Here's the next chapter everyone! Sorry for any spelling mistakes or missing words... I've got no Beta and I edit this myself.
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Except for my OC of course ;P
[Game Saved]
[HP- 100/100]
[SP- 100/100]
I leaned over the side of my cot and puked.
Stomach bile splattered across the concrete, assaulting my nostrils with its acrid stench. The smell was so strong it triggered my gag reflex, causing my stomach to heave and my throat to clench once again. At that moment, I was too busy quivering in shock to be thankful I hadn't eaten enough food to produce actual vomit… (Small mercies)
[HP- 90/100 (-10 for panic attack)]
[SP- 90/100 (-10 for panic attack)]
"Sis!", "Big sis!", "Are you okay?!", "Christina!", "What's going on?!", "Is she okay?"
The sounds of concern were too much for my frazzled nerves.
[Main Menu]
[Quest Log*] - [Stats] - [Relationships*] - [Load Save]
All my senses cut-off.
Right.
Okay.
The world was paused; I could freak out for as long as I needed now.
Immediately, a sob ripped itself from my throat. The shock, the pain, the screams, the blood, the panic, it all flooded my mind and looped over and OvEr and OVER again!
"Oh my god… oh my god… Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD!" I curled into the foetal position and cried into my knees. "This isn't happening! It's all in my head! IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD!"
But it wasn't in my head.
This was really happening.
Time stood still as I sobbed my heart out. My entire world was consumed with denial, guilt, horror, shock, fear, and confusion. I had no idea what to do. I had no idea how to fix this. Mainly because there was nothing to fix. What had happened… what was going to happen… had been out of my control.
What HYDRA wanted, HYRDA got.
The deaths of my fellow prisoners were no different.
How was I supposed to go against that?! HOW could I survive the WINTER SOLDIER!?
…It was all so unfair.
Here I was, not three full days into my second life and already it seemed to be over. That HYDRA guy had just waltzed into our cell and ordered the deaths of TWENTY CHILDREN! like it was nothing. To him, it was probably any other Sunday. Such was the life and times of a HYDRA operative.
But to me, it was the literal end of my life!
"F* K!" I screamed, "F* k! F* k! F*** K!"
It. Was. Not. Fair.
"Calm down, Chrissy," my inner voice soothed, "Crying like a baby never got you anywhere. Think logically."
Think logically?!
I could think logically…. Right? RIGHT!?
My inner self nodded firmly, "You can. Start with the 5 W's. Who, What, When, Where, Why."
"Who, what, when, where, and why," I repeated.
Alright… Okay… I could do that. Why couldn't I do that?
"Push it down and F.O.C.U.S. Chrissy."
Sniffing pathetically, I tried to force my scattered thoughts to convene.
The WHO of this situation was the un-named HYDRA guy and 'Sebastian Stan' as James "Bucky" Barnes/ The WINTER SOLDIER(!?). To move forward, I needed to know the name of the HYDRA… Commander? Scientist? Lackey? Whatever.
That. Guy. was the one who'd started all this so surely, he would be the key to surviving it too.
… right? He had to be… He simply Had to be!
"Focus. You're doing great."
The WHAT was a little trickier. It could be referring to the monstrous version of Hide&Seek we were forced to play. Or it could be asking what the objective, the goal, of having us play "Hide&Seek" was. Because surely HYDRA hadn't gone through all the trouble of kidnapping us, housing us, and feeding us, only to kill us in the end?
That was a waste of resources.
No, they had taken us for a reason and finding out what that was would be the key to answering the 'What' question.
As for WHEN… Well, that was rather obvious. -Midday.
The WHERE referred to whichever HYDRA Base we were currently being held in. My money was on the Siberian Base, specifically the one seen in Captain America: Civil War. It made the most sense in my mind. There were the cold temperatures, the WW2 era architecture and equipment, the uniforms of Igor and Ivan (Camo gear, red berets, Hydra symbol), the Russian Language, and the appearance of the WINTER SOLDIER!?
My breath hitched. A fresh wail escaped my lips.
"Keep going! You're nearly there, Chrissy!"
…All these factors added up to somewhere in/or close to Russia, if not Russia herself.
However, the only facility that was shown in the films to be capable of housing the cryogenically frozen… winter soldiers …was the Siberia Base. Therefore, that was the most likely location of our current whereabouts.
Siberia.
WHY could be referring to many questions. Such as: Why us? Why now? Why Hide&Seek? Why use the W.I.N.T.E.R. S.O.L.D.I.E.R!
Why? Why? WHY!?
I didn't know and that shook me to my core.
My breathing picked up, followed by a fresh wave of tears. They washed down my cheeks, joined the snot leaking from my nose and dribbled down the underside of my chin. I felt like a mess. A big, fat, ugly mess of a human being.
Knowing the when and where of what had just happened… was going to happen… wouldn't keep me alive. It wouldn't save the other kids. Even if I figured out who that HYDRA dude was and why he was doing all this, the knowledge wouldn't save anyone.
It would just give me a better perspective of this nightmare…
I guess the question I had to ask myself now was, "What will I do next?"
So, I go ahead and gather info using my Siren Talent, I reset too here again… Then what? What can I actually do to prevent all the deaths of my ward mates?
Realistically, there was nothing I could do.
"Hey, none of that!" my inner me scolded, "You're not powerless. Use your Talents! Think positive!"
I scoffed at my own advice.
'Think positive?' What was there to think positively about?!
I was an orphan, all alone amongst HYDRA agents who wanted me dead! There was nothing "positive" about my situation! I had literally died once already! And now helpless children were going to die because I wasn't clever enough to save them!
