a puffy-eyed, sniffling Olivia. "God, Elliot, what do you want?" she groans, wiping at her eyes in attempt to remove any trace of tears. But to no avail, it's obvious she had been crying. Even if the evidence had been washed from her face, she knows he would still sense it. As much as she tried to convince him (and even herself) that he no longer knows who she is, he does. They immediately tuned back in to each other's emotions, and they even started to move in sync again.

It's magnetic, and there's no convincing herself otherwise.

"I, uh," he mumbles, scratching the back of his head while looking at his feet. "I didn't want to leave things like that." He guides his eyes back up to hers. Seeing the pain within them shoots a wave of guilt through his body, settling in his stomach with enough force that he could vomit.

"Please tell me you see the irony in that statement," she replies with a distinct annoyance in her tone, followed by a light sniffle.

He chuckles uncomfortably, "Yeah, Liv...Olivia. I'm sor-" She throws up a hand to cut him off.

"Don't," she shakes her head. "Just...don't." She backs away from the doorway, giving him the opportunity to join her inside or walk away. The rational part in her hopes he leaves. The rest of her hopes he follows her inside. Truthfully, she's tired of leaving things unfinished between them, but she doesn't have it in her to be the one that puts in the effort. He takes the hint, stepping in and softly closing the door behind him.

"I have wine," she says, opening up a cabinet and grabbing another glass to join hers on the counter.

Even though it's still the late afternoon, he figures it best not to refuse her at this point. "Uh, sure, thanks." He tries to force a smile, but she is focusing her attention on pouring his glass and refilling her own. She pushes his across the counter toward him. "Thanks," he mumbles again. He considers cracking a joke about day drinking, but bites his tongue.

After taking a long drink, she sighs. "So why did you really come here?"

He shrugs, "Like I said, I just...I want to work towards a resolution, Liv." He furrows his brows and shakes his head, "uh, habit."

"El," she whispers, "it's fine." She starts absentmindedly reaching across the counter to touch his hand, but recoils before making contact when she realizes what she's doing. "I was just mad. I wanted to..." she looks away when she feels the tears start welling up again. "I just wanted to feel like I had some control."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I mean this whole situation," she shakes her head, and whispers, "everything was out of my control." She grabs her wine glass and turns away to rest her back against the counter ledge. "You leaving, you coming back, all of my emotions. I've had no handle on any of this, and it's so foreign." He hesitates momentarily, but walks around the counter to stand at her side. She presses her lips together in a tight line, then turns her head to meet his eyes. "Elliot, what did you expect me to do? You were the most important person in my life, and you just," she trails off dropping her head. "Disappeared."

His throat is tightening, and he feels moisture building up in his eyes. "I know," he whispers.

"You were gone when I needed you the most," she admits, a lone tear traveling down her cheek. She just lets it fall. There is no use in trying to conceal this sadness anymore.

He clears his throat to try and force words out of his mouth. "I just convinced myself that you didn't need me anymore."

A whimper escapes her throat as a couple more tears flood down. "I always," she whispers, her breath shaking from the threatening sobs she's burying, "needed you." She sets her glass down behind her and faces him. His eyes are red now too. She's never seen him this raw before. "I always needed you," she repeats with more strength behind the words.

"And when I didn't check in?" he inquires.

She nods and glances down at her feet. She knew he wouldn't have let that go. "Maybe we should sit." She leads the way to her couch and he joins her while she pulls her knees up toward her chest. "I've gotten better over the years, but this is still never easy to talk about."

"I know it doesn't mean much anymore, but you can trust me with anything," he tells her, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. She surprises herself when she doesn't wince. Anytime William Lewis is on her mind, she flinches at any physical touch, but Elliot is different. Elliot is always different.

She nods in response. She shouldn't trust him, but she does. It's impossible not to. She didn't expect to fall back into this routine so easily, and she's equally comforted and terrified by that. "I don't want to get into all the details today," she leans forward and taps her phone sitting on the coffee table to check the time, "especially because I have to pick Noah up from his friend's shortly." She leans back into the couch, folds her hands, and rests her chin. "But um." She drops her hands and picks at a nail, incapable of staying still. "A few years ago, I was taken hostage by a serial rapist."

Elliot tries not to react when he hears those words fall from her mouth, but he chokes from the shock. His hand flies to his mouth, and he clears his throat a couple times to regain his composure.

"I know," she whispers, "it's not easy to hear. But he uh, he never raped me. Abused me, kept me tied up and handcuffed to a nasty, old bed." She pauses to clear her throat to keep her voice steady. She wasn't ready to look at Elliot. "Forced alcohol down my throat, held my gun to my head too many times. I really thought I was going to die." She peeks up at him to find a couple silent tears running down his face, and she gives a pained smile, as if she's the one trying to comfort him. "I uh, managed to break free though. Broke off a pole from the bed frame, knocked him out, handcuffed him." She closes her eyes and sucks in a deep breath. "Told him what my old partner would have done to him... Broken his whole body."

"Damn right," Elliot whispers.

