Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews on the first chapter, I really appreciate them all. Hope you enjoy this next chapter:)
Just as Shelby was about to pull out of the driveway to head to the store, her phone pinged with a text notification; she quickly checked it, frowning in confusion when she saw it was from Rachel's dads. The text was informing her that Rachel had left her blanket at home and that Shelby could drop by to pick it up if Rachel needed it.
Shelby's heart clenched at the thought of her girl not having her comfort item with her and she wondered why Rachel hadn't said anything about forgetting her blanket. It dawned on her that it could have been the reason for Rachel's bad dreams and lack of sleeping the night before. She wondered if Rachel had left it at home on purpose, the thought making her heart clench even more.
The woman decided to drive by on the way home from the store to pick it up for her daughter, hoping to have a chat about it with her first.
Soon enough they were pulling out of the drive, singing along to songs from Broadway musicals that Rachel was playing using Shelby's phone. Shelby glanced over at the teenager and smiled fondly, this is what life is about, she thought to herself before jumping back into the song.
Rachel sung along to the songs, but was distracted by her tiredness and the thought of another sleepless night without her beloved blankie, she had managed to play it off as the nightmare the night before, but she wasn't sure if Shelby would believe the same excuse again tonight.
Shelby noticed Rachel wringing her hands together in her lap and reached over, keeping one hand on the wheel and gently placing her other over Rachel's fidgeting hands. "Are you okay, honey?" she asked, her voice laced with concern when Rachel refused to meet her eyes.
"I'm okay" she replied so quietly that Shelby had to strain to hear her. She pulled the car over at the next turn off and shut off the engine, turning in her seat to face her daughter, "you can tell me anything, babe" she assured her, placing a tender kiss on her cheek.
"Can...can we maybe stop by at my house, please?" Rachel asked nervously, her deep brown eyes finally locking with her Mom's worried ones.
Shelby nodded, "yes of course, sweetheart. Do you need to pick something up?" she asked knowingly, she was pretty sure it was the infamous blanket that Rachel wanted but she wanted the girl to feel like she could trust her enough to ask her herself.
Rachel sighed and located her gaze on her and Shelby's linked hands, "um, I just, I wanna get my blankie" she murmured quickly, attempting to hide her face behind her long hair. Shelby smiled as she gently brushed her hair back from her face, hooking a finger under her chin to tilt her head up to look at her. "That's completely fine, baby" she promised, "can I tell you a secret?" she asked afterwards, waiting for a nod before whispering "I still have my blankie from when I was a baby too".
Rachel giggled and looked in surprise at Shelby, "you do?" she asked curiously, giggling again when her Mom nodded. Shelby kissed her head once more before pulling out and heading off to Rachel's house, she was so happy the girl had felt comfortable enough to tell her the truth about why she wanted to go over there.
Rachel sat in the passengers seat, feeling just as happy as Shelby, her Mom always knew what to say to make her feel better, she felt kind of silly for worrying about telling her she had a blankie in the first place.
Shelby waited in the car whilst Rachel ran inside to grab her blanket, the teenager was about to go back to Shelby when on second thoughts, she ran back over to her closet and grabbed her lamb stuffed animal; she didn't sleep with it often, but it would be nice to have another comfort item with her.
"Feel better now, honey?" Shelby asked as a much happier Rachel slipped back into the seat beside her.
Rachel nodded and smiled, "I grabbed Lambie too" she informed her with a childlike innocence and excitement to her voice. Shelby couldn't help but grin, she loved the times when Rachel would act younger than her age, she felt like it gave her a small glimpse at what her daughter would have been like when she was little.
"So cute, darling" she replied, ruffling Rachel's hair before backing out of the Berry's drive and heading to the store.
"Do you want to leave those in the car, babe?" Shelby suggested when she walked around to Rachel's side of the car and saw her waiting for Shelby with the blankie clutched in one hand and her Lambie in the other. Rachel pouted and shook her head stubbornly making Shelby chuckle, "you want to take them in with us?".
Rachel nodded and smiled, bringing her blanket up to rub against her cheek, something she had always done for comfort. Shelby shrugged and decided not to make Rachel leave them in the car, she knew they would probably get a few strange looks at the 17 year old carrying a stuffie and a blankie around the store, but Shelby didn't have the heart to take them away when the girl clearly wanted them with her so badly.