"You're not alone. What about Lani? She's your friend, right? She'll help you."
A foreign weight settled in my chest. Lani Chen had abandoned me the first chance she'd got. That villain had said, "Go!" and she was out the door before she could even think to spare a thought for the rest of us.
Some friend she was.
"You can't blame her for that," my conscience argued, "Her Fight/Flight/Freeze response was to run. It wasn't something she could control."
Logically, I understood.
But that didn't stop me from feeling betrayed by her actions anyway. Lani had bolted without even sparing me a glance! No matter how logical her reasons, it still hurt. If her first instinct was to flee from danger, then I couldn't rely on her going forward.
"Don't be foolish. Lani could really help you!"
"It's not foolish! It's the TRUTH!" I yelled.
Silence reigned.
God, I must have been going crazy. Arguing with myself? What was next, a doppelganger saying she was me? HA! That wouldn't even be weird at this point. Anything was possible in this cursed universe. (I would know, I've watched Wandavision)
My tear ducts were beginning to dry up now, meaning I was in desperate need of a glass of water.
"Alright. Unfreeze the world, drink some water then tell Lani what happened," mini-me ordered, "You can brainstorm together after you're hydrated and calmed down."
… K.
Water first, freaking out later.
Uncurling on my cot, I pushed my heavy limbs into a sitting position and wiped my eyes. It was a vain attempt at clearing away the dried tears and sleep. But I tried, nonetheless. With puffy lids and blurry vision, I dismissed the 'Menu' screen and stood up.
Instantly, my hearing filled with worried exclamations. Looking around in bewilderment, I discovered the Arabian kid on my right and the older Asian girl on my left had vacated their cots and were hovering over mine. The English boy Tommy, that African-American boy who giggled at my slapstick, and several other vaguely European girls I didn't know joined them in forming a semi-circle.
"Big sis! Are you okay?!" The older brother asked. "Are you feeling sick, sis?" the Afro-American boy questioned. "Hey, hey!" A girl with black pigtails tugged aggressively on my sleeve, "Why you vomit? You sick?"
Their concern was sweet, but honestly, it was too much too soon.
I held up a hand and shushed them.
"I'm fine, okay? The rations didn't agree with me!" I snapped.
The children drew away as if I'd slapped them, expressions hurt. That, in turn, caused my mind to remember what they had looked like while dying. Their innocent little faces twisted in agony was an image I was never going to forget…
"Alright everyone, back off!" Lani shouted, elbowing her way into the group. "Give Chrissy some space to breathe. You can ask her how she feels later, okay?"
[LANI CHEN]
[HP- 100/100]
[SP- 100/100]
Inwardly, I was thankful for Lani's intervention. But outwardly, my mouth curled into a grimace at the reminder she hadn't been there when I really needed her.
"Chrissy," she said, her hands taking mine, "Let's wash your feet off. Come with me."
Embarrassingly, in my rush to get some water, I'd forgotten about the puddle of bile next to my cot. I was regretting that now. Somehow, through all the emotional turmoil, I'd managed to step in it.
Lani wasted no time waiting for my reply. Instead, she gripped my hands harder and forcibly pulled me over to the taps. She led my still kinda out-of-it form to the middle tap and made me stand next to it, so the spray hit my skin.
The droplets were icy-cold. They felt closer to tiny needles stabbing my toes than actual water.
"I'd give you soap and a towel but…" she drifted off. We both knew HYDRA wouldn't give us those necessities willingly.
Washing my slightly blue, covered-in-sick feet took a small eternity and once it was done, Lani handed me her cup and ordered me to rinse my mouth out too. The sheer relief as the liquid slid down my throat was heavenly. I felt as if the freezing cold was stripping away my grief, leaving nothing but a clear soul and a calm mind behind.
[HP- 100/100 (+20 for hydration)]
"Better?" she asked.
I nodded, "Yeah."
"Great." Lani clapped her hands together before placing them squarely on my shoulders. "Now, can you tell me what that was all about?" she tipped her head in the general direction of my cot.
Hmmmmm…. To tell her or not to tell her?
A part of myself wanted to confess everything. After all, as the only other player I knew of, she should be able to understand. But the other part of me, the main part, felt the sting of her betrayal hard. For me, the wound was still fresh and weeping. Simply being in her presence felt like adding salt to the fresh cut.
I decided I couldn't tell her, not yet.
Mabey one day, when the burn had healed and began to scar over. But not now. Not when our lives were still on the line!
[Siren Talent Activated]
"Oh, that?" I chuckled at myself reproachfully, "It was nothing. Those rations really do make me feel ill." I shrugged in that 'what can you do?' kind of way, all while willing her to believe the lie.
Lani's violet eyes glazed over, giving them a lilac sheen.
"R, right," she stuttered.
"You should forget this ever happened," I said, "You want to sit on your cot and activate your Runscript. Practice ways to run and hide without leaving any tracks."
As if by fate, in the next moment the cell door clanged open.
Igor strode in.
"Get up! Tell me what you want, or you get no food and water!" he yelled, just as grumpy as before.
[Siren Talent Deactivated]
[SP- 70/100 (-20 for Talent use)]
Brushing aside Lani's arms, I marched mechanically into the line forming in the aisle. Like clockwork, Igor asked what we wanted, waited for an answer, handed out two rations, then waved the next kid forward.
Rinse and repeat.
