Right. We've got two episodes of Egypt to get through, plus a tour of the plane. If you were wondering if Toni got to share Chris' quarters…well, you'll see. Also, no, I don't own Hairspray, and I am referring to the 2007 movie. Remember, World Tour aired in 2010. Thanks for reviewing, OmnipotentAbsoluteUIGodzilla, AnonBrowser (the changes will all be changes Toni can affect, and the making of the teams isn't one of those things – also, she chose her teammates last season, remember), IllusionSign (please do not pester me, especially when it's only been a few days), HappyJellyBean364, iwashere01 (oops, I did, but she got a vacation to France – and the Paris jail – out of her friend's win) and lordgemini. And to the guest reviewer…I'm sorry. You might prefer my earlier fic "Total Bubbly World Tour". No win, but a much better ending.
As a side note, something I forgot to mention in the last chapter. Did you see Chris said he wanted a contract for at least ten seasons? Yeah, that's a meta reference since the creators had that same goal. Well, now they've got seven seasons (with the reboot) and two spin-offs.
We started our plane tour in the common area. Most of the contestants were still discussing the singing aspect of the season.
"I don't have a problem with it," Courtney said brightly.
"Yeah," Leshawna said, "Cause you like singing!"
"Well, I don't!" Duncan declared. "Girls sing, little birdies sing…Duncans do not sing."
"Think I'll get to beatbox?" Harold said excitedly.
"I'll beat you if you try!" Duncan told him. Now, Harold was a know-it-all, but he really was good at beatboxing.
"Why are you doing this to us?" Heather finally asked, glaring at Chris and me.
"Ratings, of course." I spoke up. "Chrissy tells me singing reality shows are big. You know, like movies turned into musicals. You must have seen Hairspray in the last three years."
"And the worse the singing, the higher the ratings," Chris added, "Which is why on this show, there will be no vocal coaches, or rehearsals, or warning!"
Most everyone else complained. I had to wonder, who had a good voice? I'd heard Courtney sing last season, so I knew that her voice was a tuneful soprano, but everyone else could go either way. It was a shame Trent joined the rescue party who lost out on the season, because I knew for a fact that he had a great voice.
The plane had a lot more to look at. After the common area with Chef's meals, there was "Economy Class", where the losing team(s) had to live between locations. It was mostly just metal benches and safety harnesses. "No comfort for losers," as Chris put it.
The winning team of the previous location, however, got to sit in a brightly lit, golden and luxurious area as "First Class". It wasn't as luxurious as a real First Class with beds and everything, but the seats were soft and you could recline pretty far, and you would get real food, facials and things like that. Sort of like Gold Class cinemas without the movie.
"Now this is the kind of accommodation ladies deserve." Alejandro commented to Lindsay.
Lindsay looked confused. "You get ladies in First Class, too?" Then she smiled and blushed. "Oh, me! You meant me!"
I was standing near DJ, who was watching them. "That guy is as smooth as Momma's gravy," he commented, frowning.
Tyler joined us, looking miserable. "Lindsay's supposed to like me."
"Nobody can compete with gravy," was DJ's reply.
I smiled at Tyler. "It's not that she's forgotten you. She kept talking about you last season. She kept forgetting you weren't on the show. She wanted Trent to pick you for the team she was on, she wanted you to pull the trailer up for your team and when Beth said something she misheard, she thought it was that you were there."
Tyler looked a little brighter, but he still decided to show off. "Lindsay, I can do a handspring!" he called, before attempting it and failing.
Lindsay looked down at him, before completely making a 180 of everything I'd said. "Omigosh, poor…um, I'm blanking on his name. Oh, oh, I know! Alejandro!"
"That's my name." Alejandro corrected her gently.
"And what a nice name," Lindsay said dreamily, "Alejandro…I could say it all day."
"Please do." Alejandro said flirtatiously. I scowled. Of course he'd get flirty with Lindsay. She was the one who looked most like a living Barbie doll. I met Heather's gaze across the room, and noticed she was scowling too. But I noticed she didn't look bitter. Her scowl was more suspicious. Suspicion that I noticed was directed at Alejandro.
"Oh, and Toni?" Chris added, distracting me from the scene. "Unless I tell you otherwise, this is your area. You'll be sharing it with the winning team."
Yeah, because heaven forbid I get to use any of Chris' facilities. His living quarters included a wood burning pizza oven and a hot tub, among other more lavish things, off-limits to everyone except him and Chef (and me if he ever invited me in).
"Oh, Chris," Sierra gushed, "I heart your limits." Yes, she did sometimes talk in email and text speak. It didn't bother me, but I could tell it annoyed some of the other contestants.
The confessional? The only aeroplane bathroom. I hated those things enough, and we'd all be using the same one. Obviously, the cameras wouldn't show anyone actually using it, but still, it wasn't exactly pleasant to chat in a tiny metal box where the air rushing past was even louder than anywhere else on the plane. That was an upside of not being a contestant – I could use the confessional occasionally if I wanted, but I didn't have to. What a downgrade from the makeup trailer!
The plane began to move just before we were shown the last room. We were back in the common area, when the plane juddered. Bridgette was almost knocked over, but Alejandro caught her. "Senorita, are you okay?"
"Is the earth moving?" Bridgette mumbled in the same dreamy voice Lindsay had used. It was faint, but we could all hear her.
"Nope, we are!" Izzy cheered. Hopefully I'd get to know her better this time around. I'd never really gotten to know Izzy all that well because she wasn't on TDA very long, but I'd always liked her. But I was more focused on what I'd just seen. Really, Alejandro had just been blatantly flirting with Lindsay. To be fair, he'd just been in the exact right position to catch Bridgette, but something was telling me he was interested in her, too. That was weird. Bridgette and Lindsay couldn't have been more different. Not to mention, of course, that Bridgette and Geoff were practically engaged last time I saw them together.
