A/N: Oops, I did it again. If you've been following my Loud House fanfiction from the beginning, well, you'll know it when you see it as you read this chapter.
Much later in the afternoon, the two sisters with aspirations of show business were making their way home to the Loud House, and both of them were filling each other in about the rendezvous they had with their respective sweethearts that day like typical love-struck teenage girls, as Luna told Luan all about the rocking jam session she and Sam had, while Luan told Luna all about she and Benny spending the afternoon watching local thespians perform the collective works of Shakespeare in the park. No sooner did they step foot into their house that Lori practically rushed them before they could even reach the stairs to retreat to the bedroom they share.
"Guys, we really need to talk…" Lori said as she shoved them back out the front door and onto the porch.
"Whoa! Who's dropping sandbags?" Luan asked.
"Yeah, where's the fire, brah?" Luna asked.
"Sorry, but I didn't want to take a chance on Leni possibly hearing us," said Lori as she shut the door behind her.
"Somethin' up with Lenz?" Luna asked.
"She's feeling sorry for herself," began Lori.
Upon hearing this, the two younger sisters shared a sympathetic look with one another; Leni was always usually so cheerful and optimistic, so to hear that she was feeling sorry for herself was very alarming to say the least.
"Aww, what happened?" Luan asked.
"Nothing, that's kinda the point," Lori began to explain. "She's upset because she doesn't have a steady boo like the rest of us do…"
"A steady boo? That's what Leni's boo-hooing about?" Luan asked with a laugh, while her two older sisters glared at her with annoyance. "But, seriously, Lori, why is that such a bad thing?"
Both of the younger sisters failed to see why Lori was making such a big deal out of Leni's predicament.
"Yeah, so Lenz ain't got a squeeze; so what?" Luna responded with a shrug. "Ain't no shame in that."
"I know, and I've tried explaining that to her, but it's just not registering with her," explained Lori.
"Maybe her register is broken; did she try self-checkout?" Luan asked with another laugh.
"Dude, shut it!" Luna barked.
Luan pantomimed closing a register drawer and added her own verbal 'cha-ching!' sound effect, which further added to her sisters' annoyance.
"Come on, ladies; let's try to be a little more mature about this!" Lori commanded.
"It's a bummer that Lenz is in a funk over not havin' a squeeze, but what do you want from us?" Luna asked.
"Well, what Leni's really hung up on is not being able to experience the lovey-dovey aspect of having a squeeze," Lori continued to explain, "but, if she could see that no relationship is perfect, that might just get her to stop obsessing about it… so, my plan was to have you two fake a fight with your sweethearts in front of Leni, so she'll see even you aren't perfect couples like she thinks you are."
This plan did not sound particularly ideal to either of the two; as a matter of fact, it sounded just plain awful.
"Why can't you and the Boo-Boo Bear pretend to duke it out?" Luna asked.
"Yeah," agreed Luan. "It's your idea, why don't you guys do it?"
Lori scoffed, "Maybe the two of you missed the bus, but Bobby literally doesn't live in this town anymore."
"So do it virtually then!" Luna insisted on Lori staging a fight with Bobby via video messaging.
"That's not good enough," said Lori with a shake of her head. "You know something's more likely to stick in Leni's mind if she actually sees it happening before her eyes… she sees the two of you with your sweethearts a lot, and if you can somehow fake a little fight with them in front of her, it may be what it takes to get her to stop obsessing over not having a boyfriend of her own and stop feeling sorry for herself."
Luna and Luan exchanged a pair of uneasy looks with one another.
"Well… Sam was talkin' about wantin' to pop over next weekend…" Luna admitted.
"And, I suppose I could invite Benny over as well," suggested Luan. "But, we're so perfect for each other, what could we even fight about?"
"Samesies with Sammie," agreed Luna.
"It literally doesn't matter," stressed Lori. "Just make something up; just so long as Leni sees you guys fighting with your sweethearts, and we can get her to chill out about not having a boyfriend."
Luna and Luan once again exchanged uneasy looks with one another before they reluctantly agreed to comply with their oldest sister's request.
"Ehh, a'ight, then… anything for our sis, I guess…" mumbled Luna.
"Yeah," said Luan with a shrug. "I mean, it shouldn't be too hard to act in front of Leni; she'd believe anything she sees."
"Exactly," exclaimed Lori. "You guys would barely have to put up much of an act anyway – just the slightest little argument would be more than enough for her to see."
