Chapter Notes: Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed so far!

It didn't take long for that 'not quite friends' label to lose the 'not quite' part.

Spike was absent for a few weeks after our fight. I have to admit, after a few days of radio silence I thought he'd left town again despite what he'd said about having no one else other than me. And though I didn't want to face it at the time, it kinda hurt. Like, he said I was the closest thing he had to a friend but then the second I started laying down the law he was gone, because I apparently wasn't worth the effort of trying not to kill people. I mean, it wouldn't be surprising that he'd figured out he could just move to a new town and actually make himself friends by turning the people he snacked on, but it still hurt all the same.

The stupid fear demon I faced a week after the fact definitely took advantage of this. "Everyone will leave you. Even your mortal enemy left you," it had said. Stomping it like a bug had felt extra satisfying after that comment.

After an incident with beer turning students into cave people and one girl using this to her advantage to take revenge on Parker (having to be the bigger person and save stupid jerks like him was definitely one of the downsides of my job), I felt like I was moving past the sting of Spike skipping town. So what if he decided he could literally make better friends than me? I didn't need him. I had friends already, and none of them had ever tried to kill me or had a century's worth of blood on their hands.

Remember when I said that Spike always came back? I should add that he always seemed to at the most inconvenient times. Like when I was finally getting over him ditching me.

I'd just turned a vampire to dust when he suddenly popped up out of freaking nowhere, and I almost instinctively went to stake him too before realising who it was and stopping myself. And fine, Giles will have a cow (a whole heard of them) if he ever finds out I hesitated to stake Spike, but whatever, he can't complain now. Not that it would've worked anyway, since he was still wearing the ring.

"Spike?" Instead of sounding angry and irritated, I just sounded confused. "I thought you'd skipped town."

"Was laying low while I figured some stuff out," he said. "But we'll talk later, Slayer. Right now, we've gotta go. I'm being followed."

"Followed?"

He jerked his head up the hill behind him, towards some bushes. "There're some blokes following me. Have been for some time now."

It was the fact that he'd said 'blokes' and not 'demons' or 'vampires' that caught my attention. Because that meant regular guys. "Are you seriously afraid of some humans?"

But then I actually noticed how he was standing and I realised he looked jumpy. Like he was ready to take off at any moment, and like he wanted to keep looking over his shoulder every second. "I've been hearing stories, Slayer. Word on the street is there're some commando types running around capturing demons. Not killing us. Capturing us. Doesn't sound good, if you ask me."

At that point in my slaying career, what happened to demons hadn't been much of a concern for me. If they did something evil, I slayed them. If they kept their heads low and stayed out of my way, I let them. I didn't care about what else might've been happening to them so long as they weren't trying to end the world or doing anything else slay-worthy. But even with that said, the idea of people capturing them instead of just killing them… I knew something wasn't right.

"Patrols have been unusually quiet for this time of year," I said aloud both to him and to myself. Because while I had noticed that fact in the few weeks leading up to that moment, I hadn't really thought about why and whether there was something bigger going on. I guess I just figured that with the Mayor gone, demons realised they didn't have free reign over the town anymore and moved to eviler pastures.

"But it's not just the vampires and the demons you'll usually find yourself slaying," Spike continued. "They're nabbing the peaceful lot, as well. I spoke with some loose-skinned demons the other night, and they're beside themselves with fear."

And hearing that cranked up my worry metre. Giles had told me about the few breeds of demons I shouldn't bother because they didn't cause trouble. Whoever these commandos were, they didn't care about what demons were good or evil, meaning that they weren't your run-of-the-mill demons hunters. Even hunters knew the difference.

Before I could question him on what else he knew, or even question why he'd disappeared on me and if he was going to behave if he was staying in Sunnydale, he tensed up. Every inch of him went on alert, which put me on the defensive, as well. I didn't get the chance to ask what he'd heard or smelt or whatever before he faked a casual stride to my side. Barely a few seconds later someone was walking up to us, and that someone was Riley Finn, the TA from Psych 101.

"Hey, Buffy," he greeted me, and while his smile seemed genuine it also looked a little strained, like he was trying to hide something. "Why are you out so late?"