"I lost control of myself and beat him with that pole. I should've just shot him, but I wanted him to suffer." She hunches over in an exaggerated shrug. "The trial was hell. He represented himself and tortured me up on that stand. He lost, of course, but he managed to break out of prison. Took a little girl hostage and lured me back to him. Forced me to play Russian roulette, and I don't how I fucking survived, but I did." She closes her eyes and lifts her hands up to her face. "I can still feel his warm blood dripping down." She traces her trembling fingers down her cheeks. "Eventually everything was over. The nightmares haven't left yet. It's not every night. Sometimes not every week. But when they come..."

"Olivia," he finally says. "I'm so.. If I would've known.. I should have-"

She squeezes her eyes shut. "I know," she whispers, "I know." His arms wrap around her shoulders, and he pulls her body into a cradle against his chest. She can feel his jagged breaths, and she knows he's crying. She nuzzles against him and lets everything out. All of the hurt built up from his ten years of absence is streaming down her cheeks. With every exhale, she's releasing the confusion. Exhale. The anger. Exhale. The betrayal. Her body is shuddering from the sobs, and he grips her tighter, his chin resting on her head and his own tears disappearing into her brunette waves.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

She swallows sharply before releasing a huge gasp of air. His grip on her loosens, and she leans back. Their bloodshot eyes find each other's, and she tries to smile. "I'm sorry," he says once more. She stays silent, fully absorbing the sight in front of her. Elliot Stabler, with swollen eyes and damp cheeks looking back at her with the most sorrowful expression she's ever seen painted across his face.

"You can't leave me again," she chokes out.

"I couldn't if I tried, Olivia. To have heard your voice, seen your face," his hand hesitantly cups her cheek. "There's no way in hell."

She pulls away from his touch. "Then how did you leave before?" she questions.

His hand finds her cheek again as well as his second on her other cheek. Holding her face, he leans in. "With silence. Liv, don't you get it? I could never tell you goodbye. So I just...didn't." His forehead falls down to hers, and his eyes close. "I couldn't," he exhales, his breath tickling her lips. She shuts her eyes too and lets him hold her like this. Their proximity is making her heart race, but she refuses to move.

Her eyes flutter back open when she feels his forehead leave hers. She's never seen his blue eyes so intense before, and it should scare her. But it doesn't.

"Elli-" she doesn't have time to finish his name because his lips are now covering hers. The initial shock fades away quickly as she relaxes into his kiss. It's an impossible mix of delicate and aggressive. Somehow his lips are soft against hers, but with ferocity from the tension that has accumulated over two decades. He releases the kiss after a few seconds, allowing her to catch her breath from the surprise. He presses a soft peck to her lips once more, then brushes his nose against hers.

This is all she desired for years. She can't help but smile. Another tear slips down, the ten-year cleanse nearing its end. He swipes his thumb across her cheek to clear it. That's when the feeling of metal registers against her cheek. She pulls back suddenly, grabbing his left hand. "My god, Elliot!" she exclaims staring down at his wedding band with wide eyes. "We just- what about-" she stammers.

"Hey, hey," he soothes. "Liv, it's fine. I should've told you sooner. We aren't together anymore."

She doesn't budge.

"I only wear this to keep a persona for my job. It's not my actual wedding ring," he explains, covering her hand with his other and squeezing it gently between his two.

She blinks the frozen expression away. "But I don't... I'm confused. Fin told me it was Kathy's idea to come to my ceremony tomorrow night. How-"

"It was. She's still been living in Italy, so Eli had both of his parents around. But since I have to move back, she is too. We're on good terms, Liv. All of our kids had both of us around, and that wasn't going to change for Eli. Even under two roofs."

She nods in understanding. "I see. But that still doesn't explain?"

"Kathy told me to go, yeah, and she was going to accompany me. I didn't want to show up after all of these years and ruin your night, but she told me that wasn't possible. I still figured it would be better to see you ahead of time."

"I guess I still don't understand why she would want that. I mean..." she trails off.

He removes a hand from hers to stroke her cheek. "Liv, she just wants me to be happy. We want that for each other." He smiles warmly, his eyes melting into hers. Her lips curl upward, returning the warmth. "Come here," he whispers, pulling her into an embrace. Her arms wrap willingly around his body, her fingers desperately digging into his back. He wraps one arm around her waist and uses his other hand to stroke her hair gently. She sighs against him, letting her body soften into his. She feels his lips nestle into her hair to press a kiss atop her head.

That's when her phone interrupts with a chime. She regretfully separates from Elliot and bends over to check the notification. It's a reminder. "I have to pick up Noah," she tells him.

He nods. "Then I'll be on my way." He leans back in and swiftly kisses her cheek before standing up. He offers his hand, and she accepts. He collects the wine glasses from the coffee table and brings them back into the kitchen to set in the sink. She watches in awe. Just over an hour ago, they were standing in there, awkwardly sipping wine and trying to explain their feelings. Now, she's getting ahead of herself and picturing him in her kitchen every night to come.

He retrieves the jacket that he left draped over a chair when they moved to the couch. She watches him wordlessly as he puts it on, then makes his way toward the door. He looks back at her with a smile. "I'll talk to you tomorrow," he declares, to which she nods in agreement.

He turns the doorknob, opens the door, and steps out, but she stops him before he's gone. "Actually, Elliot," she calls.

He pauses and turns back around to face her. "Yeah?"

"Um," she begins, letting a smile overtake her. "Would you like to meet someone?"

Thank you for reading the addition! I'm probably going to finish it here. xx