We Are Definitely Not All Right

I know a lot of will be unhappy with me for sticking to a "once a month" schedule for this story, especially with the way I left this chapter. (evil grin).

But I need to stick with that schedule for a few reasons.

I'm working on a Sybil/Tom story at the same time that is complimentary to this one.

This story is very angsty, and I need to take it in small douses sometimes.

As this story will cover 2 x 9, I know there will be a Christmas chapter, and I refuse to write or post such chapters not during Christmas.

"I need you to do whatever is necessary to release Bates from jail," Robert said, standing in front of his lawyer, Murray. "This is obviously nothing but a terrible mistake." The very idea that his valet, Bates' had been torn away from Downton without Robert's immediate knowledge was unacceptable.

Murray nodded sadly, his nearly bald head bobbing up and down. "Of course, Lord Grantham. I will do my best." He studied the papers he'd brought with him for several moments before he finally looked back at Robert. "But it will probably be rather difficult, as Scotland Yard had a warrant for his arrest." He paused and took a breath. "For murder."

Fuming, Robert began pacing around his library. He didn't need Murray to tell him what he already knew; he needed him to fix the situation. Wasn't that why Robert was paying this man? "Yes. Carson has informed me of that already. Obviously, this is a misunderstanding, as I know Bates would never kill anyone."

"Quite, Lord Grantham," Murray said far too slowly for Robert's taste.

"Murray!" Robert said, perhaps a bit too loudly, as it echoed all over the library. He supposed it was a good thing they were alone, as this behavior was rather unbecoming for an earl. "I mean it. Find a way to release Bates from jail." The pressure in his life was still coming from all directions, and Robert didn't need another problem when Murray could fix it easily.

Murray stared at the papers again for another moment. "If Scotland Yard does have a proper warrant, Lord Grantham, he will only be released if someone pays his bail."

Robert stared at Murray in disbelief for a moment. Why did he just imply the solution was another obstacle? "Then I will pay his bail and you will arrange his release."

Murray nodded again, giving a small sigh. "It's just that bail for a murder charge is exceptionally high, Lord Grantham. Many feel it's unreasonable to pay, even if they have the funds. It will cost you a great deal, especially considering the estate is still recovering from the war…"

"Murray!" Robert said, echoing all over the library again. "I don't care what it cost to bail him out. Do. It. As soon as possible. Or I will find another attorney who will do as I ask."

To his relief, Murray finally said, "Of course, Lord Grantham," and gathered his papers to leave the library.

As soon as the lawyer left, Robert headed for the drink cabinet. There were just too many problems for him to face at the moment.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

That night, Robert bristled as Carson knocked on the door of his dressing room to serve as his valet. "Come in," he said, perhaps snapping a bit too much. But Robert truly didn't need another problem now. And his butler serving as his valet was just another reminder of what was wrong in Robert's life.

Carson opened the door slowly and stepped inside the small room. Silently, he removed Robert's cufflinks. Then his suit coat. The man was careful to avoid his eyes, as was proper for a servant.

Sighing, Robert remembered once again why Bates was such a perfect valet for him. The man was competent at his job, tending to of all of Robert's things with ease and care. The man was also prompt at dressing and undressing. And Carson was all those things as well, Robert knew. After all, all the man had been his father's valet before he'd become butler at Downton.

But Bates would smile at Robert while he did his job. Sometimes he and Robert would even joke about events that had happened during the day or give advice. And with all the troubles he had these days, he needed that desperately. They weren't just master and servant; they were friends that had served in the war together. He'd lost one of his best friends today.

Bristling, Robert sighed as Carson began removing his trousers. Murray had better release Bates soon.

But even though Carson wouldn't look at him or joke with him the way Bates' might, his butler was still a good man whom Robert trusted. He should never have implied otherwise when Carson had to deliver the news that Bates had been arrested.