The plan was set into place. The following weekend, Leni had to work a shift at Reininger's that Saturday afternoon, so to time everything just right, Luan brought Benny over about ten or fifteen minutes before Leni was due home to give them time to prepare for their performance; Sam planned on dropping by later in the day. As the two entered the living room, and took their seat on the couch, the curly-haired boy was still a little confused...
"So, let me get this straight…" Benny began, "we have to fake a fight in front of your sister, Leni, so she won't feel bad about not having a boyfriend?"
Luan sighed and continued to explain, "Look, I know it sounds cuckoo, but this was Lori's bright idea."
Still looking a little confused, Benny asked, "Okay… I'm sorry, but which one is Leni and which one is Lori, again?"
Luan just stared at Benny, but he could not help it – his girlfriend has so many siblings, it's not entirely easy for outsiders to keep track of who all is who in such a large family as the Louds.
He blushed a little and said, "I'm sorry… I know they're both tall blondes, but I keep getting them mixed up."
Luan rolled her eyes; she was well aware of the difficulty it is for outsiders to get her siblings mixed up, but for she and her siblings, the constant reminders to their friends and other acquaintances do get rather old rather quickly.
"Leni's the pretty one; Lori's the one who farts a lot," explained Luan.
Benny repressed a little snicker. "Well, okay, I guess… but… what are we even supposed to fight about?"
"I don't know," said Luan with a shrug. "Lori said just make up something to fight about as long as we can convince Leni."
"I can't even think of anything we could fight about…" said Benny.
"Me neither," said Luan with another shrug. "I mean, we get along famously!"
"We're perfect for each other!" Benny agreed.
"Yeah, if anything, we should be the spokesmodels for those 'Relationship Goals' memes!" Luan exclaimed.
Benny laughed, "Well, I know we wouldn't be the subject of one of those 'Distracted Boyfriend' memes!"
Luan and Benny smiled at one another – their sentiments seemed to confirm the mindset they mutually shared that they were, indeed, a perfect couple. Unfortunately, Benny mentioning the popular and well-recognized Distracted Boyfriend meme did strike a thought that had been nagging Luan in the back of her mind, as the smile across her face quivered into a look of uneasiness.
"Well… now that you mention it… there is that one little thing that does bother me…" confessed Luan.
The smile across Benny's face almost instantaneously disappeared upon hearing this as he asked, "What do you mean?"
Outside the Loud House, a little compact car pulled up in front of the walkway of 1216 Franklin Avenue, as Miguel had given both Leni and Fiona a ride after work that afternoon.
Leni exited the vehicle, and expressed her appreciation for her friend's gesture. "Thanks for the ride, Miguel!"
"You know it, girl!" Miguel said.
"We're still on for the movies tomorrow, right?" Fiona asked from the backseat.
"Totes!" Leni squealed. "I have def been looking forward to seeing this one for a long time; it's going to be so funny!"
"We were thinking about swinging by the food court for a quick lunch before going," said Miguel. "Or, maybe we could grab a bite afterwards... what do you think?"
"Oh, I don't know…" said Leni. "If we eat lunch before the movie, then we might be too full for popcorn and candy… but then again, if we eat lunch after the movie, we might be too full from popcorn and candy…"
"I say we have lunch before," suggested Fiona. "All of that artificial butter and empty calories wouldn't be too healthy for us, anyway."
Miguel nodded and agreed, "Yeah, she's not wrong…"
Leni shrugged it off. "Okay, then! Lunch before the movies it is!"
"I'll swing by and pick you both up tomorrow, say, noonish?" Miguel offered.
"Sounds good to me!" Leni exclaimed.
"See you, Leni!" Fiona said.
"Bye, girl!" Miguel said, as he drove off down the block, en route to taking Fiona home as well.
The bubbly blonde happily trekked down the walkway, up the porch steps, and through the front door into her home, but once she stepped into the house, she witnessed an unpleasant sight unfolding before her in the living room as she saw her little sister and her boyfriend exchanging some sharp words with each other in a heated dispute:
"We settled this a long time ago!" Benny insisted. "You know it was just a big misunderstanding!"
"Come on, Benny!" Luan barked. "I saw the way you two were looking at each other – it couldn't have been more obvious!"
"Okay, I don't know what exactly was running through Juney's mind during our conversation," continued Benny. "But, I was not flirting with her!"
"I saw what happened with my own eyes; you two were practically drooling all over each other!" Luan barked.
Benny grimaced at Luan's rather unsavory description. "Where do you get these ideas from?!"
