ir·ri·ta·tion

(ĭr′ĭ-tā′shən)

n.

1.

a. The act of irritating: the prankster's irritation of the others in the dorm.

b. The condition of being irritated; vexation: honked the horn with irritation at the delay.

2. A source of irritation: Their constant talking is an irritation to people who are reading.

3. An inflammatory reaction of a bodily part.

4. Physiology The elicitation of a response to a stimulus in a plant or animal organ or tissue, especially in a nerve or muscle.

Neji's eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on his target: a stupid irritating person with a stupid shock of blonde hair who was stupidly eating a stupid cup of noodles at a stupid dining table after subjecting him to death by proxy via stupid chili pepper curry.

Did Neji mention that Naruto was stupid?

Also, why was he eating cup noodles at home? He was pretty sure that Sakura had told Hinata-sama to ban cup noodles from their house after Naruto's monthly medical check-up revealed that he was in perfectly good health except for the frightening levels of sodium in his bloodstream.

(Naruto protested that as a jinchuuriki and an Uzumaki, he was blessed with longevity and that the blood sodium levels were not a problem – apparently the Kyuubi had for years and years, in a fit of self-preservation, been siphoning off the toxins in his bloodstream, and would do so again in a few short minutes, because if Naruto died, the Kyuubi would also die. This self-healing ability was, according to Sakura, exactly how Tsunade-sama had managed to go so long without suffering from liver failure and dying. So had Naruto pleaded, begging on his knees against the ramen ban, tears sparkling in his eyes.)

Sakura ignored him.

Did Neji mention that Naruto was stupid?

He slammed an iron hand down upon Naruto's shoulder, almost snarling in fury when his stupid, stupid brother-in-law turned towards him with a happy, happy smile on his face.

"Oh, hi, Neji!" Blue eyes smiled up at Neji's face, clearly not noticing the copious amounts of killing intent in the air. "How did babysitting the kids go?"

Silence. Neji's tongue had been burnt so thoroughly by Ranmaru's homemade curry of life recipe that it could no longer even feel pain.

Insanely, Boruto had ordered plate after plate of the ominously bubbling food and crammed it all into his mouth, as carefree as a bird, while Himawari had wisely decided to dump a pitcher of sugar into the curry rice before eating. It seemed that she too was a genius. Clearly because of Hinata-sama's genes.

"Do you want some ramen?" Naruto held up the cup so that Neji could clearly see the words written on the packaging.

Ichiraku Cup Noodles from Ichiraku Ramen. Spicy Chunky Chicken Flavor. Now with limited edition curry roux seasoning!

This was bad.

Naruto was corrupting Neji's precious niece and nephew.

He activated his Byakugan.

Naruto finally looked appropriately chilled as he took in the veins bursting around Neji's temple.

"Oh no, they fought again, didn't they?" He audibly gulped. "Was there a lot of property damage?"

Neji twitched. Was he playing dumb on purpose? Did he not know what agony he had inflicted on Neji?

He took a cursory look at Naruto's seemingly innocent eyes and twitched again, finding nothing but earnestness. Naruto was far too easy to read, and the evidence in his face was clear: it wasn't a prank.

Oh damn.

He was in the same boat as Lee, then, just wanting Neji to "mingle" and talk to people he'd met on missions decades ago.

Naruto groaned at Neji's lack of response, his carefree expression replaced with one that was quite appropriate for a funeral. "There was, wasn't there? Neji...who did Himawari kill?"

His hold on Naruto's shoulder loosened just as Hinata-sama walked into the room, beaming as she laid eyes on him.

"Nii-san, welcome home. It's been a while since you've visited, hasn't it?"

...He had visited five days ago, but never mind that.

Her calm, happy smile made the remains of Neji's irascibility wither away on the unfortunate wreckage of his tastebuds. He let go of Naruto, who immediately jumped up and ran to hide behind her as though Neji was a thousand-headed demon bearing news of the moon falling down.

Clearly he was not relishing the thought of a lawsuit over whatever he believed Himawari had done.

It would have been cute, actually, if Neji had been in a better mood.

Hinata-sama gave both of them a funny look.

"Ah, Hinata-sama," he said, tactfully choosing to ignore Naruto's unique brand of lunacy. "Good evening."

"Where are Boruto and Himawari?" she asked, eyes scanning the room as though Neji's niece and nephew might be hiding under the dining table.

"Hiashi-sama insisted on them spending the night."

"With otou-sama? But will they be all right? Boruto's been such a fussy eater lately, and I haven't packed them their toothbrushes and – Naruto-kun, what you doing?"

Neji blinked and turned to face the blonde idiot. Was he...shivering? Neji couldn't tell – Naruto had hidden his face in Hinata-sama's shoulder as though he was witnessing a terrifying horror movie.

The long-suffering Hyuuga sighed.

How silly.

"It's nothing," Neji said shortly. "Naruto, Himawari didn't kill anyone. Stop hiding already."

Naruto peeked up from Hinata-sama's shoulder. "R-really?"

"Yes," he said dryly.

And then Naruto's face brightened up so drastically that Neji almost got whiplash.

"That's GREAT, ya know! I'm so happy, you had me worried for a second there." Naruto put a hand to his chest and breathed deeply and theatrically.

How silly.

"So how did the meeting with Ranmaru go?" Naruto turned his sky, sky blue eyes onto Neji and he felt a terrible sense of deja vu. "I just found out the other day from Ayame nee-chan from Ichiraku that they're partnering up with him for the Konoha Annual Eating Contest after Kakashi-sensei gave him a license to work here, and Bushy Brows and Tenten and I met up with him, and we all thought, 'Man, Neji really needs to mingle, doesn't he?' And we thought you could take Boruto and Hima there and..."

Ugh. He was right.

Still, it was...oddly cute, how concerned Naruto was about Neji getting proper amounts of social interaction. Although it was irritating.

He met Hinata-sama's amused, knowing eyes as Naruto rambled on obliviously about "mingling" and "friendship" and other sappy subjects.

...She knew, didn't she? About his low tolerance for spice.

"Won't you stay for dinner, Neji nii-san?" she asked. "It's been a while since you've eaten here."

It had been five days ago, but never mind that.

"I would like that very much, Hinata-sama," he found himself agreeing for the umpteenth time that day.

He seemed to have developed the vexing habit of being unable to say no to his family lately.

Neji realized that he didn't mind this much, not at all.

"Ah, I'm happy you've said so. We're having super spicy chicken ramen and curry rice today."

Neji despaired.

A/N: For all the people who wanted to see Neji cause serious harm to Naruto. I'm sorry it didn't happen, but at least Naruto got terrified. :)

Iwik - don't worry, Neji loves Naruto, deep down. I hope I conveyed that properly. It's just that Naruto really gets under Neji's skin sometimes. And I'm sorry that I couldn't make Hinata the mastermind of the curry of life, but I did make her a little mischievous. And Neji training Himawari, thanks for the idea! I'll be sure to include it!

Kombuchagirl - I like NejiTen too, I'll see how to include it in future chapters!

And a big thanks to all of you who reviewed! :)