Watching Her Sleep

Chapter 2: Shizuru

Natsuki is already asleep. Ara, but it's been a busy day, and she has tired herself out. She's actually wearing a proper set of pajamas tonight, but that's to be expected. Winter has come, and it's cold outside. One would want to feel warm while sleeping.

It isn't often that Natsuki falls asleep before I do. She'll smile at me and tell me that it's because I already have a sleepy personality. Troublesome creature. I shall have to tease her a bit for her remarks, though they're not entirely inaccurate. She knows me well, this beautiful creature who has deigned to share her life with me.

Well, perhaps I'll be merciful in my teasing, though. After all, she did so much today, and I do enjoy watching her sleep, so that can be my compensation for her on the mark observations.

She's different from the old days. There was a time, not so long ago, that Natsuki sharing a bed with me would have been unthinkable. But even more than that, in the old days, she was always so serious, rarely smiling, and with that penetrating glare that would actually terrify most who were on the receiving end. But now? Now, she smiles. She laughs. She's much more relaxed. She tells me that it's because of me, and that makes me happy, although I doubt that I can take all the credit. I cracked the shell she put herself in, but it was gaining friends like Mai, and Mikoto, and even that troublesome creature, Nao, that finally removed the shell completely.

But of course, she did decide to return my love, and that makes me happy, too. Selfish creature that I am. Though she balks whenever I describe myself that way.

But watching her sleep is a rare treat. I don't know why it is, but Natsuki never seems to suffer from any nightmares. Perhaps it's because she's so used to dealing with dangerous things when she's awake that sleep is the one place where her mind decided she wasn't allowed to handle anything terrifying. Or maybe she had nightmares enough for a lifetime when she spent a year of her early childhood in a coma, after her Mother's death. Either way, she never seems troubled in her sleep. And beautiful as she is when she laughs and smiles, there's this look of utter peace and serenity on her face when she sleeps.

I've been privy to that look before, mind you. Before our relationship began, during the days when she was furiously hunting for the truth, and fighting Orphans in secret, I would see her asleep at my desk in the Student Council Room. It made me happy. I would often just stare at her, in that peaceful state. Sometimes I would even allow myself to run my fingers through that silken hair of hers. Shameless being that I was, back in those days, daring to do such things without her permission.

But now that I have her permission, I am simply content to watch her sleep. I can run my fingers through her hair when we make love. I can run my hands along her body in moments of intimacy. But to do anything that might disturb the bliss of her sleeping face would be rude.

Of course, I have no issue with nuzzling up alongside her while she sleeps. There's a soft warmth there, and it's more rewarding than I'd even imagined it could be.

Long have I dreamed of being by her side. And now, to have that dream made a reality? Oh, Shizuru, you truly have been blessed, have you not? See here, the soft form of this beautiful woman beside you. And most beautiful of all is not her face, but her soul. The soul that could not only forgive, but upon forgiving, freely and openly offer her love.

I slide under the heavy winter blankets next to her, and put my hand on her shoulder, and bury my face in that luxurious hair, her scent filling my nostrils. I slide my hand to the front, under her left breast, where, if I hold very still, I can feel the beating of her heart.

That steady drumbeat of hers is a lullaby to me. It travels up my arm and into my head, where it beckons me to join her in the sweet slumber that comes to those who are in love and who have the joy and privilege of sleeping beside the person they love.

Will you share your untroubled dreams with me, dearest Natsuki? Show me what it is to sleep with such an untroubled mind. I will share my love with she who loves me. Let me join you, then, in your dreams.

I hear a soft chuckle, and I hear your sleepy voice, "Mmmmm. Warm hands. G'night, Shizuru."

I smile, "Sleep well, Natsuki."