Toni freezes after Dave basically tells her to pour everything out of her bags for him to inspect. She shoots a knowing look at Shelby thinking, not invasive of privacy, huh?
"Uh, didn't um…" Toni tries to think of something to say.
"Spencer, brought them up, yes." Dave answers, but not the real question that Toni is trying to ask.
"You see, Toni, this family likes to be open with one another, and being honest with yourself means being honest with your family."
Not this family, Toni thinks.
Shelby looks at Toni whose eyes bore into Dave, unflinching. She's not scared of him.
Toni knows worse.
"Daddy..." Shelby tries to plead, "She just got here."
"We don't know her. And while I'm lookin' forward to the opportunity to get to do that, she's goin' to show us her bags, so I can make sure she's not-"
"No, I get it." Toni cuts him off. "Want to make sure I'm not bringing any drugs or weapons?" Toni replies, angry. "Check for syringes or a nickel bag of weed?"
"Daddy… "Shelby looks at him, waiting for a response, but he doesn't give one. He just smiles, looking expectant.
"I'm sure there's personal stuff, you know, that she's not ready to share yet?" Shelby counters, her voice starting to waver, she's reaching the end of her ability to stand up to her father.
As an answer, Toni jumps off the bed, scoops up her bag and throws it on the comforter.
"Feel free." She bites. "You might be disappointed. I don't own shit."
Dave sighs, and opens up the drawstring bag and pauses.
"I don't want to be meddlesome, so why don't you just pull everythin' out?" He smiles again, but now Toni knows he doesn't mean it. He'll never mean it.
"And while we're confidin' in each other, that language is not acceptable in my home," he adds.
My home, she thinks. Dave is all about possession. Of Shelby, clearly. This family. This house. What's inside it. And now her. But only when he wants. And this is not one of those times.
Toni pulls out her t-shirts, a few gym shorts, a baggie of bandaids, and a lot of socks. Dave nods approvingly and looks over at the other bag. Getting the message, Toni dumps out her backpack. This makes a bigger pile.
One notebook, a pencil, earbuds, jeans, a few bags of Takis, her toothbrush, all of her sleep shirts, pajama pants, underwear, and shirts. And a big brown jacket. One basketball medal, and her dream catcher that works very hard getting rid of her nightmares.
Dave grabs the Takis.
"Sorry, but we don't allow food into our home that God didn't make," Dave places the Takis on the other side of him, obviously taking possession.
Toni laughs, then looks at Dave. He's serious.
"Wait, Takis? Seriously?" She asks.
"If it didn't grow from the ground, it won't enter our temples," he responds.
Toni taps her foot, wanting to get out of this, trying to get out of this.
"But aren't you about loving people?" Toni asks.
"Of course." He answers, not sure where this is headed.
"People worked real hard to make that bag, that food, I mean," Toni starts, her eyes meet Shelby's, "Probably a lot of folks employed, with families," she continues. 'Folks' does not roll off the tongue as smoothly as she wanted. Faking it is taking an extra effort. "Don't you—"
"Machines made that product, and we eat what God offers us," He asserts.
"We've got other good snacks, Toni, you'll see," Shelby tries to offer.
Toni gives up and just shrugs, knowing this isn't the battle to fight. She doesn't look at Shelby. She doesn't want to see if Shelby's enjoying this. Toni can't figure out if what Shelby says is what she means yet. And she's not taking any risks to find out with unwelcome company.
Dave reaches for the brown jacket, Toni's jaw clenches, her whole body tensing, but this is a fight worth having, she thinks.
"Is this leather?" He asks.
"It was my mom's."
He looks at her, still waiting for a reply. Toni swallows hard. She doesn't know.
"Did an animal die for this to look... fashionable?" He challenges, wanting it to sting.
Toni looks back at Shelby for the first time, wanting her to do something, to say something. Shelby refuses to keep it, and looks away, embarrassed.
Toni nods, confirming that Shelby is not someone to confide in. Especially not in front of Dave. He's clearly got some sort of vice grip on her.
Toni knows what that feels like. Wait, no, Toni thinks. This is not the time to understand Shelby's perspective. Or her life. Or anything about her. This is about Toni. And her beloved jacket. And there's nothing getting in between them.
Toni looks back at Dave, '"It's the last thing I have of hers. We were pretty poor so I'm sure it's fake. Kept me really warm when we were homeless for a while." She throws in, hoping it will make him pity her. Pulling out all the stops.
It works on Shelby who grabs the tag and reads, "70% polyester, 30% poly-somethin-or-other. No leather. Machine wash cold," she attests, and gives a small look to Toni, an attempt to silently apologize.
Dave looks at the pile, his eyes sifting through the items. His eyes land on a polaroid of Toni hugging a girl, Toni follows his eyes, gauging his response, but Dave resumes, and nods his head.
"Alright then. All this looks good. On school nights you must be home by 6, weekends by 8, we have church on Sundays at 10, which we all attend as a family. Shelby can teach you your chores, and I'll see you at dinner. 7pm sharp."
He gets up off the bed, nods with a smile, and leaves the room, not looking back.