After grabbing a cart they headed to the baking aisle so they could pick out which cake mix they wanted to have; on the way they passed by the candy aisle, Rachel immediately stopped and pulled on Shelby's hand. "Mama can I get some candy?" she asked hopefully, pouting and using her very best puppy eyes to look up at her Mom with.
Shelby looked back and turned around when she felt the tug on her hand, she lovingly ran her fingers through Rachel's hair and shook her head slightly, "Not today, babe" she said, starting to walk again and expecting Rachel to follow. She was surprised when the teenager stayed still on the spot, "but I want it" she argued in a whiny tone.
Shelby was silent for a moment, she had definitely not expected Rachel to fight her like that. "Honey, you had candy yesterday remember?" she asked before adding, "besides, we're going to bake a cake" in an excited tone, hoping to get her daughter's mind off the candy and excited too.
Rachel obviously wasn't happy with that answer in the slightest and angrily stomped her foot and crossed her arms over her chest, she didn't understand why she couldn't have candy?! Her Mom was being super unreasonable!
"I'd drop the attitude if I were you, little girl" Shelby scolded, she didn't know why Rachel was acting out so much over some candy, but there was no way she'd let her get away with it. She needed to learn that Shelby was the parent and what she said was final, the older woman knew she had to stick to her guns and not be pushed over by those gorgeous brown eyes.
"Come on, let's pick the cake mix so we can leave" Shelby said bluntly, not wanting to coddle Rachel after she had had such a bad attitude with her. Rachel stiffened at the sharp tone and shot her head up to look at her Mom who had started walking down the next aisle, her face crumpled when she realised Shelby was mad at her and she quickly walked after her with a mixture of angry and sad tears running down her face.
"Mama?" she sniffled, slipping her hand into Shelby's and leaning her head on her shoulder. Shelby instantly looked down when she heard the sadness in Rachel's voice and saw the tears freely flowing down her cheeks, "oh honey, it's not this much of a big deal" she cooed, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her head. She really didn't have any clue as to why the teenager was so upset. Rachel scowled and pulled away, she wanted candy, of course it was a big deal!
"I want candy!" she all but yelled, throwing her lamb and blanket onto the floor and crossing her arms over her chest again, sending a deep scowl in Shelby's direction.
"I don't care what you want Rachel, you're not getting candy right now" the older woman retorted, completely befuddled by Rachel's behavior.
"But why Mama?" she asked desperately, she didn't see any reason why she couldn't get some and it was upsetting her that Shelby was telling her no.
"Because Rachel, like I already told you, you had Twizzlers yesterday and we're having cake later" she repeated, getting more and more frustrated by Rachel's whining and begging. Hearing this, Rachel's face crumpled once again and the tears came back full force; Shelby took a deep breath and willed herself to calm down. "Rachie, Mama said no and no means no" she tried, using 'mama' and calling Rachel by her nickname in hopes of calming her down, "pick those up please, the floor is dirty" she added, gesturing to the blanket and lamb that Rachel had threw on the floor.
Rachel pouted and sniffled in response, reaching down and picking up her blanket and lamb from the ground and rubbing her eye with the blanket and holding the arm that was clutching Lambie out to Shelby, in a silent request for her Mom to cuddle her. Shelby smiled, pleased that Rachel had done what she was told and pulled her into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on her back and peppering kisses to the side of her head.
She knew it wasn't okay for Rachel to have tantrums or get this upset over something so small, but she couldn't help but soften under her child-like pout and snuggles. "Are you done being a grouchy butt?" Shelby teased as she pulled back from the hug and turned back to the cake boxes on the shelf. Rachel frowned and shrugged in reply, she was still super mad that she wasn't allowed candy...but her Mom's cuddles did make things a lot better.
"Which cake do you want to make, baby?" Shelby asked, holding out a few boxes for the girl to pick from and watching as she pouted and shrugged. "Don't care" she mumbled around the corner of the blankie that she was chewing on. It wasn't true at all, she really did care, she was just too upset, grumpy and tired to get herself out of her mood; in all honesty, she just wanted to go home and snuggled on the couch with her Mama and her blankie and take a nap.