When I'd first met Riley Finn, my initial impression of him (after I'd apologised for dropping a bunch of books on his head) was that he was kinda cute, in that clean-cut All-American way. I thought he looked like the kind of guy you could bring home to your parents in order to show them that you were totally being responsible at college and definitely thinking about your future.

But the longer I knew him, the more I realised that his "All-American" charm came with some stupid 1950s attitudes towards women. I mean, he didn't expect me to stay in the kitchen and not have a job or anything, but he was sure as hell condescending when he thought he knew better than me.

"I'm a student," I told him. "I'm pretty sure staying out late is, like, one of the ten commandments of being one."

I had that snippy tone I normally used while slaying, something which Spike definitely noticed judging by his snicker. Riley turned to him and I saw the anger in his eyes. It looked like he wanted to grab Spike by the collar and drag him away. "Is this guy bothering you?"

It was a good thing I turned to look at Spike or else I would've missed his signal. He rubbed his nose with his index finger and tilted his head ever so slightly towards Riley, and even though we'd never ever agreed on signals or anything I knew what he was telling me. Riley was one of the commandos following him. And the impact of this revelation was nothing compared to the realisation that he was trying to separate me from Spike so they could capture him.

On the one hand, I understood why. From Riley's point of view, I was an innocent freshman who was close to becoming a vampire's next meal. But on the other hand, the thought of Spike getting carted away to an uncertain fate made me both terrified and kinda angry. Because if anyone was gonna be beating up Spike, that person was gonna be me. And I knew that Spike could probably hold his own against a bunch of regular humans – especially while wearing the gem – but then he'd seemed pretty spooked when he came to me, and I didn't want to leave it to chance and risk losing him.

So, I put on my best valley girl smile and said, "Spike? No, he's a friend from high school. Totally not bothering me."

"I've been away for a while. Just got back," said Spike casually. "Buffy and I made plans for a night out. Dance in the dark. Grab a bite to eat."

His grin looked innocent enough, but underneath the politeness was the hungry wolf lying in wait. Spike made it look like he was trying to hide it when he was really displaying it for Riley to see.

Because of what Spike had signalled, I was on the lookout for any signs or signals Riley might make. So, I noticed the subtle signs of panic set in; the way his eyes widened ever so slightly, and the twitch in his hand as if he wanted to reach for a weapon. Things I probably wouldn't have noticed at all if I'd just thought he was a regular Joe Normal.

"Buffy's a good student," he said. "She doesn't need that kind of influence."

"And what right do you have, telling her what to do?" Spike said back, and I was totally on his side. Riley didn't have any right butting into my life. "If she wants to have a wild night out with the Big Bad, that's her decision to make. And if it ends with us in bed and me gobbling her up-"

"Spike!" I forced a laugh out of me (that probably hadn't been so forced, thinking back on it) and took a step forwards, because Riley looked seconds away from punching the vampire's lights out and I really didn't want to reveal myself as the Slayer. "Don't get ahead of yourself, mister."

I gave him a hard look, one that screamed 'are you trying to get him to stake you?', and that was when I saw the playful glint in his eyes. He was messing with Riley. Commando Joe had no idea I knew about vampires (and could totally take them in a fight) and was trying to save me from one, without letting me know that was what he was saving me from. And Spike was being an ass by giving him reasons to panic, only Riley couldn't let that panic show which was just making him even more stressed out.

There was a small part of me that was a little bit sympathetic for Riley because, again, he thought I was just a girl who needed saving from the Big Bad Vampire. But that part was buried under how sick I already was of his condescending attitude and the fact that he and his buddies were nabbing peaceful demons too, not just the ones that needed staking, and that couldn't have been of the good no matter what angle I looked at it.

Spike must have seen the shift in me, because he just grinned and said, "Don't get ahead of myself, you say? Those words might have some meaning if I hadn't gotten you all hot and bothered when we met up just a few weeks ago."

We both knew why I was 'hot and bothered' but Riley didn't, and his face was turning a shade of red that was actually pretty funny. "Seriously, Spike. Don't be a pig in front of my TA."

