Gwen and Merlin went to the throne room in silence. The guards were only told that she needed help with her papers and that the King would probably come soon, for neither of them doubted that he would come.
Gwen asked Merlin to sit down and sat down opposite him. "So Merlin, here we are alone and no one can overhear us so easily. I want to thank you that although you have magic and are punishable by death in Camelot, you have never left Arthur's side," Gwen began.
Merlin looked up in surprise and gazed into her friendly eyes. He said without thinking, "It is my destiny. We are two sides of the same coin."
"What do you mean?" she asked curiously.
"Oh, I'll have to go a long way to really understand that. I understand it, if I think about it, not really understand it myself.
Neither of them noticed that Arthur was now standing behind a pillar in the throne room and could hear every word Merlin said.
Merlin had got up and walked up and down the throne room as he told the story. "Where do I start? You know that I grew up in Ealdor with my mother. You can't learn magic easily, either you are born with it or not. It is not a choice you can make. You even have to learn to control magic, otherwise accidents can happen where people can get hurt or even killed. I was born with magic. I could do magic before I could even talk or walk. My mother was afraid that someone might discover the secret, so I grew up very isolated. But it didn't make me an unhappy child. I took great pleasure in nature and I did not mind working. The children in the village noticed that I was different somehow and after a while they avoided me. Will, on the other hand, didn't think of doing the same as the other children." A sad smile crept across Merlin's face. "In one incident where Will was nearly struck by a branch, I used my magic without thinking and saved his life. He knew immediately, even without hearing a spell from me, that I had saved him through my magic. He looked at me thoughtfully, nodded, thanked me and did not mention it further. Eventually my mother found out that Will knew about my secret. Afraid that he would betray me, she sent me to my Uncle Gaius. She hoped he could guide me. Though I often miss my mother, of course, Gaius is like a father to me now. He always supported me, had either encouraging words or good advice in every hopeless situation. Oh, I realize I'm digressing. Hmm, where was I? "Yes, magic and fate..."
Merlin was interrupted by Gwen, "Will you show me your magic?"
Merlin stopped moving and looked at her with big eyes. "You want me to perform magic before your eyes?" He didn't realise he was speaking to Gwen in confidence again.
"Yes, so far you've only told me that you can do magic, but I would like to see it, so that I can finally silence the doubt in my mind, besides, I'm just curious," she replied smiling.
"Aren't you afraid that the spell might go against you?", Merlin asked irritated.
Arthur, who had understood every word, was about to throw himself protectively in front of Gwen and at the same time shout at her how thoughtless her wish was. But he was so distracted by his wife's laughter that he continued to listen attentively.
"Merlin, if you really wanted to harm me, you would not wait until I asked you to use magic. This is absurd. I don't know anything about it, so if you don't mind and it's not dangerous, I'd be happy if you showed me something beautiful," she said, looking forward to learning something new right away.
Merlin calmed down, concentrated, looked Gwen in the eye and said, "FEABERNE."
Gwen saw, as she expected, the golden glow of his eyes and was surprised to see it in Merlin's eyes. Merlin, however, reached out his right hand and slowly opened it.
Gwen opened her eyes wide and asked, worried, "Why doesn't the flame burn your hand?"
"The flame burns without heat, but it gives off light, so I don't get burned," he replied and let the flame go out.
"That was beautiful. I thank you. I am sorry that I interrupted you just now. You were just about to speak of magic and of your destiny", she said with a smile and Merlin began again to tell: "Yes, my magic and destiny. You know how it came about that I became Arthur's servant. I was able to resist the sleeping spell through magic and save Arthur from the dagger. Even then I had heard about my fate, but I didn't want to believe it. Arthur was a conceited fool and I had no interest in protecting him, the Prince of Camelot, with magic outlawed by death penalty. I saved him in that moment without thinking about it, and suddenly I was his servant."