Shelby sighed and nodded, gently pulling the blanket out from between Rachel's teeth, "okay, Mama will pick then" she said throwing a red velvet mix into the cart and taking Rachel's hand to lead her to the checkouts.
"Noooo, I don't want that" Rachel whined, pouting up t Shelby for what felt like the hundredth time that day, with tears threatening to spill again as she refused to move from her spot.
"What is with you today Rachel?" Shelby mumbled under her breath, she wasn't used to having a teenager around, let alone a moody one. Dealing with this definitely wasn't her specialty, but she knew she would get better at it over time.
"You wouldn't pick one, so Mama picked red velvet and that's what we're getting" Shelby informed her firmly, leaving no room for an argument.
"I don't like it Mama" Rachel told her, pointing to a chocolate one instead, "I want this one" she said, attempting to put it into the cart before she was stopped by Shelby.
The woman gently grabbed her hand and took the box from her, "if you don't like red velvet and want to get chocolate instead that's totally fine" she agreed, "but that's not the way you ask for it" she reprimanded, not liking the lack of manners Rachel was using.
"Can I please get chocolate, Mom?" Rachel asked, politely this time, letting herself smile a little when Shelby nodded and kissed her forehead.
"That's my girl" she praised, putting the red velvet back on the shelf and leading Rachel over to the checkouts.
By the time they had checked out and walked back to the car, Rachel was crying, very loudly, all over again; she had made the mistake of asking Shelby for candy one more time before they left the store and it did not go down well at all. Shelby knew she had to have a conversation with the teenager when they got home about why she was acting this way, she had been having tantrums, crying on and off all day and acting like a three year old and no matter how hard she tried, Shelby just couldn't work out what was going on with her.
Luckily for Shelby, ten minutes into the drive home Rachel had tired herself out with all the crying and was fast asleep in the passengers seat; the older woman hoped that her bad mood and attitude was down to being tired and once she woke up she would have a happy, well behaved teenager on her hands again.
Shelby hopped out of the car after she had parked in the drive and walked around to Rachel's side, opening the car door before gently shaking her leg and kissing her face, "Rachieeee, we're home" she cooed softly, keeping her voice soft. The sight was beyond cute, Rachel had her blankie wrapped around one arm and cuddled into her neck with the corner in her mouth, of course, and her other arm wrapped around Lambie.
Rachel yawned and whined as she woke up, squinting her eyes from the sudden light and nuzzling her head into Shelby's hand that was rubbing her cheek, "hi Mama" she said with a smile, her voice still husky from her sleep.
"Hi, babe. Let's go inside and bake our cake, yeah?" she suggested, stepping back so Rachel could get out of the car. The teenager, however, had a very different idea and simply held her arms up to Shelby and made whimpering noises along with a matching pout and begging eyes; Shelby chuckled and shook her head, nothing Rachel did surprised her anymore. "You want me to carry you?!" Shelby asked with a fake gasp, "I thought you're a big 17 year old now?" she teased, playfully rolling her eyes when all she got in reply was a head shake and more pouting.
She reached back into the car and unclipped Rachel's belt before very carefully lifting her from the car, the girl was a lot lighter and easier to carry that Shelby had expected, she wasn't the strongest person. Rachel's head instantly dropped to Shelby's chest and she buried her face in the crook of her Mom's neck, keeping an iron grip on her comfort items.
"You're too cute" Shelby whispered fondly, stroking away the hair from Rachel's face and closing the car door with her hip before heading inside; she gently sat Rachel down on the couch and smiled when she instantly laid down and closed her eyes.
Shelby decided to let Rachel take a nap and busied herself by tidying the living room and Rachel's room before setting out the things they would need for their baking and making a quick lunch of sandwiches and fruit for when Rachel woke up. After she had finished, she set their plates on the island counter then went into the living room and sat down on the couch, very carefully lifting Rachel's head and setting it on her lap. She just couldn't help herself, she wanted to cuddle and hold her girl any chance she got.
"There she is. Good nap, sleepyhead?" Shelby asked when Rachel's eyes fluttered open and she looked up at her Mom, sleepily nodding before rolling over and burying her face into Shelby's stomach. After a few minutes, Rachel had woken up a little more and turned her head, rubbing her eyes with her fists and sighing deeply, "Mama, I'm hungry" she said matter of factly with a definite nod of her head, making Shelby laugh.
