Synopsis:

She was happiness. She was joy. A charming little girl with who would always see the positive side of things and try to find the good in people's heart. . . That girl was me, at some point. An innocent soul with a pure heart along with the mindset where everyone would get their happily ever after, prince charming and everything like in most fairy tales. . .

But this story is not one of those.

There is no prince charming or a knight in shining armour, but I can guarantee you that there will be dragons with flames, demons from many kinds, creatures from legends, and battles like no other.

But the greatest fight of all is. . . The conflict within the heart with weapons that many know as. . .

Emotions. . .

I am Miyuki Urameshi. The girl who lost her spark, but ended up coming back as the whole damn fire.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or the show's characters, only my OCs. One OC, however, belongs to a friend of mine ( _b.b.e_art_ on Instagram.)

️Warning: There will be cursing, violence, blood and other stuff that you might not like. So read it with your own responsibility. ️

The sun has retired from its daily duty and now it was the full moon that took over its job. By the beginning of that, mom and I managed to set everything up. It's still hard to believe that this is happening. I never ever wanted to be at my own brother's funeral at a time like this. . .

. . . This early. . . .

As I sat next to my mother I watched the people walk in and out, telling their prayers or share some words with my brother. I felt sick of my stomach because most of the people were from Sarayashiki Junior High where Yusuke and I were studying. My classmates were here, but even though my eyes didn't look at them my ears detected their laughter and somewhat cheerful and relieved voices.

My stomach did a flip as I was gritting my teeth in secret and rage.

These jerks disgusted me in many level, but my anger toward those so-called 'classmates ' was nothing compared to the anger I felt toward myself.

Life is so short, but it's worth living for. That's what most people say. But what's the point of living it when so many would die unfairly and so soon anyway? Some would argue that 'Maybe it was meant to be' but I don't believe in that much, because let's be frank here, that's a lot of bull crab in most of these cases.

Like the one, I had witnessed from two years ago.

First him, and now my brother next. The only thing I don't understand is how did this even happen in the first place? But more importantly, how did I let this happen right under my nose? How could I?

It seemed just like a few hours ago that I had last seen him heading outside because as usual, he was not in the mood for attending class.

'Damn you Miyuki! You could have prevented him from doing something stupid, but you didn't!' I scolded at myself in my mind as hands curled up into fists and nails dug onto my skirt's fabric.

But then a sobbing of someone brought me back to reality. I lifted my face that had the blank and emotionless mask I would usually wear in front of people, and looked at the source of the voice. A brunette girl with long hair separated in pigtails along with sad hazel orbs that are crying the salty tears, drops that would be enough for creating one long river.

'Keiko.' I called her name in my mind as I felt the sorrow deepen within me, even though my expression was as empty as a blank canvas.

I watched her two friends lead her outside, but before they were completely out of my sight one of them gave me a stink eye like I was the one that made her friend upset.

I let out a breath as I kept on watching the people come in and out pretending to care about my brother and my family's grief.

"Come on, let's go back! This isn't right!" "SHUT UP! LET GO OF ME WOULD YA?!" Two voices shouted at each other. I turned to the entrance to take a better look at the conflict, but who came in next was the only person I least expected.

'What? Kuwabara?' I couldn't believe it with my own eyes. What is that punk doing here?!

"Damn you!" The guy with orange hair and light blue uniform called angrily as his hand finally got the door frame. His loud and irritating voice caught many people's attention. "You think you can just back down cause you're scared!" Kazuma continued on as the teen thug from my school pushed himself over to Yusuke's casket. I didn't say anything, only watched the entire scene unfold before my eyes like it was a scene from a movie.

"Kuwabara, this place is for mourning. " Reminded one of his friends as he tried to pull his leader away from the area.

"I'm not gonna leave, not until he comes out here and lets me fight him!" Kuwabara didn't care and just kept pushing himself to go further and further.

"He can't do that!" Another one of the gang members said as he was holding onto his leader's shoulders.