His temper was much too short these days, snapping all the time and causing Robert to say and do things he would not normally. "Carson," Robert said, as his night trousers were finally on, "I need to apologize for what I said to you earlier. I know I can always trust you, and Bates' arrest was not your fault. If Scotland Yard had warrant, there was nothing you could do to prevent it."

Carson sighed loudly. "I was so sorry to deliver such news to you, milord, and I agree that Mr. Bates is far too honorable of a man to be in jail, much less for murder." He still wouldn't look at Robert in the eyes, but Robert knew the other man was sincere.

"I've asked Murray to arrange for Bates' bail, so he should be able to return to Downton soon," Robert said firmly. The sooner the better.

"I'm certain Mr. Bates will appreciate that," Carson said, turning his back to retrieve Robert's nightshirt. He'd tried to sound neutral, but Robert knew Carson was a little surprised. Many lords would say a servant who had been arrested for murder wasn't worth the effort to pay for his bail, which Robert supposed, was exactly what Murray was trying to imply earlier today. It would certainly cause a horrible scandal.

But although Robert hated scandal, he honestly didn't care right now. This wasn't "a servant"; it was Bates. The man who'd saved his life during the war in Africa.

"Please inform Mr. Murray that I would be happy to say or do anything I can to help Mr. Bates' case, milord," Carson said as he placed Robert's night shirt on his torso, still without looking at him.

"I will make certain to do so, and I know Mr. Bates would appreciate that," Robert said. It was nice to know that Carson agreed that it was more important to release Bates from a wrongful charge than to worry about scandal. It was one less trouble to worry.

OOOOOOOOOO

After Carson had helped Robert with his dressing gown and gathered his clean clothing, Carson bowed and quietly left the room.

Robert slowly opened the door to Cora's room, not wanting to startle her. After all, she was still recovering from that horrible Spanish flu. It was quite possible she was already asleep.

But the side table lamp was still on, and Cora smiled at him from under the bed covers. "You didn't need to wait for me, Cora. I know you are still tired," Robert said after he removed his dressing gown and discarded it on the usual chair.

He studied her face carefully, looking for signs of relapse. Was she paler now than she'd been earlier today?

Cora shook her head, her dark hair brushing against the pillow. "Don't worry so much, Robert." She giggled a little. "I really am getting better."

Nodding, Robert sighed as he climbed into the bed himself. He certainly hoped she was right. There were so many troubles surrounding him right now, but nothing was worse than the terror he felt when he thought Cora would die.

"I still can't believe Bates was arrested. For murder," Robert shook his head against his own pillow as he spoke to his wife. "The very idea…"

"It's too bad," Cora said with a small yawn. "I suppose you'll have to find a new valet now."

"I certainly will not," Robert said, feeling his irritation build with that comment. Bates would be released on bail soon, and he would certainly never be convicted. He was not a murderer. "Cora…"

She was already asleep. Of course, she was. Cora may be "getting better" as she put it, but she was still quite fatigued. The lamp was even still turned on.

Sighing Robert climbed out of bed to turn it off, still mulling over Cora's comment about Bates. He shouldn't let it bother him so much, especially as she was still obviously recovering from a very serious illness. But he couldn't stop thinking that his best friend had been arrested, and all Cora seemed to care about it was that he should find a new valet.

Robert was used to Cora's tendency to dismiss Bates in the past, and he hadn't let it upset him much. He knew that it wasn't truly her speaking, but her nasty maid, O'Brien, placing ideas into his sweet Cora's head. But this was different.

Bates, the man who'd saved his life in Africa, had been arrested, and Robert had received more comfort from Carson than the woman who was supposed to love him. The woman who had always excelled at consoling him in the past.

As he turned off the lamp, Jane's caring face flashed through Robert's mind. Would she have given him the comfort he'd desired tonight? Probably. But before he could explore the idea further, Robert pushed Jane's image away from his head. He'd promised himself not to behave so dishonorable anymore, and he wouldn't, even if it was just in his mind.