"Oh is that so? Good job you have an amazing Mom who already made your lunch then!" Shelby teased, laughing harder when the sound of food seemed to give Rachel a burst of energy and she shot up and ran into the kitchen.
By the time Shelby had walked through to the kitchen to join her, Rachel had already half demolished her sandwich, "woah there, honey. Slow down a little, your tummy is gonna hurt" she warned, kissing the side of her head to show her she wasn't really mad.
Rachel giggled and blushed lightly, setting down her sandwich and chewing the mouthful she had, "can I have some water please?" she asked politely, she knew Shelby wouldn't mind her helping herself but it all still felt a little too new to Rachel for her to feel comfortable about going into Shelby's fridge without asking first.
"Sure baby, help yourself. This is your home too" Shelby reassured her, she wanted nothing more than for Rachel to feel happy and at home in her house.
"Can we make the cake now, Mom?" Rachel asked excitedly once they had both finished their lunches; Shelby was pleased to see her daughters mood had improved significantly since their trip to the store earlier and nodded in agreement, grabbing a bowl for Rachel to use.
Shelby smiled fondly as she watched Rachel clumsily mixing the batter, her brow was wrinkled in concentration and her pink tongue was poked out of the corner of her mouth. "Okay, and now we put the eggs in" Shelby told her, passing Rachel the bowl of two cracked eggs to tip in; Rachel did so and picked up the spoon again, beginning to mix the eggs in with the cake mix, concentrating just as hard as she was before. A couple of minutes passed until Shelby noticed Rachel was bouncing up and down slightly, at first she thought she was dancing along to the music coming from the kitchen speakers, and then she realised Rachel was doing it even when there was no song playing.
"Um, Rachie? Do you need to go to the bathroom?" she asked gently, not wanting to embarrass the teenager or make her feel like a child. Rachel barely looked away from the mixing bowl, "no Mama" she answered distractedly, dipping her finger into the batter and licking it cheekily before sending a cheesy grin over to Shelby.
The older woman laughed and shook her head at the girls antics, dipping her own finger into the bowl and dabbing it onto the end of Rachel's nose. "Mom!" Rachel gasped, unable to hold back her giggles; having a Mom was way better than she could have ever dreamed of, her Daddies would never do this with her!
Rachel watched intently as Shelby poured the cake batter into the tins and put them into the oven, "Mama?" Shelby heard Rachel whimper as she closed the over door and set the timer. She turned around and hummed in reply, her heart shattering when she saw the tears in Rachel's eyes and followed her gaze to a small puddle on the kitchen floor and the girls wet leggings.
Shelby's mind went into overdrive, first the tantrums and bad attitude and now an accident? The sound of Rachel's sobbing broke Shelby out of her daze and she quickly pulled her into her arms, rubbing soothing circles on her back with one hand and scratching gently at her scalp with the other, something that had worked to calm Rachel down after her nightmare the previous night. "Shh, shh, it's okay, sweet girl. Accidents happen" Shelby soothed, trying her best to make Rachel feel better and stop the tears.
"I d-didn't m-mean to" Rachel stuttered guiltily, pulling back from Shelby's hug, she was seventeen years old, she shouldn't e having accidents!
"Hey, it's okay, you were just super concentrated on mixing the batter" Shelby tried to reassure her, "I saw you doing a little potty dance, I should've made you go to the bathroom" she added, hoping that if she shifted some of the blame onto herself it would make Rachel feel less bad and embarrassed.
Rachel didn't answer but allowed herself to be pulled back into Shelby's arms; they stood cuddling for a while, Shelby cooing reassuring words into Rachel's ear and gently rocking them side to side until the tears slowed. "I didn't mean to Mama" Rachel whimpered again, roughly rubbing at her stinging eyes with her fists; Shelby gently pulled her hands away from her face, worried that the girl would irritate her eye and smiled sadly at her, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear.
"Darling, I know you didn't mean to. It was just an acc-" she started, only to be interrupted by Rachel, "but Mom, I'm 17, I shouldn't be having accidents" she argued in an embarrassed tone, refusing to meet Shelby's eyes.
"It happens to everyone, baby girl. Now, how about you go take a shower, whilst Mama cleans the floor, you can't be very comfortable in cold, wet pants. By the time you're done, the cake will be cooked and we can eat and watch a movie" Shelby suggested, kissing Rachel's pouty lips maternally.