Merlin paused for a moment and Gwen asked, carefully, "But who told you of your fate? Was it Gaius?"
"No, that was..." Merlin swallowed and quickly said, "Kilgharrah. He is a dragon who is now a trusted friend and has saved my life, ours, on so many occasions with his advice."
"Wait, did you just say that a dragon betrayed your destiny and helped you?", Gwen asked in shock. Though it had been some time, she could not forget the images of death, fire, fear and terror that the dragon had brought to Camelot.
"I'm sorry, I...please let me explain," Merlin said quickly after Gwen had already leapt up. She paused, nodded and sat down again, wringing her hands in her lap.
Arthur's hand, meanwhile, had shot to his sword by itself. He clasped the handle so tightly that his knuckles came out white. With the greatest of difficulty he remained in his hiding place.
"Please explain it to me." "Kilgharrah, is a being of magic. I could hear him in my mind the very first day I arrived in Camelot and he called out to me. He said that I had a great destiny and that my life was bound to young Arthur Pendragon. I didn't want to believe that at all. We were two sides of the same coin and Arthur was destined to unite all of Albion, to free magic and bring peace and prosperity to the people. The more I got to know Arthur, the more I saw this king in him that he could one day be. So I stayed by his side and protected him - with magic if I had to.
The dragon's attack was partly my fault. I had promised him his deliverance, as he had helped me again by giving me advice to save Arthur's life. I had no idea he was plotting revenge. Uther had killed all his kind and chained him in a cave for years. I wanted to kill him for bringing so much death and suffering to Camelot. I had the power to do it, but I couldn't," Merlin concluded the explanation.
Even though Gwen saw that Merlin found this confession difficult, some details were missing, so she asked: "I thought Arthur had killed the great dragon and how do you have the power to kill a dragon? Are you that powerful?"
Merlin pondered something until, shaking his head, he replied, "Arthur didn't kill it. He merely wounded it."
Arthur breathed in, startled. He hadn't killed the dragon? But why were there no more attacks afterwards?
Merlin gave Gwen a moment to understand this information and went on: "Yes and no. I may be a powerful wizard, but that alone does not give me power over dragons. I am, however, the last Dragonlord and so the dragon is forced to obey my command."
"But I thought the last Dragonlord died in your arms years ago and..." She stopped when she saw the pain in Merlin's face.
"Balinor was my birth father,"
this one after a few seconds. Arthur thought he heard wrong. Balinor was Merlin's father, who died in his arms? His face twisted with pain and sorrow as he felt the loss of his father all too well.
"He loved my mother. He did not know she was pregnant when he left her to protect her. Uther's men were after him, which is why he could only offer her a life on the run and he did not want to do that to the woman he loved. The gift is only passed from father to son when the father dies. Many young Dragonlords have died in their first attempt to command a dragon. I didn't know if I could do it, but I had to try, to protect Arthur and Camelot. When I saw the dragon had to obey my orders, I couldn't just kill it. I had seen so much death and destruction in those days, I couldn't bear any more of it. I couldn't kill a creature that was born with magic like me. I granted mercy to the Great Dragon and promised him that if he ever brought death and destruction upon Camelot again, he would pay for it with his life. For years I sought his counsel, at first only in desperate situations. Now I seek counsel when I feel lonely or just to make sure Kilgharrah is all right.
Merlin's voice got very rough from all the talking and his throat started to hurt. Gwen poured him a cup of water and handed it to him. He thanked him and Gwen began to talk: "So you are not only a wizard, but you are also a Dragonlord, you are fated to protect my husband and you have a good heart."
Merlin did not only blush when he said that, but he blushed and hid his face behind the cup.
"Thank you for telling me so much. I can probably only guess how much more you could tell, but for now I've had enough to think about for one day. I want to stress once again that I trust you, Merlin, and that I find the idea of you being evil simply absurd. I do, however, have a question to ask you: What will you do if Arthur sentences you to death?" asked the queen, never letting Merlin out of her sight.
