Hey all! Shout out to Shey72 for the encouraging review and the very touching condolence. I truly appreciate it. It has been hard trying to get back into writing since, but I'm getting there. Here is the next chapter of these funny little one-shots. This time we get Lestrade in on the fun. Though he doesn't see anything fun in this particular case. I'm not sure why I went with a horse racing theme here. It really was, you know... spur of the moment. HAH! Sorry, couldn't resist the pun. Okay, on with the short. Enjoy and please review! It really brightens my day.
Spur of the Moment
"There is no way Mr. Holmes." Inspector Lestrade stared very confused at Sherlock Holmes.
"I assure it is quite possible Lestrade." Holmes stood next to Lestrade with his usual confidant air and smug features.
"I refuse to believe it. You have constantly castigated the Yard in the past for coming to such simplistic conclusions."
"I continue to stand by that inference. However, in this case, it is as simplistic as what I have related to you."
Inspector Lestrade could not believe what he was hearing. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. His temples began to throb dully. No matter how many times Holmes relayed the facts to him, it just could not possibly be that simple. If this was Holmes' way of taking more delight at the Yard's expensive, he would most definitely end this professional relationship. He refused to be the subject of anymore jeers and jibes among his colleagues. Then again, his colleagues were also liable to fall into this category as well. In fact even more so since Sherlock Holmes has more than once made it clear that Lestrade himself was the best of a bad lot. That is the only reason the inspector did not not send the consulting detective packing... yet.
"Alright Mr. Holmes. Once more… please enlighten me… again... as to how His Lordship's coach ended up in the River Thames?"
Sherlock Holmes related for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes how the coach of Lord Hillhurst ended up in the Thames. The consultant tried to hide his amusement at Lestrade's bewilderment. However, it grew increasingly more difficult with each telling of the extraordinary circumstances.
"As I have already explained to you my dear Lestrade, it was a simple case of heavy going. You see, down the stretch the horse's shoe on its right front hoof had a loose nail that dented on impact with the broken cobblestone. When you add the recent rain which made the road slick, this caused the poor creature's knee to buckle. Due to the speed at which the horse was going versus the weight of the carriage, just enough force was created to send the carriage pummeling over the edge. It can be said the whole fiasco ended in what you could call a miracle. Not only did it not come a cropper right away; the coachman and the horse were able to be saved just under the wire. It was only after they were rescued that the carriage itself went over into the river due to the shifting in weight distribution."
Lestrade could not believe his ears. This had to be one of the most outrageous stories he had heard to date. Was he really expected to believe this? The sleuth wasn't helping with his racing puns. What's more, this still didn't answer the more pressing question.
"Yes, yes, I get that… surprisingly. What I don't understand is why this even happened in the first place!? Why in the queen's name were they racing? Witnesses reported that the carriages were charging about with free rein. Did they think they were at the bloody track!? People could have been killed for Pete's sake! Especially when the horse knocked up and knuckled!" Great, now he was speaking in racing jargon, the inspector mentally kicked himself.
"Just be thankful inspector. At least they were on the outskirts and not in the city."
"Yes, well that's beside the point. You still didn't answer me. The coachman of the second carriage claims His Lordship wanted to see his horses go neck and neck. But for heaven's sake, why have the carriages hitched to the horses? If he really wanted such a nonsensical contest, why not just race the horses themselves? What would possess Lord Hillhurst to decide to compete his own horses against each other anyway?"
"Well according to the coachman of the former carriage, what our other coachman reported seems to be the very case. It would appear His Lordship had a wager going with Duke Wellington, his neighbor. He proposed the idea that the horses could hit full stride even without the allowance from the carriage weight. Lord Hillhurst was intrigued by the prospect of testing this theory. Given his enthusiasm for the sport, he couldn't resist placing his bets with the Duke."
"Then why not bring them to the bleedin' racecourse!?" Lestrade asked, growing increasingly more frustrated.
"Spur of the moment." Holmes replied flatly.
Lestrade blinked. "Spur… of... the moment?"
Holmes nodded. Lestrade's fists tightened. Of all the utterly ridiculous things he has seen and heard nobility do in his years with the Yard, this took the cake. These elite really had too much time and money on their hands and no regard for the safety of others. Normally, he'd be instructed to look the other way; not today however. There was no way he would let them off the hook. That was until Lord Hillhurst himself approached the inspector with sincerest apologies. Holmes could see the sincerity in the foolish nobleman's eyes and demeanor. With the promise to recompense the village for the trouble along with the promise to not pull another foolish stunt again, Lestrade let the nobles off with the heavy fines and a stern warning
As Lestrade and Holmes left the scene, the inspector once more turned to the consulting detective. "Spur of the moment Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes nodded again, biting his lip to suppress another chuckle. "Indeed my dear Lestrade. A spur of the moment."