About this One-Short:
Warning: None
A/N: This title song for this story is after the song "See You Again" by Charlie Puth
Hope you enjoy! Would love your thoughts! Worked all weekend to get this up for you today. I love you all that much. :-)
See You Again
Lexie stood out on the deck of the beach house, the sea breeze flowing through her hair and the warm sun on her skin. It had been a while since she had been out here again.
A pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against a very defined and muscular chest. She leaned into the touch, letting her head rest on his shoulder. She never got tired of this feeling. Of him.
"Hey, Lex," Mark said, placing a kiss on her neck.
"Hey," she said, bringing her hands to rest on top of his.
"A beautiful day to spend at the beach," he observed.
"A beautiful day indeed," she agreed. "Is today finally the day?"
He placed a kiss on her shoulder before he rested his chin there. "Today is the day," he confirmed.
She turned in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. The blue of his eyes sparkling in the sun, his skin tan and warm. She never tired being around him—being with him.
"Good. Because if Derek tells us we have to wait any longer before we could see Meredith…" she let the sentence trail off.
"I know," he said, leaning down to place a kiss on her lips.
"Did I hear my name?"
Mark groaned, pulling back only slightly, to see a smile on Lexie's lips. "You have the worst timing," he growled without taking his eyes from the woman he loved. "Always getting in the way of me getting action with my woman."
Derek laughed. "That's because you still get action with your woman. I have to send mine back," he replied.
Mark and Lexie pulled apart, but his arm wrapped around her waist. "You think she's finally ready to see us?"
Derek looked out over the horizon. "I think she will be glad to see you both. She misses you. Now that George and I have visited her, I think she wonders if she will get the opportunity to see you, too."
"Well, maybe we should get this show on the road," Lexie said. "I have a sister I have been dying to talk too—or at least dying to hear her talk back to me for once."
"Thank you. To the both of you. For helping me convince her that she needs to go back," said Derek.
"I'm sorry, she needs to go back," Mark added. "I know Zola, Derek, and Ellis need her. Sofia needs her," he said wistfully.
Lexie gripped his hand around her waist a little tighter. She knew Mark missed his daughter. He would visit her often, but like the rest of their loved ones, they never knew they were there. They couldn't talk or touch them. It was at least comforting to them to go back and check on them every now and then.
Derek sighed. "We'll be together again one day." He looked over to Mark and her with a genuine smile. "Just like you two."
Lexie looked up to Mark, her head resting against his shoulder. She didn't doubt that one day, they would be together, and they would be just as happy as she and Mark were. She was sure that Derek and her sister were soulmates and meant to be just like she and Mark were.
Mark released his hold on Lexie, and held out his hand to Derek. "See you again soon?" he asked.
Derek ignored his hand and pulled him in for a hug. "Yeah."
He bent down and gave Lexie a kiss on the cheek, before turning and walking away.
"Oh. Don't think I didn't notice that you had to go first, because you were still mad that I had to be the first one who died," Mark shouted after him.
Derek half-turned, with a grin. "I couldn't let you have all the firsts."
Mark and Lexie watched as Meredith got up form the log she was sitting on and walked her way towards the water at the edge of the beach. She bent down, letting the incoming wave crash into her feet, feeling the coolness of the water in her hands.
"Are you sure?" Lexie asked.
Mark squeezed her hand, before releasing it. "I'm sure. She's your sister. Go. I'll be right behind you," he said.
She placed a kiss on his cheek and made her way to the shore, to finally get that one-on-one time with her big sister she had longed for since she had died. When Meredith stood, letting the water fall from her hands, Lexie took the opportunity to come up and stand next to her.
"Feels nice, doesn't it," Lexie said, looking out onto the horizon.
Meredith paused for a minute, before turning to the side. Even from her side profile, she could see her mouth falling open, her eyes popping out, before she broke out into a smile.
"Lexie?"
Lexie turned to her. "Hey, sis."
Meredith launched herself at her, Lexie catching her just in time for a full-on bear hug. It was Meredith who laughed first, before she took broke into a chuckle, just enjoying the fact that this was the first time in nine years that she really got to touch, talk, and laugh with her big sister.
When Meredith pulled back, her hands came to Lexie's cheeks, her hand in her hair as she just looked at her. Tears of joy this time started to fall down Meredith's eyes, and Lexie felt her own tears starting to fill up at the back of her eyes.
"I can't believe you're here," Meredith said with a startled laugh.
"I couldn't very well pass up the opportunity to come and see you now, could I?"