"Well, if your TA could do me a favour and bugger off, then I can have you all to myself," said Spike with a seductive grin.

And before you think this was where we became lovers, sorry to disappoint you. That part came later. Although if you asked me back then if his grin and his low voice with that British accent did things to me, I would've said 'no', but it would've been a lie.

Spike's eyes flickered briefly towards Riley before he added, "We don't even need to go out, luv. I could taste you right now."

I guess that was Riley's limit, because he was suddenly in between us with his fists clenched. And yeah, I totally know what you're thinking; in another reality in which Spike wasn't a vampire, this behaviour would be really inappropriate. It was the first clue I got that Riley had a thing for me instead of just seeing me as one of his students, but I didn't realise that until later.

"Alright, that's enough! I'm breaking this up," he said and turned to me. "Buffy, I'm walking you home. This guy is bad news."

He tried to grab my arm (yes, not my hand, my arm) and I stepped away from him. "What is your malfunction? I'm not a child!"

"It's dangerous for you out here!"

"But not for you?" I asked. "Is that it? You think girls can't take care of themselves but guys can?"

"Well, yeah."

Say hello to the casual sexism I had to deal with back then. And it wasn't about the fact that there were demons creeping around that could take a bite out of an unsuspecting girl, because guys fell victim to that, too. This was something he genuinely believed without even counting demons into the equation; like it was as much of a fact of life as the sky being blue.

I didn't know what to say to that – but Spike did.

He was suddenly by my side and that playfulness was gone, replaced with dead seriousness. His voice hard as stone, he said, "Apologise."

Riley frowned. "What? What for?"

"For insulting her abilities, her intelligence and her gender with that baseless assumption. Honestly, how do blokes like you think you can get laid when you offend every woman around you with that kind of attitude?"

"Excuse me?" Riley looked like he could barely believe what he was hearing. "I'm concerned about her-"

"And you shouldn't be," said Spike. "I've known Buffy for years, and she's kicked my arse so many times I've lost count. And they were truly spectacular arse-kickings, at that. She may not look like much, but if you and her ever get in a fight, she'll dominate you without breaking a sweat. So, I suggest you apologise to her before I stand aside and let her turn you into a splatter on the pavement."

Another thing you should know about Spike: he has a way with words. A way that gives me warm tingly feelings whenever he feels like talking about how magnificent I am.

In that moment I wanted to grab him, stick him on a podium and demand that people come and listen to him talk about how awesome I was. The bubbly feeling inside me was happiness, I realised, and it had been so long since I'd actually felt happy that I wanted to laugh out loud.

Unfortunately, the sad part about Spike's speech was that Riley wasn't taking it seriously. He just looked so disbelieved that he was being spoken to in that way – and also looked a bit smug, like he was thinking he could so take me in a fight and maybe even take Spike too. Yeah, right. I was so tempted to floor him with a single punch, but I didn't want his commando buddies to swarm us, so I refrained.

"He's not kidding, Riley," I told him instead. "I've been taking martial arts since I was fifteen. And seriously, you're being really inappropriate right now, so how about you leave us alone before I report you for harassment?"

"But Buffy-"

"Unless you're going to apologise to me, I suggest you stop talking." And with that, I took Spike's hand and dragged him away. Luckily, Riley didn't move to follow, but I had a feeling he was going to go back to his buddies and try a different tactic. The kind that would've probably had us fighting for our lives. When I felt we'd walked far enough away from Riley that he wouldn't be able to hear me, I whispered to Spike, "When we're out of sight, we run."

"Where?"

"Giles's. We need to tell him what's going on."

"Right."

The second we turned a corner, we bolted.

We didn't stop running until we reached Giles's street. I was certain that the commandos wouldn't be able to track us, and they definitely weren't fast enough to catch up anytime soon. It was safe for us to continue walking to my Watcher's at a leisurely pace.

It was Spike who cut through the silence. "So, you wanna mess with Captain Condescending a bit more?"

I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling all the same. "Haven't we messed with him enough for tonight?"

