What is poppin' boys and girls! Back for another chapter of I'll write what I want because I want to! Thank you for being here.
Good reception from the last chapter and people really liked to see Jaune as a pessimistic asshole. Well good. Cause He's fun to write. Also, more characters will be popping in and out of the story as it goes on, so if you're missing your fav they might be here soon.
Thank you for the follow favs and reviews!
MM Browsing - You could say that yes. :P
MT's Souless6 - Thank you so much, I haven't seen many completely dumb but funny fanfics lately so I'm glad you enjoy it!
Heku03- Ask and you shall receive :)
Guest1- I'm sure he has thought about joining the army, haha!
Guest2 - I'm sure his life will get better soon!
Please enjoy, or don't, I'm not your dad.
I do not own RWBY!
What welcomed the blonde student back once he entered the dorm were the heated grunts and moans coming from behind Neptune's door. He slammed the door behind him angrily and walked into the kitchen, the 'love making' had fallen silent after the bang of the door and rushed shuffling could now be heard.
"Honey, I'm home!" He shouted over the noise.
Jaune let an accomplished smile grace his face and flung open the fridge door, looking for sustenance. Finding nothing edible, he quickly gave up his search and settled on a, freshly stocked, bottle of Neptune's beer. "Fuck him." He shrugged, twisting off the cap and taking a seat, mentally preparing for the oncoming storm.
As if on cue, the door flew open and a very pissed off Dew stormed out with a very apologetic Neptune in tow. "I honestly had no idea he'd be back this early." The blue haired boy tried to explain.
"Arc!" The girl screeched "What the hell are you doing here?"
Jaune stared at her, confused. "Dew? To what do we owe the pleasure of you gracing our dorm room?" He feigned ignorance while wearing his fakest smile.
"Do not play dumb with me." She pointed threateningly at the beer drinking blonde "I'll have you sacked for this!"
"Irony." He replied simply.
Now it was Dew's turn to look confused "What on earth are you talking about? What is ironic?"
"Welllll..." Jaune glanced over to his roommate who was trying his best to stay out of the crossfire "Earlier at work, you said that we work under you. Yet, here you are tonight, working under Neptune." He grinned mischievously. He had been having a bad night, sue him for taking it out on his friends latest pull.
Silence. Dew's face had changed to a deep crimson, out of embarrassment or anger, he couldn't tell, nor did he care. A supressed snigger eventually broke the silence as Neptune could no longer hold his amusement.
Dew instantly spun around, now targeting her blue haired fling "And what exactly do you find amusing?" She glared daggers at the boy.
"I mean..." He looked over her shoulders at his roommate "That was pretty funny." He admitted.
"You both disgust me!" She yelled, throwing her hands up in frustration as she made her leave.
"See ya at work!" Jaune called back.
"I'm not working for the rest of the week, so I guess I'll see you the night after your shift?" Neptune, too, called out after the girl.
"Screw both of you!" She called from down the hall outside the dorm.
"Bro," The bluenette turned to his friend, a hint of excitement in his blue eyes "Do you think she would screw both of us?"
Jaune put a finger to his chin thoughtfully "You, my friend, are an idiot." He took a swig from the bottle "Got any food?" He asked, both teens seemed to act as if the last five minutes hadn't actually happened.
"I can order a pizza?" Neptune suggested, already scrolling through the various food delivery apps he had installed "I'm kinda feeling pepperoni if I'm being honest."
"I don't care what toppings, I just need food." Jaune whined.
"Fine, one large pepperoni pizza it is." The womanizer ordered the food and placed his phone on the table "Grab us a beer too, please."
"You got legs."
"I also ordered the pizza." He shot back.
"Fair." The blonde got up and grabbed two more bottles, sliding one across to his friend "I ran into your girlfriend tonight." He uncapped his second bottle.
"Girlfirend? I don't have a girlfriend." Neptune responded, opening his own beer "Do you honestly think I'd be sleeping with Dew if I had a girlfriend?"
Jaune didn't need to respond to that question, because his face said it all, he did though "Yes." Came the simple and obvious answer "Are you kidding me?"