Meredith pulled her into another hug. "I've missed you, Lexie. More than you know."
Lexie's chin rested on her shoulder. "I know," she said softly. "I've missed you too."
The sisters pulled apart, Lexie allowing Meredith to pull her back to the logs where she had been sitting these past days since she had arrived at the beach.
"It's beautiful out here, isn't it?" Lexie regarded looking out into the ocean.
"I loved it here," Meredith replied, letting the breeze caress her face.
"Sometimes it makes it hard to want to leave a place as beautiful as this." She turned to her sister. "Are you planning on staying?"
Meredith looked out at the water, the sand, and then finally back at her sister. "I don't know. A large part of me wants to stay. So many of the ones I love are here. You, Derek, George. I have missed you all. I just don't know if I would be breaking some fate that is designed for me. If that would bend the rules, you know?"
Lexie nodded. "I get that. I think when it comes to life and death, and how we move forward there aren't any rules." She bit her lip and chuckled. "I know that has been hard for me to get used too. I liked things that were more black and white. I liked the rules. I think I may have even lived by them."
Meredith laughed. "Yeah. I used to remember it was hard to break you out of them. Until you went all hardcore and secretly started practicing simple medical procedures on your fellow interns," she reminded her.
Lexie smiled. "I did do that, didn't I? I was pretty hardcore."
Meredith agreed. "That you were."
"Which is why, when I look back now…I think it made me realize I loved having those rules in place," she opined.
"You totally did," Mark agreed, coming up behind the sisters and stopping to stand next to Meredith.
"Mark!"
Meredith jumped to her feet and threw her arms around him and hugged him just as tightly as she did when she first saw Lexie.
"Your early, killer," he said into her hair as he hugged her back.
Meredith pulled back, her arms resting on his upper arms. "I was wondering if I was ever going to see you again."
He grinned. "I've been around. Besides, I'm the bad cop to Lexie's good cop."
She released him, and he went to take his place in sitting next to Lexie. Her hand immediately reached out for his, their fingers interlocking together as they smiled at each other.
"So, it seems like you two did find each other. Your together?" she asked.
Mark and Lexie smiled at each other as he squeezed her hand. "As I said, she was waiting for me."
"I was waiting for you," she agreed, as they shared a loving look between them.
Mark dipped his head and placed a kiss on her cheek.
"See…this—this right here is what makes me want to stay. I'll get to be with Derek, and this place. There's no pain here. The water, the breeze, the sun…all of it," Meredith expressed.
"And none of it is real," he said.
Meredith arched her brow. "You're telling me that you and Lexie aren't real?"
He shook his head. "We are the only thing that is real," he clarified. "This beach…this sand, water, the breeze that you are sticking around for…that isn't real, Mer."
"What is?"
"Your life back home with Zola, Derek, Ellis and the others," Lexie said. "We promise you…that you being here is way too early."
"It was too early for you two to be taken away too," she argued.
"Yeah," Mark said. "It was. But sometimes, it's just the way it is."
Meredith looked back out into the ocean. "George said that he didn't get to choose, but sometimes it's different for others. That maybe they do. Did you two get to choose?"
Lexie turned to her with a sad smile. "I didn't. I never wanted to leave you, Mark, or anyone behind."
Mark released her hand, instead, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.
Meredith's gaze turned to Mark. "And you?"
"It's complicated," he replied. "My injuries were pretty severe…but without this one by my side…I was incomplete. I would have existed Mer, but I wouldn't have survived. Not like you."
"What do you mean?"
"You're a survivor. You always have been. It was probably the one thing Ellis and Thatcher gave you from an early age. You've encountered tremendous losses in your life—Ellis, George, Derek, Lexie, me…and yet you still push forward. You still survive," he answered.
"It's what people do," she responded.
"Not always. Not everyone," said Lexie.
There was silence for a moment, as everyone looked out into the horizon.
"Let's say I do want to go back…how do I get back there? Derek keeps coming to see me, but he won't tell me what to do to go back."
Mark and Lexie turned back towards her. "That's because it's not up to Derek, Mark, or myself. It's up to you," Lexie said.
"That helps a lot," Meredith said sarcastically.
"I already told you all this around us isn't real," Mark pointed out.
She stood, pushing her hair from her face. "Yeah, and I really wish people would stop telling me that."
Lexie patted Mark's leg, his arm falling to his side, as she got up to go and stand next to her sister, looping her arm through hers. "We don't keep telling you that because we want to upset you…we tell you that because we need to make you fully understand."
