The Humo Robinson drifted listlessly across the waves. It was a large ship, still bearing the Kemurchant Enterprises logo on its mast. It had every facility a bounty hunting businessman could ask for: gym, armory, spa, the works. Quarters were large, each designed to carry up to twenty-five people, but Schwarz and the couple got rooms to themselves for the time being, in addition to Shaska's private quarters at the back of the ship. Up front was a figurehead of Shaska, an octopus mermaid smoking a cigar.

The entire "crew" was gathered around the steering wheel.

"Are we really sure it's a good idea to sail the Grand Line with a crew this tiny?" asked Schwarz, steering. "We look like we lost a Davy Back Fight."

"What's a Davy Back Fight?" asked Roxanne.

"It's a game pirates play," responded Shaska. "And even though I have a bounty on my head, we're still not pirates!"

"Well, how are you going to do your bounty hunting work now?" asked Andy. "You don't have your business and you'll surely be arrested on the spot if you try to bring in a capture."

"When you have enough money, you're above the law," said Shaska, puffing on her cigar. "However, there's no chance in hell I'm digging into my coffers to pay back what I supposedly 'owe' the government. So, we just gotta catch a bunch of high ranking criminals and bring them in all at once."

"That sounds infinitely more difficult than just paying them the two billion," said Schwarz.

"But also more fun. I thought you had an eye for adventure, uh… what's your name again?"

"Johann Schwarz. And the adventure is nice but I'm really looking for the man who killed my-"

"Schwartz, got it. Sure, we can catch that guy, but I'm talking about the real heavy hitters: Big Mom, Kaido, Whitebeard… getting even one of them would make my problems go away instantly."

Everyone else's jaws dropped.

"Are you seriously talking about taking on one of the Three Emperors? One of the toughest pirates in the world??" asked Roxanne in disbelief.

"We'll work our way up to it," said Shaska.

"By the way, what did you do with that Varney guy?"

"We have a morgue on the ship to keep our bounties fresh in case we kill them. Ninja guy here's gonna turn him in and collect next time we encounter a certified station. According to the chart the turncoat navigator left behind, the closest one is on Windy Island, home of the Gokashi Kingdom.

"And thankfully, we have an Eternal Pose for almost every island in this half of the Grand Line."

"What's an Eternal Pose?" Andy whispered to Roxanne.

"A permanent log pose locked to a certain island's magnetic field. Navigation in the Grand Line is extremely difficult."

Several days later, Schwarz was at the wheel again, this time with Andy alone.

"Hey, mind if I take the wheel?"

"I'm not sure it's the best idea, but go ahead. I'll take over again if something serious happens."

Andy took the wheel.

"Does this guy have any personality outside of cooking and his wife? Part of me really has to know," Schwarz thought.

"So, how long have you and old Roxie been married?" he asked.

"Only I'm allowed to call her that," Andy responded, completely dead serious. "We've known each other since we were kids, got married three years ago."

"Neat," said Schwarz.

"You asked," said Andy.

"I'm just trying to make small talk. I'm not very experienced at dealing with commoners. Play any instruments? I'm a guitar player myself," he asked.

"Nope."

There was an awkward silence.

"Look, I see what you're trying to do, Schwarz."

"You do?"

"Yeah, you don't have to make awkward conversation for us to be friends, it'll happen naturally now that we're on the same crew," Andy said with a smile.

Schwarz was shocked and slightly touched by his candor.

"That's how it goes in all those adventure stories I used to read as a kid, anyway."

Schwarz paused, then said, "hey, go get one of the mattresses from the dormitories, I wanna show you something."

Andy gave Schwarz the wheel back and obliged.

After Andy brought the mattress back and placed it down on the deck, Schwarz went down, then spawned a hole and placed it over Andy's head, then spawned another one right under Andy's feet, causing him to start falling infinitely.

"WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" he cried as he fell.