Unlike last time, I didn't bother questioning Igor. He hadn't been present for the "game" of Hide&Seek. Thus, he wouldn't have any new information to give. Instead, I took my two barely-edible hockey pucks and slunk back to my cot. I flopped onto it dramatically, quietly marvelling that my sheet was still there.
Eventually, Igor stomped out and a nervous hum returned to the ward.
I had just about nibbled half my way through my second ration when Lani of all people, wandered over. Surprised, I sat up, passing the rest of the inedible puck to the Asian girl eyeing it the cot over. She didn't even thank me when I held it out, just swiped it like a skittish squirrel.
[HP- 100/100 (+30 for nutrition)]
It hit me a moment later that my compulsion must have worn off on Lani. That's why she was bothering me I specifically ordered her not to.
"What do you want?" I asked sharply.
She halted at the foot of my cot, "Why did you use your power on me?"
I narrowed my eyes. "You remember that?"
"Not exactly. I know I talked to you after you threw up, but the memory was fuzzy until you walked away. FYI, it's kind of noticeable to find you suddenly remember something that you previously had not," she explained.
I would have to remember that as my power's first (perhaps only?) limitation for next time. It appeared that all my compulsions wore off once my Siren Talent Deactivated. (Inconvenient)
Shrugging all nonchalant like, I replied, "What if I did? I thought it was only fair since you've used your Runscript on me."
Lani shook her head in frustration, "Runscript isn't even something I could use on other people like what you did! I mean, theoretically, I could use my Alchemy on someone. But I would never do that!"
"Yeah, well, you will. Someday. What does it matter if I use my power on you too?" Knowing I was acting like a spoilt brat but unwilling to stop now, I rolled onto my side, drew my sheet over my shoulder and closed my eyes. "I'm tired. Go away."
My ears heard her huff angrily, "Listen. I don't know what I did, or what you think I did, to make you act this way towards me. But next time, can you ask me for permission first instead of not giving me a choice? Thanks."
Lecture over, I listened as she walked out of ear-shot.
Opening my eyes and rolling onto my back, I stared at the ceiling for a while.
Was it wrong of me to brush my only ally off like that? Yes, probably. However, that didn't change how I had every reason to! Lani had betrayed me, had betrayed ALL the kids in the ward. So what if I snapped at her a bit? It was the least she deserved, in my opinion.
At least, that's what I told myself.
Deep down, I knew it was wrong to punish someone for something they technically hadn't done yet. There was no guarantee Lani would do it again either. Perhaps my cold shoulder would alter the timestream or something. Who knew?
But the heart of a six-year-old is a stubborn thing, no matter if it was accompanied by the mind of an adult or not.
I couldn't bring myself to apologize; I just couldn't.
Hours later, the HYDRA guy waltzed in, ending my self-imposed sulking session too soon.
"Hello children!" he smiled, twirling in the middle of the aisle again. "Today, we are going to play a game of 'Hide and Seek'!" He gestured to THE WINTER SOLDIER! "My little wolf is going to be the seeker. Yes! If the wolf finds you, the game is over… Only the last survivors will win."
Now was my chance!
[Siren Talent Activated]
Before another word could leave his mouth, I began humming under my breath, willing everyone to stay calm and 'Don't. Move.' Rushing to the dude's side, I dove onto the cot parallel to his right shoulder, willed him to face me so we were eye level and said, "Who are you? Answer me truthfully."
The man's blue eyes glazed over.
"I am Baron Strucker," he said, voice monotone.
Strucker? As in Wolfgang von Strucker? That evil scientist dude from Ultron?!
I took a step back on the cot to examine him. He didn't look like the actor in that movie. Hadn't that man had a monocle and bald head? Best to be sure.
"What is your real name?" I asked, willing him to answer truthfully again.
"My name is Wolfgang von Strucker."
SH************T!
Now that I squinted, he did indeed resemble von Strucker a little. His monocle was missing, and he sported a full head of brown hair, true. But it was undeniably him. And at the end of the day, it didn't matter if he was the "real" Wolfgang von Strucker or not. He clearly thought of himself as Strucker and that was all that mattered here.
Clearing my throat, I continued. "Why are you doing this, Wolfgang von Strucker?"
He didn't reply.
I figured that question had been too open-ended. My question had to be more specific to work under my compulsion… Just one more limitation of my Siren Talent then.
"What is the point of playing this game you've devised?"
"To cull the herd," he answered.
"Why do you want to cull the herd?"
"Because HYDRA does not accept the weak."
Wow. Okay. THAT was offensive. Then again, this was the guy who'd tricked Sokovian protesters into getting themselves killed in his Mind Stone experiments so. I really shouldn't have expected anything else.
"When you say, 'Cull the herd', how many do you expect to cull exactly?" I asked next.
"Fifteen must go."
FIFTEEN!? He wanted FIFTEEN CHILDREN DEAD!? That was sick! It was EVIL! The man was an absolute MONSTER!
"How could you!" I cried, raring back, "You would kill fifteen of your twenty captives for, for, for NOTHING!?"
"Yes."
"NO!" Without thinking, I slapped the infamous Wolfgang Strucker across the face.
The man's head snapped to the side with the force of my blow, before slowly swivelling back around. In my rage, I screamed like a howling wolf and struck him again and again. Each slap got harder and harder. Until I was wielding my nails as claws and scratching the man across the face!
Trails of raised red skin littered his cheeks, the deepest of which oozed a lazy trickle of blood.
"YOU'RE A MONSTER!" I screamed hoarsely, "YOU DESERVE TO DIE!"
Suddenly, inspiration struck.