"I'm gonna beat you down you punk! You hear me!" The young thug exclaimed as his hand reached for the picture that is all black and white. The teen's voice cracked all the way with desperation and sadness, something that took me off guard, because I never thought this jerk would actually have feelings like these toward my brother in that way. Like he is a friend or some sort. "And you'll get back to make fun of me! Do you hear me, you idiot! Who do you think you are, huh?" At each sentence, his voice became more and more bitter and sorrowful making me share a little of my sympathy to my school mate. "Dirty punk, stupid idiot. Who am I gonna fight now? Who am I gonna fight?!" The sight made me crumble inside, even though I kept the outside emptiness from any emotion.

"He is gone!" His friend reminded him, which didn't settle on his mind. Kuwabara raised his fist up and went to punch the picture. However, as his fist was about to touch the glass it stopped in the very last second.

"You're supposed to be here, for me!" Kuwabara cried as a single tear dropped onto his fist. "For your sister!" And then small sobs began to escape from the boy. At the mention of 'sister' I frowned a little.

"Let's go." Said the gang member as he and his friend managed to finally drag away his leader out of the house.

"Sorry about all of that." Kuwabara's friend apologized as he and the others left with the teachers and other students watching them with confusion and disgust.

'Who would have guessed. . . ' I still couldn't believe this just happened. A little while later Mr. Takanaka entered our house.

As soon as he set one foot into the room we were in an uncomfortable shiver rand down my spine like someone just poured ice-cold water onto the back of my uniform.

What is this? Why do I feel so cold all of a sudden?

I lifted my head up to look at my teacher, but I didn't saw anyone else's presence besides Mr. Takanaka's. Sighing, I hung my head down, setting my gaze back down at my lap.

Don't be ridiculous Miyuki. This is just grief taking over your head.

"At first I was so surprised Yusuke. To hear you save a kid at the cost of your life, you always acted much more selfishly." I watched Mr. Takanaka's head drop down as he began clenching his fists on his knees. "Darn, Yusuke. I don't know why I don't feel like speaking well of you. " That very sentence made the lump in my throat even bigger, because I know how he felt. Out of all people at school, besides Keiko and I, Mr. Takanaka was the only teacher who was actually doing his job and help instead of using his status as a power source to abuse students unlike some other teachers. "Why didn't you stay?" A single tear slipped out of his eyes, making me feel bad for him even so. "You could have made something great out of yourself." By this point, he was crying harder. I've never seen this side of him before. A small frown on my face got harder as the pain inside of me double up.

"Yusuke. . ." I hear my mother whisper out, gravely. Then she broke into a fit of sobs and began to hug her knees close to her while burying her face into them. My frown began to fade away and the emotionless mask was back there once more. I closed my eyes for a moment as I took a deep breath.

"This way." I heard an unfamiliar voice. I looked up over the door to see a mother and her son dressed in black. That kid might be the one Yusuke had saved today.

"Yes, mommy." Replied the little boy as he began to approach my brother. They sat on their knees and put their hands together.

"Now you should say something to honour him." Said the mother as he turned to the little boy who nodded in reply.

"Thank you for saving my life and making faces and cheering me up." The small child said with a smile on his face. My heart broke at that. It's just so sad that he doesn't even understand what is going on. . .

Such an innocent soul. . . just like Sanyu. . .

After the people left our house, I lead my mother to her room to get some rest, so in that way, I can talk to my brother privately.

With all honesty, I never thought there would be a time when I would do something like this. In fact, I never imagined I would do this. . . In this way so to speak. . . Not to mention way too soon.

As I settled myself in front of the casket I searched through my vocabulary.

What can I even say?

I am a horrible person. All I do is isolate myself from others because I don't want to bother or distract them with my emotions.

I don't want them nor anyone to see me as that vulnerable cry baby I once was. I hate being weak.

Be so vulnerable like a helpless rabbit who was targeted by a pack of wolves in the wild forest. . . .