"After what he said to you, I'd have thought you'd be all for it. And not tonight. I was thinking we find him on your campus tomorrow. You go over to him first so he gets all relieved to see you alive, and then I show up behind you. He knows I'm a vamp, must know enough about us to know our weaknesses. It'll blow his corn-fed mind, seeing me in daylight."

It was hard not to laugh, and the thought of getting back at him after what he said was really tempting. But as a Slayer, it always pays to be cautious, and poking a bear or a hornet's nest (or whatever that analogy is) is never a good idea, no matter how fun.

"What if they think you're some kind of super vamp who can go out in the day? They might want to capture you even more."

"Or they'll think the equipment they're no doubt using to track demons was malfunctioning."

That, I realised, was a more logical explanation, meaning it would be one that military types would most likely latch onto. "I'll think about it. After we talk to Giles."

And it was at that point that I realised I had no idea how I was gonna explain Spike to my Watcher. Lying and saying he totally had a soul now probably wouldn't have gone down well.

"Um…" I started talking without really knowing what I was going to say, but while Spike turned to me, he waited patiently for me to finish my sentence. "Giles is totally gonna give me the third degree if we both show up on his doorstep like we're buddies. Or he'll skip the third degree and jump straight to pointing a crossbow at you while trying to see if there're bite marks on my neck. So, about what I told you…"

"That's what I was figuring out," said Spike. "What you said. Thought I'd give it a trial run. Turns out a bloke at the hospital is willing to hand over close to outdated blood if it means I can help decrease the number of neck trauma patients they get every night."

I nearly stumbled when his words registered. He was staying in Sunnydale. And not only was he staying, he was going to stop killing people and go on a bagged diet. All because I asked him to. I was enough for someone.

I asked a vampire to stay, and he did. And this one didn't even have a soul.

It was kinda hard to make the same old 'soul vs. no soul' argument after that.

"Spike… That's…"

"I have my limits, though," he added. "If some bloke comes at me with an intention to hurt, I'm gonna defend myself. Even if that means I have to kill him."

"In the real world, the term 'minimum force' exists."

"And if I have no other choice? What if it's his life or mine? Or I'm defending your mum or one of your mates and it's his life or theirs?"

Even now I don't like to think about scenarios like that, but then killing in self-defence is technically legal. I couldn't exactly tell him 'no' when I would do the same, as much as I would hate to. "That's fair. But that should only be a last resort."

"So… killing a bloke for having tragic fashion sense is off the table?"

I knew he was only joking and gave him a playful shove. "Says the guy who's permanently stuck in the eighties. Seriously, the Billy Idol look was so last season."

"Hey! That wanker stole his look from me!"

"Well, if you think that fact can convince Giles you're not here to kill me or anyone else, feel free to complain about it all night."

It did not, in fact, convince Giles that he wasn't here to kill me or anyone else. Honestly, I think the only reason my Watcher didn't try and actively stake Spike was because he was way more concerned about the commandos and what they were doing with the demons they captured. Like, concerned enough that he was willing to phone up the Council, the guys who fired him, and request that they investigate the matter immediately.

But now that I think about it, telling him about the previous truce I had with Spike and how that was probably the only reason he and the rest of the world was still here probably had more to do with the no stake-age.

Even though we managed to get out of my Watcher's place with nothing more than a run-of-the-mill staking threat following us out, it didn't fill me with much confidence that the rest of the gang would take Spike being around any better. And by 'gang' I meant my friends, because Mom and Dawn welcomed him into their home with open arms and even let him stay there for the foreseeable future, which Spike happily accepted probably because he knew it would piss me off but also because he actually liked my family for some bizarre reason that only made sense in bizarro world. I was more in favour of letting him find a cosy little crypt to stay in or something, but Mom did have a point when she said that they couldn't leave him at the mercy of the commandos (ignoring my argument that Spike was a big vamp who could take care of himself). And in the end, I caved, because having Spike there meant that my family had some kind of protection. While Mom knew not to let anyone in after dark, Dawn had developed the 'I know better than everyone else' bratty kid attitude that just made her dumber and more likely to let a vampire inside the house, especially if someone told her not to.