Arthur flinched at this question and held his breath.
Meanwhile, Merlin closed her eyes, pondered briefly and returned the queen's gaze: "I told Arthur that if he gave me the chance to explain everything to him, I would accept his decision, no matter what it was.
Gwen looked at her good friend in bewilderment, "What? Are you suicidal?"
"No, I would give my life to protect Arthur. If that's the way it's going to be, then I'll have to accept it, although I had hoped to give my life in a more meaningful way, of course, but you don't always get what you hope for," he said, full of pain in his voice.
"Merlin, what...
"No, Gwen, I can't talk about that today. Please not today. If you do not mind, I would like to go back to Gaius and see if he needs my help," Merlin said evasively.
Gwen nodded and said goodbye, "I only now realise how little I know about you, Merlin. Although so much of your life has remained hidden from me until now, I trust you. You have protected me so many times, put your life in danger so often to protect Arthur. I know that you have encouraged Arthur to listen to his heart despite all the other influences and in so doing have reaffirmed his love for me. I want to thank you for that. I will do everything in my power to ensure that nothing happens to you," said Gwen.
Merlin smiled and raised his hands defensively: "No, Gwen. I don't want to come between you and Arthur."
Arthur shook his head in bewilderment at this statement. Did the fool have no instinct for self-preservation?
"Arthur is my husband, I will always love him and support him and save him from making a big mistake and you can talk as much as you want, you are my friend and I will not allow my husband to make a mistake that might destroy him just because he can't listen," she replied resolutely. Merlin smiled tiredly, said goodbye and left the queen supposedly alone in the throne room.
Gwen heard Merlin leave the room and leaned her head on her hands, feeling that all the thoughts in there made it much too heavy. She heard a noise behind her, looked up quickly and was surprised to find Arthur standing behind her. "You are late. I actually thought that you would appear much earlier in the throne room," she said.
He looked thoughtfully at his wife and replied: "You were right about that, too, I have been in the throne room for some time. Even if you will reprimand me for this, I was worried and did not want you to speak to Merlin alone. In retrospect I am almost ashamed of it, but I have listened to my feelings so often and people close to me have betrayed me that I could never have forgiven myself if something had happened to you. My mind refuses to make a decision because I simply do not know enough, which is why I followed you very quickly. I guess I have been eavesdropping on almost the entire conversation in secret," he admitted sheepishly.
Gwen came shaking his head and gave him a kiss. "I hope you made good use of the time, paid attention and really listened to Merlin," she said mockingly.
He remained serious and said: "Yes, Merlin is a magician. I have seen it."
"Is that the only thing you keep from the conversation?" the queen asked further.
"No, but it is the first question I needed to clarify. So Merlin is a sorcerer. I still can't quite believe it, but it's so obvious now. I feel quite incompetent right now - not only have I not noticed for years that Merlin possesses magic, but I think I have often received the fame and recognition that Merlin deserved. When I think about Merlin being a magician... how many times did I pillory him in the beginning for teasing him too much? How often have I spoken disparagingly about him in his presence, saying that he is a coward and the worst servant imaginable? And when I think how many times I have agreed with my father in Merlin's presence that magic is evil. When I think about it, it is a miracle that Merlin told me - me, of all people - his secret of his own free will, that he is a sorcerer and therefore an arch-enemy of Camelot and, at the same time, apparently the protector of all Camelot. Oh, Gwen, what am I going to do now?' he asked perplexed.
"Arthur, is it not obvious? Talk to Merlin, really listen to him, and ask his advice, as you always do."
"I should ask him myself?" he asked, to make sure he'd got it right.
"Why not? You always ask him for advice or he tells you his advice to your face, even if you don't want to hear it. Why would you change this now, when it affects Merlin as well?"
Arthur didn't even notice he was nodding and stopped moving. Then he nodded again, gave his wife a kiss and went in search of Merlin.