But as he laid in the dark, Robert couldn't stop thinking that he and Cora were definitely not all right. Not if she didn't care about Bates at all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

OOOOOOOO

While Robert fretted about Bates arrest, Cora focused on something much more important. Her Sybil was leaving home. She watched as Sybil packed her things, as she refused to have Anna's assistance even now. "We will take the train to Liverpool, then there is a boat that leaves at noon." Cora hated how Sybil's voice grew more and more excited as she spoke. Was she truly this eager to leave her family?

"Tom says he has an uncle that works at the docks who will pick us up when arrive," Sybil said as she placed the last of her undergarments in her case. The same case she used when she'd left to train as a nurse in York. Cora had thought the couple of months she'd spent in York three years ago were long, but that was nothing compared to what she faced now. Sybil was moving to Ireland permanently.

"Oh, Sybil," Cora shook her head. "I wish you weren't leaving. Not so quickly."

Sybil smiled back sadly, her blue eyes shining with warmth. "I'm sorry, Mama, and I will miss you, but this is what is right for me." She placed a hairbrush and several other personal hygiene products inside her case. But Cora stared in surprise when she ignored her make – up and perfume. Sybil had been so excited to receive those when she was presented.

How could her youngest daughter be so different than the young woman who was so excited about finally coming out?

"Remember to pack a few hair ornaments," Mary said, finally breaking her silence as she watched her sister from her bed. "And at least one piece of jewelry. You'll want something to look nice for your wedding if nothing else."

Sybil studied her many hair ornaments and jewels that were in their proper places on her dresser. Some were made of diamonds or silver and others of pearls. Finally, she shook her head. "I don't think any of these are right for me any longer."

Cora stared at the precious jewels, then at Sybil, then back to the jewels in shock. All of them had been gifts which Cora thought Sybil had loved. Cora still remembered her reaction to the tear – dropped diamond necklace that mother had given her. * Then there was the diamond bracelet Mama had given Sybil for her eighteenth birthday, and the silver earrings from Rosamund. And what about the diamond brooch shaped like a lovely flower that was a Christmas gift from Cora and Robert?

"Sybil are you sure?" Cora said finally. Her heartbeat a bit faster as she thought of Sybil cutting herself off from her family. Taking a deep breathe, she willed herself not to faint, as she was still recovering from her terrible illness. As soon as she was done in here, Cora must ask O'Brien for some tea.

Sybil sighed, looking from her mother to her two other sisters. "I'm going to live a vastly different life in Ireland, and I don't wish to bring things that will make Tom's family believe I'm so much better than they are. Most of my clothing will stay here, too. I'm only bringing the essentials."

"But what if you change your mind and realize you need something?" Edith said softly.

Cora nodded in agreement.

Sybil sighed and fastened her case. "I know everyone thinks Tom and I are being impulsive, but we are not. We have both thought this through for months, years even. I won't change my mind, and neither will he." Her blue eyes flashed as she stared at each of the people in the room.

Cora nodded. Her youngest daughter may still be youthful, but she was stubborn. More importantly, Sybil knew her own heart better than anyone in this family. She wouldn't change her mind. "I understand, darling, but please, do take something to remember us." She gestured to Sybil's jewelry. "Most of those were gifts that you received because people loved you. And we still do, Sybil, darling." Blinking black a couple of tears, she looked directly into her daughter's eyes, hoping she understood this request was made of love.

Sighing, Sybil nodded. She studied the jewelry for several moments before she finally selected the brooch. "This looks like the one least likely to be damaged on the trip."

Cora hugged her daughter with all her might. "Thank you." She was delighted when Sybil embraced her in return.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

The next day, Cora hugged Sybil one more time, after her little girl placed her case in the motor to leave Downton. Stark would drive them to the train station, as odd as it was for him to transport their former chauffeur. "Please send us a telegram when you arrive so we know you've landed safely," Cora said as she withdrew.

