Chapter Two: The Sound of Silence
Everyone searched all throughout the night without finding any sign of the fourteen year old blonde Tracy boy. Over 80 percent of the gross surface area of Tracy Island was searched. There were a few places that were too dangerous to search just yet without getting the proper tools, which is why Gordon, Fermat and Tin-Tin held off and returned to the house. The only ones that were still out searching were Jeff and Virgil in Thunderbird 2 and Scott in Thunderbird 1.
While they had still been out, Brains had gotten in contact with Thunderbird 5 and informed John of what was happening. John was just as worried as everyone else was, but none of them had personalized GPS devices so there was no way that he could track Alan. All he could do was hope and pray that his baby brother would be found.
It was mid day on the next day that an alarm went off on Thunderbird 2.
"Dad," Virgil exclaimed, "We only have another fifteen minutes of fuel left before we have to get back. We've been out all night, Alan's not out here."
"We're not giving up on your brother!" Jeff shot back.
"I'm not saying give up dad, but if we don't go back you'll be fishing Thunderbird 2 out of the Pacific Ocean. I don't think you want to explain to Brains how you sank a billion dollar ship." Virgil replied.
Jeff was silent for a moment. He knew his son was right. They had to go back and refuel. He couldn't risk losing one of the machines just because he let it run out of fuel.
"Okay…" he muttered, before he hit the comm system. "Brains," he said, "This is Thunderbird 2, we're returning."
"Understood Mr. Tracy," Brains replied via the comm system.
Jeff Tracy had just turned Thunderbird 2 around when something caught his eye on the surface of the water. Squinting his eyes he sat up straighter in his green chair and leaned forward.
"Virg! Look!" He exclaimed, gesturing to the lump on the surface of the water.
It only took that one word for Virgil to activate a camera on the bottom side of the ship and train it on the thing in the water. Once the camera landed on the blue object, both Jeff and Virgil each took a collective breath of air.
"Brains," Jeff got back on the comm system once more, "We found him!"
Not waiting for an answer, Jeff took off and threw down the ear piece for the comm system. Standing up, he put the ship in auto pilot before he instructed Virgil to take the ship back to the bay. Rushing out of the bridge, Jeff took the ladder down to the main loading area where he bypassed the submersible and hit the button that lowered the launch ramp for Thunderbird 2. Before the ramp was even fully lowered, Jeff jumped in to the ice cold water, reaching the body with ease.
Grabbing on to Alan, Jeff hooked an arm around his youngest boy and began to swim, dragging Alan back towards shore. It didn't escape Jeff's notice that Alan was completely blue and pale. Hopefully he would be able to resuscitate his youngest. He didn't know what he would do if he couldn't. No, he couldn't even think that! Alan would survive! There was no ifs ands or buts!
Getting to shore, Jeff dragged Alan's unmoving form on to the sand before he collapsed down next to his son.
"Come on son, don't do this to me!" Jeff urged before he put his left hand over his right; interlocking his fingers as he placed his hands on Alan's chest and began CPR.
Up and down, up and down. Jeff pressed down on Alan's chest fifty times before he tilted the blonde's head back, pinched his nose shut and breathed in to his mouth twice. There was no response at all, so Jeff began the chest compressions again and again. With each compression his hope that Alan would return began to dim. CPR was very difficult even for the seasoned veteran. The speed and veracity that had to be kept up would wear anyone out.
"Alan, come on please!" Jeff begged in between breaths of air. He studied his youngest child's face, noting that there wasn't any sort of change at all.
As the minutes ticked by, Jeff's arms began to burn but he wouldn't give up, not yet at least.
"Son, wake up!" He begged once more, tears forming at the corners of his eyes as his mind began to tell him that his baby was gone. Training vied for control with his maternal instinct. His mind was telling him that enough was enough; he had to let Alan go, but his maternal instinct was telling him to keep going.