There was an elimination area just off Economy class and near the bathroom. The contestants who were staying would get barf bags full of peanuts.
"I got a peanut allergy, eh," Ezekiel spoke up, "Or…more like a sensitivity…"
"Um, Chrissy," I began, "Aren't they a bit dangerous to have around someone with an allergy?" My school had banned anyone bringing peanuts or peanut butter into school, because just being around them or someone who had just eaten them could trigger an allergic reaction. Some kids would have their bronchial tubes close up if they just got close to peanut-breath. Even if Ezekiel wasn't full-on allergic, he could have a life-threatening reaction to them. Or someone else could.
Chris ignored me, talking on about how the person who lost would have to take the "Drop of Shame".
"Okay," Ezekiel went on obliviously, "I just don't like-"
"Like this!" Chris finished, taking hold of Ezekiel and pushing him straight out the plane door. It wasn't a long drop, since Chef had only just started moving the plane, but it was kind of a tough move.
Ezekiel, however, got back up and started running towards the door again. "Good one, eh! Now slow down and let me back in!"
"All eliminations are final, bro!" Chris called back, and then the door was closed and we were in the air.
I scowled at Chris. "Um, was that what you call professional, Chrissy? There's not enough contestants to cut for the twenty-six episodes as there is, and I know elimination episodes are better received."
Chris just shrugged at me. "Look, Toni, I didn't want him. The producers don't want him. The audience doesn't want him. Even the contestants don't want him. I very much doubt you want him. Do you even remember watching him on the first season?"
I thought about it for a moment. I hadn't even remembered most of the pre-mergers' names when I first met them, and I hadn't even recognized Justin. I'd caught up on the Season 1 episodes that aired while I was away filming TDA and Ezekiel had been in the one where the old contestants accidentally voted off Leshawna, but he hadn't said much.
Still, it was enough. "I remember enough to know that he had a crush on Bridgette!" I said triumphantly. "He kept trying to get closer to her, but he was too shy to tell her outright since she was already with Geoff."
Chris shrugged. "Whatever. Anyway, he's not on this season, and you're not supposed to be partial. Besides, four of those episodes are Aftermaths. Those that aren't will be reward challenges, like last season." He gave me a little push. "Now why don't you go to the common area and talk to your friends? The producers said you're allowed to socialize, as long as you don't do it during challenges you're hosting."
So I agreed and went through. As I did, the first thing I heard was Sierra's voice. She was sitting across from Cody, staring at him adoringly.
"Cody Emmett Jameson Anderson," she said fondly, adding "I also happen to know that your birthday is April first. You're my very own April Fool." Cody didn't look flattered. More weirded out, and I couldn't blame him. He could probably do worse, looks-wise. Sierra wasn't exactly pretty, but she was unusual-looking with her long purple hair and big eyes. But she had a nice smile, lots of energy, and she seemed pretty friendly.
The second after she spoke, the sound of a bell rang through the plane.
"Whenever you hear that friendly little bell, it's musical number time!" Chris announced. "So, let's hear it."
"But…what are we supposed to sing?" Courtney asked.
"You have to make it up as you go. Wouldn't be challenging otherwise, now would it?"
You wouldn't believe the group could do it, could you? But they made up a song about…having to sing while flying in an unsafe plane. Chris made me attack Owen with the frying pan again when he screamed about stopping the plane. It probably hadn't helped that seconds before that, Noah had been singing a deadpan "Come fly with us, come die with us."
Duncan and Gwen were refusing to join in, though. But Chris passed me a few sheets of paper and I read from it. "Sorry, guys," I said, "But the Season 3 rules say that if given the chance, in order to escape instant elimination-"
Bridgette took the list of rules from me and sang the line. "All contestants must sing in each show!"
Courtney nudged her boyfriend. "Duncan, do it! Let's go!"
Cody clasped his hands in hope. "Gwen, sing it – don't go!"
"I don't want to go home…" Gwen admitted. Her voice was raspy, but it was in tune as she sang "Come fly with us, come fly with us!
Come and fly, with us!"
"Duncan, come on!" Courtney said more coaxingly. "Please?"
I gave him a pleading look, too. I was hoping we could goof off a few times together, too. Duncan paused, but finally, he sang "This suuucks!"
"Yeah!" The whole cast chorused, waving jazz hands.
It wasn't a bad song, but Chef clearly thought different, as the intercom crackled to life. "Enough singing, fruitcakes! Strap yourselves in. We are now beginning our descent into Egypt." His voice was lowered as he continued to mutter to himself "Musical numbers, worst idea ever. Chris is such an idi – hey, why's the PA light still on? Oh, shi-" The intercom cut off before he could finish cursing.
So we'd reached our first destination. Egypt. I wouldn't be hosting here, but we would decide the teams, and there would be a challenge.
Toni still has a lot to learn, but hey, she's got the whole season to finetune her skills. By the way, about peanut allergies – yes, just someone who ate peanuts breathing on them can cause them to have an allergic reaction. I once worked at a childcare centre as a relief worker. On my first day, I had a boiled egg for breakfast, and I was only told on the day to stay away from one child because he was allergic to eggs and I could give him a reaction if I accidentally breathed on him. I was sure to eat fruit for breakfast for the rest of the week (never work at a childcare centre in winter unless you want a virus – I was sick on a flight to Honolulu two weeks after I started there because of that – of course, once I got there, all my symptoms cleared up). Also, notice the rules say "If given the chance". Contestants only have to sing if they are given the chance to. If they never get the chance to put a lyric in, they stay in. That explains away the plothole about non-singers somewhat.