… I could compel Bucky to kill Strucker right here, right now.
Bucky wouldn't even care as he was the Winter Soldier right now. He was literally programmed to kill bad guys… and wasn't Wolfgang the baddest of them all? Sure, Thanos could put him to shame. But compared to anyone else, Wolfgang von Strucker was a sadistic psychopath!
He deserved to die.
Not thinking twice, I barked out, "Soldier! Kill him!" all while willing Bucky to cave in Strucker's chest as had been done to me.
I watched in sick satisfaction as the Winter Soldier crossed the gap in three steps, punched Wolfgang's chest with his vibranium arm and sent the man careening across the ward.
He collided with the tiled wall.
He fell limp.
[Siren Talent Deactivated]
[SP- 50/100 (-20 for Talent use)]
"Ahhhh!", "ARHHH!", "Oh my Goooood!?" "AAAAAAAAAAH!"
High pitched screams of shock and horror rose in a cacophony.
I stood, rooted to the spot as the other children fled the room. I heard their cries and screams echo down the hall, mixed with the slaps of their footsteps.
Some were screaming, others were crying, while some made no sound at all.
"Chrissy…" At hearing Lani's dismayed voice, I broke out of my trance and turned to see my friend staring in horror at what I'd done. The Winter Soldier towered over Strucker's corpse, eyes blank and body impossibly rigid. He stayed there, unmoving as the lifeblood of the man who'd ruined my new life spilled across the concrete.
The essence of Baron Strucker was now nothing more than a slowly growing puddle.
"How could you?" Lani said.
"I, I,-"
Sharp stones of amethyst drilled straight into my soul.
What she found there didn't please her.
Distantly, the sound of gun-shots began. I knew immediately that the guards watching the camera's video feed had ordered the escapees killed… They would all be dead within seconds.
[ALERT!]
[Relationship Change: Ally*]
[Lani Chen wants to drop you as an ally]
-Agree
-Disagree
No.
no, No, NO!
"Lani, please! I'm sorry!" I dropped off the bed and tried running to her side.
She apparated to the doorway just as I reached her. I blinked in shock. One minute, her body had been swirling/getting sucked into a single point in her chest, the next she had been unswirling from the same point in the door!? All of which happened in a single second!?
"It's one thing to kill in self-defence, but that?... How is what you just did any different than what HYDRA is doing to Bucky? I, I can't trust you, Chrissy," she declared, tone wavering in disbelief at the end.
She visibly gathered her courage and shot me a glare of the darkest loathing.
"Accept the relationship change, Christina."
Before any more could be said, Lani turned and bolted.
"…"
She had left me with no other choice; I had to try again.
[Main Menu]
[Quest Log*] - [Stats] - [Relationships*] - [Load Save]
[Load Save Selected]
[Loading…]
I blinked to find myself back in my cot.
[Game Saved]
[HP- 100/100]
[SP- 100/100]
So, killing that son-of-a-b*#ch resulted in my eventual death and the loss of Lani as an ally.
Great. Wonderful. Amazing.
…Sh*t.
DAMN YOU FORTUNA! YOU did this to me! You absolute B*#CH!
Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to breathe out my anger in one sharp exhale.
I needed to focus.
I needed to analyse what I'd learned and prioritized survival over everything else.
"Okay, Chrissy," I whispered, "You can do this."
Wolfgang's death I could live with. Losing Lani though? That I couldn't allow to happen twice.
Inner me had been right; I needed Lani as my ally or else I'd lose all hope. When her purple orbs had stared into my soul and found me wanting, I'd physically felt myself tearing apart. In my first life, I'd thought I knew myself well. But this 'new game' was testing me in ways I could never have foreseen.
HECK! In the last twenty-four hours alone, I'd witnessed a massacre, had my chest caved in, AND I'd killed someone!
I hadn't even known I was capable of murder…
This place was bringing out a side of me I hadn't know existed. I didn't even know what I'd been thinking when I used my Siren Talent on Lani. Mind controlling friends was a line I never thought I'd cross.
And yet, I had done so, nevertheless.
And for what? So, she wouldn't question why I'd woken up from a nightmare and immediately vomited?! In any other circumstance, I would have been thrilled to know I had a friend who was willing to brave puke for me. But instead, I'd pushed her away because in a timeline she wasn't even aware of she'd fallen prey to her Fight/Flight/Freeze instinct.
God, I was such a sh*tty friend.
Lani had every right to want her ally status revoked.
Lying on my cot, staring at that thrice-damned concrete ceiling, the truth of my situation finally dawned on me. Lani hadn't been the one to betray me, I had betrayed her. My ward mates' deaths weren't my fault due to lack of action. In my first go around, I had been just as much a victim as they were. But in the second, I had been in the wrong when compelling Bucky to murder. It didn't matter that Wolfgang von Strucker was a bad guy, nobody deserved to be forced to kill.
Especially not Bucky.
Lani was right, he had been used enough.
As for the death of my ward mates the second time? That was one was on me. If I hadn't carelessly killed HYDRA's Commander, then the failsafe of eliminating all the escapees wouldn't have been ordered.
Sure, in hindsight, not everything had been my fault. Some of my actions were quite justified.
Yet still, a part of this was my fault anyway. If I was going to survive this hellhole, then I needed to take responsibility for my mistakes. No matter how right they felt at the time.
Which meant I needed to apologize to Lani.
A soft groan accompanied the dread blooming in my chest. Apologizing to someone you'd wronged was always awkward. It didn't matter if you were one or one hundred and one, it never failed to suck. That didn't mean I wasn't going to do it of course! Lani deserved my apology, whether she knew she did or not. I just had to pluck up the balls to do it…
"BANG!" Our cell door flew open.
