Authors note:
First of all, thanks for all the encouraging reviews guys!! I can't believe that some people out there, enjoy my writing. It's so overwhelming.. I got some hate comments too, but I don't mind them. I decided to update, because your reviews really motivated me :).
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me
Not one day goes by, where Hinata is not plagued with all these dark thoughts. Neji is always on her mind and she has no other choice. He's even hunting down her dreams to be the nightmares, she's afraid of.
Hinata just want to sink further into the bathtub. Maybe then, God would decide to end her life. They would be together again. Come to think of it.. she would see her mother and uncle again, too.
She's taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. The new bath supplements are not really working. Why would they state, that the smell of it is soothing, when it's not?
Her father told her that even if someone dies, they will always be here, among the living. They will live inside your mind and heart. But how can her brother live there, when she's not even remembering his smell?
She thinks that maybe, she will remember his eyes through some of their other clansmen, but not even one of them has the same shade of eyes like him. No one will compare to him and his courtesies.
Is this what her father was going through, when his wife died? No wonder he got colder towards them after her death.
Is this what her father was feeling when his twin brother died? No wonder he hates her guts, after all she was the reason for his death too.
Maybe it's her purpose. To lure people into their deaths. She didn't want all of that. What horrible thing did she ever do, to earn this grief? Maybe if the kidnapping as a kid had succeed, everyone would be at a better place. Happier, without her trying to break everything and everyone she comes across with.
Just for a moment she imagines how everything would be, if she were in Neji's place. Her father would be happier. Hanabi wouldn't be sad, like she is now. Her clansmen wouldn't lose their hope on ever banning the cursed seal.
Tenten, Lee and Gai wouldn't be depressed. And the guilt she's currently carrying on her shoulders, would disappear. Everything would be better.. better than the present she's living in now.
Perhaps her Team would mourn her.. but wouldn't they be happier to lose the weight of her weakness? She's never a help, always a burden. That was her purpose since she was born..
She needs to get out of the bath, before she gets a panic attack.
Just as she promised, Sakura came earlier to spoon fed Naruto some ramen. They're delicious just as always. It's feeling a little intimate, because they're alone in the room.. and she's feeding him ramen.
His childhood rushes before his own eyes. Yeah he didn't even remember some of the things the two of them got through in their childhood, but it has a nice nostalgic feeling to it.
"Uh thanks Sakura. Ya know, thought for a moment that I would never ever see those Ramen again!"
That earned him a hearty laugh from Sakura. Yeah he's still funny.. like always. She's happy that the war didn't change his personality. That was her biggest fear.
"Just eat up Naruto. I think you will get some visitations today."
Huh? Does she know who ? He thinks back to the other past he already got through. No one comes to his mind. Maybe the future is altering, before he even gets the chance to do everything right.
That was what he wanted to do right? Do things better. Letting Sakura now that Sasuke would not be the right one for her. He still can be with Hinata. But his priority now will be Sakura. He will need to be as discreet as possible, before anyone catches up.
He didn't even know when Sakura and Sasuke started to date. What if they already are a thing? It could be possible that he's to late already, for the whole plan to succeed.
If everything works out.. will Sakura then be single? Or will she have a other boyfriend?
Everything comes out in time.. he can't afford to rush things out.
Hinata is on her way to the hospital, to visit Naruto. She made some Udon Noodles at home and decided to bring him some. He would be hungry after waking up. After all, she knows better how the hospital foods taste like.
Knock knock*
Naruto is startled. Who would be visiting him so early ? Does Sakura know who the person behind the door is? He takes a glance at Sakura just as she stiffens. That's strange..
"Uh come in."
The sight in front of him leaves him shocked. Why is she here? She wasn't visiting him in the other past, so why would she now? He can't let her see him so close with Sakura. He shifts a little away from Sakura, as to not wake any suspicions, but the ramen bowl and the chopsticks in her hand, that are pointing towards him, shows her for sure, what happened here.
But he know how Hinata is. She would never misinterpret things. Above all, she never was the jealous type of girl. All these years that they were married, and not even once did she question his love for her or got jealous.
Hinata has one wish right now and that's to be at home. Why did she even come? To see how closer the two of them got? To see how Sakura spoon feeds Naruto, while she has a pathetic bowl of Udon Noodles in her bag?? She is just a lost, pathetic case. Why did Sakura suggest her to visit him, if she would be here? Did she wanted to rub it under her nose? That she never would have him, like Sakura has him?
She clutches her bag to relive some of the anxiety she's feeling right now.
"Hey Hinata, thanks for coming. I think I should leave you two alone, Naruto ate enough anyway."
Naruto is happy that Sakura has enough sensitivity, to leave them alone. Otherwise it would be awkward for everyone. Especially when there is so much tension in the room. He needs to explain himself as soon as possible. He doesn't even remember this event happening in the past?
