Survive
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Eleanor remembered her father telling her once… they went to the park... she was really young so there was no way she would remember; but a man tried to snatch her away. He told her that adrenaline was a powerful thing. Even if in reality he bounced and tackled the man in only seconds he felt he was walking in slow motion, he felt his body was not fast enough, or his mind was racing at speed of light. For her it was interesting to hear, but always strange, since she never felt adrenaline and fear to that point... not even after the outbreak...
However, at that moment, maybe she had a better idea of what her father could have felt that day.
She ran beside Carl, and didn't bother noticing if Rick was already beside her or not. she lifted his shirt gently and from his right side. A stream of blood was making its way to the ground. She teared part of her shirt and folded it pressing on the wound to prevent further bleeding; only at that moment she looked around, searching for something... the figures of Shane and Rick passed through her eyes like faint ghosts... were there tears in her eyes? Her gaze landed on Rick again.
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"Rick, give me your belt... now!" She ordered. He obeyed, and with his help they lifted Carl's torso gently and Ellie put the shirt over the little compress and pressed it with the help of the belt.
"Oh my god... I'm so sorry" she heard to her side.
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She looked up, there was this over weighted man that was apologizing to them, carrying a rifle; Ellie wide eyed and then glared in hate. "I know a doctor! His name is Hershel... he lives on a farm 20 minutes from there... I-I'm sorry I didn't-"
"Save it" Eleanor cut him off. Rick got Carl in his arms and got up, they ran in the direction the man pointed.
They were only walking through the woods, when a male deer appeared before them, the forsaken animal didn't run... and Carl approached it. Elle should have known that the universe was laughing at her face, when a bullet pierced both the deer and Carl at the same time. The dread she felt twisted her stomach and she had nausea... she should have shot the damn animal; she should have scared at least scared it away.
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She wasn't ready, nor willing to lose Carl and Sophia on the span of two fucking days.
They reached the end of the woods, and a large field along with a farm came to view. She picked up her pace; Rick was holding Carl, and tried to shake him as little as possible. As she arrived to the building, she could identify an old man, two women, and a boy with a bat on his hands.
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"Are you Mr. Hershel!" she said slowing down, arriving at the door.
"Yes... and who-" began Hershel
"You have to help us! A child from our group has been shot by one of your men," said Eleanor signaling behind her, Rick was arriving with Carl in his arms "He's bleeding out, please!"
"Otis," he said and one of the women gasped behind him. At that moment Rick arrived with Carl in his arms.
"Take him inside!" ordered Hershel, walking back to his door and leaving the way free for Rick to get in. Eleanor turned and gave a last look at the field… where she spotted Shane, rifle in hand and forcing the man, Otis, to pick up his pace and reach the farm. She then turned around and followed the two men inside.
She followed Hershel's voice to the left, and found a room that could have been a bedroom. Rick had already put Carl on the bed, and was standing on one side while the older man ordered around his people for his medical kit and other supplies. When the doctor moved to release the belt on Carl's stomach, she jumped forward. The cloth that she had put on the wound was completely soaked in blood.
"pillowcase!" he commanded.
"I'll do it" Said Eleanor, graving a nearby pillow and pulling out the case with a forceful tug.
"Fold it... and press the wound," the old man instructed while getting out his stethoscope. Eleanor stepped away when he put in contact the tool with Carl's chest, and then to the sides of his torso.
"Is ... is he alive?" Rick tempted. The man named Hershel let out a sigh, and then the stethoscope on the table.
"I have a heartbeat... its faint,"
No, no it couldn't be faint. Eleanor looked around at the mess done in the bed, the blood, Carl's face… he was so pale, almost blue, his abdomen looked inflated. She put the back of her hand in her mouth and trembled. If he hadn't said that Carl was alive… she would have thought, he had already died.
"We've got this, please step back,"
Eleanor turned to meet one of the women that accompanied the old man and backed away. She gazed as she and a younger female moved back and forth to find boiled water, compresses, bandages and to pull out all necessary equipment. It made her remember her mother's work… and how once you did nothing, you could become a nuisance.
She turned to Rick and the idea was reinforced. He was pacing around the room, but was also hindering the free transit of the women. With an uncomfortable sigh, she walked to him.