"Right on schedule," I grumbled.
Igor wasted no time stomping through the doorway and scowling at us like there was no tomorrow. "Get up!" he yelled, "Tell me what you want, or you get no food and water!"
Not for the first time, I wondered what had gotten his knickers into a twist? Perhaps he was told he wasn't allowed to partake in the hostage culling later? (The brute)
Getting up, I tried not to wince as my bare skin hit the freezing concrete and lined up obediently.
"Tell me what you want, or you get no food and water," Igor snapped.
I held my hands out, "I would like some food and water please."
Two rations and a new foldable cup were slapped into my hand, followed by a violent shove. Just as before, I stumbled out of line and wandered dejectedly back to my cot. I was about halfway down the aisle when my eyes caught Lani sitting on hers.
She appeared to be making no move to collect her rations. Instead, she was staring into space with a perplexed expression on her face?
I warred with my need to apologise to her now versus my need to procrastinate for a moment longer. Children squeezed past me while others were forced to hop over cots to get past. A few asked me to move aside but I was too focused on my internal struggle to register their voices.
Many shoves and elbows to the side later, my goodwill won over and I found myself walking over to Lani.
Once there, I hovered over her cot, suddenly tongue-tied.
What was I supposed to say? How did one apologise to someone for something they didn't remember?! I felt equal parts foolish and lost… I wanted to turn back.
"Hi, Chrissy," Lani greeted, "Do you want to sit down?"
Damn! She'd noticed me! I guess I had no choice but to sit down now…
Gingerly, I lowered my butt onto her cot, wincing when the rusty springs squeaked. Now I really, really wanted to leave! But I couldn't. I was there now; I had to go through with it!
A beat passed where Lani continued staring at space (Read: viewing her Runscript) while I fidgeted with the brown disks in my hands, nervous.
"Um, Lani?" I started, eyes glued to my lap, "I need to tell you something."
Lani hummed, "Go ahead."
"I… I might've, No. I did do something to wrong you…"
Her bushy black eyebrows scrunched together. "Okay?"
I took a deep breath before blurting it all out. "IusedmySirenTalentonyouandI'msorry!"
"What?"
My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, and I could feel a warm flush coming on. Yet I couldn't stop now. I was so close! And Lani deserved an apology!
"I used my mind-control on you and I'm sorry," I said, "Will you forgive me?"
Lani's pupils blew wide and her jaw dropped. We sat there for a moment, neither of us moving.
"…why?" she whispered, "Why would you do that?"
Guilt, the likes of which I'd never experienced before, wrapped its icy fingers around my heart and squuuuuueeeeeeezed.
"I am so, so sorry," I confessed, finally meeting her eyes, "I don't know what I was thinking. Well, okay, maybe I did. BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER! I brainwashed you to believe a lie and it was wrong and I'm sorry. I promise to never do it again!"
"What did you lie about?"
Ooooh, that was a tough one. How best to explain?
"Um, so, before I explain I need to tell you something else first."
She gestured for me to elaborate.
Taking a deep breath, I took the plunge. "You know how in the 'Menu' we have that 'Load Save' option? It turns out when we select it, time rewinds to our last save. For me, that was this morning as I was waking up."
"Like reloading to your last save point in a game," she said.
"Exactly! Anyway, I've reloaded this day twice and on my first reload I threw up when coming back." Lani grimaced in sympathy. "When you tried to ask me what was wrong, I brainwashed you to forget I'd thrown up and to leave me alone because I didn't want to explain. You ended up figuring out what I'd done, but I was too stubborn to apologize. When I later used my powers to compel Bucky to kill von Strucker for me, you told me you didn't want to be my ally anymore so…"
I trailed off into silence.
As silly as it was, I didn't want Lani to know how much her words had hurt me. It just… it reminded me how much I'd changed, ya know? How there were dozens of lives in/and on my hands now.
I wasn't ready to face that right now…If I ever would be…
While I was contemplating the ickiness of my soul, Lani seemed to be cycling through the five stages of grief. She blinked blankly in denial, scowled in anger, clenched her fists in bargaining, squeezed her eyes shut in depression, and finally, levelled me with a look of deepest disappointment in acceptance.
"Okay, that is a lot to unpack," she stated, "On the one hand, I don't want to judge you for something you haven't done in this timeline or whatever. But. There's a reason I didn't choose Siren as one of my abilities…" Her left shoulder rose in a half shrug. "It seemed like a slippery slope and it sounds like you slipped."
Ouch.
"I mean, not only did you use your powers on me, a friend, but you also used it on a dude who has spent the last seventy years being tortured and brainwashed by the very people he fought in WW2! You have to know that is seriously f* ked up and not something I can just forgive?"
My hopes sank.
"However," -My hopes rose- "I understand why you did what you did. If I were in your shoes, I may not have done the same. But I think this is a situation where there are only bad options, and we have to pick the less sh*tty ones."
"Okay?" I was getting mixed messages here. Was she forgiving me or not?! I decided to ask, "Does that mean you'll still be my ally?"
Her eyes closed and her lips thinned. The gravity of her decision weighted the air between us. On the one hand, I desperately hated the idea of being alone and Lani was my only ally here. She was the only person who could truly understand what I was going through.
But on the other hand, I felt in my heart of hearts that I didn't deserve forgiveness.
