Author's note: Hello reader(s)! I would really appreciate feedback. Should I change something or just keep going the same way? Hope you enjoy :).
After getting up I decide to go and see how Maxon is doing. I gently knock on his door and let myself in. I see that he's still asleep so I take a look up at his picture collage. It hasn't been updated much since I was last here and I can still see the smiling faces of the Selection girls. The Elite are covering most of the other photos with my annoyed and smiling face covering most of it. I find the one where I have my arms wrapped around the queen's neck, and where we both look so happy. I feel a pang of sadness as I realize I'll never get to share another moment with her like that. Next to that picture is one of all the Elite, gathered in the Women's room. We're all laughing at the horrible way Kriss did up Celeste's hair. I still can't believe Celeste is gone. In the end she was the champion of our little group and all she really wanted was to feel worthy of living. I wipe the tears streaking down my face and don't let myself wallow too much as there is still much to be done. I turn to look at Maxon. He looks so relaxed when he sleeps. He won't get much sleep in the next week with all the planning and work he has to do so I should let him rest a little bit longer. I go over to him and run my hand through his hair. It feels so soft. Looking at him sleeping now, I can't believe I ever thought I couldn't love him.
He stirs and I gently run my hand along his arm.
"Good morning sunshine." I smile as I say it. He looks so blissful in this moment. There's only us right now, but soon he's completely awake and his expression turns more serious.
"How long have I been asleep for?"
"It's only 10 am. I thought I'd let you sleep in today. You will have a very busy week." I look at him carefully trying to gauge his expression while I talk.
"I was thinking that next Sunday would be a good day for the funeral." His face is expressionless, and he just nods. That is not the response I wanted.
"I better take care of the arrangements then." He gets up and starts to get dressed. I shake my head at him.
"You have a lot on your plate right now. Why don't you let me help you with all the arrangements?"
"Yes dear. That would be wonderful." He absentmindedly pecks me on the cheek and leaves the room. I shake my head as he clearly isn't listening to anything I say. I should just try and be supportive. He may even still be mad about the whole Aspen thing. Maybe I should ask him about it, or would that just cause him more distress? It would probably be too awkward to bring up. I decide to talk to him about it, but later when there is less going on. I take a last glance at the collage and then head down for breakfast.
I don't see Maxon at breakfast so afterwards I try to find him but to no avail, and soon I'm swept up in all of the planning and organization. Why was Maxon's coronation organized so early? I attempt to help the maids set up the grand hall and tell the florists where to set the flower arrangements, but all I can think about is Maxon. By lunch I'm exhausted and just want to hide in my room, but I know I have to get used to all of this so I continue. It also irritates me that every single decision seems to need my input. Who cares what shade of cream the napkins are! But I anyway return to helping and planning and telling a bunch of people what to do. I keep looking for Maxon, but he never shows up. I console myself with the fact that I'll at least see him later at dinner and attempt to distract myself from the worry by keeping myself busy until the early evening.
By the time I'm done I decide to take a break and head to my room to play a bit of piano. The music fills my head and I use it as an escape. I let the music envelop me until I hear a knock at the door. I sigh deeply and let Mary in to prepare me for dinner. I really want to talk to Maxon, but I haven't even managed to see him today after the morning. I'll just have to visit him in his room if he doesn't come to dinner.
We prepare in silence. I can only think about what I'm going to say to Maxon and in no time at all I'm all done and ready to head out. I look at myself in the mirror. Mary made me a gorgeous teal dress with a lace bodice leading into a huge floaty skirt. I smile at her.
"Thank you so much." She smiles back.
"I know you're going to do great miss."
I head out of the room and walk down to the front doors where I can see Maxon standing ready. He looks up at me as I walk towards him. I hide my smile and instead give him a pointed look. I want to seem annoyed but not needy.
"Where were you all day? You left me to fend for myself. The preparations were especially tiresome." He offers me his arm and just smiles up at me.
"Well, we'll just have to do something about that then. Sorry I wasn't available. I had meetings that lasted all afternoon." I give his arm a squeeze.
"Well, next time you better be there then."
"Of course." If Maxon can banter like this, he must be doing a bit better and that fact gives me some comfort.
"By the way, you look wonderful tonight." I look down at my dress.
"Thanks. Mary spent a long time working on the dress and my hair." I touch it lightly to make sure everything is perfect.
