In today's chapter: Tommy outruns his trauma like it's an Olympic sport by focusing on his newfound older sibling status instead, Phil has a minor aneurysm over his changing responsibilities, and a family reunion of sorts takes place.

Panic overtook Tommy when he woke up in a place he didn't immediately recognize.

The dark wooden walls frightened him, a mix of confusion and dread seeping into his sleep-dazed brain as he registered where he was - or more accurately, where he wasn't. His breathing quickened, thoughts wasting no time spinning out of his control.

He has to get back, he has to leave and go back before Dream comes by and finds him gone-

Awareness broke through a mere moment later, making his heart skip a painful beat in its effort to slow down. He was in the cabin, Technoblade's cabin in the tundra. Tommy had been staying there for days but had become used to sleeping in the little alcove he had dug for himself in the basement and not in a bed. Which was why he had been caught off guard.

In comparison to cold cobblestone, the blankets felt near suffocating as he pushed them away, breathing deeply a few more times to calm down. Sunlight was filtering through the trapdoors the cabin used for windows, with no clear indication of how late it was. The room was empty though, meaning he had slept in. Stretching his numbed muscles as he moved, Tommy climbed down the ladder to the ground floor.

The first thing he noticed was Phil sitting at the crafting table again, back hunched over as he worked on some pieces of clothing. The second and much more worrying thing that Tommy noticed was that Technoblade had a sword.

Tommy blinked and watched for a moment as the piglin child swung it around. It looked much too big for his current shrunken stature, but that didn't seem to be a problem for Techno. In fact, he seemed entirely too happy with it, carelessly turning the iron over in his claws with proud little grunts as he hauled it after him through the room.

Walking over to the nearby chest to retrieve a gapple for breakfast - making sure to stray in a wide circle around the lethal sword-wielding child - Tommy caught Phil's attention.

"So why does Technoblade have a sword?"

Phil glanced over his shoulder, not really paying attention. "Because I gave him one."

Tommy took a bite, nodding his head. "Hm. Why though?"

Once more Phil looked up from his work. "Don't worry," he said upon seeing Tommy's dubious expression. "He knows how to use it."

Tommy didn't doubt that, but he was starting to doubt Phil's parenting choices. "I still don't think you're supposed to give weapons to like... toddlers, ya know," he said. As if maybe that was something that could have slipped Phil's mind and not a staple of childrearing.

Tommy didn't know anything about kids, but he knew you shouldn't give them sharp objects.

"Look how happy he is to have it though," Phil answered. Technoblade swung the sword wildly, bashing it into the floor and splintering the wood.

Rolling his eyes, Tommy snorted. "How did any of us even make it to puberty with you as a father?" A lot of things about his childhood were starting to make more sense all of the sudden.

Phil didn't answer but finished the final stitches on his work. He held the cloak he had sewn together up at arm's length to appraise it, then nodded in satisfaction. "Techno? C'mere, will you?"

The piglin strolled over reluctantly, sword dragging behind him. Phil stood up quickly to wrestle him into his new outerwear, with Tommy simply eating and enjoying the show. It was oddly reminiscent of a time when Phil had done the same to him, forcing Tommy into four layers of warmth before even allowing him to set foot outside in winter. Painful nostalgia gripped his chest.

Techno escaped their dad's grasp eventually, but by then the damage had already been done and he was wearing the knee-length garment against his will. The hood had a fluffy trim and this combined with the maroon color of the fabric made it humorously similar to Techno's usual attire, just a whole lot cuter.

Tommy tried to shake the thought, knowing the old Technoblade would probably kill him for it.

"There, much better. Now you won't get cold. " Phil smiled, and Techno grunted at him before turning around and sprinting outside. The older man sighed, shoulders sagging. Tommy couldn't help but notice he looked tired, realizing he wasn't sure if Phil had gone to bed at all last night. It felt like a weird thing to point out however, so he just kept quiet.

Phil started cleaning up the needle and threads he had used, not looking at Tommy. "So are we going to talk about yesterday or...?"

The question hovered in the air awkwardly. Tommy kept chewing, swallowing as slowly as humanly possible without actually choking to delay needing to answer. He could only keep that up for a limited amount of time though and eventually he was forced to open his mouth and respond.

Maybe he could just brush it off by playing dumb. "Talk about what?" Okay, not that dumb. He wanted to facepalm but Phil was staring at him with his eyebrows raised.

"We're just going to pretend that whole thing with Dream was completely normal then? Come on, Tommy."

"I-" Tommy started, then stopped, then bit his tongue hard enough to have the taste of blood intermingling with the overly sweet flavor of the gapple. The pain ground him though, kept him from starting to hyperventilate or some shit. "Look, it's not a big deal, okay-"

"Really? Cause it seems like a pretty big deal to me."

