Chapter 2

Clowns and Suspicions

Harry's sixth birthday was promising to be an exciting one. His uncle Sirius was taking him to the circus, along with his Aunt Minnie. She only ever visited on his birthday and during summer, as she was busy during the rest of the year at her special school. Harry was fascinated by the stern looking woman, with her tight bun and strange clothes. She always had fantastical stories about the students she taught, though Harry probably wasn't supposed to laugh as much as he did when she spoke of the troublemakers. As the three of them walked through the circus grounds, Harry was so excited, watching the bright lights, the smell of all the food and the music and performers entertaining other people.

"Aunt Minnie, please can we try the games?" Harry asked, taking the older woman by the hand. Minerva gave one of her small smiles, nodding, leading the way to where there were bottles stacked up and balls on the side to be thrown at them.

Sirius paid for Harry to have three balls, which he accepted and threw, one at a time. The first struck the table itself, the second missed, and the final ball struck the bottles, knocking a couple of them down but not enough to win. Harry looked up at Sirius with his practised pleading eyes, who fondly rolled his eyes in response as he paid for three more balls. This time, Harry threw them harder, but as he did, he could have sworn he heard Sirius mutter something.

The balls hit the mark perfectly, striking the bottles, and knocking all of them down. Harry cheered as he jumped up and down excitedly, choosing a large teddy bear as his prize, which the stall owner got for Harry. Minerva held it for Harry as he hugged it, the bear almost as big as him.

"Well done, Harry," Sirius said, placing a proud hand on his shoulder. Harry grinned, not noticing the glare that Minerva gave to Sirius. "What do you want to do next?"

"Can you try the shooting one? I'm not good enough, but you could do it," Harry replied, eyeing up the dress up clothes for the winner.

Sirius nodded. "Oh, I think I can manage that," Sirius agreed as they walked to the stall. Harry watched proudly as Sirius managed to get a perfect score, winning more toys and clothes for Harry, all of which went into a bag that Sirius had brought. It seemed like everything could fit in there!

As the three of them went ahead towards the big top, Harry heard whispers between Sirius and Minerva.

"Don't you think you were reckless?" Minerva hissed softly, not angrily but in a frustrated tone.

"No one saw, I was good, and careful," Sirius whispered back. It wasn't the first time Harry had heard such arguments, but he never wanted to talk about it because he knew they wouldn't tell him anything. He had tried, once, but Sirius had dismissed it as grown-up stuff.

As they neared the big top, Sirius brought Harry a large candy floss, as well as buying some snacks for himself and Minerva.

Harry loved the circus show, his attention never wavering. He didn't even notice when Minerva muttered a few words to help one of the acrobats after it looked like she was going to miss being caught. Everything looked amazing to Harry. It was the best birthday ever and he didn't want it to end. As the show came to a close, Harry tried to hide his yawn, but Sirius caught it.

"Come on Harry, time to go home and get some sleep," Sirius said, ruffling up Harry's permanently scruffy hair even more. Harry nodded sleepily, leaning into his uncle as Sirius picked him up, carrying him from the tent. As soon as he was put in the back of the car, Harry's eyes closed as he fell asleep.

"That was close. Good thing you saw it," Sirius said, as he and Minerva sat in the kitchen.

"At least Harry enjoyed himself. I must admit, I've grown fonder of coming here than I expected. At first, I was making sure Harry was safe, not from you obviously, but Professor Dumbledore wanted to make sure that none of you-know-who's supporters wouldn't be able to find him, and yet watching him grow… it really struck me. I never had children, and yet watching Harry made me wonder about how I'd have been as a parent," Minerva's confession surprised Sirius, who understood the feeling.

"I know what you mean. I wanted children one day, but after James and Lily… I wasn't sure what to do. I knew I had to raise Harry but being a parent to him… it made me think of so much that I've missed. I've been out a couple of times with some girls, but I've not met the right woman. I mean, I loved Remus, but you know what happened there," Sirius said with a sigh.

Minerva nodded. "I can understand that Sirius. Everyone, myself included, was surprised. Remus was so supportive of you at Hogwarts, and he kept all of you in check. I mean, you and James were quite the double act!" Minerva exclaimed, with a small grin.

"Sadly, I agree. I just never imagined… I mean, maybe I should have been the secret keeper. Then we'd all be together still.".

"Sirius, you can't blame yourself for what happened. Strange things happen all the time, especially in our world. The strangest thing is that… a part of me has seen you like a son as well, and I've grown fond of you, and Harry," Minerva said.

"Well, Mum, you're a lot better than my actual mother, so you're already top of my book," Sirius joked, laughing softly. They fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. "Minerva, have I done a good job?"

"You've done an amazing job. Harry is a wonderful young man, very polite and kind, and sweet. He definitely has your cheek, but you've made sure he is a great boy," Minerva told him. "Much better than the muggle relatives ever would have been able to do."

"Thank you for saying so. I know he's been having some trouble with something, but I think it's his magic. I've been trying to keep his powers suppressed, but he's powerful, more so than anyone suspects," Sirius sighed as he leant back on the sofa. "I just… I want to tell him everything, but I know I can't, not yet anyway."

"I can only imagine how hard this is, but it's for his own safety. You remember what happened to the Longbottom's?" Minerva asked, her face wincing with sadness.

"How could I forget... I knew Bellatrix was deranged but what she did goes beyond. How's their boy handling it?" Sirius asked.