After he'd decided Andy had had enough, Schwarz tilted the top hole and aimed it at the mattress, sending Andy crashing into it. Andy got up and was overjoyed. "Nahaha! That Hole Hole thing is super cool! Let's do that again!"

Schwarz and Andy kept playing while Shaska and Roxanne watched.

"Hehe, men, am I right?" said Roxanne.

"Yeah…" said Shaska, with a slightly dejected look on her face.

The crew sailed for a week and a half in total before reaching the port at Salt Town.

"Alright, men and…" Shaska began before blanking out.

"Roxanne."

"Don't stand so close to me."

Roxanne looked confused and backed up.

"Here's the plan, crew: I'm gonna guard the ship. Pretty boy here is gonna bring the body to the Marines. You two, go see if there's any vacant buildings you can set up shop in," Shaska said.

"Use the money you get from the bounty to scout around for talent. We're good on supplies after our last island, but we really need some extra muscle, capisce?"

"Capisce," Schwarz replied.

The crew went their separate ways. Shaska brought out a chair to relax on the deck with the newspaper.

She sighed with a bored look on her face.

"We really need a musician."

Schwarz walked through the streets of Salt Town carrying Varney's dead body. Despite Varney's large frame, Schwarz moved him around effortlessly.

This area of the town was fairly dilapidated, looking like it hadn't seen serious maintenance in years. Numerous buildings were boarded up, and there were wild dogs roaming the street. Beggars and graffiti were a common sight.

The abject poverty made Schwarz think back to his own childhood, which was the exact opposite of the situation in Salt Town. Schwarz had grown up privileged in the South Blue's prestigious Johann family.

"Come play with me, big brother!" called out a little voice.

Schwarz paused for a second, as every time that thought of his little sister, Noire, came up, it was soon followed by:

"Big bro… it hurts…" said Noire, covered in blood.

Schwarz shook his head. It had been six years since that day, and he'd still yet to find hide nor hair of the man who murdered his family; all he had was a newspaper clipping of the event, a massive scar on his chest, and a wanted poster for the assassin, Sirhan Princip (worth 98 million berries), a gruff looking man with the kanji for "liberation" tattooed on his face.

Schwarz was interrupted from his reverie by a man in a plaid shirt and baggy cargo shorts holding a knife in his face.

"Hm? What do you want, peasant?"

"Gimme all your money and that bounty, man. Nobody's gotta get hurt. You're on the Bulls turf now, man. Gotta pay the toll."

"Nah," Schwarz said.

With his free hand, Schwarz drew his sword and cut the gangster down before he could even react.

"Guess that makes sense," said Schwarz, resheathing his sword. "Poor area, lots of crime. I hope Andy and Roxanne are okay."

Andy and Roxanne were not okay, as they were in a similar situation, but with a man wielding a flintlock.

"You're on Sharks turf now, gotta pay the toll, man."

"Well," said Andy, holding up his hands, "was not expecting to get mugged on our first stop on our grand adventure."

"Is this place really good for business? We're getting mugged in broad daylight," Roxanne thought, also holding up her hands.

"I said, gimme your money," the mugger growled. "New arrivals gotta pay the toll. Never know when a Bull might get you."

"Oh, there are worse things in this town than Sharks and Bulls, darling," said a mysterious, effeminate but still clearly male voice.

The mugger was kicked through a nearby wall by a very tall, bald, dark-skinned man in rectangular glasses and a pink suit. "Oh come my way!" he shouted.

Andy and Roxanne stood there in shock. "Are you darlings okay?" said the effeminate man. "The crime in this area is terrible. Tch, you'd think an island with a Marine base would be safer…"

"We're fine, thanks to you. Who are you exactly?" asked Roxanne.

"Charles Lulupo, wandering mercenary, at your service!"

"And a queer, right?"

"Andy!"

"Indeed, my good man!" said Lulupo, taking off his glasses and suddenly growing a long mane of hair, making him convincingly look like a woman. "I've turned to selling my fists and my ssssssshapely legs for berries so I can finally find someone to take me to the Kamabakka Queendom, where those with the heart of a maiden gather."