Trying to tell my friends about Spike took a backseat when some werewolf chick named Verruca (and who names their kid after a scab you get on your foot?) slept with Oz and tried to eat Willow, leading to Oz having to kill his one-night-stand before deciding he was too dangerous to be around and leaving town. To say that Willow didn't take it well would be an understatement. Around her I was a sympathetic shoulder for her to cry on, but whenever I met up with Spike in order to patrol I ranted and raved, letting out all my pent-up emotions about men thinking that leaving their girlfriends behind because it was 'too dangerous to be with them' somehow solved their problems when it just made the pain worse.

Spike commented more on the Angel parts of my rants rather than the Oz parts, which on the one hand made sense because he always jumped at the opportunity to insult his Grandsire, but on the other hand it made me worry that he was only sticking around for me and not my friends, and there was a chance he wouldn't lift a finger for them if they needed help. He proved me wrong a week after Oz left when he found Willow wandering aimlessly in the dark while I'd gone to meet up with Giles.

I hadn't told Willow about Spike being back, but I had told her about our encounter outside of the high school, so her opinion of him had softened if only slightly. It meant that she didn't scream for help upon seeing him, but then she'd still been really heartbroken over Oz so was probably more focussed on that rather than Spike being back. Not that her lack of screaming made a difference to the commandos, who saw Spike leading Willow into her dorm room and decided to try and take him.

Spike and I had gone through with our plan to mess with Riley a bit more the day after our encounter with him, which had, admittedly, been fun. The look on Riley's face when he'd seen Spike walking in the sunlight had been worth the price of admission into college, which as my mom can tell you, was a lot. But if Riley had been convinced in that moment that Spike was human, it clearly hadn't stuck, hence the trying to break into my dorm and kidnap him. It turned out that while the Gem of Amara protected Spike from the stuff that usually killed vamps, it didn't protect him from things that could knock him out or just hurt him. A punch, he said afterwards, still hurt like any normal punch would.

It was lucky I got there in time, or else both he and Willow would have been taken.

The fact that Spike had been trying to defend Willow helped Xander accept that he'd joined our team, even if that acceptance was only the begrudging kind. His attitude towards Spike forced me to notice for the first time how bigoted he could be towards demons – which was funny, since he'd at that time been dating an ex-demon. And while part of me understood why because Spike had tried to kill us and Angel had tried to kill us and a vampire had killed his best friend, another part of me wanted to scream at him that heroes were the kind of people who were supposed to be about forgiveness and giving people second chances, not carrying a grudge to the grave. I remember being hit with a scary thought that if he didn't change, I could be forced to choose between the two of them; pick one friend over another.

After Thanksgiving, I was tempted to actually make that choice when I discovered that Angel had been stalking me behind my back and Giles, Willow and Xander had kept it a secret. While Spike had told me the second he found out.

"Why would he do this to me?!" I'd yelled later, when I was in my own home and pacing the length of the basement. Mom and Dawn had travelled to my aunt's for Thanksgiving, so the house was empty apart from Spike, who was stretched out on the cot in the basement like some sort of cat. "And how did he manage to convince my friends, who all pretty much hate him, to not tell me?"

"He's a manipulator, pet. It's what he does," said Spike. "He convinces people that his best interests are their best interests."

It wouldn't be until later that night, while I was lying in bed, that his words would come back to me and I would apply them to what Angel had said while breaking up with me. He'd explained it would better for me to find someone normal, but my life as the Slayer isn't normal and never will be. In fact, he'd made a point of telling me when I was sixteen that dating an average guy would get him killed. But when dating someone normal benefitted him, by keeping me unsatisfied and always tied to him even when he couldn't have me? Suddenly it was the greatest idea ever, and he'd managed to convince me of that, too.

But when I was still in that basement, I stopped pacing and said, "And the stalking?"

"He thinks you're his property. Same reason he turned Dru."

I wanted to punch a hole in the wall, but then Mom would be angry. Instead, I sighed to calm myself down and said, "I'm going to see my father this weekend in LA. Before I do, I'm gonna march right into his office and tell him he had no right to do that to me; to treat me like I'm some hysterical screaming kid who could burst into tears at the sight of her ex."