Rachel silently nodded and stepped around the puddle, going upstairs to shower and put clean clothes on; Shelby sighed and rubbed her temples, she felt so bad for her poor girl, she had had a rough few days with her nightmare and now this. All she wanted to do was to make everything better for her. Shelby quickly, but thoroughly, cleaned and disinfected the kitchen floor, washing her hands before grabbing her phone and video calling her old friend, Cassandra, who was a therapist and psychiatrist. She was hoping her friend could shed some light on why Rachel had been acting the way she was.
"I think what you're describing is age regression, where an adult or teenager regresses back to their younger years. Rachel seems to be doing it subconsciously, hence having the accident, but usually people pick an age that they want to regress to and can change their mindset to think and act exactly like that age. People regress for all kinds of reasons" Cassandra informed her, "my guess would be that Rachel is acting this way because she didn't have a Mom the first time she was a child, so she's trying to see what it would feel like to be young child with a Mom" she explained.
Shelby nodded, deep in thought, it made sense to her that Rachel was curious as to what having a Mom as a little girl felt like, Shelby herself was definitely curious about what it would feel like to be a Mom to a baby rather than a teenager.
"So what do I do?" she asked with a sigh, this was all so confusing to her, it was a lot to think about and she wanted to do the right thing by her daughter.
"Well, do you feel the same way as Rachel? Have you wondered what it would have felt like to be her Mom when she was a toddler?" Cassandra asked knowingly, she had been there for all the times, before Rachel had come back into Shelby's life, that Shelby had cried about not having her baby and all the things she had missed.
"Oh definitely. I dream about being able to hold a little baby Rachel, feeding her, bathing her, picking out cute clothes and changing her. There's nothing I want more. But, wouldn't it be kind of, I don't know, weird for a fully grown teenager to be my baby?" she asked skeptically. Cassandra shook her head, "not at all, sure it would feel strange for you both to settle into the roles and adjust to a Mama-baby relationship rather than a Mom-teenager one, but I really think it could be good for both of you" she said honestly, "at least have a talk with Rachel about it and see where her mind is at with this" she suggested.
Shelby took a deep breath and nodded in agreement, "okay, I'll do some research and then sit her down for a serious chat" she told her, thanking her friend before hanging up and grabbing her computer, opening a new tab to research age regression.
Rachel stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself, walking over to the bathroom counter and staring at herself in the mirror, she had so many emotions running through her, embarrassment, guilt, sadness. God, she wished she could just shrink into a little baby and have Shelby take care of her every need, she wanted her Mommy to clean her and help her get dressed, to hold her close and rock her to sleep. Rachel shook her head and quickly brushed those thoughts away, not wanting to dwell on something she knew could never happen. The teenager quickly dried herself off and changed into her sweatpants and a hoodie before going downstairs to find Shelby.
Shelby looked up as she heard Rachel on the last step of the stairs and smiled warmly, closing her laptop, she had found out a good amount about age regression and age play and she felt prepared enough to finally confront Rachel about it all.
"All better, stinky?" she teased, smiling when it extracted a small giggle and nod from Rachel, "come here, let Mama fix your hair" she said when she noticed the girls long, brown hair messily framing her face, reminding her of a lions mane.
Shelby patted the space between her legs and Rachel plonked herself down, humming in contentment when her Mom began combing out the knots and braiding her hair. "So Rachie, I've noticed some changes in you today and I just wondered if we could talk about it?" Shelby started, seeing that her playing with Rachel's hair was relaxing her and decided to use the opportunity to start the conversation.
Rachel stiffened and suddenly got very nervous, she thought she had been subtle with her changes, but obviously not; after not receiving a reply, Shelby pushed a little more. "Don't get me wrong, I think it's adorable how you've been acting, honey. I talked to a friend of mine about it-" Rachel cut her off with a loud, disgruntled whine, clearly not happy that her Mom had been discussing her with someone she didn't know. "It's okay, she's super nice, and she told me that she thinks you're age regressing because you missed out on having a Mama when you were very little and that it might be your way of experiencing another childhood, but this time with a mother" Shelby explained, gently scratching at Rachel's scalp and being careful not to make her feel like how she was acting was wrong.
