Chapter 1

BPoV:

I had the ceiling above his bed memorized. All the patterns and textures in the paint—they kept me company after he fell asleep next to me. With the lights on and the TV still blaring, I'd wrap an arm around him and pray for a different tomorrow. But middle-class suburbia was monotonous. Everything was 100k a year families, pill popping, and lip fillers. Despite the differing tax brackets, my mom was just like Edward's family—except the type of drugs she took were prescribed. Those little orange bottles with safety lids made her feel superior to everyone who got their drugs in baggies off the street. Edward's parents were both fucked—always high off of god knows what—and his brother sold. Twenty-six and low brow, James kept a side job at a restaurant while he dealt during the day. He was twisted, making me feel all eerie about sharing a wall with him. Sometimes, I wondered if he listened to me fuck his little brother. The idea makes my skin crawl.

With Edward asleep, I rolled off the bed, needing more stimulation than late night talk shows could offer. My math workbook was opened and untouched on Edward's desk where it would remain just as discarded until the morning. Homework was always on the backburner—always left as something for morning homeroom. I wasn't smart enough for math anyway. Art was my thing not numbers and equations. Art and Edward and especially when the two things intermixed.

Late nights in front of canvases filled our summers. Everything was good vibes and even better weed. There was an innocence about having too much time on your hands—like with nothing to do, everything feels like childhood. Mom never noticed I was gone, always too busy moving from guy to guy every Dad died. Edward's parents were too high to tell I spent the entire summer in his room.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, digging into my art cabinet.

"You."

He dipped his brush into paint and leaned forward, poking me on the nose with the tip. Blue paint now rested on my nostrils, smelling like home. Edward turned his canvas around to reveal an abstract version of me. it was all blue and totally rad, giving off a vibe I never managed in real life.

"That's dope."

"You think? It feels like I'm just imitating other styles."

"You pull it off."

He smiled, showing a tiny chip in his tooth that made him even cuter. "Do I? It's probably because of my muse. She makes everything cool."

"Do I?" I mimicked before crawling across the towel covered carpet to reach him.

With his lips on mine, the rest of the world was set to mute. His mouth is better than any high. With his hands on my thighs, pressing into my flesh as he slips his tongue between my lips, I feel like I'm flying. My heart's rapid as I suck on his bottom lip, hoping I don't crash.

He pulled away to breathe. I lulled against him, resting my head on his shoulder as I choked on air. His arms snaked around me, holding me steady as he pressed a few kisses into my temple.

"Want to hang in bed?"

I snorted. "Is that what you're calling it now? 'Hanging in bed'?"

"Well … we are hanging, aren't we? After … you …"

Edward was still weird about talking about it. Two months ago, we took each other's virginity and now, he still acted like the awkward, inexperienced dude who seemed like a totally different thing on the surface.

"I'll hang in bed with you."

Edward took my hand and pulled me up off the ground with him. His bed was a mess of textbooks and clean, unfolded laundry. He pushed it all aside, letting articles of clothing drop to the floor before putting me on my back. My pants came off first and he took a moment to kiss his way up my leg. He started at the ankle, sucking and nipping on the bone before licking my calf and knee before biting my thigh. His mouth was everywhere. As it found the spot of skin between my pussy and thigh—that little ticklish spot on the joint that made my toes curl. He nipped the flesh before his mouth found my cotton panties.

I wanted him to paint me again. I wanted to revert back to those days when everything felt possible. Now, with graduation approaching, everything felt heavy. Edward stirred against the bed, rubbing his head against the mattress. before pulling away to look at me with half dazed eyes.

"Hey," he muttered as he flipped on his bedside light. "Sorry, I passed out again."

"Yeah. So much for helping me with homework."