Robert grunted loudly in the background, probably at how foolish it was for Ireland to be safe, especially in this political climate. But Cora couldn't think of that right now.

"I promise, Mama," Sybil said with another sigh, as if Cora were being the unreasonable one. "Tom are you ready?" she asked, looking at the former chauffeur in an uncomfortably tender way.

"Yes," he said, giving her daughter a similar disturbing smile. He placed two cases in the motor.

The wind whipped around the countryside, reminding Cora it was still a cool spring day, and she discretely pulled her coat closer. "Are you certain you don't wish to take anymore shawls or sweaters with you?" she asked. "It will become even chillier on the water."

Shaking her head, Sybil sighed. "No, Mama, we are fine."

"I do hope you all will consider coming to our wedding," Sybil said, smiling brightly now as she looked at her mother, her father and both of her sisters. Even her Granny. "We would love to have you."

"We hope to do so," Cora said with a nod. Mary and Edith nodded as well.

They both turned to climb into the motor when Robert blocked their way, scowling.

"Papa," Sybil said in a voice that showed she was preparing for another fight.

"Lord Grantham," Branson said in a similar voice.

Cora sighed. When Robert said he'd given them their blessing, she had hoped there would be no more of this. He'd even given Sybil some money and was allowing them to take his motor to the train station.

"Papa, we need to leave," she said her voice growing louder. "We will leave, even if we do not use your motor."

Robert just grunted, and Cora wanted to ask him why he insisted on behaving so childishly. Sybil was leaving, and there was unfortunately nothing he could do about it.

Branson shook his head and took Sybil's arm. "Come on," he said beginning to leave her away.

"Robert, this won't help anything," Mama said firmly, in voice she'd probably used once to send him to his room.

Fortunately, just then Robert moved out of the way, grunting again. Then their daughter and Branson almost jumped into the motor. "Goodbye," Sybil said waving as the drove out of sight.

Cora didn't blink back her tears this time. She hoped they would be safe.

OOOOOOOOOOO.

Much to Cora's relief, she'd received a telegram last Saturday that both Sybil and Branson had arrived in Dublin.

But their house still felt empty without her youngest daughter, although Cora tried not to focus on her absence. She tried not to remember Sybil's excited face as she jumped into the motor and drove away from their family. But it was difficult. Her youngest daughter no longer sat with them at dinner. Nor did she sit by the fire in the drawing room afterwards, trying to encourage everyone to support the hospital more than they already did.

In some ways, it was difficult to see Dr. Clarkson at Downton, too, considering he and Sybil had worked together at the hospital. But the doctor insisted on visiting the recent Spanish flu patients, to check their recovery. Especially Cora's. He visited her in her bedroom a couple of times a week for a thorough examination.

Cora wasn't certain her bed and the blue walls of her bedroom were a comfort or a bit of an irritation now.

"Please take a deep breathe, Lady Grantham," the doctor instructed as he placed his stethoscope on her bare back. Cora shivered at the touch of the medical instrument, but she did so. "And another," he said, it to a different spot. "And another."

Finally, he put the stethoscope away and looked at Cora with a smile. "Your lungs are still completely clear, Lady Grantham. And you are eating as you should?"

Sighing, Cora nodded. The rest of her family always made certain she ate a good dinner, even without Sybil's presence. Robert would study her plate as the women prepared to leave the dinner table, to see if Cora had finished her food. Someone had apparently spoken to Mrs. Patmore about serving Cora's favorite dishes for the last several days. Even Mama mentioned how important it was to consume food after a serious illness when she was at Downton last night.

And dear O'Brien often stayed in the bedroom as Cora ate her breakfast to make certain it was all eaten.

"Good," Dr. Clarkson said with a nod. "Very good. So that should mean your energy is returning?"

"I suppose," Cora said carefully. She'd never been an active person and had usually preferred to spend her afternoons reading or doing needlework in the library as opposed to exploring or riding. (Actually, Cora had been quite lively while running the convalescent home, but that was neither here nor there anymore.) And Sybil's departure had not encouraged her to be more active.