"Oh, I've heard of that place," said Roxanne.

"It's like that mythical Amazon place, but for queers. Both places sound kinda interesting to visit actually."

"And the hair thing?" Andy asked.

"That's the power of my Hair Hair Devil Fruit, my dear!"

He formed his hair into the shape of a hand and caressed Andy's chin with it.

"I can grow and manipulate my body hair at will."

"Devil Fruits are so cool," Andy said to Roxanne with stars in his eyes.

"So, you're hired muscle, then, big guy? Perfect! Our captain wanted us to find more crew members! I'm Andy, this is my wife, Roxanne," he said, beaming.

"Hold on, 'captain'? Is this lovely couple actually a couple of pirates?" Lulupo asked. "I don't work with pirates. They're so very quick to stab you in the back."

"Well… our boss is wanted for tax evasion, but she's a nice person once you get to know her," said Roxanne.

Roxanne brought a cocktail to Shaska.

"Oh. A drink." she said sarcastically, puffing on her cigar. "Thanks, I guess."

"Is that the only time she complimented me in as long as we've known her?" Roxanne thought.

"Oh, yes. I read the papers, I take it you must be working for Shaska, the Squeeze, correct?" said Lulupo. "That made quite a splash in the bounty hunting world. She's a big name.

"Hmmm… she isn't a pirate, per se, but she is a rather cutthroat businesswoman," he continued. "And seventy five million berries if things go south," he thought, with a smirk.

"Hmmm, I'll join you two for the time being. If nothing else, you darlings need some protection!" he exclaimed, retracting his hair and putting his glasses back on.

Schwarz left the Marine base counting his money. "It really sucks that they take thirty percent off for dead bounties."

He started scratching his head. "It was really optimistic of Shaska to let those two go wandering around a crime-ridden city like this without an escort. I guess it's been a while since she was last here. I should go look for them. Or. Better idea."

He pulled out a baby transponder snail and dialed up Roxanne.

"What's up?"

"Just checking on you two. This place is a craphole."

"It's okay!" Andy chimed in. "We met this really strong guy and he agreed to help us!"

"Charmed. I'm Charles Lulupo, darling."

"Alright then," said Schwarz. "You three meet me back at the ship and we'll get Shaska's next orders."

"Got it," said Roxanne, hanging up.

Schwarz put the transponder snail and the money in his pocket and headed off back toward the docks. He walked past only one dark alley before he was ambushed by yet another gangster, this one wearing the opposite colors to the last one.

"Gotta pay the toll when you're on Sharks turf, man," said the knife wielding mugger.

"Nuh-uh," Schwarz casually replied, grabbing the mugger's wrist and punching him in the gut. The gangster dropped his knife and doubled over in pain. Schwarz picked up the knife and held it at the gangster's throat. "Was mugging someone carrying a sword really your best idea?"

"Stop!!" called a voice from the opposite dark alley.

A young, brown-skinned man in a doctor's coat and cargo shorts ran toward Schwarz and his would be assailant. He was fairly short, standing only about 5'7".

"Tocino!" said the doctor, "what have I told you about picking fights with bounty hunters??"

"That I shouldn't do i-"

"That you shouldn't do it!!"

The doctor slapped the gangster in the face. "I can't fix a knife in the throat!"

"A doctor, huh?" asked Schwarz. "Hey, you looking for a crew to join? Ours could really use a doctor."

"Are you nuts??" the doctor responded. "If I left, the body count in this gang war would be doubled! I'm not going anywhere until my brothers stop fighting!"

"Gang war? Brothers?"

Lulupo continued walking with Andy and Roxanne. "Indeed, there's a nasty turf war going on right now between the Sharks and the Bulls. They're led by two brothers named Cerdo and Chancho, respectively. I've had my ear to the ground here for a while, as the log pose takes three months to reset on this island."

"Log pose reset?" asked Andy.