He smiled at this, crooked and sleepy before moving in the bed to make more room for me. His twin sized mattress was pressed against the wall, placed on top of another, older mattress as it acted like a box spring. Instead of proper sheets, his bed was covered in various blankets and pillows. It was cozy, as it was our usual hang out for school nights. That is, if no one was fighting at home. Then, we'd drive around in his old Honda Civic, looking for places to park and spend the night.

Teachers wondered why we were so behind—why we never had a chance to study. But with our usual all over the place homelife, it was hard to dedicate ourselves to anything. Especially math and science homework. As if on cue, there was a banging coming from James' room. Someone else was here now.

James dealt and always had someone to answer to. Now, he was in the process of trying to get rid of a tray of acid. He was usually likable enough to move it but lately, his lucky streak has run dry. Edward said that his brother must've fucked with the wrong dude. If that's true, I didn't want to stick around tonight and find out.

"I'm not fucking with you. You're shorting me. Does this seem like the sort of shit I would joke about?" The voice coming from the other room was unfamiliar. It boomed through the walls.

Edward was out of bed in seconds, getting dress before he began moving shit around on his desk, searching for keys. "Let's get heading out. Is that cool with you?"

I nodded without saying anything. After shoving on a sweatshirt and slipping on a pair of sneakers, I watched him, waiting for him to catch up. He's cerebral all the sudden—real quiet as he gets his shit together without looking at me. We leave his bedroom door shut and grab our backpacks before hopping out of his bedroom window. Thankfully, his house is a single story with a backyard that leads to a small parking lot. We're in his car in a heartbeat, heading out without a goodbye.

His parents won't notice. We don't even have to worry. Once, he was gone for a week and they hadn't sent a single text. My mom, on the other hand, had blown up my phone, looking for money with her usual guilt trip. After a quick cash drop off in her mailbox, she stopped reaching out. My part time job at the dinner ended up covering more of our bills than anything she did. She never told me where Dad's money went, and I never asked.

"You hungry?" Edward said as he glanced at the clock.

12:35, our usual dinner time.

"I'm down for whatever. What's open?"

"Not sure … Drive throughs, I'm guessing. Maybe some diners?"

Our typical dinner was ramen and frozen food. There was something about frozen jalapeno bites that filled me up perfectly when I was stoned.

Edward rolled past a Denny's and then stopped, backed up a few yards before pulling into the entrance. "I haven't had this in forever."

Diner food sounded perfect. I reached across the center console, taking his hand in mine before rubbing little circles into the area between his pointer finger and thumb. He held onto the steering wheel with a white knuckled grip. The vein near his jugular pulsed as he sat, clenched jawed, trying to seem normal. His mind was still with his brother, worried that tonight would be the night that James really set someone off.

"It's all going to be cool," I said, knowing that, for real, I didn't really know anything.

"Yeah. You're probably right." He was lying too. In this, we were both totally clueless.

With a forced calm, we went into the diner. We smiled at the waitress and held hands as she led us to a corner booth. As we ordered coffees, we were super chill. As soon as we began to look at the menu, though, and our nerves really bubbled, the night got to us.

"Sometimes, I just want to run away from everything. Fuck graduation. Let's just go somewhere and start over."

"And do what?"

"I don't know … something."

"Without a high school diploma?"

Edward shrugged and thanked the waitress as she dropped off two cups and a pot of coffee. "Maybe you're right. I just don't want to stay here anymore, you know?"

"I know. But … I mean, it's only a few more months. We'll be done in no time and can go wherever we want to. You know I don't have anything tying me here. If it weren't for school, I'd be down to leave Washington whenever."

"As soon as we're done, we should go. Let's wave high school goodbye and wave the town goodbye too."

"I'll go wherever you want."

He smirked, almost like he didn't believe me, and held out his pinky. "You promise?"

I hugged his pinky finger with mine. "Pinky promise."

A/N: Thanks to anyone reading this! I really love this story so I'm excited to share it with you.

**Today's Fic Rec** Right now, I'm reading, "If Love Could Kill," by PearlyFox and loving it!