Toni plops down in a chair, she runs her hands through her hair, pulling it back tightly. Did she really just pass the tests? Her hands fidget, knee bouncing.
Shelby's trying hard not to look at Toni's entire life on her bed. But what she does see is that it's a small pile. Not even a drawer from her own closet would fit in both of those bags.
"I really like it," Shelby breaks the silence.
Toni looks up, confused, "What?"
"Your mom's jacket," Shelby says as she smooths her hand on the fabric.
Toni bounds towards her and rips the jacket from Shelby's hands.
"No one touches it but me."
Shelby freezes, stunned by the seemingly sudden act of violence.
"I'm tryin' to help. We're all just tryin' to help you, Toni." Shelby offers.
"Yeah, this? All this right here, it was just so helpful," She points to the bed with all of her belongings, including intimate things like bras, underwear, and tiny paper notes signed by R.
Shelby bites her lip, knowing Toni's right.
Toni wraps the jacket around her arms, almost guarding it.
"I never asked for help," she whispers.
Shelby sighs and goes to leave.
Something stops her.
She turns around, "I know that I know nothin' about you, but my dad doesn't like fights."
Toni scoffs.
"Well, I know that I know nothing about you, but I don't like your dad," Toni seethes.
"And bein' so angry like this… I'm just sayin' that it might be best to not get more of… those." Shelby says, trying to tiptoe around the fact that Toni has busted lip.
Toni looks up at her, "Is that why you picked me? To try and fix me?"
"We found someone we wanted to support, and hopefully, like, if you're up for it," Shelby replies, the answer clearly rehearsed—probably taught by her father.
"You don't know anything about me," Toni answers.
"And who's fault is that?" Shelby counters.
Toni stands up, aggressively. "Sure sounds like yours, given that you've never asked me any questions? 'Hey Toni, where are you from? Hey Toni, do you play any sports? What's your favorite kind of ice cream, Toni?'" She demands, then laughs to herself, "Yet, you seem to have me all figured out. All these preconceived notions of what my life is."
"Then tell me." Shelby answers, folding her arms across her chest.
Toni gets quiet, not expecting that anyone would actually take an interest. Usually arguments like these end right around here.
Shelby nods, seeing where she went wrong. "I'm sorry for… assumin'..."
"No, Shelby, you're wrong for assuming."
"I'm wrong and I'm sorry, Toni." Shelby says, endearingly. She steps closer, "Do you want to talk about it?"
This time, Toni takes a step back. Maintaining the space between them. She looks at the bed and decides to lay flat on it again, putting her arms behind her head, looking at the ceiling.
"It's chocolate, by the way," Toni whispers.
"What?" Shelby asks.
"My favorite kind of ice cream." Toni looks over to her, Shelby is sitting on the chair by the desk, clearly uncomfortable, but trying to not make it look obvious.
"Mint chocolate chip," Shelby responds. "And I really like soccer. Watching, not playing, though. I'm not the sporty type."
Toni looks at Shelby, that's obvious, she thinks.
"Basketball. I played at my old school," Toni keeps the conversation going.
Shelby scoots the chair closer to the bed, resting her elbows on it, propping her head up.
"Do you think you'll play at ours?" Shelby inquires.
"From what it looks like, you need me to play at your school. Your team sucks," Toni responds, Shelby bursts out laughing.
"Well, I'm glad you're here to save it." Shelby smiles, she takes a moment, as if pondering whether to admit this or not, "I'm glad you're here."
This makes Toni look over to her, Shelby's eyes are green, she notices.
"This bed is seriously awesome," Toni says, her way of accepting Shelby's compliment.
Toni usually has a good read on people, and for some reason, she feels she can trust Shelby now.
"You've got to see my room!" Shelby exclaims, and pulls Toni's hand again. Toni smiles to herself, her hand is warm, she thinks. Shelby skips as she makes her way to her bedroom.
It's pinker and fluffier than Toni's and more than she could have ever imagined. Every shelf is stacked with trophies, blue ribbons, and medals.
"You said you didn't do sports?" Toni asks. Then she sees the rack of sashes, it reads Miss Texas, in various fonts across various colors.
"I do pageants."
"Ah… see how I could definitely get that confused," Toni says sarcastically.
Shelby sucks in a breath and smiles, "I win pageants."
Toni raises her eyebrows, surprised, but enjoying Shelby's competitive nature.
"There are talent sections, you know," Shelby tries to defend her pageant honor.
"What, yodeling and baton twirling?" she jokes.
"Singing." Shelby hisses. After a small pause, "And baton twirling is harder than you think," she whispers.
"I don't think about it at all, actually," Toni quips.
Before Toni is ready, Shelby tosses something, a small item at her, and Toni magnificently botches the catch.
"Basketball star, huh?" she jokes.
"You make sure the person is looking first," Toni opposes. "What is this anyway?"
Toni holds a small packet of something she can't seem to figure out. It doesn't have a logo or anything. Shelby has her own small packet, she rips it open, it's a mint.
Toni discreetly coughs into her hand, to see if this is a sign that her breath is bad or something, but Shelby is holding up the candy.