Fifteen minutes passed before the entire Tracy clan raced through the palm trees, followed closely by Tin-Tin and Fermat. Virgil had radioed ahead, giving Jeff's exact location on the island and right after he and Scott had landed their respective ships they all had raced as fast as they could to their father's side. By the time they reached him, fifteen minutes had passed by. They saw that Jeff was ready to collapse from exhaustion and Alan was still blue and unmoving.
Wordlessly Gordon and Scott tapped Jeff on the shoulder. Immediately Jeff stopped his compressions and moved out of the way while Gordon began his own compressions and Scott took his place by Alan's head. They continued this way; brothers swapping out every five minutes. Still, Alan made no improvements at all.
The minutes ticked by; each second was like a knife in Jeff Tracy's heart. He had promised his late wife that he would look after and protect their boys and now here he was, breaking that promise.
After twenty minutes, both Scott and Gordon were exhausted and gleaming with sweat. They were slowing down their efforts but they hadn't stopped yet.
Everyone's begging for Alan to wake up were missed by Jeff's ears. All he could see was his son's lifeless body being moved up and down. All of a sudden he could see a tiny baby being handed off to doctors who cleaned it up and placed the tiny bundle in the waiting arms of his wife. That vision changed to one of taking the boys to the Johnson Space Center, and then to several birthday parties and then to the building of the family house on Tracy Island.
Finally the visions passed, revealing his fourteen year old still unmoving on the sandy floor of Tracy Island.
Tears rolling down his eyes, Jeff looked up and closed his eyes for a brief moment; his tears rolling down to drip on the sandy floor.
"Gordon…stop…" he whispered, the words tasting bitter in his mouth.
"What?" Gordon breathed out, almost out of breath, "Dad!"
Opening his eyes, Jeff focused on Gordon and replied, "It's time…we have to let him go…"
"It doesn't matter how quick or brave you are…" Tin-Tin muttered ever so softly.
"You just can't save everyone…" Fermat finished; tears pouring down his own face.
It was what Jeff had told Alan himself onboard Thunderbird 1 a few months ago before they had gone after the Hood. Alan had told them both what his father had said and both Fermat and Tin-Tin had taken it to heart. They didn't fully understand what Jeff had meant at the time, but now they did. Jeff had pulled Alan from the water but it had already been too late.
When Gordon kept going, Jeff placed a hand on his son's shoulder. Finally, with tears rolling down his own face, Gordon stopped CPR and leaned back.
Jeff grabbed on to Gordon and just held him, while both Scott and Virgil just put their hands on the both of them. Tin-Tin stood there staring at Alan's unmoving body; tears pouring down her own face. After a few minutes she turned and ran off in to the jungle.
Fermat tried to blink back the tears; not believing that Alan was well and truly dead, but even as he kept looking, silently begging his best friend to wake up, he couldn't stop the whimper that escaped from his lips.
Virgil Tracy looked up and over at the young lad who was shaking; obviously in shock and in terrible pain. Without speaking, Virgil left his brothers and father, walked over to Fermat and picked him up, allowing the thirteen year old to bury his face in to his shoulder. Virgil liked Fermat but he hardly ever spoke to the youth when he was by himself. Fermat was closer to Alan's age so it had been natural that the two of them would be friends, but now Virgil could see that Fermat needed someone and Brains was still in the Control Room, so Virgil had decided to take it upon himself to be Fermat's 'person' right at that moment. No one should be allowed to grieve alone.
…
Forty-Eight hours slowly went by for the Tracy family. Because of the secrecy of their operation, they had to get everything done by themselves, but finally, just two days after they found young Alan, it was now time to say goodbye.
While John Tracy; who had come down from Thunderbird 5 for the funeral, and Virgil were digging the grave by hand, Jeff was gently dressing his youngest in the Thunderbird's flight uniform, complete with the Thunderbird's badge; the same badge that Alan had worked so very hard to earn. It seemed like only yesterday when Jeff pinned the colorful badge to Alan's shirt. Now it adorned the flight uniform that should have seen so much more use before that day would come.