Neptune gasped and placed a hand over his heart "I would never ruin the honour of a relationship. I can't believe yo... What are you doing?"
Jaune had dialled a number and hit loud speaker.
"Yo!" Came the voice of Sun on the other end.
"Hey Sun, do you think Neptune would ever cheat on a girl?" Jaune repeated the question to their friend.
A fit of laughter erupted through the phone "Do bears shit in the woods?!" Sun replied though laughs.
Neptune pouted "I need new friends..." He moaned, bringing the bottle to his lips.
"Thanks Sun! See ya later." Jaune laughed himself and hit end call "See. I wasn't just being rude."
"Yeah yeah, whatever, dick." Neptune grumbled "So, who did you actually bump into then?"
"Schnee. She said something about getting ready for a date with you tomorrow." He explained.
Neptune paled and his features fell "Weiss is delusional..." His tone dropped and Jaune swore that the temperature of the room dropped at just mentioning her name "We both agreed it would be a one night stand, but she hasn't left me alone since! I was secretly overjoyed when you interrupted us the other day."
Jaune shook his head "What is rule one of the Broble?"
"Never stick dick in crazy..." The blue boy recited the rule.
"And what is rule two?"
"If you do ever stick dick in crazy, book a flight and get the fuck out of there..."
"You know what you gotta do." Jaune sighed "You will be missed, but it's for the best."
"I'm not going anywhere." Neptune shook his head "I'll just be more stern when I cut things off tomorrow... Before the party, obviously." He added, can't pick up more girls with a Weiss following your every move, he thought.
"What party?" The pessimistic boy raised an eyebrow.
"Russel Thrush is throwing a party and we are going."
Jaune felt an ominous feeling form in the pit of his stomach "What do you mean by 'we'?"
Neptune twiddled his thumbs awkwardly "Sun kinda got both of us invites."
"I'm not going."
"Come on! It'll be fun!" Nep argued "Maybe a girl will find you interesting and hook up with your sorry ass."
Ah, there it is, the burning sensation of anger rising up. Jaune's eye twitched as he tried to supress the demons telling him to strangle the boy in front of him "I'm telling you now, I am definitely not going to any party."
"But!" Neptune was interrupted by a knock on the door "Jesus, that was quick."
Jaune went to answer the door, body moving on the smell of the food alone.
"Uh, Hello." An awkward looking boy spoke, opening up a delivery bag "Pizza for Neptune..." He spoke meekly.
"Gimmie." Jaune ordered, snatching the box from the boys hands and causing him to flinch in fear.
"Why, hello beauti... Who the hell are you? Where's the hot girl I specifically asked for?" Neptune pointed accusingly at the young delivery boy. He had put in special instructions for the delivery to be made by a female and this is what he gets?
"Umm, there are no girls working tonight..."
"Neptune? Why's he still stood there?" Jaune asked through a mouthful of cheesy goodness.
"I don't know, buddy." Neptune frowned "Hey, get out of here already." He shooed the boy away.
"What about my tip?" He asked innocently.
"Here's a tip for ya." Neptune nodded with a sly smile "Be a girl next time." He yelled in anger, moving to shut the door.
The boys hand shot forward, catching Neptune's collar "Do you know who I am?" The boys personality had done a complete 180 "I am Oscar Pine and I demand respect!"
"Yeah, okay, shrimp." The taller boy snorted, gripping Oscar's shirt and pulling him off of his feet "What should we do about our little friend here?" He turned to ask Jaune.
"Can you throw him out already? Pizza's getting cold." He responded, biting down on another slice. Not really caring what he did, all he wanted to do was to eat and then sleep. Some people had lectures in the morning.
"Put me down!" Oscar cried out in anger "I shall rain fire down upon your very souls! Just you watch. One of these days you'll all work for me! Every single one of you is a peasant!" The boy tried to kick his holder, but Neptune just threw him out of the door.
"What ever, kid. Here." He threw down a 5 Lien note towards the now tearful boy.
Once more the delivery boys personality switched "Thank you for the generous tip!" He bowed, a huge smile now hung on his face "Please order with us again in the future and remember, we strive for perfect customer service!"