"And if you do that, you'll be playing right into his hands," said Spike. "Slayer, he tried to teach me everything he knew. I know how he operates, and this is part of his game. He may have a sodding soul now, but he's still the same wanker he always was. He wants you to come to him and yell at him because then you'll be thinking of him instead of moving on. And if you keep falling into his manipulations, he'll keep doing it for as long as you bloody live."

It was, unfortunately, the only explanation that made sense. "He'll also keep doing it if I ignore him and let him walk all over me."

"I suppose you've got a point there, pet." I watched him sit himself upright before he continued. "Here's a suggestion: you give him a call. But you call him when you know he'll either be out or asleep, so then you can just leave a message on his phone. That way he can't interrupt you with his half-baked explanations that only make sense in his own twisted head. You can be as polite as you want or you can scream bloody murder down the phone, but you tell him to shove it and that you don't want him coming around here again. You don't have to do this, of course. It's only a suggestion. But it might be better than going to him and letting him have a crack at convincing you his stalking act was actually in your best interests."

And because Spike was only suggesting it and not ordering me to do it, I followed his advice and called Angel, leaving a message on his answering machine. He had a point in that actually seeing Angel would probably lead to more manipulation, because deep down I knew that one look at those big brown eyes would make my heart melt like I was sixteen years old again.

The message ended up including a lot more colourful language than what I'd planned. Because when I started voicing my frustrations and anger without him there to interrupt me or give me that kicked puppy look, I found that I couldn't stop. I unloaded everything; how he always treated me like a child, how he always needed to make the big important decisions in our relationship and acted like I couldn't make them despite the fact that I was the goddamn Slayer and had to make important decisions all the time, how my opinions were always inferior to his, how he thought he could call what we had love when I apparently wasn't enough to make him stay and he only made me happy like 2% of the time when love should make people happy all the time…

When I finally slammed the phone down, tears were streaming down my face and I was struggling to breathe. And that final point I made before hanging up really hit me then, because love shouldn't make me feel as miserable as I felt in that moment. It shouldn't create a constant desire to curl up in a ball and cry for a week.

That was how Angel made me feel in one evening. And the evening before that, Spike had made me laugh so hard I actually didn't notice a rising vampire and tripped over his head. (Spike had been the one to rip the same head off while I was rolling around in the dirt in hysterics.)

The vampire with a soul could turn me into a miserable wreck, while the vampire without a soul made me happy to be alive. And with that realisation, I knew it was over.

That was the day I finally had enough; where I made the actual first step towards moving on.

But my relationship drama didn't end there, even with Angel out of the picture. After Willow discovered that Oz had sent for his stuff by finding his room empty, Spike suggested I give her a girl's night while he handled patrol. Which had been a good shout, since she'd been planning on trying a spell that would have (potentially) taken her pain away, something I managed to talk her out of. It was after that, when we were deep in the long-held heartbreak tradition of stuffing ourselves with ice cream while listening to break-up songs, that Willow told me about Riley.

Namely, how he'd been seeking her out to ask about me; my likes, dislikes, favourite flowers, favourite food, stuff like that, because he wanted to ask me out on a date.

Now, when I heard this, my first thought had been 'that explained the awkward attempt to ask me out on a picnic'. And that thought was quickly followed up by 'why would I go out with him when he basically insulted me to my face?' You'd think that Willow with her feminism kick would totally be against him after what he said to me, but she figured he'd just been panicking because he was trying to get me away from Spike.

I knew she'd put a lot of thought into Riley and I together, because she had an answer for everything. He was capturing peaceful demons alongside the harmful ones? He and his buddies were probably new to the monster hunting business and didn't know the difference, and I could totally show him the light by dating him. I'd dated "someone from work" before and it didn't end well? That wasn't why Angel and I imploded, and with Riley I could have a balance of normal and not-normal, because he was a human I could marry and have kids with. A human who could handle himself in a fight.

And while she'd made a good point with the whole Angel thing, I had a feeling that Riley could only handle the demon hunting because he had backup. Like, an entire squad kind of backup. Not to mention that 'he's normal and has a pulse' wasn't exactly the best reason to start dating someone.