"Rick, we need to leave them to work; they need the space…" she began, but Rick shook his head in panic. She tried to call for him again, but decided to take him by the arm and drag him outside. The man put resistance at first, but slowly… he realized he was an obstacle more than an asset, and let himself be moved to the main hall.
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It was at this moment that Shane finally arrived. He swung the door open, it hadn't been closed, and pushed the round man inside.
Eleanor's gaze moved immediately to him. He was overweight, bald, and his hands small. He had a gentle face, or rather…. Appeared to be a pushover. The silence around them seemed to bother him, and he looked nervous from Eleanor to Rick, and back to Shane.
"I-I-I'm sorry. The…. The boy is alive? I swear I didn't see h-"
"We already know you are sorry." Eleanor cut him off, "And you may be thankful that he's still breathing,"
The implication left no room for confusion. The man Otis looked around him once again.
"How is he…?" Shane was the one to ask. He was panting, and even limped a little due to exhaustion. Eleanor frowned, distressed and hugged her frame.
"Mr. Hershel said his heartbeat is weak, but there. He's lost a lot of blood, he's examining the wound right now,"
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At least have an hour passed before Mr. Hershel called for Rick and Eleanor. Shane came along and so did Otis. What Eleanor saw when she arrived at the room was a hopeless scenario. The women were now on a corner, one of them had an apron, and was slightly covered in blood. They had stripped Carl, at least of his upper part, and cleaned him. The wound seemed to have been bleeding less, but Carl looked impossibly pale. He was still unconscious, and Hershel rose his attention from him to the sheriff and the young woman.
"Do you know his blood type?"
"A positive, like me," Rick moved to answer, the man nodded and looked back down at the child.
"That's fortunate; don't wander far, I'm gonna need you," he commented and then his gaze landed on Otis.
Eleanor should be more understanding of the man, it had been an accident… the guy looked as if he was dying of guilt, his expression as worried and as unsettled as them. Yes, Eleanor should let it slide.
But she couldn't even look at the guy in the eye at the moment
"Otis, what happened?" asked the old man, as if wanting to confirm what the others were telling him.
"I was… tracking a buck," he signaled, his expression lost and confused, Eleanor wanted to punch him, "Bullet… went right through it; went clean through,"
"The deer slowed the bullet down… which certainly saved his live," he began but minutely shook his head in worry, "but it did not go through clean,"
"…you mean, it splinted?" Eleanor tempted, the old man posed his gaze at her and she was moved to ask again, "Are they still inside?"
"yes… and I'm counting six," he added.
Otis moved to talk to the older female that was with them. Rick looked around him confused and Eleanor turned to look away. Her eyes landed on Shane and suddenly, they started to fill with tears.
Pieces inside him… six. What if one of them pierced some vessel?... what if an organ was pierced instead? What if they were too deep inside and they had to do major surgery to get them out. She blinked her tears away, and tried to silently clean her nose with her hand. She had to search out bullet pieces from animals before… and it was messy work.
Rick broke down, saying over and over that Lori didn't know. Shane moved to give him support, and Eleanor hugged herself. She couldn't tell him; she couldn't tell him what she feared or what she knew about this situation. She couldn't bring herself down, it made her remember when her mother was also like this, and feeling worried or distraught or crying was not going to be of use to anybody.
She had to be strong.
"You can try to pull them out right?" She asked, the man turned to her, "I… my mom was a nurse, I could help… if you need the hands," she added.
"It's okay. We've got what we need," Said Hershel and looked at Rick and Shane.
Oh, okay then.
"Rick, hey… come with me," She said, tugging the man's arm. This one silently followed, Shane on their tow.
Them accommodated themselves on a couch, and for the next 5 minutes, there was only silence.
"it will be alright," Shane tempted, Eleanor looked at him from the side.
"I shouldn't have let them come, I've…" he began and the other man moved to say something until Eleanor put her hand above Rick's knee.
"Just as I shouldn't have let Sophia ran away," she said. Rick turned to her frowning, "That's as much as my fault as this is on you. Things happen Rick, we can make ourselves feel guilty about it, or we can try and come up with solutions to our problems. I know I'm asking too much right now, but that's the only way we keep moving forward,"
"And what… is the solution to this, uh?!" he said back, tears in his eyes, the rage that he felt the only let out for the pain he was feeling. "What! Is left to do?!"
"Rick, man… hey," Shane said trying to calm him down. Eleanor kneeled before the sheriff and lifted his head.
