"James, we need to talk."

The Lily-infested part of his brain, having suddenly detected an alarming amount of Lily-voice and Lily-smell and Lily-body-heat, jumped a figurative three feet into the air and kicked into overdrive at the sensory overload, promptly instructing his motor skills to cease activity and the speech part of his brain to shut down. It was exasperating, because the conscious part of his mind could only watch with figurative head in figurative hands as his inkwell went flying and he fell out of his char only to clamber back on, clutching at the part of his chest that was shielding his palpitating heart.

Her reaction, decidedly lacking the enthusiasm of his, only proved to wound his ego. She raised an eyebrow.

"Fuck Lily, kill me why don't you," James gasped, rubbing his chest.

Her brows dipped downward. "We need to talk."

The world was turning on him. He knew it. James rubbed the end of his nose.

"Okay," he agreed.

Lily grabbed his wrist without preamble and dragged him across the common room, weaving her way through the hordes of students as she expertly avoided projectiles and disturbing bits of junk hovering in the air. James considered protesting at being manhandled but relented when he realized that being manhandled by his girlfriend frankly wasn't all that bad a prospect. It was quite some time before he realized where he was being lead. He felt a sinking feeling when he recognized the empty room. Lily shut the door loudly behind them and turned around to face James.

"Erm," James cleared his throat, looking slowly around the room, "Can I convince you to change our current location?"

Lily crossed her arms and looked carefully at James, "We ought to talk."

"So you said," James muttered. He looked up casually and ended up staring at awe at the ceiling.

"Lord, I think those are Peter's Winnie the Pooh socks from fifth year that he used to use to wank…how the hell…?"

"James," Lily said impatiently. "Sirius told me what's wrong."

That caught James's attention. "What?"

"Sirius told me what's wrong," Lily repeated slowly, "And I'm going to help him out."

"Sirius told you?" James demanded, "It took me two weeks to figure it out and he told you?"

The entire situation reeked with unfairness. Sirius and Lily, everybody knew, tolerated each other for James's sake, and his sake alone, and it actually rather flattered him and appealed to his sense of importance (James could practically see Remus's disapproving look, disturbing as the potency of Remus's moral compass was). It was exasperating sometimes—he often wished that the two of them could sit across from each other for two minutes without jinxing each other's hair, but things were obviously progressing to much deeper waters much too quickly and James was frankly annoyed that they'd left him stranded on the shores.

Was it too much to ask for a semblance of normalcy? There was only so much change James could shoulder at once.

Would it really be so bad if everything remains just as it is?

Poor Sirius.

Lily scowled, "I…we…I found out."

James's eyebrows shot up at the blush that was creeping across Lily's face.

"That's not the point though," she scowled again, "I want to help Sirius."

James's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. Lily wanted to help Sirius. Sirius Black. Lily Evans. Wanted to help. Merlin…

Lily squirmed under James's blank stare and she looked miserably down at her feet. "It's terrible, isn't it? I don't know what's wrong with me."

James adjusted his glasses. He really must stop all his fidgeting and start using his vocal cords to communicate.

"It's just," Lily began morosely with a sigh, "It's just, he looks so sad. So…forlorn. And the way he looks at Remus is utterly heartbreaking. He follows him everywhere, and listens to everything he says, and puts his books away for him when he falls asleep while reading, and picks leaves out of his hair when we're outside walking, and just today morning, Remus dropped his fork at breakfast and Sirius fetched it from under the table for him and when their fingers connected over it and their eyes met it was like the table would explode and have you seen the way Sirius checks out his ass? Or how he covers his lap with a pillow when Remus sits too close? Oh, it was so sweet and disturbing that I realized I must do something about it, you know?"

James realized he was slowly turning very green as images accompanying Lily's narration flashed like scenes of a movie behind his eyelids. He really did not need that. He shook his head, and thought over what she said, skipping the physical responses Sirius displayed around Remus and his proximity, and acknowledged reluctantly the truth behind her words.

He also noted, slightly indignant and resentful, that if he'd realized Lily's strange and limited preferences in romantic gestures, he would've picked up Lily's fork for her too, had he honestly not been too terrified of being impaled on it upon emerging from under the table.

Lily groaned and buried her head in her hands. "It's ghastly, I tell you. But…I just…"

"What is it, love?" James asked kindly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I do care for Sirius!" Lily suddenly burst into a loud wail. "I do care for Sirius, and I didn't want you to find out, but I had to tell somebody besides Remus, and he was really nice about it, mind you, he swore he wouldn't tell anybody, but I had to tell you, James!"

"Why didn't you tell me before?" James croaked, trying to wrap his mind around this new development.

"I'm getting soft," Lily admitted in a tiny voice, "I thought maybe it would make you like me less…"

James prided himself on being a very compassionate and expressive person. He grabbed Lily's face and kissed her enthusiastically.

"I love you all the same, Lily-flower," James told his girlfriend cheerfully, his ego purring contentedly, "Nothing you do can deter me. At all. Ever."

Lily gave a small smile. "You're a darling, James."

"Anything for you," James told her, and he meant it to. Anything at all.

"So, you'll let me sneak around and scheme and meddle in what is clearly not my business in order to get Sirius and Remus together?"

Sirens were suddenly blaring at the back of his mind, and James eyed his girlfriend warily. Lily scheming was not a good thing. It was a terrible, frightening, altogether alarming thing which he had vowed to mitigate at all costs because this was none of their business, as she had astutely pointed out, and Sirius ought to be given his privacy. He would not allow this.

"Lily, I don't think you should—"

"—Wonderful," Lily said cheerfully, all traces of woe and uncertainty gone. "I love you James, you're a sweetheart. Well, it's stuffy here. Let's take this to my room, shall we?"

James opened his mouth to protest. Lily stood eagerly in front of him, smiling at him prettily and looking altogether very inviting, and he weighed this against his moral duty to his best mate and the voice of his conscience telling him to do the noble thing.

"Sod it," He shrugged, grabbing Lily and marching resolutely out of the room for a late-afternoon snog.