Both students wore confused and slightly scared expressions at the younger boy's sudden changes in personality, but before they could say anything, Oscar had already zoomed out of the building.
"What just happened?" Neptune questioned the last five minutes of his life.
"You got bullied by a literal kid into giving a tip." Jaune stated.
"Shut up."
~~~Vale University~~~
"I'm pretty sure you are all sick of hearing me say this by now..." Professor Goodwitch spoke to the class, despite the topic, she couldn't contain her pleasure filled grin "But I seriously expect better from all of you."
Jaune and Ren could feel her gaze fall on them for a second and they both tensed up.
"I'm going to be handing back your pathetic attempts and let you see for yourselves how disappointed I am." She walked throughout the room, dishing out paper to each student. Every time a student received their sheet their face would instantly drop, one girl even broke out in tears. "Ah, Lie Ren! Excellent work." She slid the paper on to his desk and his face brightened up.
"An A?!" The usually quiet Ren practically screamed in joy.
"Oh, my apologies." Goodwitch scooped up the paper "This is yours." Her grin growing wider as she slapped down another paper with a large C marked down on it "I expect way more from you, Ren." She tutted in fake disappointment, practically glowing from the failed students reactions. "And lastly, Mr Arc."
"Professor." Jaune tried to act nonchalant by acting like his grade didn't bother him when in actual fact, he died a little inside every time he got a bad grade.
"You did impress me." She frowned, revealing his B grade "I tried to find any mistakes that I could mark you down on, but it looks like you beat me." She sighed sadly, going back to the front of the class "How could you all do worse than Arc?" She asked the now depressed class.
"I'm going to kill myself..." Ren muttered under his breath "I'm going to do it..."
Jaune was quite the opposite, holding up his paper with stars in his eyes "This is fucking mint! Going straight on the fridge." He couldn't contain his joy.
Ren shot him a blank stare "How did you do better than me?!"
"Umm... I studied?" Jaune answered simply "You need to cheer up, it's only one grade, right?"
"...I want to die, so I am going home..." Ren got up from his seat and left the room, leaving a confused Jaune behind.
"Psstt."
The blonde turned his head to be greeted by Neon Katt, the second biggest party girl on campus and also one of the biggest idiots. Jaune was surprised she even made it in to University.
"Just wanna remind you we have that biology exam coming up." She gave him a thumbs up and a wink "Make sure you study for it."
"I have been, thanks..." Jaune replied to the girl.
"Oh! And can you shift a little to the left during the exam? Makes it easier to see your answers." She beamed gleefully at the boy.
"Absolutely not." Jaune huffed "Maybe if you studied more you wouldn't need to cheat."
"Studying is so boringgggggg!" The ginger cat girl whined "I'd much rather be partying. Oh! Speaking of partying, are you going to Russel's tonight?" She asked "I can make it worth your while if you let me see your answers." She purred seductively.
Jaune shook off the oncoming blush "Not if I can help it." He shot her down.
"I thought you were some kind of sexually driven creep?" Neon hummed "It's what Weiss told me."
"Schnee..." He growled "What ever you heard was a mistake." He said, grabbing his bag and standing up and making his way to the exit.
~~~Vale University~~~
"Why is there a video camera in my face?" Jaune asked irritated by the sudden invasion of his privacy. All he wanted to do was eat his Cheerios and listen to his nightcore in peace.
"It's our assignment, dude." Neptune replied, not moving the camera from the blondes face.
"Yeah." Sun agreed "We have to make a documentary on the most interesting thing we know. And you're pretty much a walking disaster!" Sun laughed "It'll be an easy A."
"How am I a walking disaster?" Jaune let out a tired sigh.
"Didn't you get choked out by a mute in an ice cream shop?" Neptune asked.
"And then dropped your ice cream after leaving?" Sun added.
"And the whole creep thing."
"That was your fault!" Jaune pointed at the duo "You morons tripped me up and I fell over and ended up looking under that bitch Schnee's skirt!" He yelled at the two boys "It's your fault that I'm being labelled as a creep!"
"You get all that?" Sun asked.