Sucking up the fresh air deeply into my lungs and then letting them out I looked at my brother's black and white picture and began to speak.

"Hey, there punk!" I started as I began tasting the bitterness on the tip of my tongue. Then I felt the cold wind racing down my back again, but I ignored it for the time being. . .

"I. . . To be fair, I don't know what to say to you." I sighed as my face kept the emotionless expression, even though my true feelings were begging me to be let out like caged birds.

"You jerk, just. . ." I struggled so much. Why? Why is it so hard to speak to my own brother who was always there for me, even after the stupid decision I made. . .

"How could you?" I asked him sounding a little enraged. "How dare you leave me and Keiko like that?" Chest tightened as I felt the stinging sensation on my eyes that I quickly blink away. I am not going to cry, not now, not ever. I vowed to be stronger.

To never vent my sadness onto others. . .

"Have you ever thought of the people who still care about you? " My voice cracked in the slightest moment, like glass under the pressure that was going down on the surface slowly.

"Have you thought how mom would feel or how Keiko would feel? No, not relieved that's for sure, because even after being such a brat all the time they still saw the good in you. Even me brother dearest." I took a long breath. "I know I hadn't been the nicest nor kindest sister to you in the past two years Yu-yu. . ." I trailed off a little as I remembered this nickname I used to call him when we were little. "But making that decision for myself was not easy either, because I knew my behaviour would affect the people around me." I inhale as I prepare myself mentally for my next sentence. "Just like Sanyu's death, that affected me greatly." I feel my words began to cover themselves with sorrow while I fought my upcoming tears back hard. Really hard. "I miss him just like you do, and I know for a fact that he never wanted this for you Yusuke. . . ." It's been so long that I had mentioned that name. . . But no matter how long my voice avoided to say it, it will forever be a painful thing to do.

Suddenly I felt someone touch my left shoulder, turning my reflexes on and jump up in a fighting stance, just like how my brother would.

"What the. . . ?" I breathed out as my eyes scanned the area around me. No one was here except me and. . . technically my brother. . .

"Yusuke. . . ?" I called out softly as I took a glance at his framed picture.

"Hn." I shook my head violently. "Pull yourself together Miyuki." I scolded at myself. "This is all in your head." And with that I went into my room to change from my school uniform, to my PJs.

Once the door closed behind my little sister I left the house and fly away. I cross my legs and just watched the full moon shine with its glory.

Maybe Miyuki and the others are right. I can't leave just yet. . .

I can't do this to them. . . not after what they had done for me. . .

"Well, have you made your decision?" The pink Grim Reaper, Botan asked me from behind.

"Botan, hey?" I half greeted and asked her.

"Yes, dear?" She asked me curiously.

"Have you ever not known about something, that seemed obvious to everybody else? " Then I began to see the faces of the few people who actually had their best interest at heart when it came to me.

"That happens to us all I think." She replied truthfully and after a long pause, she spoke again. "So, are you ready now?" She asked. I guess my mind already made up the answer.

"Yeah, I am." I replied a bit dazed.

"Good to hear! " Exclaimed the blue-haired girl excitedly and cheerfully. "Now let's not waste any time and get this thing started." She then unexpectedly flew around me fast. It took me a good hot second not to let my hands slip from that girl's paddle thing. As I struggled to hold onto it while I hear Botan laugh.

"Hey! Where are you gonna take us?!" I asked her confused.

"To the Spirit world!" The pink Grim Reaper replied simply.

"To the What?!" I asked in a shouting way.

"To the spirit world." Botan repeated her answer. "We're going to see someone will explain the ordeal to you and give you what you need. " Now that sounded interesting.

"Wait a second, what do I need?!" I asked her. What do I need to be alive again?

"You'll see." Botan giggled before speeding off making me almost slip.

"HEY!" I shouted at her, but she ignored it completely and just continued on flying up higher into the sky.

Geez, what did I get myself into this time?