But Cora had noticed an increase in her stamina in the last few days. She didn't need a nap just before tea anymore. She could stand up for unlimited amounts of time. Most importantly, she didn't fall asleep almost as soon as she climbed into bed. "Yes," she said more certainly.

Dr. Clarkson nodded again. "I'm very pleased to hear you are still recovering, Lady Grantham. For a while we all thought that…" his voice trailed off, unable to say what was obviously on his mind. But Cora knew what he meant. She'd almost died. The thought still scared her sometimes when she thought of all that she could have missed. Sybil and Mary's weddings. Edith finding a match. Any hope of reconciliation with Robert.

"Well, we are all glad to see you well again," the doctor said, his smile growing. She could even see his lip behind his blond mustache. "And as long as you continue to improve, I won't need to see you about this any longer."

Cora's own smile grew as Dr. Clarkson picked up his things and left her room. One less reminder of Sybil's absence made her feel a bit lighter. More importantly, Cora truly was recovering. Perhaps she and Robert could celebrate tonight?

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"I'm so glad to hear Dr. Clarkson has said you've recovered completely," Robert said as he came into her room that night. Her heart leaped at the smile on his face and the joy in his voice. He'd said that at dinner already, but it seemed important enough for him to repeat.

Her room was definitely a comforting sanctuary now. "I'm quite pleased about that, too," Cora said, giggling a little. "Especially my increase in stamina."

"Hmmm," Robert hummed as he took off his dressing gown and threw it on the chair, as he did every night. Did he not understand her implication?

As he climbed into bed, she leaned closer to him. "I'm not tired anymore," she whispered against his neck, knowing that made him tingle.

"I'm so glad to hear that, darling," he said in a serious voice. He leaned over and kissed her cheek warmly.

But instead of continuing to kiss her in other places, Robert laid back down on his side of the bed. Cora's heart dropped. Her husband was very English and sometimes struggled to accept, much less embrace her interest in sex. But usually, her attention to his neck resulted in more action than this.

"Robert," Cora said again, reaching for his hand under the blankets.

"Yes? Is there something wrong?" he asked. Her hopes rose at how concerned he sounded. He loved her.

She leaned over to his side of the bed, staring at him in the eyes. "I was hoping, since I'm well again…" She couldn't say directly; it wasn't proper. And Robert would be even more uncomfortable if she tried. But certainly, he understood, considering the way she squeezed his hand and looked at him with desire.

Apparently not, because Robert's eyes were vacant. No hint of any desire for her at all. Her suggestion hung in the air, uncomplete for several moments, before Cora finally sighed. "Never mind," she said, returning to her side of the bed.

But she stared at the blue walls into the night, which were now an irritating prison. Somehow, Cora had believed their relationship would be restored after their conversation directly after her illness, and especially after that new maid left. She'd even asked Robert if they were all right, and he'd said yes.

But now it was clear that they were definitely not all right. How could he complexly ignore her suggestion like that?

She known all along, on some level, Cora supposed. She may be a bit naïve sometimes, but she wasn't a newlywed. She and Robert had been married long enough to understand the kind of struggles they had in the last few months didn't just disappear. She had just desperately wished they could be all right.

Could Robert have wished that, just as desperately? Was that why he'd said yes that day?

She hoped so, but his vacant eyes stared back at Cora in her memory. He had no desire for her. Would he have preferred that maid here tonight? The pain in her heart stabbed at the thought. She didn't know how far Robert's interest had gone, nor did she truly wish to know.

But how could their relationship be mended now? Would he ever desire her again? What could Cora do to fix it?

In the next chapter, Robert visits Bates in prison, as it becomes increasingly clear that he will not be bailed out as quickly as Robert and Murray had hoped, and the Crawley's receive an invitation to Sybil's weddding.

*See chapter three of my story "The Presentation of Lady Mary and Lady Edith."