Involuntarily, Tommy found himself flinching away from the harshness of those words. He didn't think Phil would notice though, having turned his back again to keep putting things away. "Dream's just a fucking prick," he said instead. It was a safe neutral. Not a lie, not a confession.

And something he was sure Phil could agree with.

Instead, Phil stopped with what he was doing and turned around. "I take it he visited you often while you were exiled?"

"Yeah, he's pretty much the only one who bothered to come visit me actually." Bitterness hid beneath his tone, escaping him with more sharpness than intended. Tommy hated how angry it could still make him, how pathetic it was. Lying awake at night by himself wishing he didn't have to be all alone, abandoned by everyone.

Knowing that it was probably his own fault that he was. Dream told him as much.

"He's your friend," Phil said after a moment, but it was posed more as a question.

Tommy felt the need to defend himself in the face of such scrutiny. "I guess. I mean, yeah, of course he is."

"Then why are you hiding from him?"

Clenching his fingers against the curving of the chest he was sitting on, Tommy didn't know how to respond to that. Phil was staring at him again and that gaze too made him want to squirm out of his skin, sick with the nausea of it all. Tommy shrugged and got up. "I'm going outside to check on the feral toddler you left unsupervised." His dry humor didn't hit home the way it should, falling dumb and flat between them. He got up before Phil could react.

The morning air was freezing, almost making Tommy turn right back around. But if it was a choice between facing his concerned father or freezing to death, he knew which option he'd rather go for. Technoblade wasn't anywhere in sight. Tommy followed the obvious trail left behind in the snow though, leading the way towards the stable and the surrounding area fenced off for cows. A dog was heard yipping excitedly and Tommy leaned onto the railing, peeking at what was going on.

He watched as a big fluffy hound pounced on the small piglin child who had made their way into the fenced area, the dog pushing Technoblade to the ground easily with its much greater weight and pressing its maw into his throat.

'That dog is going to eat him alive,' Tommy thought, amused at the unusual sight. Then horrified when it turned into 'wait shit that dog is going to eat him alive'. He tried to jump the fencing only for his foot to get caught on the top, leaving him to fall flat onto his face on the other side with a muffled yelp. The dog wasted no time jumping at him too, licking Tommy's face with its rough tongue. Tommy pushed it off as he scrambled to sit up, certain he was about to see his brother being turned into a piece of bacon by the ravenous animal.

Instead of the massacre he was expecting, he found Technoblade was sitting down in the snow as if the cold hardly bothered him. His hands were curled into grey fur, petting it. The dog was nuzzling his chest, nudging him while making low, content growling noises. Tommy understood that while Techno might not remember this dog, it recognized him. And it was happy to see him too.

As Tommy got back on his feet Techno stared over at him, not moving from his comfortable seat. The dog that was still eagerly nudging him barked once and wagged its tail. Techno's tail wagged back in kind. "Dog," he said, pointing at it. He looked back at Tommy as if waiting for a response.

Which was mortifying, because Tommy didn't have one.

"Yeah, it's a dog," he said lamely and then kind of wanted to punch himself for sounding like a dork.

But Technoblade smiled, happy with Tommy's contribution to the conversation. Tommy walked over and crouched down, joining in stroking the dog's thick coat for a moment. It wasn't wearing a collar or tag, but going by how friendly it was Technoblade must have been in the process of taming it before he-

Well, before he died.

"Are we going to keep it?" Tommy asked halfheartedly, already knowing the answer. Techno nodded and the dog barked its agreement. "We should name it then. Let's give it the perfect dog name, maybe Max or-"

He was interrupted by a snowball hitting him square in the face. A short series of high-pitched oinks followed the assault, which Tommy needed a minute to recognize was Technoblade laughing his ass off. As soon as he realized his brother was jeering him, he frowned and scooped up a handful of snow to return the favor.

They pelted snow at each other for a while. Techno jumped up so he could evade Tommy's projectiles better, with Max running between them and trying to get himself showered in snow. By the end of it, Tommy couldn't feel his hands anymore and he was soaked all the way to his socks, making him throw his arms up in surrender. "I give up, you can stop now!"

The piglin celebrated its triumph by shoving him onto his ass and sitting on top of him. Tommy allowed it, even though he knew he could throw the other off with little effort. Techno was more than content to gloat in his victory. When Max jumped on top of him too, Tommy wheezed. At this rate, he was going to be smothered.

Then Techno stilled suddenly, ears perked up and head tilted to the side. Tommy went stiff too, trying to listen for what had caught the child's attention. His throat closed up at the realization it might be Dream, coming back to talk to Phil like he had done the day before. But then he heard the rhythmic sound of hooves in the snow accompanied by the nervous whirring of a hesitant enderman and Tommy relaxed slightly. Technoblade got off him and ran over to the fence to retrieve his sword which he had left leaning against one of the posts.