The click on the door brings his attention back to Hinata, who is awkwardly standing there with her bag tightly clutched.
"Uh hey Hinata, how are ya? I didn't saw you for a long time, thanks for coming."
He don't want to startle her with his explanations. Especially when he knows how she's feeling right now.
"Hi um Naruto, um I didn't want to disturb you two I'm really sorry for barging in like that. Um I.. um. So um I just wanted to visit you because I was really worried about you, but um I see that Sakura is taking good care of you. Um I hope you're not mad at me?? For disturbing the moment between you two. Um i.. um Naruto I didn't want to um.."
She didn't even notice her falling tears. The only thing she heard at the moment, was her fast beating heart. One heartbreak she could endure, but two would be to much for her. The sight of them really hurt her. Does she even have the right to be hurt? Who does she think she is? She isn't even somebody Naruto would consider as a potential lover. She needs to move on. This childish crush will break her even more, than the death of her brother. All of this needs to stop. She can't bear it anymore.
Naruto doesn't even know what to do. The sight in front of him does nothing, but hurt him. He don't want her to cry. Especially not for such a unnecessary reason.
"Hinata please stop crying."
Her hand came up to wipe the tears away. She don't want to cry especially not in front of him. Now he will realize that she's really just a weakling, and all of her remaining chances to be with him, are gone.
"Um I'm sorry again Naruto. I didn't want to intrude the two of you. Um i hope you can um.. forgive my lack of respect."
And before she has a chance to bolt out of the room, a Hand came down to her shoulder and gave it a tight squeeze.
If Naruto is lying in the bed in front of her.. who could it be?
"What are you doing here, Teme?" Naruto asks, with a slightly irritated tone.
Hinata turns around just to come face to face with someone she would never expect. What is Sasuke doing here? To make fun of her? To mock her for the pathetic hope she's clinging onto? She's really the biggest clown of whole Konoha.
The squeeze on her shoulder intensified, and before she could question the act, he silenced her with a harsh look. She blinked a few times, not able to look away.
Is this Sasuke's way of making fun of her? Why is he doing this.. especially in front of Naruto. Is he doing this to show Naruto how weak she is? He doesn't even need to do all of this, Naruto already knows what a weakling she is.
Crying over Naruto's happiness because she's such a envious, jealous friend. She should be happy for him. Happy that his onesided love is finally getting requited. But why can't she leave him alone? What would her brother think of her, if he would knew how selfish she's acting? He would be deeply ashamed and disappointed in her. She needs to get her things together, instead of crying over her silly crush.
From today on, she would do everything in her power to forget Naruto. Not only for her own sanity but for Naruto's happiness too. If she wants to be a good friend she needs to leave him alone.
Not only would she do that for Naruto or herself, but for her dear brother too, who would be greatly disappointed otherwise.She wants her brother to be proud of her. Even if he isn't among the livings anymore.
"Um so.. um I think I will go now. I caused enough problems, so uh.. i um think I leave you now. Um okay so uh get well soon you two." She muttered, before darting out, as fast as possible.
She wants to be left alone for today. Everything that happened now, exhausted her.
Before Naruto has a chance to stop her from leaving, she's out of the door. Great, now he will have to wait till he's released. Hopefully they could talk everything out.
"Leave her Alone dobe."
Huh? What the fuck. Who does Sasuke think he is?!?! Butting in his business?? Oh nah, he would teach that bastard a lesson!
"It's none of your business teme! Why the fuck would you intervene in things, that got nothing to do with you!!!!??" He yelled. Loud enough for the whole hospital to hear apparently, because now Sakura is standing inside his room, awkwardly.
"Hn, I think you did enough Dobe. Leave her alone, instead of leading her on."
What did Sakura miss? Why are they fighting and what is going on? She just left the room 15 minutes ago, to let Naruto and Hinata speak things out and this is what she came back to?
"Please stop fighting you two, you're still injured."
Sasuke needs to leave the room. He don't want to listen to Sakura's shit. He've had enough of her talking in the past..
Before any of them has the chance to stop him, he exits the room.
Naruto is at lost for words. He can't believe what just happened. This didn't happen in the other timeline. He will need to speak to Hinata later, before the timeline changes. In any case he will discuss what happened later with Sasuke. That was totally unusual for him. Sasuke is not somebody that sticks his nose in things, that are none of his business.
"..rself, Naruto. I will leave you alone now. You will be released later. I will be there for your release, so relax for now."
He didn't even listen to half of the things she said. The only mission he has here, is to ensure that Sakura and Sasuke never go out. The rest will need to stay the same. He can't wait till he's realeased.. after all he has a lot to speak about, with Hinata.