She couldn't bear to see this man, as strong and generous as he was, breaking down this way.
"We wait, and we stay right beside him…. Because he'll be in pain, and he'll be losing blood and you… you!" she empathized, and his stormy blue eyes finally met hers, "You can give your blood to him."
"Rick!"
They all turned, one of the girls, the one with short brown hair… called for them. "he needs blood,"
Eleanor rose and so did Rick. They stomped back into the room in a hurry, only to be met with an unsettling sight. Gone was the clean and the peaceful. Hershel was battling with Carl to get the pieces out, the child squirmed and screamed in pain, his body covered in sweat. Eleanor trembled, they had no anesthetic, and he was doing surgery on a conscious and aware child.
"you! Hold him down," ordered Hershel, barely sparing a look at them.
"His arms," she whispered to Shane and moved to lay down by the head of the bed. Carl cried, squirmed, and screamed in pain; and Eleanor hugged his chest and face, using her weight to keep him still.
"Aughhh! Dad!,"
"It's okay, resist a little longer…. Just a little longer," she pleaded against his ear. Carl screamed again, and Eleanor closed her eyes… not releasing her hold.
"Stop! You are killing him!"
"Rick! Do you want him to live?" Hershel said, barely sparing the comment, and the sheriff fell silent again. Eleanor remained still, her ears almost numb from the constant screaming… and so, she wasn't sure if it was her mind or reality when she stopped feeling resistance.
With a jump, she released the child, and moved her hand to his neck.
"Wa-wait… why, why, why isn't he movin-"Shane also released his hold on the hands of the child, and looked around him in panic.
"Hey, hey…. He fainted. He just fainted,"
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"You tell me now… if he can survive,"
Eleanor turned to the man. Hershel had requested a little more space for now, after they installed Rick in his seat next to Carl. Carl had not regained consciousness, but his immobility was a blessing for the veterinarian –Eleanor had been looking around the books, and now she was certain—so that he could do his job with more ease. This is how Shane and she found themselves on the living room, waiting and pacing around in worry.
"How am I supposed to-"
"You said you hunted for years, right?" Shane huffed with a sardonic smirk, "You've seen this before, haven't you?"
Eleanor let out a defeated sigh, and the cop never left his gaze off of her.
"Only to animals," she finished, he didn't move "But this is different,"
"How is it different, tell me… how is it different-" he talked fast and with insistence. Something in Eleanor snapped.
"Well, first of all the animal was already dead," she began in angry whispers, "And I was looking to pull out the pieces from the sliced meat, Shane…. My priority was not to keep him whole," her voice broke at the end, tears in her eyes. The man finally released her from scrutiny, grabbing his hair and walking to the side.
"We can only hope they are not too deep," she added, and Shane turned to her. "And this has nothing to do with hunting. Major surgery cannot be performed like this, fearing that Carl will wake up and squirm all over the place… Hershel could cut a vessel and we could lose him for sure-"
"And what happens if it is too deep?"
"We would need anesthetics… a respiration system," she started, but couldn't go on. Shane let out another defeated sigh.
"He said he couldn't see him,"
"Shane-" she warned with a tired huff.
"But you tell me!" he walked back to her, the sudden outburst dying under hushed whispers, "You tell me if you could have missed him until he fell down!"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Just… tell me," he insisted. Eleanor let out another breath.
"To unexperienced hunters… it can happen," he turned away, not wanting to hear it, "It can happen! Even concerning adults!" he shook his head, pinching his nose, "Stop doing this to us Shane, There's no point… it's already done-"
They stopped, when they heard Rick raising his voice. Both turned to run back to the room, only to find Carl sleeping, and Rick pacing around.
"What happened?"
"Could you explain to him why he can't move from here? He seems to not listen to me," Hershel commented and Eleanor rolled her eyes.
"Rick-"
"Lori is his mother! And She has no idea he's agonizing!"
"Okay, come with me," she relented and moved him away.
"He can't be 50 feet farther from this bed," Hershel warned and Eleanor nodded.
As they stepped outside of the room, she called for his attention one more time.
"Rick, we are here for you… we both are. But we need you to calm down, and think form a moment," He was moving to shake his head, but Eleanor stopped him. "Rick, what would happen if you leave this place and Carl needs more blood? Will you let him die alone and from blood loss?"