"Look, the first guests are arriving now." I look up and realize he's right. I've also missed my chance to talk to him properly. I'll just have to do it later.
For about the next half hour we greet guests and by the end of it my cheeks are aching. Many of them are important Twos and foreign royalty. Adele arrives with her children making me feel much better. Her casual manner and friendliness help ground me and give me a break from greeting all the judgemental guests. Finally, after everyone has arrived, we head to the dining room. I try to concentrate on my food and talking to the important Twos sitting next to me, but I keep glancing at Maxon. He doesn't even look my way and seems to be engrossed in his conversations. I try to do the same, but all the Twos seem to want to do is talk about my upcoming wedding to Maxon. After dinner we clear the space and turn it into a dance floor.
I get lots of congratulations on my engagement and l dance too many times to remember. I have already lost count of how many people I've danced with and just want to get off my aching feet. After what feels like ages, I finally get away and sit down in a chair at a small table in the back where I hope no one will find me. I only get to rest a short time and dread having to speak to another dignitary about the rebels, but luckily, it's only princess Nicoletta. She gives me a warm smile and a nod of acknowledgement.
"How are you doing? Looking forward to the coronation?" She asks in her wonderful Italian accent while taking a seat next to me.
"Oh, you know. It's another big event. A lot has happened and I'm just trying to take it all in."
She nods understandingly. I attempt to be friendly as I really do see her as a good friend and ally in this place.
"You should stay the week. The king's and queen's funeral will be held next weekend." She only takes a heartbeat before responding.
"Of course. You can show me around and we'll have a fun time, will we not?" This might be just what I needed.
"Yes, but I'm afraid I haven't been out of the palace in a while, and then only in a car."
"Never mind. We can explore together." She looks around, then leans in to whisper conspiratorially.
"How are the Northerners?" It only takes me a second to understand what she is implying.
"Good", I whisper back, "They managed to overpower the forces in the palace, and we've gotten a letter from August that says they're making their way through the Southern ranks."
She nods, satisfied and we continue talking about the goings on. Too soon someone interrupts our conversation, and I am about to shoo them away, when I realize it's Maxon.
"May I have this dance?" There is a twinkle in his eye. I smile coyly at him.
"I'm not sure. I may be too tired to dance anymore."
"Then I'll just have to ask your lovely looking friend." Nicoletta accepts giving me a cheeky look before Maxon whisks her off onto the dance floor. I watch them weave their way through the other dancers and move gracefully together. In no time at all Maxon has returned with Nicoletta and offers me his hand.
"As your king to be, you must oblige me with a dance." I shake my head but take his hand.
"Well, as you seem so intent on it, I guess I must oblige." I say smirking at him while he leads me gracefully into a waltz. Sadly, my joy only lasts a moment before I remember what I wanted to ask him.
"How are you feeling?" I try to ease into the conversation.
"Actually, I'm doing pretty well. I don't think I slept that much, but I managed to clear my head and somehow understand that they're truly gone." I nod, watching him carefully. I try to ask as casually as I can.
"Have you talked to Aspen yet." He stops for a moment but tries to quickly pick up the steps again. He doesn't look mad, but then again, he is good at hiding his emotions. It feels like forever until he answers.
"Not yet. But I will." He looks down at me, his expression loving. I release a breath I don't realize I am holding.
"Your happiness means the world to me and I may have been mad at the time. I mean you did keep a pretty big secret from me, and I felt trapped, betrayed, lost." I look up at his smiling face and tears begin to well in my eyes. He cups my cheek and continues.
"By getting shot I realized that it was you. You are the only one I could ever love, and losing you felt like losing a part of myself. I felt that by pushing you away, I could save both of us from heartbreak. I wanted nothing to do with the person who I wanted, who I needed, who lied to me and shattered my heart and tore down my world. I lied to myself. I told myself I would be happier without you. Yet. In that single moment I realized that you were what gave my world life. I know now that Aspen is, and was a huge part of your life and I don't want to be the one to take that away from you. I promise you, America, that I will do everything in my power to make you happy." I could feel tears running down my cheek, but all I could care about was Maxon. After all that doubt, all the fighting, how could I not see that it was always him. That warm open smile. I put him through so much and yet, he waited for me. Why was I so afraid? I rest my head on his shoulder and let his warmth wash over me. We dance late into the night. Only the two of us in the world.