Listener Chapter 2 - Metaphorical horsewhip, a pride and prejudice fanfic

Since you insist...

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'Nothing to say? Hmmm… For a man who was so very vocal at the assembly, you are remarkably reticent now.'

Since Darcy still could not think of anything to say, Mr Bennet continued his soliloquy. 'Perhaps you can explain where you learned such extraordinary manners. Is this the latest fashion in Town? I suppose it must be, judging by the manners of the… … ahh… ladies in your company. You must forgive us for not being up on the latest fashions, we are after all just uncivilised country bumpkins, not privy to the… ahh… refined manners of the ton.'

This jibe too did not elicit a response, since Darcy was confounded by the perspicacity of Mr Bennet, and how closely his words mirrored his earlier thoughts.

'I am afraid in a sleepy little town, so very far away from the capital, we have little opportunity to acquire Town manners and attitudes. Although we are all fully aware that we do not have the consequence of people like yourself and the Bingleys. Take Longbourn and the Bennets for instance. We are relative newcomers in the neighbourhood. After all, we have looked after our estates and tenants for only two dozen or so generations. So, you can see, we do know how insignificant we are, when compared to such illustrious neighbours as Mr Bingley and his company.'

Darcy nearly choked at the sarcasm dripping from every one of Mr Bennet's words. It was obvious that the gentleman knew of the Bingley's antecedents, and how Miss Bingley denigrated the people who had been landowners for what must be at least four centuries. Darcy could feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment when he thought how Miss Bingley acted, as if she was superior to these members of the gentry. Even if they were unsophisticated.

'Are you well? You looked rather flushed. Perhaps something you ate disagreed with you?' Mr Bennet asked in mock concern. He was certain that the gentleman understood his meaning, but had so far failed to apply the reproach to himself.

'If you are becoming ill, perhaps I should send for the apothecary, since we do not have a doctor in town. At least not a medical doctor. I am afraid that my degrees from Oxford focused on history and the classics, rather than medicine.'

'I am not ill.' Darcy managed to grate out. Did Mr Bennet truly just say that he had multiple degrees from Oxford?

'If you are sure… Perhaps some more of Sir William's excellent brandy will help settle whatever ails you.'

Now that his attention had been drawn to it, Darcy realised that Sir William did in fact have an excellent brandy. Darcy could not remember having enjoyed a better brandy anywhere, including his uncle's house, even though the Earl of Matlock was a renowned connoisseur.

'Perhaps a little more brandy would help.' Darcy carefully acknowledged, but did not move, other than to raise the glass to his lips to finish the last few drops.

'Since you are on your feet, you might as well get it. Or do you expect me to get up to serve you? Perhaps carrying so much pride and arrogance about is too tiring?'

Darcy, who had just been swallowing the last of the brandy in his glass, physically choked at this direct rebuke.

It took a minute of coughing before he could speak again. 'You think me proud and arrogant?'

'As well as rude, conceited, disdainful, ill-mannered, ungentlemanly… Need I go on?'

The gentleman from Derbyshire was flabbergasted when he realised that this whole harangue had been directed at himself, rather than his company. He had initially thought that Mr Bennet acknowledged that his behaviour was superior to these yokels. Darcy had agreed with the sarcastic diatribe against Miss Bingley, although he had felt embarrassed for his friend to be saddled with such a sister.

But Mr Bennet's last unequivocal statement made it clear that Darcy had been mistaken.

'But you still have not answered my original question. Where did you learn your manners? Particularly that scowl of yours.'

Darcy at last found his voice. 'I suppose I learnt my manners in Town, since I am forever fending off unwanted attention, and in recent years I have had to help Bingley escape several mercenary ladies who latched onto him.'

'Indeed. I must say, Mr Bingley has shown a marked preference for my daughter Jane. But, considering your powers of observation, it may have been too subtle for you to notice that he is pursuing her, not the other way around.' Mr Bennet again sported that challenging eyebrow, while he let Darcy consider the statement, before asking, 'and, pray tell, who is pursuing you? You, who are reportedly twice as wealthy as Mr Bingley?'

'Everyone always pursues me,' huffed Darcy.

'Name one lady in Meryton who is pursuing you. Or even one mother who is throwing her willing or even unwilling daughter at you,' challenged Mr Bennet.

Darcy opened his mouth to answer and at last realised that not a single person in Meryton had sought his company… other than Miss Bingley. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, 'Miss Bingley.'

Bennet roared with laughter. 'Do not blame your company on us. You choose to associate with that family. You brought her with you. She is not of our community, and based on her attitude, she has no wish to be… … For which we are all eminently grateful. Our ladies would be mortified to be as fashionable as she is.'

Mr Bennet brought his laughter back under control. 'Have you also already forgotten the conversation you eavesdropped on? Not a single woman, pun intended, in Meryton is prepared to give you the time of day. I do not know how things are in London these days, but around here, ladies do not like to be insulted, denigrated, looked down upon, or in any other way disrespected. And certainly not by some stranger, who is of absolutely no consequence in our community. No matter how highly he thinks of himself.'

He leaned back in his chair and finished his drink. After a moment, during which he watched Darcy trying to absorb the unpleasant truth, he held out his glass. 'While you get your own drink, you might as well refill my glass as well.'

Darcy nodded numbly as he took the glass to the sideboard and refilled both glasses. When he returned, he handed Mr Bennet his glass, before sitting down opposite the gentleman, still deep in thought.

Mr Bennet watched his companion carefully. Considering how brutal he had been in describing Darcy's character and behaviour, the young man was taking it remarkably well. Rather than blustering and denying any wrongdoing, he at least appeared to be thinking about what he had been told. Perhaps there was hope for him yet.

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In case some of you have not read the original P&P here are some quotes from the discussion between the Bennet ladies and Charlotte Lucas after the first assembly.

Mrs B: 'he is such a disagreeable man, that it would be quite a misfortune to be liked by him.'

Charlotte: 'but I wish he had danced with Eliza.'

Mrs B: 'Another time, Lizzy,' said Mrs Bennet, 'I would not dance with him, if I were you.'

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btw I added a few words in the previous chapter to make something in this chapter fit better. The new bit is in bold.

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