He looked up, it seemed the harshness was necessary; at least, to get his attention. "Were are telling Lori… okay? We're bringing her here. But you have to stay," He was moving to cry again and Eleanor smiled caressing his cheek.
"She's right pal, and… and you know why?" Added Shane, he had slid down the wall to sit, "You can't leave him alone because, if… if something were to happen-," Eleanor turned in panic, and Shane scooted close, his hand raised, "if something were to happen, and you weren't here… You'd never forgive yourself, and Lori wouldn't either,"
"But that doesn't need to happen," Eleanor added, "You'll stay strong for him, and that way, we'll stay strong for you,"
After a moment, Rick nodded, defeated… and Eleanor felt like she could breathe again. She eyed Shane, who was sharing the same feeling as her.
"You're right,"
"yeah, I'm always right," she joked and lifted her thumb, "Not sure how it applies to that guy tho',"
"I've never been wrong in my life,"
She smiled, and her smiled turned to a grin when she saw Rick smile a little too. She hugged him, and Rick clung to her for dear life before the door opened again, and Hershel exited the room.
"How is he?" asked Rick. They all rose to stand.
"He's stable, I've gotten out two, but those were the shallowest ones. There are for more, and they are deep,"
To that, Eleanor and Shane shared a look. It has happening, what she feared, and she could no longer resist the urge to rub her face in exhaustion. Hershel stopped explaining the situation with a sigh, probably realizing she understood what was at stake.
"but you can get them out… can't you?" Asked Rick, the one that didn't hear her explanation, probably the most important person who needed to know.
Hershel shook his head, "It's complicated. his arterial pressure is falling; his belly is distended that means he has internal bleeding. To take the other ones I have to put him under,"
"And… do you have means to sedate him, safely?" Eleanor asked.
There was a pregnant silence in the room. Rick looked at the young woman, and then back at Hershel with apprehension; it was the veterinarians turn to look distressed.
"How much do you need?" Eleanor insisted.
"He won't breathe on his own if I put him under…. I need a respirator, and the tube that goes with it…. Extra surgical supplies, gauze, sutures…."
"Is there any hospital in this area?" asked Shane, he walked to rest beside Eleanor, who returned to hug her frame unsure.
"The nearest went up in flames a month ago," began Otis shaking his head, but his face illuminated "the high school…."
"That's what I was thinking" cut Hershel "They set up a FEMA shelter there… they would have everything we need,"
"But the place was overrun last time I saw it, we couldn't get near it, maybe it's better now" said Otis defeated.
"Even if it was flooded, I could make it," Eleanor jumped to say. She was met with the reluctant gaze of Rick and she felt annoyed; "I've been living surrounded by walkers for five months straight. I know how to live around them better than I know how to live around you; and if there was ever a doubt that would have been of use to you…. I don't feel that now, Rick," She nodded "I can make it, and I know what Mr. Hershel needs,"
There was a moment of silence, before Rick shook his head in denial. Eleanor let her arms fall in defeat.
"Rick!"
"I can't let you go there alone-"
"Who said she was going alone" Shane stepped in, placing a hand on the woman's shoulder "We'll take care of it… just make us the list and draw us a map doc,"
"you won't need a map…. I'll take you" offered Otis, Patricia, one of the women that was there urged him to decline, Eleanor assumed they were husband and wife "They could get lost trying to get there, and it is my responsibility…. We could talk about this all day or make it quick"
"But Carl doesn't have all day," Eleanor interrupted and looked at Rick one more time. The sheriff exchanged gazes between the three, no four, that were looking at him and he sighed, pinching his nose in probably frustration.
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"Just get what you need and get out of there"
Eleanor turned to look at him. Maggie, the name of the middle daughter of Hershel, had offered to grab a horse and search for Lori and the others. Brave girl, Eleanor thought sparingly. At the moment she was standing beside the truck that would take them to that school. Again, a property not their own, it was Otis's. Shane and the man were bussing themselves getting all necessary for travel, and she was left to wait beside the open door until they decided to leave. The young woman smiled at the older sheriff, and without much thinking, she pulled him into a hug.
It took him a while to ease into the gesture.
"It's not like I want to stay there, it will be alright,"
"I hate letting you do this" he whispered, and they parted.