"You know it!" Neptune replied, holding the camera up with one hand while high-fiving Sun with the other "Like you said, easy A!"
"I hate you both."
"Love ya too, buddy." Sun replied "Now get dressed."
"I told you I'm not going."
"And we told you that you are."
"Not a chance. I think Neon will try to touch me..." He shuddered at her trying to seduce him for exam answers "I'm not going."
"Stop being a little bitch!" Neptune exploded "I told Weiss to back off, Sun is heartbroken over Blake and you have been single forever. We are all going to get laid tonight!" Neptune broke out into a rally "No more shall we sit in our rooms alone and ashamed! This is the night for change. Big things will be happening tonight my boys! And we are going to be the centre of those changes!"
As the blue haired Casanova continued to speak, Jaune and Sun both felt a fire building in the very depths of their souls.
"Yeah, I don't need Blake to have a good time!" Sun pumped his fist in the air.
"Fuck Schnee!" Jaune too, pumped his fist in the air.
"Yeah! Let's go boys!" Neptune cheered as Jaune dashed into his room to get changed.
~~~Vale University~~~
Jaune downed his fourth rum and coke and frowned "Did you seriously come up with a motivational speech just so you could record me at a party?"
"Yeah Neptune." Sun shook his head "We're here to have fun and stuff, not record 'Jaune Arc Thou An Idiot?'"
"That's not the name of the project." Neptune said for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day "Fine! I'll put the camera down." He placed the object on a nearby shelf and poured himself another drink "This party is pretty cool though. Too many boys though..."
"There's more girls than boys." Sun stated.
"So?"
"Fair point."
Jaune poured himself another Rum and went to grab the coke, but much to his dismay, the bottle was empty "Dammit..." He groaned "Hey Russel!" Jaune called out to the host "Where's the coke?"
"My room. Second door on the left." The mohawked boy answered back over the loud music.
"I'll be right back." He told his friends, walking over to Russel's room.
"Bro! Blake's here!" Sun started to panic, seeing the bow wearing, cat faunus walk into the room with Yang and Weiss "What do I do?"
"Nothing, Man. Relax." Neptune shot a passing girl a wink "Just be cool."
"Right." Sun straightened up "Cool... Gotcha."
"Hey boys!" Yang sauntered over to the duo "You're looking good tonight, Sun." She complimented the monkey.
"Not as good as you, Yang. Damnnnnn!" Neptune whistled, drinking in the sight of the blonde bombshell.
"Not happening, Nep." Yang laughed as the boy merely shrugged and moved on to a different girl.
"How ya holding up?" Yang asked.
"I'm pretty good, I suppose... How's Blake?" He said nervously.
"She's fine. Why not go talk to her?" The girl suggested "What's the worst that could happen?"
"I get rejected again."
"Then just talk to her. No need to try and pick her up." Yang smiled at him "If you like her this much then just go and be yourself and get to know her a bit more."
"That's actually a good idea." Sun perked up "Watch out Blake, here I come!" He charged off into the room said girl had just entered.
"This is ridiculous!" Weiss stomped her way over to her blonde friend "There's no wine to be found in this place."
"Why not just have some vodka or something?" Yang raised an eyebrow "This is a party, not a formal gathering after all."
"I won't lower myself to drink such disgusting things." The white haired heiress grabbed a passing Russel "Where is the wine?" She demanded to know.
"I think there's some in my room." He pointed over to the second door on the left "Help yourself."
"I think I will." Weiss skipped away towards the room.
Russel just shook his head "She seems bitchier than normal. Something happen?"
"Ah, something about boys being dumb..." Yang chuckled lightly "You know what she's like."
"That I do." He gave a laugh himself "How'd this get out of my room?" He asked no one in particular, picking up the video camera. With a shrug he walked over to his door, opened it and threw the camera in, closing the door once he was done. "Weird..." He laughed before going back to partying.
Weiss yelped in shock as the object flew passed her, landing on a beanbag. Seriously, who owns a beanbag in this day and age? She thought. She didn't know if it was the pre-drinks that she had consumed at Yang's that was making her more mad or the fact she couldn't find the damn wine.