"From what I know, he's being raised by his grandmother. Poor boy still hasn't fully recovered, but I'm sure he'll get there," Minerva answered, looking thoughtful. "At least most of you-know-who's people are gone."

"For the moment, perhaps. But I'm not convinced they're all gone. Lucius Malfoy is still out there, and I don't buy for a second that he's a good guy," Sirius snapped angrily.

"I understand that Sirius, I really do. Please, trust in us, and in the greater good," Minerva's plea was so heartfelt; Sirius could hear it in her words.

"I guess," Sirius said softly. "I just hope Harry can handle the truth when the time comes."

With Sirius busy the next day, Harry was left to his own devices in his room, and he decided to sort through the things that Sirius had won for him at the circus. He pulled everything out of the surprisingly large bag and began to put everything in its proper place.

Pulling out the last item, Harry held up a pink summer dress, with a white stripe across the waist, and on the arms. The dress was also covered in white dots. How did it get into his bag? He thought about throwing it in the bin, but he froze as he felt the material. It felt so soft, and gentle. It even smelled nice. Harry went to his mirror and held the dress against himself. Why did it look so nice and inviting? He swayed slightly as he held it, wondering what it would be like to wear it.

He quickly looked out of his bedroom window and checked to see that Sirius was still busy in the garden. Stepping away and closing the curtains, Harry pulled off his clothes, and put the dress on. He gasped softly as he saw his reflection.

He no longer saw himself as a boy, but as a young girl. It felt… nice, and so right somehow. "My name is Harry Potter, and I'm a girl," he said softly, carefully scrutinising his reflection. The pink dress fell to his knees, somehow a perfect fit despite looking a little too small when he first saw it. He smoothed down some of the creases before patting at his short hair, saying again, "my name is Harry Potter, and I'm a girl." As he stared into the mirror, he watched his eyes fill with tears. Was this why he always felt so strange and different from the boys at his school? Because he liked girl dresses? Because he felt like he should be a girl? If only his hair...

Harry gasped. He didn't understand how, but his dark short hair began to grow right before his eyes, the colour shifting to a beautiful auburn shade before it stopped right above his elbow. The building tears fell down his cheeks, and Harry wept softly, seeing himself as a girl.

He loved it.

He loved his long soft hair. He loved the sensation of wearing the dress. He loved how it looked when he twirled, and he spun until he felt like he was going to be sick. The sensation of his long hair tickling his upper arms made him laugh, feelings of elation and happiness swelling up within his small body and Harry almost didn't hear Sirius calling for him.

"Harry?"

Harry quickly pulled the dress off, and shoved it under his bed, before putting on his boy clothes. He looked in the mirror again, seeing his hair back to its normal state. He shook his head; he clearly had a wild imagination to have seen himself with long red hair. He made sure to smile as his uncle knocked on his bedroom door.

"Yes, Uncle Sirius?" Harry asked, opening it to reveal his sweating uncle.

"I just had a message from your Aunt Minnie. She's coming to visit for lunch, so do you want to go out somewhere nice, the three of us?" Sirius asked. "She goes back to Scotland tomorrow."

Harry nodded. "Yes please," he said, grinning. It sounded wonderful, going out for lunch. He loved his Aunt Minnie, especially since she would always bring his favourite biscuits.

"Then get ready while I have a quick shower, and I'll meet you downstairs soon."

Harry's dream's that night were among the most unusual ones he had ever experienced. He pictured himself as a girl again going by a different name. He tried on so many different clothes, had his hair in loads of different styles that he had seen some of Sirius's various dates have over the years, and he even began to put on makeup. As he opened his eyes to the darkness of his bedroom, he got out of bed, reached under it and pulled out the pink dress.

Using his lamp for light, Harry changed into the dress again, careful to stay as quiet as possible; Uncle Sirius could have the hearing of a dog, sometimes... As he stared at himself in the mirror, his hair once again became long and auburn. Harry smiled as his lips became slightly red, and he looked nothing like a boy.

As if by magic, soft music began to play around him. Harry began to dance to it, just like he had seen on the television, his dress swaying slightly. "My name is…" Harry started, thinking carefully. He knew Minerva Potter didn't sound right, but there was one name that was beautiful, and now he looked like her. He had seen loads of photos.

"My name is Lily Potter, and I'm a girl," Harry said. His voice even sounded feminine. He began to dance again, smiling as his hair swayed with him. He had never imagined himself being so happy.

He wondered how Sirius would react to him being a girl. Would he still love Harry? Of course, he would, Harry knew. His uncle would love him no matter what. But was it right? Could he be a girl?

No, Harry knew it wasn't right. Boys would always be boys, wouldn't they? He knew this was just a dream, and it would never be real. He looked at himself… no, she looked at herself in the mirror.

"My name is Lily!" she exclaimed softly. Lily smiled happily, trying to wipe the tears away as she touched the mirror. She closed her eyes, wishing this moment would last forever, just before everything turned to black.

As Harry opened his eyes, with the morning summer sunlight pouring into his bedroom, he yawned, sat up and stretched. Remembering the dream, he scrambled out of his bed and ran to the mirror, but he was back to his normal self. His hair was messy, and short, and dark. His scar was there, and he was wearing his pyjamas. He looked like Harry Potter.

"What a weird dream," Harry concluded as he went to the bathroom, to wash and get ready for the school day ahead. He could hear Sirius preparing breakfast downstairs.

As he went through his morning routine, the thoughts of him dancing the night before began to fade into memory, like it had never happened. After all, it had been a dream. Hadn't it?