I finally opened up the bathroom door, test in my hand and flopped on my bed.

I knew I had to rush off to school or else Queller would probably call my dad. I took one last look at the two lines before burying the test between the mattress and mattress pad of my bed and sticking the crumpled wrapper in my purse.

And with that I made my way to the door and was ready to go.

But in the drop of a hat a wave of nausea hits me and I run right back to the bathroom.

It had been like this for about a week and a half now. Waking up and feeling super sick, vomiting, feeling like a zombie throughout the day. I hadn't thought much of it, just a summer virus probably, until I finally realized it was the first week of September and I was late.

I flushed the toilet, groaned and grabbed a pack of saltine crackers on the way out the door.

All I wanted right now was to jump back into bed, hide under the covers, and know everything was going to be okay.

If I'm being honest, I don't think it's even set into my brain yet.

I looked down at my stomach but am interrupted by a beep on my phone.

Gossip Girl

" Looks like N is on his way to higher education at Columbia. Finally on the grid again after being virtually MIA this summer".

I sigh and force myself out the door.

*

I sit through first period history fidgeting and feeling sick.

I secretly glance down at my phone multiple times wondering whether or not to break down and text Nate. Not even tell him the news, just to hear from him.

It wasn't like we lost contact. But after we were together that night everything shifted. I felt awkward, like things were different between us. And then we were back in the city, in slightly different worlds.

Nate had probably already met some perfect, amazing, smart college girl by now and I was just the dumb high schooler he accidentally knocked up.

And it's not like I never heard from him. We texted every so often, but we hadn't seen each other since I woke up with him in the morning and it seemed like we should pretend like it never happened.

Sitting at my desk my mind shifts from the Civil War Ms. Jennings is going on about to the night of July 29th.

July 29th

We were supposed to go to some charity event at the country club.

My dad, Eric, Dan, Nate.

Lily hadn't been heard from for a while, apparently she was at some yoga retreat.

I sat in my room trying to pick out a dress for the night with Eric and could see Dan and Nate throwing a football around outside on the perfectly green grass.

With Eric's approval I chose a sapphire blue strappy maxi dress with silver accessories.

"Sooo", Eric started in that tone. "Nate's gonna be there tonight".

I was looking at myself in the mirror but turned to glare back at Eric.

"And?", I rolled my eyes playfully.

"And the two of you haven't stopped making googly eyes at each other for like the whole past week", Eric threw his hands up. "I mean if a guy looked at me that way..."

"You really think so?", I blushed.

"Did you see his face when you walked out in that black bikini yesterday?", Eric laid back on the bed and I plopped down beside him.

"You don't think Dan saw right?", I worried. "Because he doesn't know anything".

"No Dan's too into that new Salinger book", Eric joked and we laughed.

"Well nothing can happen, I mean my whole family is here", I said.

Eric thought for a moment.

"What if you had an emergency in the city? Like you had to rush back to work on a dress?", Eric shot up and in turn so did I. "And then you and Nate could go back to the loft".

"I don't think my dad would buy it", I sighed. "Plus I don't even know it's like that.

"Yeah Rufus could probably see through that", Eric agreed. "But it is completely like that Jenny. And besides, the Romeo and Juliet thing is kinda hot".

I hit Eric's shoulder playfully.

We went down and met Nate and Dan outside, my eyes meeting Nate's.

Man, who gave him the right to be that attractive.

The night started like most. Small talk with people that knew Lily and in turn felt like they had to talk to her new step kids.

At one point a woman asked me: "Who are you here with, dear?".

Unsure of what to say I babbled something on about Lily Van Der Woodsen/Bass until Nate came up behind me.

"Hi Diane, yeah Jennifer is here with me", he stated as he linked his arm through mine.

"Oh you two make a darling couple", she gleamed and I couldn't tell if it was fake or not. "Tell your mom I said hi".

Nate nodded politely and we moved toward the drinks table.

"Jennifer?", I asked and Nate laughed.

"You wanna get out of here?", Nate asked seriously as I surveyed the drinks.

"And go where?", I questioned as I picked up a martini.

"Jenny you shouldn't have one of those", Nate said, serious.

"Nate I've told you before, you're not my father, and you're not my brother, so-".

I was cut off by Nate's lips on mine.

I could feel stares on us but Nate kept deepening the kiss, his hands gently on my cheeks. My hands reaching up to his face in surprise.