Meredith shook her head exasperated. "Again, what does that mean?"
Mark came to stand on her other side. "It means, we will get to hang with you a little longer today," he said.
Meredith smiled. "That I would like."
"What do you say…might as well enjoy the gorgeous water here while we have it," he said, tilting his head to the ocean.
"Took the words right out of my mouth," Lexie responded.
"You two go ahead…I need a minute," Meredith said.
Lexie laughed as Mark took her hand, both of them racing towards the water. His hand enclosed in hers as they ran towards the water and then quickly tried to beat the wave before it sucked it down with them.
He pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" he asked.
"No, but you can tell me again," she replied, bringing her arm up and around his neck.
"Your beautiful. Your perfect."
She inhaled deeply before exhaling. "I love you."
"I love you, back," he replied, before lowering his head to place a kiss on her lips.
When they pulled back, Lexie's gaze turned back up towards the beach where Meredith was still sitting on the log, watching the two of them with a smile. "You first?" she asked.
He nodded. "Me first," he agreed.
She nuzzled his nose. "Then you better go…our time is short."
He groaned, clearly not wanting to leave her arms. "You make it so hard to leave."
She unclasped her arms, and pushed at his chest. "Go."
"Fine."
When he turned to walk away, she playfully smacked him on the ass. He turned back, and she bit her lip seeing the look on her face.
"Careful, Little Grey, today I'm the bad cop," he said, before turning back and walking back towards her sister.
"Come on, killer, let's go for a walk," Mark said, once he reached Meredith.
She stood, and together they started walking the outline of the beach just out of reach of the water.
"Will Lexie be here when we get back?"
"She will," he answered. "It wouldn't be fair after nine years apart to not get some one-on-one sister time," he said.
"Are you two happy?" she asked.
"We are. She's always been the center of my happiness." he paused. "But we aren't here to specifically talk about Lexie and I," he noted.
"What are we here to talk about?"
"You. And why you don't want to go back," he answered.
She crossed her arms over her chest. "It's not that I don't want to go back…"
"You can't lie to me, Mer. Remember, the only two founding members of The Dirty Mistresses club. I know how you think."
She sighed. "Maybe, for once…I just don't want to have to feel the pain," she admitted.
"There's always pain, Mer. That never leaves. If you decided to stay, it would just be a different kind of pain."
"Would there? I'm kind of liking this different," she said, stopping as she pointed off in the distance. "Look, a merry-go-round. I haven't been on one of those for a long time," she squealed, taking off towards it.
Mark gave her a moment to enjoy walking around the merry-go-round, her hand tracking the bars, until she finally stopped and took a seat.
"There are differences, Big Grey," he said after a moment. "For example, one of the biggest differences…is that it's been nice talking to you today."
She looked up at him. "What do you mean?"
"It means for over the past nine years, I have spent a fair share of my time trying to talk to you, Callie, Sofia, Jackson, and Arizona. The difference, is that most of the time you don't hear me. The difference is, that I don't get your responses back," he emphasized.
She pursed her lips together, before licking her lips. "Do we ever listen to you?"
He shrugged. "Sometimes," he replied truthfully. "For the most part, I try to remind you all to tell the ones you love that you love them before it's too late," he warned, looking back in the direction of where he knew Lexie was waiting for them.
Meredith caught his gaze. "But you got to tell, Lexie," she reminded him.
"I did. But I was lucky I was given that chance. I almost didn't...and that would have been one of my biggest regrets. Not everyone gets too," he said.
"Why did you choose to not to stay?" she asked suddenly.
He sighed. "Because I couldn't let go," he answered. "I told you…you are a survivor. You mourn, you miss, and sometimes you break…but you still survive. You go on…you live, and you find away to keep moving forward." He put his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I would have just existed. Without Lex, half of me was already gone, and my soul was incomplete. It was a life that would have been all wrong for me."
"But yet you come back. Do you regret letting go?" she asked.
He turned away from the water and back to her. "No. I could never regret needing to be with Lexie. She's everything to me. But…and here's that difference again—sometimes I can't let go. So, I come back, and yell at you all to let go. Let go of the stupid small stuff. The fights, the small worries, everything. They will work themselves out in the end…as long as you tell the people you love that you love them," he said.
"You're talking about the divorce, aren't you?"
He nodded. "Callie and Arizona, Jackson and April. God, they have frustrated the hell out of me these last couple of years. Made me even think back to Lexie and my time apart. The ridiculous things we held onto. How I wished I had the opportunity while I had been alive for those do overs."