"Oh great! You're here." Came the irritable voice of one Jaune Arc. The boy emerged from Russel's en-suite holding a bottle of Rum.
"Imagine that. The creep is creeping around. Crazy." She finally found the bottle she was after and stood to face the blonde boy.
"Good one." Jaune said, taking a large mouthful of rum "What's it like pining after a boy that just uses you for sex?" He countered "I may be a 'creep' but at least I have self respect."
Weiss took a seat on the bed and threw one slender leg over the other. Her baby blue dress hugged her lithe figure nicely and is cut off halfway down the thigh, Showing off her pale legs. She twisted the cap off of the rose wine and put it to her lips, taking in a quarter of the bottle "You know something." Her voice became low "All the boys at this Uni are so boring."
"What do you mean? No one up to your standard, princess." Jaune spat at the girl, not realising her eyes had softened.
"Guess you could say that." She wore a sad smile, before swallowing another quarter of wine. Her face turned cold and hard once more "Everyone is so fucking nice to me! All because of who I am." She gripped the bottle tighter and her words came out venomous.
"Who you are? A colossal bitch?" Jaune laughed, taking a single step closer to the girl "Who on earth would be nice to a bitch like you?"
Weiss felt her heart beat faster and she rubbed her thighs together "Yeah, I'd rather be a bitch than whatever you are. A small, lonely creep." She sung.
Jaune had finally had enough "I told you what happened was an accident. I got tripped up and ended up seeing your underwear! I apologised already, now get over it." Another step.
"You said black wasn't my colour!" She added, getting to her own feet.
"And I stand by it!" Jaune screamed, luckily, the sound outside the room was loud enough to drown out the argument. "I think white is more your colour!"
"You mean like this?" Weiss slid out of her dress revealing a matching set of white, laced undergarments.
"What the hell are you doing?" Jaune looked away, face fully red.
She took a final step towards the blonde and gently cupped his cheek "It turns me on when you treat me like crap." She admitted.
"What is wrong with you?" Jaune tried to look away from the girl, but her hand kept his face in place. He slender body was practically glowing against the lights shining in from out the windows and he could just make out her erect nipples through the cloth of her bra.
"Every other guy treats me the same and it's infuriating. I'm not some kind of princess that needs a big strong man to help her. I'm sick of being treated like I'm one bad word away from breaking." She explained.
"You've kinda ruined my life. Because of you, everyone calls me a creep." Jaune responded, fighting off the stiffness that was forming in his jeans by pushing the girl away "I want absolutely nothing to do with you."
"Call me a bitch." She ordered.
"...No..." Jaune swallowed a lump in his throat. He couldn't be attracted to Weiss, he wouldn't allow it. Even if she was extremely gorgeous and practically begging for it. There was no way...
"Do it." She got up on her tip toes and whispered in his ear before nibbling on it.
"Y.. You bitch..." The words were out of his mouth before he could think and the moan of pleasure Weiss let out only confused his broken mind even more.
"Good boy." She stroked his hair "Now, I'm going to go lock the door and you are going to get out of those clothes." She ordered, gracefully skipping over to the door.
Jaune stared at her the whole time, noticing how plump her backside actually was. He waited for her to lock the door and come back over before deciding to take off his clothes or not.
"Well?" She asked impatiently, throwing a hand on her hip "I'm not pranking you, Jaune." She reached around her back and unclasped her bra, letting the item fall to the floor.
'Think of the Broble! Think of the damn Broble!' His brain screamed at him as he flung the shirt off from his body "Lord forgive me." He muttered, sliding out of his jeans.
"This hard already?" Weiss eyed the tent in his boxers "You really are a creep."
"Shut your mouth you filthy little slut." He growled deeply.
"Y..Yes, Sir." Weiss could feel the juices flowing down her thighs already.
Jaune picked the girl up and crashed his lips against hers and she wrapped her legs around him, falling down onto Russel's bed.
Still no beta! So if there are mistakes sue me!
NOT A WHITEKNIGHT STORY! NOT A WHITEKNIGHT STORY!
Thank you for making it this far and I appreciate your continued support :D
Love you allllll
Until next time!