About the Author: Buster Manwomb had been absolutely yonked on tropical-flavoured rockets and vodka for the last few weeks, and in this singular instance would like to apologize if they didn't get the mannerisms of all peoples mentioned in this fic down pat.

Chapter 2: The Wreckoning

By sheer force of will, and a convenient disregard for the limitations of space, time, and travel restrictions amidst a pandemic, the gang got their guns from the mail and met up in Winnipeg, Canada.

"Okay." Stevo said. "Where do we go know?"

"Hang on." David said from the conspicuous van half a block down. "I'm gathering intel."

"What sort of intel could you find for an operation like this?" Stevo asked.

Cut to the inside of the van, we can see David sitting on a box of canned meats, browsing fanfiction dot net on his phone. "I have every one of their fics open in tabs right now. My intel says… Buster Manwomb is... in a dumpster."

"Awesome, we've narrowed it down to all of Winnipeg." Val said.

"Val?!" Stevo said. "Where are you?"

"Look up."

They all looked up. Val was on the roof above them, holding a big-ass sniper rifle in one hand and waving with the other. "You can't not have recon in an operation like this!"

"That is a big violation of Baby Duty." Shawn commented.

"Where's Xavier?" Stevo asked.

"I showed him how to make podcasts!" Val said. "He's fine."

... ... ...

"Hi there, and welcome to Saturday Morning Fanfiction! I'm your host, professor X!" Baby Xavier said, sitting in front of a broken Dell Latitude laptop. Various Beanie Babies were sat in a circle around him. "We're doing two Paw Patrol fics today, starting with 'Rocky and Rubble go to Whitecastle' by Lorem Ipsum. Gobbles, you're up first!"

Gobbles the Turkey said nothing. After a few seconds, it tilted forward, slumping face first onto a gamecube controller.

"Darn it, Gobbles!" Xavier exclaimed. "I told you not to play games during the podcast!"

... ... ...

"I'm fine with that." Stevo said. "David, any leads?"

"Yes." David said. "Listen to me very closely. Open your bag, and take out the only thing that isn't a gun.

Stevo opened his bag. Inside were a Nerf N-Strike EBF-25 Dart Blaster, and a can of spam. Stevo took the can. "Okay."

"Open it."

"opened." Stevo said.

"Alright, now repeat after me."

"I…need… a fanfiction!" Stevo yelled, earning some odd stares from the understandably miserable Winnipeggers walking past. "And I have deli meats!"

At first, there was silence, and then from the alley behind the New York Fries across the street, they could hear a froggy, guttural "Heh."

"There!" Stevo said, running into the alleyway as the others took point.

"Oh!" A pair of froggy eyes emerged from the darkness of the New York Fries grease trap, fixating on Stevo and the others. "What in the salty, dry-roasted fuck are you all doing here?" Buster Manwomb asked confusedly.

Suddenly, everyone pulled out their nerf guns and pointed it at the dumpster.

"EEEE!" Buster Manwomb recoiled. "Nerf guns! No, they're so bad for the environment! I'll do anything! Don't shoot!"

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me you weren't using real guns?" Val interrupted, suddenly feeling very overprepared for this.

"How the fuck did you get a sniper rifle past the border?!" Logan asked.

"I don't know!" Val said, putting the issue to rest.

"Doesn't matter!" Stevo said, returning his attention to Buster Manwomb. "We need you to change the fic with us and the Game Grump in-"

"Never Mind." David said in everyone's earpiece.

"Wait, what?" Stevo said.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Someone on Twitter found shrimp tails in their Cinnamon toast Crunch. Everyone latched onto that and just... forgot about the whole Game Grumps thing."

"Really?" Stevo said, putting down the gun. "Jesus. Twitter moves fast."

"They've already forgotten about the Shrimp Cereal guy." Shawn said, checking twitter. "Turns out he was a MeToo milkshake duck."

"Gesundheit." Buster Manwomb said, clicking and clacking away at their Tandy Color Computer. "Alright. I'm changing it. You guys read about the angry video game nerd now. That should be fine. There isn't a controversy section on their Wikipedia page at the moment… Can I have that can of spam?"

Stevo thankfully gave Buster Manwomb the spam, which they proceeded to do terrible things to while the Friday Night Fanfiction crew returned home and had a collective existential crisis when they realized Saturday Morning Fanfiction was pulling seven-digit view counts on soundcloud.

THE END