It has her face on it.
"Oh my God," Toni laughs.
Then Toni stops, realizing that she'll need to work on her cursing here. "Sorry."
"I don't care," Shelby says, but she waits, "He will, though."
Getting the message, Toni nods. Then opens up her Shelby-faced mint.
"I don't know why you have this, but—" Toni starts, but is quickly cut off.
"They're good, I promise! How fun is that, though? My Daddy bought these for me after I won state for the first time a few years ago."
"Wait, is this baby Shelby? How old are you in this picture?" Toni asks, doing a double take at the picture. Shelby looks exactly the same, a smiley girl with big eyelashes, lots of makeup, and bright red lips. Shelby is beaming at her.
"Thirteen." Shelby responds.
Toni looks up, shocked. "You looked like this at thirteen?" Finding it hard to believe.
"Makeup made me look older, I guess." Shelby says nonchalantly and chews on the mint.
Toni most certainly did not look like this at 13, she was a mess of mismatched socks, too many layers of tank tops, and had a bad phase with a side part.
Toni smiles to herself, looking at Shelby's picture, then looks back up at her. Toni goes to put the mint in her mouth, but is distracted by Shelby's smile. She misses her mouth.
The hard candy knocks into her lip against her teeth.
Toni winces and flinches back. She puts a finger to her lip, and it's bleeding.
Shelby's eyes widen at the scene, "Oh!" She rushes to her bedside table, grabbing a couple of tissues. "Here," she hands them to Toni.
Toni takes them and presses it to her mouth. "Sorry."
Shelby looks at her a little longer than she should. She takes a step forward, asking, "You can talk about it, you know… With me?"
Toni shifts her eyes to look up at her, a bit surprised that Shelby is taller, but crumples the tissue in her hand and tosses it in the trash.
Shelby furrows her brows, not liking the no-response response. She exhales, trying a new approach, "I don't have to be a real sister, or what-not, but I'd like you to think you can talk to me. Maybe, even one day trust me."
Shelby knows she's putting herself out there. Her eyes dart around the room, back and forth from Toni to her dresser, back to Toni. Not wanting to stare too long, fearing Toni would storm out or something if she did. She seems fragile.
Toni chews the inside of her mouth, does she trust Shelby?
"It's why I switched houses." Toni responds quickly, not sure why she's engaging more in the conversation. She turns around, not wanting to see her reaction.
"Oh, got in a fight at school and they kicked you out?" Shelby asks innocently.
She absolutely does not trust Shelby, Toni confirms.
Toni whips her head back around, insulted, "For as much as you advertise how religious this family is with that cross around your neck and how God is like the greatest thing in the whole wide world, you're being really fucking judgemental." She accuses, and adds, "Isn't that like a sin where you come from?"
Shelby opens her mouth, ready with another apology, but Toni blows up at her.
"No, I don't want to hear it, Shelby. I know what everyone thinks of me, and why you picked me. Yeah, I know. Taking in the poor kid from a bad neighborhood? To make your family look better. Or to baptize me or whatever. But you don't get to be critical of my life and the things I've had to do while you prance around in your mansion singing kumbaya. And I know I'm not really making a strong case for myself, and I know that I have a short fuse, but I'm just trying to tell you that I didn't deserve this!" Toni yells, pointing at her face, at the bruise.
Toni sniffs, trying to reel her emotions back. She drops down into the seat at Shelby's desk. There's a long moment of silence. Toni simmers.
"Who did that to you?" Shelby asks. Really wanting to know, really wanting to know Toni better.
Toni's knee bounces, weighing the options to tell her the truth or to lie.
"Just because I'm close with my family doesn't mean I follow all their beliefs," Shelby shares. "I even have a mind of my own," she says sarcastically, trying to ease the tension.
"Yeah, when your dad's not in the room," Toni mutters.
That stung. Shelby tries to settle without overpromising, "I know that my Daddy, he can expect a lot. Be a lot, but… that doesn't change the fact that I'd still like to know more about you."
Toni looks away, clearly thinking.
Shelby tries one more time, "And this seems like somethin' important."
Toni decides the truth will do. Probably shouldn't lie in the house of God on the first day anyway, Toni thinks.
"Are you sure?" Toni asks, quietly.
Shelby nods with a small smile, seeing how careful Toni is being.
Toni's nervous because of the consequences, not because it's Shelby. This dawns on Shelby.
"And please don't worry, it won't affect anythin' here. I mean, you stayin' here. This is a clean slate," she states, offering a smile because she knows it's true.
"It's not in my file, so your dad wouldn't know, anyway. I mean, if that's okay," Toni quickly modifies.
Shelby sits down at the edge of her bed, a sign for Toni to keep going.
"The system gets pretty protective on information, and they have a reputation to uphold…" Toni trails off.
Shelby nods and stays quiet, encouraging Toni to go on. Shelby watches her as Toni traces a finger along the edge of her jaw, like she's remembering when it happened.
"My foster father did it to me."
AN: Thank you for reading! Buckle up for the next chapters! As always, please let me know if you like it, and where you think the story's headed! See you soon, besties.