Xander Harris was not a happy camper.

The night hadn't gone exactly, or in reality, in any way the direction he'd expected. It was a fool proof plan. But we all know what God says about plans.

How was he supposed to know Willow was going to fall down a moral gloryhole? 'What about poor Leo? He could dieeeeeee.'

Not that Cordy had made it any better. They'd spent an entire summer defending Sunnydale from ghouls, and ghosts, and vampires. And in all that time there hadn't been nearly as much ruckus as this.

So even when Willow decided to leave, not willing to give the whole thing a go again, that left Xander with an unhappy girlfriend. Who was more then willing to go into great length on why Willow was the worst but also why this was actually his fault.

So in conclusion; Xander was not a happy camper.

"They aren't even really people!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, I know. For the 10th time I completely agree with you."

"And its not like we were even going to hurt them! Even though Prue is sort of a bitch. All Willow had to do was sneak into the living room with us and wait. Wait!"

"Cor, I know. I agree." He tried again.

"But noooo, the Sims have hopes & dreams! They have feeeelings. As if."

"Cordy, please. My parents are gone for like….another hour, tops. If we aren't going into the show again, we could at least make out a little."
"The nerve of her," she refused to relent. "I deserve cool powers too," Queen C said sarcastically, "except she doesn't want to earn them. She just expects us to do all the work while she reaps the benefits."

"Getting the idea this has nothing to do with the argument that just happened."

"You think?!" She glared, before her gaze softened on his kick puppy look.

"We busted our asses to protect this town from monsters…for months. And sure, even with the four of us we got like three vamps out of every ten but we aren't slayers!"

"While the actual slayer fucked off to LA because she was feeling emo over her dead monster boyfriend. Newflash, he tried to eat us! So while we were defending a hellmouth, she was waiting tables and feeling sorry for herself!"

"Cor…"

"Don't start, Harris! You know I'm right. You and I came up with the walkies to keep in touch, loaded up on holy water squirt guns & stakes. Even Oz was useful with a crossbow as an assist. But what did Willow do?!"

"She acted as a distraction, most of the time." He ventured. Though in all honesty he didn't feel like disagreeing with anything she was saying.

"All of the time! And how useful was her acting like a weak little schoolgirl to lure in the vampires?"

"And that's not even what really pisses me off. Because as soon as princess Buffy gets back from her summer of flipping burgers, Willow attaches herself to that blond ditz's ass like a pimple. And do we get so much as a 'good job team?'"

"Cordeila, I know. I get it."

"No, we don't get a pat on the back. Not from little Ms. Stabs people with pieces of wood, and not from Giles. Who spent the entire time either searching for her in LA, or day drinking like a loser."

"Xander, we could have died. People actually did die. For every three we got, seven were out there eating people. And does Buffy care? No, she turns around and reads US the riot act because we didn't give her enough sympathy for how tough things were on her. Are you fucking kidding me?"

Irritated now, remembering Buffy's mocking off him when he pointed out how desperate and sad Joyce had been, "I know! Damn it, don't you think I know?"

"That's why I saw this magical VCR as a Godsend. We have to put up with Buffy's shit because she's the slayer, but if we had powers, we could defend ourselves. We could take the fight to the vamps and demons, we'd be…I don't know…"

"The heroes?" The cheerleader said plainly.

"That's not…I don't, I don't want credit. Sure, Giles giving us a 'good job' would have been great. And deserving. But it's not about that. You're right, people died. And I could have saved them. I should have saved them."

She enveloped him within her arms.

"Xander, that's not on you. Like I said, we might have only got three every so often, but you'd get two of those three every time. Without superpowers or a bullshit destiny you can whine about or lord over everyone's head."

People didn't get it, or really Willow didn't get why he would date Queen C. The girl who could and often did flay you alive with her acid wit.
But no one took his side. Not really. Buffy could leave town for months and everyone would welcome her back with tears & open arms. She let her evil ex-boyfriend spent months eating people, and it was 'poor Buffy this' and 'how hard it most be for Buffy that.'

And if he pointed this out? Oh, it was because he was 'jealous', if he brought up that Ms. Calendar was murdered then 'he' was the villain.
Not Buffy, who could have stopped it at any time. Not deadboy, because he was the tragic figure in Buffy's star crossed love story.

"You know I love you?" He whispered into her hair.

"I love you too, you big goof."

Cordeila arched her eyebrow as she looked up at him, "you said something about wanting to make out before?" Grinning as she leaned up towards him.

"Best girlfriend ever."

"What if we went earlier?" She mumbled while kissing along her boyfriend's jawline.

"Hmm…" Xander said, distracted. Her body was absolutely sinful, Queen C's ample breasts pressed against his chest, his hands resting around her waist as she nibbled his neck.

"Focus, dweeb." She said with a smile, not at all displeased at how lost in their make-out session she could make him.

"Busy here, Cor. The parental units will be back in like 10 minutes." He gave her ass a quick slap for emphasis.

She stopped her necking to give him a playful glare," none of that buster, or they might walk in on something that'd scar everyone involved."

"I meant, what if we went in the show earlier?"

"What for? There's only two seasons out so far, and only one episode where they swap powers."

"Well no, but there was one thing that Willow got right. The bad guys spent like 90% of the show trying to steal their powers, right?" She pushed him back for a little breathing room. Unaware which of them, or if it was both, who gave out that unhappy grunt at being parted.

"Yeah. But we're not warlocks, or whatever." He said, not seeing her point.

"But do we need to be? I mean, don't the boy witches spend most of the time trying to kill them with like…a magical power sucking shank?"

"Athame. A power stealing athame."

"Sure, but that's still just a power sucking knife. Couldn't we pop into one of the early episodes and just take it and stab them ourselves?"

"Well, yeah, I guess. I think the first episode has a crime scene where the warlock, not boy witch, they are called warlocks, kills a witch and leaves his athame. He's Piper's boyfriend, and tries to use a new one on her not long after she gets her powers." He explained.

Cordeila quirked her eyebrow at him again, "And here I thought you just watched this show to see Alyssa Milano's tits bounce as they fight 'warlocks.'"

"That too. But I like the story." He said while rolling the idea around in his mind.

"Isn't that kind of, I dunno, violent? I mean, sure, they aren't real. And I know they respawn like video game characters once the episode's over. But stabbing them to death to get their powers? I guess I'd feel like the badguy."

"Yeah, okay, I can see that. But waiting in their living room and hoping we get the cool powers and not like 'death touch' or 'mental pictures touch?'" She said with a shrug.

"Like you said, they're Sims. Who come back to life as soon as you pop in the tape. We could copy all three of their powers for you, then I could do it. And bam, we both have the Power of Three & spell casting."

"And Willow?"

"Screw her. She wants to play stupid games, she can win stupid prizes. Or better yet, no prizes at all."

"And if you feel hinky once we get in there, I dunno, we could wait till the girls are casting the spell on the warlock guy and shank him instead while he's distracted." She wasn't a psycho, no matter what she'd said before…she didn't actually wall up Sims to watch them death.

"Yeah, okay. If its too freaksome to stab the girls, then we'll take turns stabbing Piper's warlock ex. He had some cool powers. Changing his voice to copy others, making wind tunnels, sure the finger fires were dumb but I guess we could light peoples cigarette's as party favors."

"Cool!" She heard the front door of Xander's house open, "we'll pick this up tomorrow after school. Willow can just bite me."