I had forced Bucky to kill a man and it was my poorly thought-out actions that had resulted in the death of eighteen children, assuming Lani survived after she left me (again). Though technically none of it had happened anymore, I could barely forgive myself. Let alone expect anyone else to.
Lani was going to say 'No', I just knew it.
"I will continue to be your ally on one condition," she said, as if hearing my thoughts, "You have to promise me you will never use your powers on me without my permission again. Deal?"
Unbidden, tears sprung to my eyes.
I lunged forward and smothered Lani in my arms, dropping my rations. "Thank you!" I sniffed, eyes watering, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Tiny, tanned arms returned the embrace.
"Shhh," she whispered, "Don't cry, you're causing a scene."
I had to choke down a sob… The other Lani had said that too. History really was repeating itself.
Eventually, we pulled apart and I got busy blowing my nose on my sleeve and wiping my eyes dry. Funnily enough, I was just about fully composed when my bladder alerted me it was full again.
"Good god," I swore.
"What's wrong?" Lani asked.
Nuh-uh, I WAS. NOT. suffering through the bathroom stall incident again! Just no.
I could hold it in.
"Nothing," I waved away her inquiry.
"Great. Now, can you tell me what happened on the days you reset?" Lani settled against her pillow and folded her arms, shooting me an expectant look. I took that to mean she wanted me to spill right now, regardless of any HYDRA agents listening in. (Which I knew for a fact, they were)
Ah well. We could always reload together later.
Trying to get comfortable, I shifted back to lean against her cot's end railing and crossed my legs. If I had still been a full-grown adult, this wouldn't have been possible. But as I was now inhabiting my new and improved six-year-old body, it worked splendidly.
For the next hour, I ran through everything that had happened to me over both reloads. Including how I'd stepped in my own bile and how betrayed I'd felt when she bolted during Hide&Seek. I laid all of it bare for the world to see, regardless of how triggered, it made me. By the end of it, a few tears had slipped out, I was consciously controlling my breathing, and I'd had to run off to gulp down two or three cups of water just to keep my throat from drying up.
Which now left my bladder screaming in agony. Though stubbornly, I continued holding it in.
"Help me understand," Lani said, heedless of my dilemma, "The first time you lived… today… Wolfgang von Strucker forced us to play Hide & Seek, and then ordered the Winter Soldier to kill the first fifteen of us? Where I bolted and you were… killed?"
"Technically, I reloaded before I could die, but yes. Basically."
She nodded, "And on your second run-through, you siren'd-"
"I prefer 'compelled'."
"-Strucker for information. He told you he planned for the last five of us to survive the game, which was when you used your powers on Bucky, forcing him to murder Strucker for you. THEN, I tried to revoke my ally status. Wherein you chose to reload again to erase your mistake."
Well, when she said it that way I sounded like an asshole! Which, I guess I kinda was now?
Reluctantly, I mumbled a soft, "Yes."
Lani leaned forward gravelly, balanced her elbows on her knees and rested her chin on her fists. "Why would Strucker do that?" she whispered, "What is his goal?"
"He said, "HYDRA didn't need the weak," and that he wanted to 'Cull the Herd'," I explained.
Her wild curls smacked against her cheeks as she shook her head. "… No. That doesn't make sense."
"Ahhh, this is HYDRA. I think it makes perfect sense," I countered.
Lani suddenly jumped off the cot and began pacing back and forth frantically. Her neighbour, Sandra? Sandy? jumped in shock. She held a hand to her chest before scowling at Lani for scaring her. Her attempt reminded me of a bunny trying to frown more than anything.
Not that Lani noticed though.
"No, no, no…" she mumbled to herself, "Strucker must have a bigger plan in motion. Perhaps he has limited placements for his next project? Or maybe HYDRA brought in more hostages than they can sustain? Either way, he has to have some sort of justification."
I tipped my head back, so it rested on the railing. "What does it matter?" I sighed, "Knowing isn't going to change that at any moment, he's going to walk through those doors and have fifteen of us killed."
My concerns fell on deaf ears. Lani was too immersed in her brainstorming to hear me right now.
Rolling my head to the side, I caught Lani's friend Felix turn on the left tap, whip out his willy and proceed to pee into the water stream. Within seconds, the other boys had joined him, forming a pee-circle around the left drain like some kind of sorority.
A spike of jealousy pinched my gut.
I wished peeing were so simple for girls; boys didn't know how lucky they had it!
"Maybe we can save them?" Lani said, snatching my attention back.
"Wah?" I cleared my throat, "I mean, how?"
"I don't know… yet. I can run through different scenarios in my Runscript? I've already tested out ways to escape. Although so far, all my attempts have been unsuccessful due to a lack of knowledge. But with your foreknowledge, we might just stand a chance?"
She phrased her last sentence like a question as if looking for my confirmation. I couldn't do that, naturally, so I settled for avoiding the topic altogether.
"While you do that, I'll go around gathering info on our wards mates," I shuffled off the cot, each movement risking the floodgates releasing until I was standing upright. I was about to say something sentimental like, "We're in this together," or, "I've got your back," when the sound of running water finally became too much.
Horror struck; I began to feel pee leak down my leg in rivulets.
"Plug your ears, Lani!" I ordered.
[Siren Talent Activated]
Frantic, I yelled out, "NOBODY LOOK!", willing everyone with eyes to shut them. Next, I hobbled/ran to the middle drain, hiked up my gown, squatted down and let the water flow.
[Siren Tale-
"HMMM!"
My compulsion remained active.