"Darling, that's not the important part. Their older brother, Jamón, died not too long ago, leaving Chancho and Cerdo to split into two rival gangs and battle it out over the territory. Salt Town's extreme poverty doesn't lead to much else for young men except joining a gang, the Marines, or a pirate crew. It's quite sad, really.

"And their poor little brother, Puerco, is a doctor who refuses to join a side and helps the gangsters fight another day. They say he's quite effective, though. Quite the miracle worker, or so I've heard."

"So your name is Puerco and you refuse to take either of your brothers' sides?" asked Schwarz.

"What, are you deaf? That's what I just got done telling you," said Puerco. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a patient with a bruised gut to attend to."

"Wait!" exclaimed Schwarz, digging through his pocket. He pulled out part of the wad of cash he got from the Marines. "Would you do it for ten million berries?"

Puerco's eyebrow raised at that, causing him to manually lower it with his finger.

"Sorry. I'm not going anywhere until somebody wins," Puerco said, shaking his head. "I was with Jamón after he was mortally wounded by the Marines, he told me to do everything I could to keep them together. But I couldn't. Now all I can do is keep the body count low.

"C'mon, Tocino, let's get you an ice pack."

Puerco helped the gangster leave as he continued to clutch his stomach in pain.

"Anyone else think these guys sound really tasty?" Andy wondered aloud as they met back up with Schwarz in front of the ship.

"I'm not sure I want to know what you mean by that," said Schwarz.

The four boarded the ship and met up with Shaska.

"Good day. Miss Shaska, I presume?" said Lulupo. "It's an honor to meet such a fa-"

"Cut the crap, cue ball. You here to join my crew? What do you got?"

Lulupo was taken aback by Shaska's brashness, but collected himself quickly.

"My name is Charles Lulupo, I'm a master of Oh Come My Way Kenpo, darling. However, my rates aren't cheap, I-"

Schwarz cut him off by tossing his big wad of cash onto the deck. Shaska's eyes turned to berry signs and she slowly started reaching for it with one of her tentacles.

"Will twenty five million cover it?" Schwarz asked.

"Indeed it will, darling," said Lulupo, eyes also becoming berry signs before he blinked.

"So, we done here?" asked Shaska, eyes turning back to normal. "We got our new muscle, let's head for Fishman Island."

"Actually, Miss Shaska," said Roxanne, "we still haven't found a location for our business. I don't think Salt Town is a good idea though. We should try the big ci-"

Shaska raised a tentacle to Roxanne's lips.

"Shhh… every little thing she does is magic."

Roxanne had a confused and offended look on her face; she was starting to see why Shaska's old crew just up and left her.

Schwarz interjected as well. "Actually, there's someone else we could hire in Salt Town. A doctor."

"Oh?"

"But he's involved in a gang war, says he won't leave until it's over."

"Interesting… you know what they need then, right?"

Before Shaska could continue, out of nowhere, blindingly fast, came a large ship. It barrelled up the port, crushing the ships in its way and leaving a deep gash on the Humo Robinson.

Shaska looked over the side at the scratch. "Hm. Hm. They are gonna pay for that."

The ship crashed its way through the town, knocking over buildings, before eventually stopping about half a mile inland. The ship's walls unfolded to reveal what was actually a wrestling ring surrounded by stands full of screaming fans.

"Lucha! Lucha! Lucha! Lucha!" the audience cheered.

"Interesting…" said Shaska, getting a good look at their flag through a telescope. "Skull with two crossed dumbbells behind it: the mark of the Squared Circle Pirates. Captained by Gil Fernandez, worth one hundred sixteen million."

She looked down at her crew's confused faces.

"Bounty hunters gotta know this stuff," she said, puffing her cigar.

"New plan. Happy couple. Go into the city and get a deep fryer and as many mozzarella sticks as you can carry."

She turned to Schwarz and Lulupo.

"Us three. We're gonna spend some time in the ring and get us another bounty," she said, cracking her knuckles.

TO BE CONTINUED