"From that look you had in your eyes!" Luan insisted. "That first day of theater club, you couldn't keep your eyes off of her! You think she's really pretty, don't you?!"
"You want me to admit that Juney is a pretty girl?" Benny asked. "Fine! I admit it: Juney is a pretty girl, okay? So what? That doesn't mean I'm interested in her! Ruby's a pretty girl in her own way as well! So is Shannon! We have a number of pretty girls in theater club, but I'm not interested in any of them!"
Ordinarily, Leni hated confrontations of any kind, and would do whatever she could to avoid getting into any of them if they did not even involve her in the first place; but seeing the usually happy and lovey-dovey Luan and Benny argue with each other as they were made the blonde teen extremely curious as to what they were even fighting about, as she walked over behind the couch and squat down to the eye-level of the bickering two to better witness their domestic quarrel.
"Well, I guess this proves you obviously don't think I'm pretty!" Luan said curtly.
Leni gasped upon hearing this, as she turned to Benny with a look of horror on her face and asked him, "You don't think Luan's pretty, Benny?"
"Stay out of this, Leni!" Luan snapped at her sister butting into the fight.
"I never said that!" Benny insisted.
"Well, you've never said I'm pretty, either!" Luan argued.
Leni continued butting into the argument to defend her little sister: "She's got a point, Benny. Just look at her; Luan is very pretty!"
"THANK YOU!" Luan snapped at her buttinski sister again.
"Even though her scrunchie is a fashion nightmare, and her braces do kinda clash with anything she wears…" added Leni, despite not meaning any harm in her tactful statement.
"NOT HELPING, LENI!" Luan barked at her sister once more.
"I have told you you're pretty, Luan!" Benny insisted. "And even so, I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of it; looks aren't even important to me, anyway!"
Leni gasped again when Benny said that; even she was familiar with people using such a seemingly clichéd line in arguments such as this, as she responded, "O-M-Gosh! Isn't that supposed to be like a nice way of telling someone she's ugly without telling her she's ugly?"
"NOT HELPING, LENI!" Benny barked at the blonde buttinski.
"Well, I guess that cat's out of the bag now, isn't it?" Luan asked as she folded her arms in front of her chest.
"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" Benny insisted. "I have told you you're pretty, Luan! But, my point is I was drawn to you because of your personality, and that's what's important to me!"
Leni still continued to butt into the argument, as she began siding with Benny this time: "He's got a point, Luan. You have such a wonderful personality! Even if you can be a little obnoxious and annoying at times, you're still really quirky, and kind, and sweet, and hilarious!"
"THANK YOU!" Benny snapped at Leni again.
"Hmph! Sure!" Luan muttered as she turned away from Benny.
"I had no idea you were so superficial, Luan!" Benny said as he arose from the couch and stormed over to the front door.
"And where are you going?" Luan called out to him.
"I've no need for any of this," explained Benny as he left the house. "This is a side of you I've never seen before, and honestly, Luan, it's not a side I'd like to continue seeing."
Benny stepped out the front door and departed the Loud House, just as Luan hopped from the couch and raced over to the doorway to call out to him one last time: "FINE! BE THAT WAY!"
Luan slammed the door shut just as Leni approached her from behind to ask, "Luan? What does superficial mean?"
"OH, SHUT UP!" Luan snapped as she stomped up the stairs; Leni could then hear the sound of another door slamming, indicative of Luan shutting herself in her room.
The usually cheerful, bubbly blonde was mortified and devastated to see that her little sister had just had a really nasty fight with her boyfriend; they always seemed so happy with each other while reveling in each other's company. As if that wasn't bad enough, Leni would witness another domestic quarrel later that afternoon. As she sat alone in the room she and Lori share applying a fresh coat of polish to her fingernails, she could hear a pair of voices engaged in what sounded like a very heated discussion. Even though she was unable to clearly make out just what it was the voices were saying, she recognized one of them as being another one of her little sisters; the other voice was higher and sounded more feminine. The voices sounded as though they came from out in the hall, but when Leni slipped off of her bed and stepped out into the hall, she found it deserted. Still, she could hear the voices, albeit a little louder and clearer. She looked across the hall, saw the window in Luna and Luan's bedroom was open, and that the voices seemed to be coming from outside said window. With Luan no longer in the room, Leni stepped in and peered out the window overlooking the backyard where she found Luna was deep into a heated dispute with her girlfriend, Sam.