Tommy stood up as well. He should probably stop his brother from killing Ranboo. Yeah, he should definitely do that.

The enderman hybrid was walking alongside the horse and holding its reins, but it seemed the horse was leading him along more than the other way around. Carl had noticed where they were going and was beelining for his stable, pulling Ranboo in that direction. When the enderman saw them, he waved. And if he was surprised to see Tommy he covered it up well.

"I uh... I brought Carl back," Ranboo said, gesturing awkwardly. The horse tugged on his lead again and Ranboo let go, allowing it to trod away from him. "I thought after everything that happened, it just- I don't know, it's probably stupid." He trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck.

Tommy crossed his arms in front of himself, not sure what to say. "Thanks," he settled on eventually.

"Yeah, no problem." Ranboo's eyes shifted towards Technoblade, who had made a point of standing in front of Tommy for some reason, ridiculously large sword clutched in two hands. He wasn't acting threateningly exactly, just curious towards a stranger. Waiting to see what he would do. Ranboo tore his eyes away and tried to smile at Tommy. "I'm glad you're doing well."

Giving a noncommittal hum in response, Tommy looked away. There was something tight and vile curling in his stomach he'd rather not dwell on, but staring at Ranboo made it harder to push away somehow. His arms were itchy with his need to scratch at the skin.

"I should probably go back now," Ranboo said eventually when the silence that stretched between them had become too unnatural to be called anything but strained. "S-see you around."

Tommy watched him turn around, kept watching until Ranboo wasn't much more than a spot faded on the horizon.

Couldn't tell why it still left him feeling miserable.

They were back inside when Ghostbur came by.

"Hello Phil, Hello Tommy!" His smile faded only slightly when he saw Technoblade, floating around the piglin who was keeping occupied on the floor by reading a book but had looked up at his appearance. "Oh, something happened to Techno."

Tommy was sitting on the couch and pulled his knees up against his chest at those words, hugging his own legs. "Yeah, he died." The words still felt unreal, even with it sinking in more and more that they were true.

Ghostbur's expression didn't falter as he answered. "Dying is bad. It really hurts."

Phil stopped writing for barely a second before the scratching of pen against paper picked up again. Tommy wanted to ask him what he was working on, but hadn't yet, distracted by his own mulling thoughts.

Techno reached out and moved his hand through Ghostbur's transparent form, shuddering at the icy sensation with a surprised grunt. Tommy was more than familiar with how unpleasant that felt. Ghostbur didn't mind, hovering down a little to make it easier for the child to touch him. "Do you want some blue?" he asked. He offered some to the piglin.

Instead of accepting right away, Technoblade pushed up to get to the bed Phil had built him. When he picked up the pillow Tommy could see a humble pile of gold ingots hidden beneath. Techno retrieved one and went back to Ghostbur, taking the blue from him and giving him the gold in return. Ghostbur giggled when the gold fell through his palm and onto the floor.

Techno picked it back up and tried giving it to him again, snout wrinkled in perplexion when he couldn't. What happened then had to be the most inane loop of giving and receiving Tommy had ever witnessed, with Ghostbur handing blue to Technoblade over and over while the confused piglin tried to trade him the gold in return. Eventually, he had brought out his entire stash of ingots and was building a pile of them near Ghostbur's feet like a little shrine.

The scene was painful to watch in more ways than one.

"What are you writing?" Tommy asked Phil loudly, desperate to pay attention to anything else.

Phil grumbled softly at being pulled out of his concentration. Picking up both the notebook he had been working on and a spare one, he tossed it to Tommy on the couch with a laugh. "I'm keeping records. You can help me, make yourself useful for once."

"I am useful," Tommy complained, catching the book thrown at him. "What do you mean anyway by keeping records?" Opening the book revealed page after page of diary-like entries. Tommy recognized Phil's meticulous handwriting, slightly slanted but perfectly legible. Techno's handwriting was a mess by comparison, hasty scribbles that only the piglin himself could understand probably. He was sure some of these paragraphs were in code. Both blended together indiscriminately. "Are these-"

"They're histories. For when he's older again. Techno asked me to keep them for him, he doesn't like that he forgets everything."

Tommy's eyebrows drew up as he leafed back to the beginning of the most recent book Phil had been working on. Descriptions of an empire being built and before that, stories in which Tommy knew he wouldn't find himself because he hadn't even been born yet. Scriptures of past lives lost to time. A combination of Phil and Techno writing about the things they had done, and then Phil by himself describing a death. One cycle out of many.

Overwhelmingly, he wanted to curl up and cry.

He couldn't though, so Tommy just flipped to an empty page and started writing.