"Why did you just do that?", I whispered as he pulled away.

"Because I wanted to. Because I don't care about these people, I care about you".

"Where can we go?", I asked my cheeks on fire.

"Back to mine if you want or wherever else, I just want to be somewhere where we can be us", he said softly.

I took his hand as we walked towards the doors, I looked around and luckily did not see Dan or my dad, but I knew word would probably spread as it did at these parties.

We got into Nate's family's convertible that had no top on. Nate's hand grazed my leg in the car, and my hair spun around me in the wind.

We went to the beach first. It was already starting to get dark, but I'd told him I'd wanted ice cream, the soft serve kind they had down there. Nate laughed but agreed.

I took my shoes off to walk on the beach and ended up doing cartwheels along the shoreline.

"I gotta say Jenny", Nate's arms grabbed my waist. "I'm starting to think there's nothing you can't do".

I smiled as the light caught his eye and proceeded to touch my tongue to my nose.

We broke out in laughs.

"It's my secret talent", I exclaimed. "I have an unusually long tongue".

"Oh do you?", Nate smirked looking into the distance as our hands entwined.

We walk up to the ice cream stand.

"How is it that I've known you all this time and I still don't know your favorite flavour?", Nate questions.

"Oreo", I say. "But it has to be with chocolate sauce or else it's not acceptable".

"Interesting", Nate nods.

I got my ice cream with two spoons so Nate could have some.

"Oh a spoon for me I see", Nate mocks.

"I thought I should be nice, but don't be fooled Archibald, you just get one bite".

Nate takes a spoon and scoops up a huge spoonful of ice cream.

"Nate!", I squeal but it's already on its way to his mouth.

"Okay you were right", Nate says. "It's the best".

I smile.

"Okay but the rest is mine. Hands off".

We get back to Nate's family's place just before midnight.

"Your dad is probably wondering where you are right?", Nate asks. "I can drive you home?".

"No, my dad is so preoccupied with trying to get Serena back from Prague. Apparently he's on the phone with TMZ as we speak", I say. "Eric texted".

Nate nods.

"So no one else is here?", I ask. "Doesn't it get kind of lonely?".

"Well... yeah", Nate admits and smiles. "That's why I've been spending so much time with you. Usually Chuck will stay but he's off with Blair, y'know the whole epic love story thing".

Nate laughs, then changes the subject.

"Wanna see something cool?", he asks.

"Yeah, of course".

Nate guides me up the elegant granite looking staircase with the walls lined with photos of people looking so serious they might burst. Nate's family, I supposed.

Nate brought me through the first door on the right.

"Is this your room?", I asked stepping in to see a queen sized bed with blue nautical looking sheets, white wicker furniture and fairly plain walls.

"Yeah. Used to be mine and Tripps. We had bunk beds", Nate says looking around the room. "He doesn't come here much anymore though".

Nate steps around the bed and I watch him lean down to open an air vent.

I walk over in confusion as Nate pulls out some crumpled up paper.

"What is that?".

"Me and Tripp wrote down what be predicted our futures would be, can you believe that? I just remembered when we were walking tonight", Nate unfolded the papers.

Tripp Van Der Bilt will go to Notre Dame for football, then run for office and marry a beautiful girl to settle down with.

"Well he didn't do to Notre Dame for football but he was pretty spot on", Nate laughed.

We looked down at Nate's.

Nathaniel Archibald will go to USC, marry the coolest girl in the world, and have lots of kids.

I giggle.

"Yeah, that's kind of embarrassing", Nate rubs his eyes. "I don't even remember writing that".

"No it's cute", I say. "You're not like Tripp, and maybe that's a good thing".

Nate smiles at me.

It felt good to share this moment with Nate. When I was around him I felt like he was a Nate that no one had ever met before.

"So did you find her?", I ask.

"What?", Nate looks puzzled.

"The coolest girl in the world!", I laugh, but suddenly Nate's eyes meet mine and I look up at his. It hits me suddenly that there is no one home.

I'd never felt so encompassed by someone and so myself with someone.

Nate moves closer and I can feel his breath on my cheek.

"Jenny...", he whispers.

"Yeah?".

"Do you feel it?".

"Of course I do", I say because isn't it obvious?. "I always do".

And suddenly his lips hit mine.