Straightening the badge, Jeff fought back the tears and the sobs that threatened to escape his throat as he brushed Alan's hair for the last time. Looking down at his boy, Alan Tracy looked so calm and peaceful; as if he were sleeping. Honestly, Jeff would have done anything to have that be so, but there was no way that he could turn back the clock.
In the living room Jeff knew Gordon and Scott would be preparing the funeral. Lady Penelope would be there too, along with Parker. The both of them had been nothing but fully supportive of Jeff and his grief, even going so far as to take his place on a few missions when the world still needed the Thunderbirds. The Earth never stopped spinning and the planet's inhabitants still needed rescuers, no matter if they lost one of their own or not.
Finishing up the final touches, Jeff leaned down and planted a soft kiss to Alan's forehead. Normally he was never one to show that much emotion. Hugs, kisses were not his thing, but this was the last time he would ever be able to touch his youngest child. He had to make that count for something.
"I know I was hardly ever there for you; not the way I should have been. After your mom died, I focused more and more on International Rescue than I did you and your brothers. I guess it was a way to hide from the grief. I was so busy that I didn't see how unhappy you were not to be a part of this. I always told you that school had to come first, but really I never saw you as a grown up young man, not until the Hood came and opened my eyes. That day, I was so very proud of you. You never backed down; never gave up and you saved a life after everything that had been done. That was what the Thunderbirds stand for. Alan, I…from the very moment you came out of your mom, I loved you. And I always will. All this time I had hope that you would become the man I hoped you'd be, but now I will strive to be hero that you are. Say hi to your mom up there for me. Tell her that we will make you and her proud. I love you son…" Jeff murmured ever so softly.
Gently he patted Alan's shoulder before he headed for the door and opened it. The sound of the door opening got Scott's attention and after a quick nod from Jeff, Scott entered the room and grabbed the back of the gurney that Alan was on while Jeff grabbed the front. Slowly and carefully they lifted the gurney and carried it out to the living room where the coffin lay. Normally this all would have been done at a funeral home but Jeff wouldn't have it any other way.
As carefully as they could, both Jeff and Scott put the gurney down in front of the coffin, and once it was down, Jeff picked up his youngest for the last time and lowered him in to the wooden coffin. It all didn't take long at all; maybe six minutes before Alan was all settled.
Taking a big, deep breath, Jeff stepped back and looked to Kyrano who nodded and pulled back the curtain that had been raised to block off the living room from the rest of the house. Behind the curtain stood Brains, Fermat, Onaha, Lady Penelope, Parker and the rest of the Tracy family.
Not saying a word, both Jeff and Scott left everyone present to say their goodbyes to Alan.
After three and a half hours, they all came back and started the funeral. It wasn't a traditional affair with music and a preacher. Instead, everyone got to come up and share their favorite memories of Alan before they all offered their brother a solemn goodbye. Finally, as Scott and Gordon closed the coffin and began to seal it, video footage began to play of a baby Alan Tracy being held by his mother, and then toddler Alan taking his first steps and then his first day at school, his first words and then the one and only snowball fight which had led to the picture that sat on his desk in Mission Control.
Smoothly Scott, Gordon, Virgil, John, Jeff and Parker picked the coffin up and carried it outside the house; everyone else following. It was hard work but they carefully carried the wooden casket all the way to the one spot on the island that Alan always seemed to favorite. It was the little sandy spot where he would always go to skip his rocks. Right there just in the tree line was where the grave had been dug.
Wordlessly the Tracy clan lowered the coffin down in to the hole via ropes and then once it was down they each grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it on top. The thud it made when it hit the wooden top of the coffin was like the proverbial nail that sealed the coffin forever.
They all stepped back and allowed the others to follow suit; tossing handfuls of dirt on top of the coffin. Lady Penelope was the last one. When she finished, she glanced up at Jeff; tears sparkling in her eyes. She knew the pain that Jeff had to have been experiencing. Lady Penelope could see it in his eyes. He was trying so damn hard to hold it back; the tears and grief but sometime he had to let it out.