"I'm not judging you, baby girl. I just want to know what's going on in that sweet mind of yours" Rachel nodded at Shelby's words and took a moment to collect her thoughts, simply enjoying the feeling of her Mom fixing her hair and the closeness of their new bond.
"I guess your friend is right" she whispered, looking down at her hands and wringing them together in her lap, "I just, I love my Dads, so much, but they just aren't the same as having a Mom. I just want that feeling of having my Mama raise me and take care of me. Now that I have you in my life, I can't help wishing I was a baby again so we could start from the beginning together" she rushed out in one breath, knowing she would back out from telling Shelby how she really felt if she stopped talking long enough to think about what she was saying.
Shelby smiled and nodded in agreement as she tied off one of Rachel's braids, "I understand that, honey. I feel the same way, don't get me wrong I absolutely love having a teenage daughter and I love you just the way you are; but I also wonder what it would have been like to be your Mom when you were toddling around discovering the world for the very first time" she admitted, noticing the way Rachel's shoulders slumped in relief when she heard that her Mom felt the same way as her.
"So... what happens now?" Rachel asked when Shelby tied off her last braid after a few minutes of silence; the older brunette gently pulled Rachel to sit next to her on the couch, her heart warming when the teenager instantly snuggled into her. Shelby thought for a moment, trying hard to collect her thoughts, "I looked up some things about age regression while you were taking your shower" she said gently, pausing to see Rachel's reaction and continuing when she saw a slight smile from the girl. "There's something called age play, where you can pick an age to be and you act like that age, you have a Mama, which would be me, and you're treated and taken care of as if you're really that age" Shelby explained, instantly getting concerned when Rachel looked at her with watery eyes.
"Hey, it's okay, we don't have to do that, it was just an idea, honey" she quickly backtracked, stopping when Rachel shook her head and let out the brightest smile Shelby had ever seen from her.
"No, that's exactly what I want" she cried, though a part of her was still concerned, "isn't it kind of weird though, Mom? I mean I'm 17, I shouldn't be acting like a baby..." she trailed off.
"Baby, this isn't weird, it's something a lot of people do. It doesn't have to be a constant thing, you can slip in and out of your little mindset whenever you want to" Shelby told her, shifting Rachel to lay on top of her so she could hold her tight. Rachel nodded and thought for a moment, she had a million thoughts running around her head, she wanted this so badly, but it was very scary to her. She wanted to be Shelby's little baby girl again but she didn't want anyone to find out.
"I wanna try it" she finally decided, hiding her lightly blushing face in Shelby's chest, "but I don't want anyone to find out, especially not Quinn and Santana" she added with worry in her tone, she knew those two would make her life hell if they found out, not to mention the whole school would know within an hour.
Shelby had to agree with Rachel on that one, those two cheerleaders could ruin anyone's lives in a matter of seconds, "no one has to know except me and you, sweetheart. We'll keep it strictly within my house and if one day you feel comfortable to be outside as your little self, then we'll jump that hurdle when we reach it" she promised, linking her own pinky with Rachel's to show he was serious and wouldn't tell a soul.
"I think I wanna be two, is that okay Mom?" Rachel asked a few minutes later after thinking it through in her head, it was still young enough to need Shelby's help with everything, but it was old enough to have a small range of speech to communicate with and express herself to Shelby with. The older woman nodded, "of course, this is going to be however you want it to be" she replied, "I don't have all the supplies we'll need like diapers or pacifiers, but we can start now and make do with what we have. I'm pretty sure I still have a few bottles from when I used to babysit my friends little girl and we can run to the store in the morning to pick out your own stuff" she added, making sure Rachel knew it was okay to start whenever she wanted.
"I'm nervous Mama" Rachel admitted quietly, "I don't know how to get into my 'little' mindset" she said worriedly, biting at the skin around her nails, like she always had whenever she got anxious or nervous. Shelby gently pulled her hand away from her mouth and kissed her head, "well, Mama can help with that" she offered, before pulling Rachel into her lap and peppering her face with loving kisses.
"Mama's little girl" she cooed, talking to Rachel in the same way you would talk to a two year old, hoping it would help her slip into a younger mindset. Bright, innocent giggles poured from Rachel's mouth as she slowly let her worries go and put all her trust into Shelby.