Something I also realised was that there was a good chance Riley wasn't actually interested in me and was only trying to date me to get to Spike. Because, remember, he and his buddies attacked my dorm room after Spike had gone inside with Willow. Unless they thought it was another vampire (which would be literally impossible, because have you seen Spike's hair?) then they were definitely on the 'Spike is a special day-walking vampire' track. I don't think anyone would've blamed me for suspecting they were trying to get to him through me.

It wasn't until after an incident where we all lost our voices for two days that I realised he did actually want to date me because he liked me. Not that it endeared me to him.

He saw me in battle while fighting the Gentlemen, the demons that took our voices, so got it in his head that since I was a demon hunter and he was a demon hunter, that meant we were totally meant for each other. And he decided that following me around and harassing me while I was in the middle of dealing with an apocalypse was the best way to convince me that we were soulmates. Oh, and he also called me stupid for not seeing it his way and telling him 'no'. Real dreamboat there.

You're probably wondering why I'm going into detail about this other guy when the story's supposed to be about me and Spike. Trust me, I'm going somewhere with this.

See, Willow also managed to convince Xander to climb aboard the 'Buffy Must Date Riley' train, so I was being pestered by them, too. And it was starting to wear me down. I almost wanted to start dating him just to get them all to shut up and leave me alone, and the idea of teaming up with a guy to fight demons who I could also lead a semi-normal life with… Well, I wouldn't say it was tempting, but the open door was right there. Throw in the fact that he was someone I could bring home to Mom without judgement, and I should've had every reason to give him a chance.

But something in my gut warned me not to.

Spike hadn't jumped aboard Willow's Team Riley train for obvious reasons, but he hadn't been pestering me with an opposite point of view. And I found that I wanted to hear it. He'd been a good listener and a good advice-giver in the weeks since we'd first teamed up, something I was coming to rely on. Sometimes I forget or take for granted just how easily we became friends once we put our differences aside. It was like something clicked; something important.

Unlike Willow and Xander, who I think were too in love with the idea of me dating someone who was Angel's opposite (and that being Riley's only appeal), I knew Spike would tell it to me straight.

So, the night after we saved the world (again), when he and I were patrolling one of the cemeteries, I asked, "What do you think I should do about Riley? Everyone around me is screaming at me to go for it, and it's making me feel like an idiot for ignoring them. Am I missing something? Am I supposed to wear my 3D glasses in order to see what everyone else sees in him?"

"You're not an idiot, pet," said Spike. "Personally, I think your mates need to remove their rose-coloured glasses. At the end of the day, you're the one who'll be dating him, so you're the one who has to make the choice. I know they're your mates, and they're allowed to have opinions, but you shouldn't let them force you into something you don't want."

"And what's your opinion?"

"I think you need to slap the tosser with a restraining order, but it's not about me. It's about you." He gave me that little head tilt I was starting to love about him. "So, what are those Slayer instincts telling you to do?"

It was easy to push away the comments made by my friends and focus instead on instincts that had not just kept me alive, but had served all the Slayers that had come before me. And those instincts were giving me one message, loud and clear. "To stay far, far away from Riley Finn."

"And those instincts have never steered you wrong," he said. "If you want my advice, listen to them instead of a couple of teenagers who haven't had the best track record when it comes to relationships."

He was right, of course. Xander alone could fill up a whole book when it came to making bad relationship choices, and though Willow wasn't nearly as bad she wasn't exactly squeaky clean, either. And something I realised later, when I gave them both my final word on the matter and kindly asked them to drop the Riley hints, was that my Slayer instincts had also tried to warn me away from Angel. Only my sixteen-year-old heart had ignored them, and the end result was a lot of dead bodies, including the woman my Watcher had loved.

So yeah, I listened to my instincts. And in hindsight, it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Because while Riley and I didn't date, him tattling on me to Professor Walsh, my Psych 101 teacher and the head honcho of their operation (creatively titled The Initiative), meant that I had to work with him and his buddies. And let me tell you, that guy had serious insecurities when it came to his manhood.