"I don't, Carl needs my skills… I wouldn't forgive myself if I did nothing," she confessed with a pained yet serious expression.
"One would say you are his aunt or something," he commented, but Eleanor didn't return the awkward smile.
"Whatever it takes, I swear I'll bring that equipment by tonight," Rick let out another sigh, and nodded, "Eat well, and rest beside Carl at all moments, if I'm guessing correctly, he'll keep on loosing blood and you have to be okay to substitute it until we return," she said and climbed in, Shane had given the truck a few slaps and sat himself on the back space with the things.
"Wait,"
She turned, and blinked a few times before taking what was offered.
"I know it's not the most silent of weapons, but the range is good, one shot will make the deal if you are in a pinch," she huffed at the eagle gun before strapping the holster around her, "And before you say anything about its meaning; let me tell you if you don't' return from that school, I'll be going there to take it back,"
Eleanor giggled, at least he was in a lighter mood than before.
And with a last pat on his shoulder, they drove off.
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"See the light blue truck with EMS written on it?"
"Wait… that's it?"
Otis and Shane turned to her. The ride had been at least two hours, and then they had to walk another 30 minutes to reach the school. That's why she didn't like rural areas that much, everything was so damn far away. In this case, the school was fenced, apart from the occasional walker she took down with her blades, all was good.
The problem, and she might sound like a bitch for this, might have been Otis.
The poor man couldn't run for 30 minutes, she couldn't either, but she could at least trot beside Shane and arrive a little sooner than they had. She had assumed they would be entering by twilight, but it was full night already, there was some kind of ditch before the fence –where they were currently hidden-, and the FEMA truck was far smaller, far too surrounded by walkers to make this operation a "Get in and Get out" scenario.
So, it was understandable she felt a little frustrated.
"What do you mean… that's it?" Shane asked
"I mean… that truck is small, and too far," she explained, not being to contain her exasperation. "Unless we distract them with some kind of noise, there is no way for them to not notice us climbing the fence, and getting inside the truck.
"Okay, here's what we're going to do," Shane began, "I'll make the distraction, while you climb and go to the FEMA truck. You'll stay here and wait for your return, watch our backs until we cross the fence again," he referred to Otis, who nodded in understanding.
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The first one to pass was Shane. Out of Eleanor's insistence, they threw a rock at one of the vehicles, it was big enough for it to shatter glass. It had been a while and the battery of the car was very much dead, but the snap from the window made some heads turn, that's when Shane managed to climb the fence. He crouched Shane around the police car until he reached the pilot door and opened it. He then pulled out light flares, Ellie widened her eyes and nodded, with a small smile.
It was her turn.
The climb of the fence was almost a nightmare, she felt that she was making too much noise, and no matter what she did, she would attract walkers. A high jump made her land on the other side soon after, and she spared a moment to look back at Otis as Shane was giving him pliers to make cuts on the fence. Made sense, they were not going to return so empty handed…, Eleanor thought that for the time she had spent on her own, she had never had much food, and the fact that she wasn't that much of an expert threatened to dampen her mood and courage.
So she tried to avoid it.
While the red lights shined on a corner of the high school, Eleanor and Shane sneaked their way to the FEMA truck. Both of them released a breath of relief when, as she moved the handle, the door gave in… it was not locked.
As soon as they found themselves with the door closed again, they dispersed. Eleanor pulled out a list with all that they needed, and she pointed with a flashlight the line of shelves that looked full of medical supplies. She paced around two before she turned back to Shane, who waited expectant.
"Okay" she said with a small huff "The oxygen bottles, all of them; then… the surgical supplies are over there; two of each. For the rest I'll go further inside,"
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"Have you found it yet?"
"…. Ugh-no," She grunted while letting another carton box down. The endotracheal intubator, a piece of sterile plastic that served for assisted respiration outside or inside cases of general anesthesia… was not on plain sight. She had searched box by box, and felt that she took an eternity. If Shane was asking why she took so long… it was because it had been an eternity. For a moment, the woman feared that the truck had none of those and she was scared, but at the last minute, she dipped down, and found two.
"Okay!" she whispered with a gasp, "Okay! We are done! We are done!" she repeated, closing her backpack tightly and letting it rest on her back.
Shane walked to the door and made a signal to keep quiet, before he opened the door. A passing thought had Eleanor wondering…
How hard could it be to return?
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