Meanwhile..
Everything goes according to the plan. In the end everything will have to go, like he planned it to, otherwise he will go berserk. There will be no other way. Either it goes as planned, or somebody will have to die..
After the whole incident today, Hinata decided to stay at home. The calm environment would be good for her. Maybe at night she would visit his grave. Not one day goes by were she not visited him in the cemetery. Today will be no exception.
She nearly decided to stay at home, just because she had a confrontation with Naruto? Would she refrain from visiting her brothers grave because of a boy? A boy she has zero relations with?
When someone means so much to you, that it turns into a toxic love, then it would be better to leave them alone. If she's in the position to die for someone, than that should be a cry for help. A cry for help, that she needs to take serious.
What if she hadn't tried to protect Naruto that day? Would Neji be alive? Or would he have protected Naruto as a friend regardless? She don't want to think about it.. but maybe if she wasn't so selfish that day, he would still be alive. They would help to build up the village again, together as a team.
She remembers as one day Kurenai asked her, how she could forgive Neji, after he tried to kill her in the Chunin exams. Hinata explained to her, how the hate consumed him. She understood him even as nobody else understood him. She tried to help him and be there for him. But it took some time to gain his trust, love and respect.
If you feed a child hate, that child will face everyone with hate too. Because that's what he learned to do. All of the things that happened in the past with her brother, wasn't his fault. He was a naive child, that got taught the wrong things in life. Hate, jealousy, and envy.. she was happy that he found the right way, later on.
But now he's gone again.. forever. They would never see each other again, in this lifetime. Maybe after her death. But would she even be at the same place as him? Does she even deserve to be near him, after being the reason for his death?
She wants to see him so bad, it hurts. She would do everything in her power to see him again. Even if she has to wait for her death. She would wait a lifetime, if it means that she has a chance to see him.. even if it would be for a second.
With these thoughts plaguing her mind, she slowly fell asleep.
Naruto is more that happy to be released. He hates the hospital.. the only good thing that came from hospitals, were his 2 children. And even now they're not here to make the situation easier for him. Speaking of children.. he needs to speak with Hinata. It's urgent after all.
Once he explained everything, she will be understanding, as always, they would be happy together and he can carry his plan out. You know - the plan to never let Sakura and Sasuke became a couple.
Sakura is babbling about his condition, and the house visits she will need to do. If he's honest, he can't wait till he is home again. He really deserves some rest especially, if the war was only 3 weeks ago. He remembers how exhausted he was in the other timeline.
"So you're free to go now. I will see you every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. 2 weeks later the visitations will be shortened. That would mean, that I will only see you on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. This whole process should be completed in 1-2 months. That means that my visitations will also end in 1-2 months - that will depend on your improvement."
These talks are so boring. That's also one of the reason why Naruto hates hospitals. They're only talking nonsense here.
"Yeah alright, thanks for telling me. I didn't even understand half of it, ya know? Will see ya soon, alright?"
Sakura smiled brightly. Yeah he didn't change, not one bit. Good for him. After the fear of losing him, she learned a lot. She would never ever take him as granted. Especially after all the things he did for her.
"Yeah see you soon," she replied, going back, to work on some files.
Hinata cant believe that she overslept. Especially after she came to the decision, to visit Neji. Is he so unimportant to her, that she sleeps right after thinking about him?
She needs to be fast, if she wants to be on time. It's dark outside, so she's a 100% sure that nobody will be outside. Maybe that was the reason why she decided to only wear some thin clothes? Or was it because of the fact, that she like to freeze? Neji is freezing in his grave all the time, so why shouldn't she? She's the reason for his death, so she needs to suffer too.
After packing a book, to read for him, she's on her way to his grave. She's nearly running.
The running will be her undoing, because before she knew what was happening, she collided with someone's hard body. To have the Byagukan apparently, means shit. Especially when you bump onto someone. She needs to react fast.. otherwise the person she bumped into, will recognize her.
"Um, I'm sorry for the inconvenience sir. I didn't saw you on the road, please excuse my mistake. I hope it didn't troubled you sir." But before she has a chance to flee, a hand is hardly clutching at hers.
She takes a glance at the person she bumped into, and is shocked. What is he doing here? Especially so late at night?
She's not ready to face him yet. Not after the incident that happened today. God, why does it always happen to her ?!?
"Um I'm sorry Naruto, but I need to go."
But his hand didn't let go of hers. Why does he need to make it so difficult for her? Does he takes pleasure, in seeing her like this? Why has everyone the chance to heal, besides her? Is she so undeserving? Does God even forbad her that?
Naruto won't let her go. She needs to listen to him. After all, he has a lot to say. And she will listen to everything. She has no other choice, but to listen. He will make her listen.