"I'm sorry," she said.
"It's part of the choices we made. The hardest is to let go of the kids. Lexie and I mostly come back to watch them. We miss them. We try and watch them grow up. Sometimes we can even see some things that are about to come your way and we try to tell you so you don't miss out on life. Miss out on them."
Meredith chuckled, stepping onto the merry-go-round. "I bet we don't always listen."
He grinned. "No, you sure don't. I wish we could shake you…but were still there anyway. If by chance you do listen, you think it's because of the brilliant idea you came up with yourself. If you don't, we sit with you in the silence anyway. Sometimes, it's when you're crying and we can't physically reach out that makes it the hardest," he proclaimed.
He grabbed hold of the bars and started to push it slowly, causing Meredith to giggle as she went around in a circle.
"Mark?"
"Yeah."
"If I don't go back…will everyone be ok without me?"
"Maybe. I can tell you they need you a whole lot more than we do here. We'll always be waiting, killer. Always," he said.
He turned the bars faster so she had to hang on and squeal at the same time.
"You're going to make me sick," she shouted.
He grabbed hold to slow it down. "Maybe you should go and hang with Lexie on the swings. She's been dying to talk to you."
"Will you—"
"Go," he chimed in before she could finish her sentence. "You aren't rid of me yet," he said.
Meredith met her sister down by the set of swings, Lexie already pumping her legs so she was propelling forward and backwards. Lexie smiled when her sister sat down next to her.
"How was your visit with Mark?"
Meredith chuckled. "As frustrating as it was when he was alive."
Lexie smiled. "Glad to know after all these years some things still don't change." she mused.
Meredith pushed off the ground, starting to gain momentum as she started to swing back and forth. "I'm so glad you're here," she said, breaking the silence.
Lexie turned her head forward as they passed each other, and beamed. "Me too."
Meredith sighed. "I was so devastated, when you died."
Lexie pressed her lips together, her eyes casted down. "I know," she murmured softly. "I was there."
Meredith looked over, transfixed, lost in emotion. "You were?"
"I was. You know what's worse than actually dying?"
"What?"
Her swinging slowed until her feet were burrowing into the sand. "Having to watch the faces of the people you love around you, watching you die," she said.
"I still have nightmares sometimes of that time. You dying, Mark in bad shape wanting to die with you…all of it," she let slip.
"I forgot what it was like to be able to dream or even experience a nightmare," Lexie said thoughtfully.
"I didn't even think that might not be something you wouldn't have anymore."
She nodded. "Which is why it's important you choose life, Mer. Having a body means that you get to enjoy everything. Sometimes, even the bad that comes with the good. Because if you don't, then it would only make sense to want to choose death."
Meredith wrapped her arms around the chain of swing, letting her hands fall towards her lap as she swayed back and forth with the remaining momentum. "Sometimes, death feels like the better option."
Lexie frowned. "Tell me your favorite thing about life?" she asked abruptly.
Meredith snorted. "Favorite thing?"
Lexie nodded. "Yeah. Tell me what your favorite thing in your life is right now," she repeated.
She sighed and looked out into the ocean as she pondered that question. After a moment, she turned back to her sister. Lexie hopped off the swing and stood now to face her.
"I love the mornings with the kids. Zola is so mature for her age, that she loves wanting to be a helper. She will want to assist with helping to make breakfast and feed Derek and Ellis. She says, "Mommy, I'm a big girl, and as a big girl, I can do big things to help you. Things like daddy used to do,"" she said, doing her best to mimic Zola's childlike voice.
"That's nice," Lexie commented. "I bet she's a great helper."
Meredith laughed. "Sometimes. Other times, she makes me crazy and late for work, but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world."
"No, and why would you. That's what being alive means. Holding onto those moments and living in those moments." She passed through the swings until she was standing behind her sister, so she could start pushing her again. "Take it from me, Mer, the ability to live those moments—even sometimes the bad ones—is better than not being able to live it at all."
"I know you didn't have a choice. I know you would've stayed if you could. I guess…I guess I just want to know that if I can go back…that your ok," she said hesitantly.
Lexie smiled even if her big sister couldn't see her. "You're the best sister I ever had, Mer. I've been fine, and I'll be fine. I have George, Derek, and Mark is with me always. That's all I ever needed." she paused. "One day—a long time from now—there will be you and Molly too, and then everything will be complete," she added.