"I'm just saying, Lunes, you don't have to be such a spotlight hog whenever we're playing." Sam explained.
"I'm just tryin' to be a showman like the pros, dude!" Luna insisted.
"There's a difference between being a showman and a showoff." Sam rebutted.
Luna looked absolutely insulted to hear Sam say this to her; she retorted, "Uh-uh! Dude, you did not just call me a showoff!"
"If the boot fits..." replied Sam.
Luna still wore a look of insult on her face and added, "Hey, I just get passionate about my music is all! Is that a crime?!"
"Of course not," replied Sam. "But, it's not just me; Sully and Mazzy have been talking about how you steal our thunder as well."
"Oh, I see!" Luna barked. "My own mates gossipin' about me behind my back, that's how it is?"
"We're a band, Lunes." Sam reminded her. "We discuss things about our band, and how they affect us as a band!"
"Somethin' seems to have slipped your brainbox, Sam…" Luna added, while Sam cocked her head and furrowed her brow. "This is my band! I founded it! I'm the one who chose the rest of you for my band!"
"Well, if you wanted everything your way, then maybe you should've just stuck to being a solo act instead," countered Sam. "A band is like a team, Luna! We all should have our thoughts and opinions heard."
"But it's still my band! It's my music we play! Even the biggest bands in the world have a frontman! Just like Mick was when he was with the Cobble Stones!" Luna insisted.
"Well, you can keep playing your music if you want," Sam calmly said as she turned to leave. "Because we're through."
Luna's eyes bulged out of their sockets like Marty Feldman as she watched Sam walk away. "What's that supposed to mean?!"
"You can just fly solo from this moment on for all I care," said Sam as she looked over her shoulder. "I'm sure you'd be a lot happier with that arrangement."
"WHAT?!" Luna responded in surprise. "SAMMIE, WAIT!"
Leni watched from the window as Sam turned the corner along the side of the house, while Luna chased after her, both of their voices having faded from earshot. Once again, as with what she had witnessed with Luan and Benny earlier in the day, seeing another one of her little sisters fighting with her sweetheart distressed Leni greatly; the wholesome blonde absolutely hated confrontations of any kind, whether she was involved or not, and whether it was among her own family members and their friends – or, in this case, her family members and their beloveds. Luna and Sam always seemed like such a happy couple, as did Luan and Benny; Leni could feel a part of her die on the inside after she saw the worlds these happy couples lived in come crashing down around them.
Later in the evening, Leni sat alone in her room atop her bed with her arms wrapped around her knees being pulled into her chest. From across the hall, despite their bedroom door being shut, she heard aggressive voices being tossed back and forth between Luna and Luan… presumably the two of them relaying the details of their fights with their respective sweethearts to each other. Leni lowered her chin onto her knees and tried her hardest to tune their bickering voices out as all of this negativity bothered her immensely. At that moment, Lori stepped into the room with a basket of fresh laundry; she too heard the voices from across the hall as she rolled her eyes.
"Luna and Luan going at it again?" Lori asked.
Leni wasted no time in informing Lori of the situations that had unfolded earlier that day: "Oh, Lori, it's awful! Just awful! Luna and Luan had really big fights with Sam and Benny!"
The oldest sister had begun to fold her clean laundry, but stopped when she heard Leni mention her younger sisters fighting with their significant others, as well as the distressed tone in her roommate's voice… sounded like her plan was working like a charm, as she screwed a surprised look onto her face for Leni's benefit.
"Really?" Lori asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I saw them, and it was just so awful!" Leni fretted. Given her own hysterics, and the fact that her memory isn't exactly clear, she unknowingly distorted her account of the fights she witnessed to her older roommate: "Benny told Luan she was ugly, and Sam told Luna she was thundering on her, and they were all screaming and yelling at each other; it was so sad!"
Lori was taken aback a little; Leni was clearly very upset, she did not think her plan would work this well. Even without knowing that there were some major discrepencies in Leni's account, she still continued playing along: "Okay, wow. That was literally harsh!"
"I know, right? Luna and Sam always seemed totes happy together… so did Luan and Benny…" said Leni sorrowfully.
Lori finally put her part of her plan into action as she began to enlighten her younger and more naïve roommate of the romance world: "Well, Leni… let this be a lesson to you… there's literally no such thing as a perfect relationship… even the happiest of couples are bound to fight at one point or another… even Bobby and me fight from time to time, it's all part of sharing your life with someone."