My bladder practically cried in relief as it emptied. The poor thing had been strained beyond its limits today. Note to Self: NEVER HOLD IN YOUR PEE! It will only lead to misery.
"TINKLE, TINKLE, TINKLE… TINKLE… tinkle…tinkle."
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, there was nothing left. Releasing a breath I hadn't registered I was holding, I stood up and walked over to the boy's tap.
[Siren Talent Deactivated]
[HP- 80/100 (-20 for dehydration)]
[SP- 80/100 (-20 for Talent use)]
I felt gross not having wiped the excess away, but my sheet was nowhere near me and I wouldn't stoop to using my own gown.
That was too gross, even for me.
To compensate, I washed my hands fiercely and tried valiantly to clean up the droplets clinging to my legs. The attempt ended with a sizable bottom chunk of my hospital dress soaked, but it was worth it because I was moderately cleaner than I had been in days.
"BANG!"
CRAP! Strucker was here!
"Hello Children!" he sing-songed, waltzing into the ward.
Lani and I locked eyes. All I could think was that I NEEDED to get to Lani RIGHT! NOW!
Suddenly, I felt a violent tugging sensation behind my belly button and like magic, I blinked to find myself standing next to Lani?!
[SP- 55/100 (-25 for apparition)]
"What the?! Did you just apparate!?" Lani asked, eyes wide as saucers.
In reply, I dropped to my knees and retched. Nausea caused my vision to swim, my gag reflex to feel constantly triggered, and my limbs to sway like jelly! Harry Potter had been right, apparating felt like getting squeezed through the eye of a needle.
"Today, we are going to play a game of 'Hide and Seek'!" Strucker announced. "My little wolf is going to be the seeker."
"Alright, here's the plan," Lani stage-whispered, crouching next to me on the floor. "You use your powers to keep everybody here while I map out the floorplan. I'll meet you back here when I'm finished."
"Wait. Won't it be better if I go with you and compel any guards to ignore us? That way, if any guards see Strucker and our ward mates standing still for hours, they won't assume final protocol and shoot you on sight."
"Yes, that's right. If my little wolf-"
Lani shook her head. "What about during the game? Do you know if the guards had orders to shot us while we ran and hid?"
"I, I never got that far…"
"You have twenty minutes to-"
"Let's assume they didn't then."
"Okay. Then the best plan of action should be to wait until Strucker's told us to hide. THEN compel the kids to wait in the hall and freeze everyone, giving us plenty of time to search together. Just make sure to block your ears when I start, K?"
She was about to shake her head, still not okay with me coming when Strucker said, "Ready? GO!"
Immediately, Lani stuck her fingers in her ears and whizzed out the door.
[Siren Talent Activated]
"EVERBODY MOVE TO THE HALLWAY AND STAY HIDDEN!" I shouted, "Strucker, Soldier, Stay. There. Don't. Move."
I willed everyone listening to obey my commands, then ventured out the door after Lani, humming a single note under my breath. Once in the hallway, I scanned left and right for my friend, but she was nowhere to be found.
"Sh*t!" She had ditched me again!
[Siren Tal-
"IIIIIIIIIIIIIII don't wanna be an American Idiot! Duh, nana, dah nana, dah Nah Na Nah na," I sang the first verse/chorus to Green Day's 'American Idiot'. Then quickly realised I didn't know all the lyrics, so switched to 'No Way' from the musical 'SIX' midway.
"N,n,n,n,n,n, no way! There's noooo waAAay. You must agreeeee that babyyyy in all the time I've been by YOUR SIDE! I've never lost control no matter how many times I knew YOU LIED! Had my golden rule. Gotta keep my cool. YEEEEEEah, babyyYyy. You know she's gotta keep her cool! And even though you've had your fun, running around with some PRETTY YOUNG THING! And even though you've had one son to someone who don't own a WEDDING RING! No matter what I heard, I didn't say a word. Noooo, babyyyyy. You know she never said a word."
I jogged left and peered around the corner.
Nothing.
"I've put up with your SHHH! Like every single daaAAaay. But now it's time to SHHH! And listen when I say, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay! WOW! You must think that I'm crazy. You wanna replace me. Baby, there's N, N, N, N, N, N, NO WAY! If you think for a moment, I'd grant you annulment. Just hold up, there's N, N, N, N, N, N, NO WAY! No way, no waaAAaay, there's N, N, N, N, N, N, NO WAY! There's no way."
I jogged to the other end and checked both ways at the intersection.
Nothing again.
"DAMN IT!" I shrieked, "All you wanna do, all you wanna do baby! I think we can all agree I'm the ten amongst these threes. All you wanna do, all you wanna do baby! And ever since I was a child, I'd make the boys go wild."
Switching to 'All You Wanna Do' at random, I stomped on over to the wall opposite the door, slide down the mint green painted concrete and sat staring evil-eyes at Strucker and Bucky. The two bore the brunt of my displaced anger for an hour straight.
I'd cycled through every song in 'SIX' and was contemplating starting 'Hamilton' when Lani apparated into the doorway.
"What happened to being allies, Chen," I hissed venomously, "I thought we were supposed to stick together."
Lani spun around, eyes narrowed, "Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
Crawling back up the wall to standing, I tipped my chin up and crossed my arms aggressively. "Allies are supposed to Stick. Together. But you ditched me the first chance you got!" I pushed off the wall and strode into her personal bubble, my two inches of height allowing me to tower over her.
"How could you, Lani? I thought we were partners!"
She took a step back, "You and I both know it was too dangerous to leave no one guarding the Winter Solider and your powers are best suited to keeping him in line."