"Is that your subtle way of telling me that I should go?" Meredith asked.
Lexie stopped pushing her until her swing came to a stop. She wrapped her arms around her big sister. "I'm telling you that I love you. That this decision is completely up to you. Just make sure it's the right one," she said, kissing her on the cheek.
"Would you look at that…sisterly love," Mark's voice boomed from behind them.
Lexie released her sister and turned back towards the man she loved. He winked at her, before his eyes traveled back to Meredith.
Meredith stood from the swing. "Why do I feel like our time here together is about to end?" she asked.
Lexie planted herself in Mark's arms, her back squarely placed against his chest, his arms holding her tightly around her waist.
"Because we do have to leave you soon," he answered.
"I'm not ready for you both to leave yet."
Lexie smiled sadly. "No one ever is," she replied.
Meredith sighed. "Has that what this whole day has been about…reminding me that life is pain? That's the point to be learned?"
"No," they said in unison.
She grunted. "It seems all that I have experienced is grief. Grief, and loss, and pain. I lost you both. I lost Derek. I lost George and my parents. It just seems that it won't ever end."
"Mer, you know what that is," Mark rebutted.
"No, I don't," she bit back, her reply steadfast.
Mark grinned. "You are just as stubborn now as you always were." His lips were close to Lexie's ear. "Told you she was."
She rolled her eyes, but turned her head so she could meet him for a quick kiss. "You do know why," Lexie pressed, turning back to face her sister.
"Maybe I just don't want to say it," Meredith replied.
"Fine, then I will," Lexie said, leaving Mark's arms so she could come to stand in front of her. "You feel the grief, the losses, the pain, because it means you also feel deep love for all of us. If you didn't, you wouldn't care as much."
"Is it bad if I don't want to care like that anymore?"
"Yes," Mark answered coming to stand next to Lexie. "Living means that you get to feel it all—the good and the bad that comes with feeling. It also means that you still get the opportunity to do something about it. Make changes. Get those do overs we talked about," he replied.
Meredith smiled at the both of them. "I really really have missed you both so much."
"We know," Lexie said, taking hold of Mark's hand as he placed it over her shoulder. "But that is a waste of time."
Meredith's eyes went round. "Why would you say that?"
"Because we never left you," Lexie answered.
"We're always with you someway, somehow," Mark added.
"So, don't waste a single moment of your life, Mer," Lexie chimed back in. "Because when it's gone…I promise you, all you will want to do is go back and look at the things you spent so much time wasting your time on to begin with," she said.
Mark smiled. "Beautiful and brilliant," he commented as he looked at Lexie lovingly.
"I'm so glad you found each other again," Meredith noted.
"We were never really apart…not where it mattered," he replied. "Don't worry about us, Mer, our happily ever after exists. You still have a ways to go."
"And, when you think you see something out of the corner of your eye, or you get this little flutter in your stomach and no one is around…that's us. We're there with you," Lexie added.
Meredith wiped a tear from her eye. "You have to go…don't you?"
Mark released Lexie, and they both surrounded her and hugged her. "It's you that has to go," Lexie whispered.
"I love you both," Meredith said, her voice breaking.
"We know," Lexie said.
"We love you too," Mark joined in.
They both squeezed her tightly, and just like that, the beach was empty again with just the two of them.
"One more trip for old times sake?" Mark asked, holding out his hand.
Lexie nodded, and placed her hand in his. Within seconds, they were in Meredith's hospital room, standing in the background watching as Zola started talking to Meredith about her younger sister climbing into bed with her. Zola being the big sister she is, finding comfort in the small ask since Meredith had been missing.
"Mommy?" Zola said, when Meredith uttered her praise at her being a good big sister.
Meredith smiled, Zola throwing her arms around her mother, and hugging her tight. Lexie looked up to Mark, his arm coming around her shoulder, pulling her into his body as he placed a long slow sweet kiss to her temple. His breath still causing her to shiver with desire and happiness.
"This…this is everything," Lexie said.
"Yeah, it is," he agreed.
Meredith's eyes blinked before looking up in her hospital room to the exact spot they were standing. A smile forming on her lips. Zola turned in their direction.
"Mommy? What are you looking at?" Zola asked.
Meredith shook her head. "Nothing, baby. Nothing at all."
The End.
A/N: Small note: In this story…for my ending…I am picturing that Meredith and Derek had their beach wedding before they visited. I really hoped you enjoyed my take on what I would have loved to have seen with Mark and Lexie's return in Breathe! :)