Lady Penelope knew that Jeff didn't need another 'I'm so sorry' line. So, instead she touched his forearm and said, "If you ever need anything, Jeff. I am only a call away." Receiving a nod in acknowledgement, Lady Penelope glanced once more at Alan's gravesite before she said, "Farewell Alan, darling. Watch over your family." With that she turned and headed back towards her vehicle with Parker in tow.
Jeff Tracy understood where Lady Penelope was coming from. She was leaving because there was nothing more to be done or said. It was over, Alan was at rest. Finally when it was just the Tracy clan, Jeff turned back towards the house while his sons each took up the task of shoveling the dirt on top of the grave. Jeff knew that he couldn't do it himself without breaking down.
As he entered the tree line and got far enough away that his boys wouldn't hear him, he fell down on to his knees and bowed his head as a wave of sadness washed over him. He could see Alan, he could see him just standing there in front of me with that warm smile on his rosy lips, but even as Jeff reached out for the vision, it vanished.
"I should never have left you son…" he whimpered, voice cracking, "I knew you were sick but I let the job get in the way…and you…you slipped away and I didn't know…I wasn't there. You let go and you were all alone…"
That was what hurt the most. His youngest took his last breath and his heart beat it's last beat and he was all alone with no one there with him to comfort him or even try to save him. Of all the people Jeff Tracy saved, it should have been one more. It should have been his baby boy!
Hearing a leaf snap, Jeff flinched and looked up with tears streaming down his face. For a brief second his brain imagined that the face he was looking at was Alan's; with that impish grin on his face, but the blond hair and blue eyes turned. Blond hair became brown and the blue became blue glasses. It was Fermat standing there, bottom lip trembling and eyes blood shot from crying.
Neither man nor boy said anything. They just looked at one another for a few seconds before Fermat took those last few steps and put a comforting hand on Jeff's shoulder. It was a little weird for him because in a sense, Jeff was his father's boss, but in that instant Fermat didn't care. This was a man that was in pain; terrible pain and he needed support.
Jeff looked at the small hand on his shoulder before he reached out and enveloped Fermat in a tight hug. Honestly, hugging Brain's boy as he was, it was unusual. Normally Jeff did nothing but speak to Fermat and maybe the occasional shoulder pat, but certainly nothing like this. Yet, at that particular moment in time, hugging Alan's best friend, in a way it made him feel closer to his son and it was like offering up one last goodbye to the one person he could never hug again.
…
"He's coming to!"
A feminine voice out of the darkness was the first thing he picked up. It was what had disturbed his sleep. Slowly the young man opened his ocean blue eyes; eyes that took a long time to focus on anything, but as shapes slid in to focus, Alan saw a man in his late forties walk around a curtain and approach him.
"Finally! I was beginning to wonder if you would ever return to us!" The male man in the white lab coat said. "You have been out for two and a half days."
Smoothly he reached over and poured water in to a green plastic cup and placed an equally green straw in the cup. "Here, sip slowly," he instructed, offering the straw to the blond.
Slowly the blond boy lifted his head; red lips wrapping themselves around the straw and drawing in a bit of liquid.
Once he finished swallowing, the blond boy let the straw go and allowed his head to fall back on to the soft pillow.
"W-where am I?" He whispered, not recognizing anything around him.
"Rapture, my boy! You are in Rapture. You were found on the overside in an overturned boat half dead, so you were brought down here. It is lucky you were found because you were half dead; sick with fever, but I am happy to say that my medicine seems to be working. Your fever broke this morning. Now, can you tell me your name?" The doctor asked.
His name? The blond looked confused. He had a name…but what was it? It was right there on the tip of his tongue but it wouldn't come to him.
"My name?" Fourteen year old Alan Tracy asked the doctor. A second later his features softened as he said, "My name's Matthew. Matthew Lincoln."