"Oh? And we both know it was a huge risk exploring the floor all by yourself!" I countered, "You could have gotten hurt, Lani! What was I supposed to do if you never came back!?"
[WARNING!]
[SP Dangerously Low!]
[If SP reaches 0 your HP will be affected]
I checked my SP bar.
[SP- 15/100]
Crap!
I had around twenty minutes(ish) to spare before I hit zero. Then my health bar would begin to be taxed, and I for one didn't want to find out what that felt like…
There was no time for arguing.
"Look, I only have twenty minutes left before my SP runs out. Let's explore the other floors together and try to find a way out of here." This time, I left no room for argument.
I spun on my heel and marched towards the intersection. "Where's the elevator?" I called over my shoulder, "We should start by going up."
Lani ran to catch up.
"It's left up here, up the third set of stairs at the end of the corridor on your right. But we need a key-card to open the door and it's guarded by two henchmen," She said, doubling her pace to keep up with my brisk stride.
"No problem, I'll compel the guards," I said.
Humming the tune to the pink panther (Don't ask how that got stuck in my head), we reached the elevator in record time. My SP was hovering at 10%, meaning we needed to get a move on.
"You!" I pointed to the HYDRA guard on the left, "Open the elevator then give me your key-card. And you!" I switched to the other guy, "Forget this ever happened."
The man I dubbed 'Sven' turned around, swiped the card at his belt against a hidden monitor, waiting for the double doors to open, then lifted the metal carrying cage for us. Overall, it was a bit of a process and I marvelled at how much of a waste of time it must be for the lackeys.
I guess HYDRA wasn't about that 'Time Efficiency' stuff.
As we stepped inside, Sven unclipped his key card and handed it to me.
"Thanks!" I chirped, "Now forget this ever happened."
Lani pressed the top button as I pulled down the cage door while both guards returned to their starting positions.
[Siren Talent Deactivated]
[WARNING!]
[SP at 0, further Talent use will draw from HP]
"See?" I elbowed my ally in the side, "Look how much easier that was with me."
Lani rolled her eyes. "I could have handled that without you, Chrissy. There was no need for you to put yourself at risk too."
Bless Fortuna! What did she have against teamwork?!
Choosing not to dignify her with a response, I settled against the back of the cage and crossed my arms in silent rebellion. All the while, trying to physically project my displeasure at her anti-teamwork mindset.
The elevator rose.
.
.
.
The words 'Level 4' flashed past our eyes.
.
.
.
A new set of doors rode on by.
.
.
.
I coughed; Lani shifted her weight to her other foot.
.
.
.
"How long is this gonna take?" I asked.
Lani shrugged, "We started at Level 5. Who knows?"
"Hmph."
.
.
.
.
.
.
The cage jerked to a stop.
"FINALLY!" I huffed, pushing off the wall.
Identical metal doors parted, revealing two more guards. They immediately levelled their guns at us.
[HP- 80/100]
[SP- 0/100]
"F #k!" This endeavour was going to kill me!
[Siren Talent Activated]
"Step aside and forget you saw us!" I ordered.
[HP- 60/100]
Grabbing Lani's upper arm, I yanked her out of the elevator and sprinted for the first corner. Once we were out of sight, I sank to my hands and knee and coughed up blood.
[HP- 40/100]
[Siren Talent Deactivated]
[HP- 20/100 (-20 for Talent use)]
Lani kneeled next to me and rubbed my back in soothing circles. "Are you okay?" she whispered.
I brought a hand up to my mouth and wiped away spit/blood. Every instinct in my body was screaming for me to stop, but I wanted to keep going. No! I needed to keep going!
What was a pinching behind my eyes and ache in my bones compared to the death of eighteen innocent children? Nothing.
They needed me to push through so I would!
"Chrissy… your nose is bleeding."
Sure enough, it was.
"I can keep going," I said, voice hoarse as if I'd been screaming. "Go ahead. I'll catch up."
She hesitated for a moment, then rose to her full height of forty inches and left. I listened to the pitter-patter of her little feet echo against the walls till they faded. Coughing up another wad of bloody mucus, I forced my shaking limbs to crawl to the nearest lime painted wall.
Using it as my anchor, I dug deeper than I ever had before and pushed my poor, abused body to its feet. Blood was trickling off my chin in droplets, my brain felt like it'd been put through a blender, and my muscles quivered uncontrollably. I quickly concluded that walking wasn't going to be possible in this state.
Begrudgingly, I settled for standing guard and waiting for Lani's return.
In the worst-case scenario, I would have to reload without her, possibly risking her losing her memory when I awoke. But I held out hope that she would come back… even if she hadn't before.
[STATUS Change: Hypothermic]
[HP will be reduced by 1 every five minutes until you find a heat source]
This day was just getting worse and worse, wasn't it?
Dropping to my butt, I pulled my legs up and under my paper-thin gown. Wrapping my goosebump covered arms around my stick-like-limbs for extra warmth, I curled myself into the smallest ball possible.
The longer I could preserve my body heat, the longer Lani had to explore.
[HP- 19/100]
I waited.
[HP- 18/100]
And waited.
[HP- 17/100]
And waited…
[HP- 16/100]
Just as I was beginning to lose all hope, Lani Chen apparated into existence. "I'm here! I'm back!" she cried urgently, "We can reset now! Come on, Chrissy!"
Sluggishly, I raised my head and blinked.
"Lani?... you came back…" I whispered.
She nodded fiercely, "That's right, I came back. Now reset in three, two, one-"
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My world faded into oblivion.
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