Okay let's try this one last time.
So there I was getting home from my job, ever since I turned 18 I was an assistant for a much older maintenance supervisor, who by the way just so happened to be my uncle. Ever since then life has been one headache after another, but I won't bore you with the details, the details that consist of me bitching about how people can fuck up their Air Conditioners or sinks so bad, you're here to wonder how I got isekai'd into a video game.
It doesn't start with me falling from the sky into a pile of cowshit, waking up in a field, or opening up a random link some guy on Reddit sent me. It started as soon as I opened the door to my apartment. I walked in expecting my dog, Ralph, to greet me like usual and then going into my room to see my brother on *my* gaming computer, but instead everything kind of... distorted? Shifted?
Yeah, I didn't wake up in a field, I walked into a field. Indoors.
"What the..." Musing to myself and looking around, I swear I didn't smoke today so... why am I seeing trees and grass everywhere?
You'd think I'd panic or something, but strangely I'm calm, if not a bit irked that I didn't get to shower and rest after a long day of labor. This means I'm not exactly the most energetic at the moment.
Alright let's look at my surroundings... trees, trees, trees, oh did I mention trees? Yeah cuz there's plenty of trees to be found. Oh hey there's a town nearby. A town that is... smoking...
...Hold on a minute!
I sprinted as fast as I could over to the town, as soon as I stopped I had my hands on my knees, panting heavily as I looked up. Yup, the screams of agony and fear of the populace, the red wearing bandits roaming around and slaughtering innocents.
Then there's the sights that definitely confirmed it for me. A blue haired swordsman, a blond petite girl with a staff, a horseback man, and a robed male. At least I know Robin is male in this world.
"God fucking damn it I'm in Awakening!" Of course I got fucking sent to Southtown first, like, I dunno, literally every fucking self insert! Why can't there be variety, like I dunno, starting off in the Capital!
...Actually on second thought if I were to poof into thin air in the middle of a Ylissian town or Emmeryn's chambers, that would raise more questions than I'd like to answer.
Fuck it, I'm about to either die or join the Shepherds and what choice do I have anyway? Besides... my shout earlier attracted the attention of a stray bandit, who looked a little too pleased at the prospect of another victim, and with clothes like mine, he probably thinks I'm worth a pretty penny, belongings wise. Unlucky for him I'm not exactly unarmed.
Out of my back pockets are tools, tools that I used at my job for various things. One of them happens to be a mini hammer/knife/bottle opener hybrid. Either way I pulled it out of my back pocket and narrowly dodged his overhead swing, retaliated with a bash to the skull, which caved it in essentially ending his life, not without some blood spurts of course.
They say in every self insert that their first kill isn't easy, but I had no time to think about that stuff. I needed a real weapon and this tiny hammer would only carry me so far, so picking up the fallen grunt's weapon, a sword apparently, I ran into the fray. From a distance I saw the same man with flowing blue locks slicing some poor fools, making it look easy even. Robin was shooting fire, of course he would know magic. Lissa stood not too far from them occasionally holding her glowing staff up, which I assume is meant to heal them when they suffered some grazes. Frederick on the other hand was off handling some farther away threats. Unlike the game, there wasn't like 3 or 4 bandits, there must've been dozens at the very least.
Before I could reach the only people who could protect me in this world, I felt some dull pain in my back and fell on one knee, grunting out of agony. What the hell?!
Turning around, I noticed a small handaxe protruding out of my back, not the spine thankfully but definitely still all the more painful. Also within my point of view was another bandit, this guy smirked and walked over to me.
"Well well, would ya look at that." The bastard starts "Mister fancy pants here wants to play hero with the others. You got some guts--" the ugly bearded cunt stopped in his tracks as soon as his eyes landed on my weapon, his repugnant face scowling in rage. "That sword... that was Rodney's sword!" He doesn't hesitate to pull out his iron axe, knowing I just took my weapon from his dead friend. "Die you bastard!!!" He cries out as he leaped to chop my head off.
Shutting my eyes in anticipation of the inevitable, it never came. Instead an agonized grunt hit my ears, opening my eyes I noticed a look of horror on his face along with a sword sticking out his front. That sword looked familiar... hold on!
The man pulls out the sword and down the bandit goes, no fanfare or anything, he just fell flat with blood spilling out his wound. To my sort of surprise, I was rescued by none other than our future Exalt. I felt some more pain from my back as I felt the axe pulled out and then it nullified. The pain and wound going away like nothing happened as a cutesy giggled was heard from behind me.
The man extends his arm to me "Are you okay?" He simply asks me. Smiling at him I took his hand and stood up, responding with "Yeah, I am. Thank you for that."
"Ahem! And what about me?" I glanced to the pouting blond princess behind me, clutching her little staff. The sight was cute enough to make me chuckle "Yes yes, you have my thanks too." This satisfied her enough I believe, if that grin was of any indication.
Some more screaming grabbed our attention, right right there's no time to stand around. "We'll talk more later, but for now you're under our protection." The blue swordfighter declares as we charged into battle, he sliced through bandits like nothing, even as I was stopping to pick off one or two, Lissa healing me more times than I'd like to admit, and eventually I lost track of the two, even Frederick was out of my sights. However I did bump into the robed man. Let's be real, I already know his name, but besides that it seemed he was standing off against the big bad here, Garrick.
Robin looked a bit winded, and so did the bandit leader. The white haired Mage held a hand out as I stood behind him. "Stay back." He says to me, and I would heed his words, he's smarter than I am and knows this guy wasn't a joke. I nod, yet stand my ground in case anything happened.
Garrick scoffs, despite his condition. "Bah, one more insect isn't gonna stop me!" The clearly battle hardened man shouts out, bringing his axe out and running at Robin, after a swing that he barely dodges, the tactician retaliated with his sword swipes. This guy shouldn't be that hard right?? He was easy in the game!
...But this isn't a game anymore.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a stray fire time. Robin must've dropped it after dodging.
Something compelled me to pick it up. Nobody was around to stop me, and what did I have to lose? I swiped the book up and immediately flipped through the pages. Words in a language I couldn't comprehend glowed as I skimmed through the paper. A warmth I couldn't describe rippled through my body, and almost like instinct, one phrase came to mind.
"Do it."
While Garrick was distracted by Robin's struggle against him, I threw two fingers in that asshole's direction. Once I did that, small flickers of light came to life, along with a large fireball the size of a basketball forming near my fingertips.
Without thinking, I released it in my mind's eye, the ball of flame hurling to Garrick and striking through him, luckily it disintegrated before it can touch Robin. I couldn't see at this angle, but I imagined his face was one of agony once he realized the cauterized cavity in his chest as he fell on his knees, tipping over without so much as a groan.
Robin looked over to me with a strange look, and I heard a gasp behind me. I turned to see a shocked Lissa, Chrom and Frederick.
Look I know someone like me casting magic is a surprise even to me but all I can respond with is "...What?"
Well that's that. Have I ever told you how much writing is a pain for me? When I feel motivated to jot down a scene, I have zero time, but when I do have time, I have zero motivation. Not that I hate doing fanfiction but still. Anyway, I hope this chapter was worth it cuz I don't feel personally satisfied.Anyways remember to review or follow or whatever because that seriously helps.