Once in a sparring session, he kept telling me not to hold back because he could totally take it. I ended up punching him across the room, and after assuring me over and over that he was fine, I could see the resentment in his eyes. After that he kept pushing himself to be better, like he couldn't stand the idea that a girl was stronger than him. I quickly lost count of the number of times I had to save his ass because he kept blinding throwing himself into danger, and every single time he yelled at me for doing so.

Spike, at least, managed to cheer me up with his comments on the matter.

"He's got a small handle, if you know what I mean," he told me one night after I managed to sneak away from the hunting party to patrol and hang out with him instead. "Don't take it personally, pet. Any man who thinks their manhood is being threatened by a strong woman doesn't have much in the way of manhood to begin with."

And it wasn't just Riley who was feeling threatened by me. Professor Walsh really didn't like how I could name every individual demon (Giles would've been so proud) and pick out the harmless ones. She tried to act all high and mighty by talking to me in a condescending tone, explaining how they were all called HSTs and that they were there for scientific purposes because there was no place for them in our world.

Maybe I went too far by calling her a Nazi, but I was mad and that was what Spike had called her, and he technically wasn't wrong. She was treating demons like objects instead of sentient beings and it was sick. Not even the evil ones deserved that. Walsh then sent me away and acted like I was a child who didn't understand the world, but I just laughed on my way out. And I took some comfort in the fact that some of the commandos who had been listening, including Riley, looked conflicted by what I'd said.

I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise when after I saved Giles from being captured by them (after he got turned into a Fyral demon, long story), Walsh finally had enough and tried to kill me. She failed pretty spectacularly, and Riley at least had enough sense to ditch her after witnessing what had happened. The whole incident ended with us being down one Dr. Frankenstein but up one Frankenstein's monster, who after murdering Walsh decided he was gonna be our new Big Bad for the year.

And right when we were asking ourselves 'how could this possible get any worse?', Faith decided to wake up from her coma.

I'll be honest, I don't really like talking about this part of the story. Faith and I are basically a living thesis on why having two Slayers active at the same time is a bad idea, and while these days she and I are on speaking terms and can be civil when we're in the same room, it's better for her to stay in Cleveland while I stay here in Sunnydale. But this part is also important because it was when I realised that Spike did actually care about me as a friend and wasn't just sticking around only because he had no one else.

For starters, he was able to hold Faith off when she attacked the house and tried to go after Mom and Dawn. She got really lucky in that fight, because even when I showed up to join in, she was still able to pull a switcharoo and swap bodies with me.

The rest of the story I got second-hand, but from what the guys told me it didn't take Spike very long to figure out that something was wrong with "me" and while Faith could fool the Scoobies, she couldn't fool the vampire who'd spent most of the previous few years studying my every movement. He was able to confirm his suspicions with help from Willow and her new witch friend Tara, and then it was a race against time to rescue me from the Watchers Council's wet works team and stop Faith from skipping town in my body. Spike showed up while I was in the middle of my own escape attempt, and Faith and I managed to switch bodies back just fine, but not soon enough. I found out very quickly that Faith, the bitch, had slept with Riley while posing as me.

And then Riley decided to be an ass and acted like he was entitled to me because he'd slept with my body. I broke his nose for that.

It took time to come to terms with the violation against my body. But that first night after it happened – after I went back home instead of to the dorms and stood in the shower until the water ran cold, scrubbing myself over and over to get rid of any trace of Riley – Spike was there for me. I didn't know why, but the thought of sleeping on my own left me struggling to breathe; like my body was afraid it was going to be stolen again for another round of violation.

So, I made my way down to the basement and Spike was there on the cot, still awake.

"You alright, Buffy?" he asked.

I can't remember when he started using my name, but it was the first time I noticed. And I decided that I liked the way my name sounded coming from his lips.

It took me a few moments for me to ask him what I wanted. "Can you… can you just… hold me?"

That look of surprise that was both gentle and vulnerable will forever be burned in my brain, and I wouldn't have it any other way. He nodded and opened his arms up for me. I made my way over to him, laid down and rested my head on his chest. His arms gently encircled me, and I felt safe.

I didn't know it then, but it was the first step towards becoming more than friends.