Sadly, those words of wisdom did nothing for Leni's spirit, as she pointed out, "I've never seen Mom and Dad fight… I thought people who really loved each other never fight…"
"Not at all, Leni," said Lori. "And, I'm sure Mom and Dad have had their share of fights as well – they probably just don't do it in front of us, because it wouldn't be any of our business anyway."
"I guess maybe it's a good thing I never can seem to hold onto a boy," Leni finally concluded. "I sure would hate fighting with somebody I love."
On the outside, Lori continued to project a phony façade of empathy... but on the inside, she beamed that her plan had worked like a charm. Or so she thought. At that moment, the door across the hallway swung open, and the next two younger sisters stormed into the room to confront their oldest sister.
"Thanks a lot, Lori!" Luan barked.
"You really did it to us this time!" Luna barked.
"Ohh, please stop fighting, everybody!" Leni pleaded. "This is making me so sad!"
"Whoa, time out, you two!" Lori said, as she brought her hands together into a T-shape like a referee. "What are you talking about?"
"We're talking about how YOU RUINED OUR LIVES!" Luan barked.
"Yeah, your grand master plan backfired SPECTACULARLY!" Luna added.
Leni looked even more confused at this point and asked her little sisters, "What grand master plan?"
Lori suddenly looked incredibly uncomfortable, as she feverishly slid her finger across her throat and mumbled, "Ix-nay! Ix-nay!"
"You might as well know the truth, Leni," Luan turned to blonde girl in the seafoam dress. "Lori had me and Luna pretend to fight with Benny and Sam in front of you so you'd stop obsessing over not having a boyfriend of your own and forget about wanting a serious relationship!"
"Only we ended up fightin' for realsies," Luna added, fighting back the urge to strangle the oldest sister. "And now, our baes have dumped us like yesterday's trash!"
"Are you serious?!" Lori asked in shock.
"Like a heart attack!" Luna barked.
"Do you even know how hard it was for me to get up the guts to tell Benny how I really feel about him, and how long it took?" Luan barked.
"Samesies with Sammie!" Luna barked.
"So thanks for dragging all of us into your lamebrain scheme... I sure hope nothing ends up happening between you and your precious Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!" Luan barked.
"Yeah, no sense in all of us losin' our boos!" Luna barked.
The two younger sisters stormed back into their own room and slammed the door behind them as Leni turned to Lori, who was not only still looking incredibly uncomfortable, but also really guilty now as well.
"You had Luna and Luan fake fights with Sam and Benny in front of me?" Leni asked.
She couldn't believe it. Just like that, the feeling of success over her plan working like a charm instantly flew out of the room upon being made aware that said plan actually blew up in a way she had not imagined.
With a sad sigh, Lori stepped over to Leni's bed, took a seat on the edge, and confessed the truth to her roommate: "Yes, Leni… it's true. You see… I wanted you to realize that having a boyfriend, or being in a relationship, wasn't anything to obsess over like you had been. And, like I said, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship - even the happiest couples fight sometimes… I wanted you to see that for yourself… Bobby doesn't live in town anymore, so you couldn't see us fighting... so I talked Luna and Luan into faking fights with Sam and Benny in front of you, and hoped you would change your mind about wanting a boyfriend so badly… I had no idea they would end up fighting literally for realsies…"
Leni gasped as she listened to her big sister confess her plan. "Lori! That is so mean! Not just trying to fool me, but dragging Luna and Luan into it and causing their sweethearts to break up with them!"
"That wasn't part of the plan!" Lori insisted. "I know how literally happy Luna is with Sam, and Luan with Benny… I didn't think they would have anything to really fight about!"
"Well, they did… I saw them with my own eyes," Leni reminded her.
"I know… this is bad… this is literally bad…" groaned Lori.
"How could you even do something like this?" Leni demanded to know.
"I DID IT FOR YOU!" Lori insisted. "I didn't want you to feel bad about not being in a relationship like me, or Luna, or Luan… life has more to offer than a boyfriend or a girlfriend! You literally don't need a boyfriend or a girlfriend to make you happy or complete your life!"
"Tell that to Luna and Luan!" Leni countered.
Lori was stunned by Leni throwing a counterpoint at her in such a manner, but realized now the mistake she made with a plan she thought was so foolproof. Whether or not she was able to convince Leni was no longer important to her, and the fashionista did have a point – she had a tremendous task ahead of her to try to make amends with two of her younger sisters who have now been dumped by their respective significant others because of how her plan blew up in their faces.